[NunOnBreak]

TODAY is the SESQUICENTENNIAL for the pony express!

Forget that Greek or Roman dude that ran a couple dozen miles just to give a message and die. Americans did it better!

Pony Express riders braved Indian attacks and non-consentual brokeback mountaineers and fatigue and deserts and snow and rain and Zeus' thunderbolts to deliver messages across these great United States.

Pony express riders had to have special indentations in their saddles because their balls were the size of Tribbles and made of solid steel.

They rode like 250 miles a day!

If they wanted to sleep or eat or drink or fuck or read they had to do it while riding horses at high speeds and carrying mail and firearms.

Riders were required to be expert and weigh less than 125 lb (57 kg)., (MJS?) with an advertisement of the time asking for, "young skinny wiry fellows, not over eighteen... willing to risk death daily... Orphans preferred... Wages: $25 per week." If a relief rider was not available at the next station, the rider was required to change horses and keep going.

Some stupid inventor dude ended it when the telegraph line was completed, but during 19 months Pony Express was in service they only lost one message.

Anyways, in honor of the SESQUICENTENNIAL I am going to ride across the country to New York and deliver a message with my penis to some hot celebrity female living in New York. Name me a few potential lucky girls.

http://www.ponyexpress.org/index.php?page=history

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Old_West

[Ajamil]

Hooray for glorious failures!

Although the pony Express was an efficient mail service, it failed as a profitable enterprise. It is not known exactly how much the service cost Russel, but during its operation the company only grossed $90,141, or about the cost of purchasing horses for the service. By all accounts the Pony Express had lost $200,000 by the time it closed operations.

That's $200,000 in 19 months, by the way. The riders were bitching, though, and the lore was well worth the cost.

[WarPhalange]

Humans can run further than horses.

[Cullion]

Horse has a better top speed if you need to scoot away from something dangerous when you're crossing a big patch of wilderness. If the mailsack was any substantial weight, the horse is better off than a human for endurance too, I would've thought.

[Ajamil]

They should use camels.

[WarPhalange]

Would you fuck with a single guy running across the desert with a sack slung on his back? Cuz I wouldn't.

[Cullion]

If there were 5 of me, or I was rattlesnake he just trod on? Yes.

[Ajamil]

Give them McClaw Cloggers™: Armored boots designed to simulate barefoot running*.

Teach them TKD.

Shinguards* sold separately.





















"Shinguard" refers to nylon tights with steel wool mail stitched over top.