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Thread: DARWIN AWARDS

  1. #1
    Registered Member noob Clang's Avatar
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    Default DARWIN AWARDS

    Sorry if someone posted these already.

    More news from the shallow end of the gene pool!

    IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN..................
    > The 2003 Darwin Award Winner:
    >
    >
    > When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
    a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
    the trigger again. This time it worked.....
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > And now, the 2003 Darwin Award Honorable Mentions:
    >
    >
    > The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
    and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
    company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have
    a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim
    was app! roved.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
    blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
    space. Understandably, he shot her.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
    that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
    to beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
    went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
    then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
    the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
    deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close hecould get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
    asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
    gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
    provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
    bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
    >
    > (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
    committed?)
    > *^*^*^*
    > A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying
    a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
    MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then
    the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over
    laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
    gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the ! thief got him. The thief
    ran aw ay and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put
    a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this
    is a ****-up!"
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
    just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
    and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
    window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the
    head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
    Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
    purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
    give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
    apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
    store. The thief! was then taken out of the car and tol d to stand there for a
    positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady
    I stole the purse from."
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
    King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
    weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
    >
    > *^*^*^*
    > A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline
    from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
    bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
    next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
    man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
    the motor home's sewage tank ! by mistake. The owner of the vehic le declined
    to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


    Clang

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    good post Clang, and yes if he left money there it would be attempted robbery.

  3. #3


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    Uh, that's nice, but there is an Off-Topic Forum
    Have you viddied the horrorshow Martial Arts and Fight Videos and Clips forum yet?

    ironhill - If this is in the wrong forum please flame the shit out of me.

  4. #4
    Registered Member noob Clang's Avatar
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    ooops

    Ah well phrost can move it then
    Clang

  5. #5
    I restore the Balance Kungfoolss's Avatar
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    Originally posted by PizDoff
    Uh, that's nice, but there is an Off-Topic Forum
    Yah, Clang. If it had a stylist that bit the dust, then it would have been "On-Topic." ;)

    I'll help you out, here's one of my favorites. Enjoy. ->

    NEBRASKA 1st DEGREE MURDER CONVICTIONS

    (1973 to present)

    THIS LIST INCLUDES ALL FIRST DEGREE MURDER CONVICTIONS WHERE A SENTENCE OF LIFE OR DEATH WAS IMPOSED BY THE DISTRICT COURT. IT INCLUDES ALL CASES WHERE THE SENTENCE OR CONVICTION WAS LATER VACATED OR REVERSED BY A STATE OR FEDERAL COURT.

    FLOYD, Cecil Henry:

    Floyd, 37 years old, attempted to rob a filling station. The attendant advised Floyd that he knew kung fu, did a kung fu scream, and jumped into a kung fu stance. Floyd shot the attendant three times in the head. Floyd had other murder/robbery charges pending in other states.
    Kungfoolss, Scourge of the theory-based stylists, Most Feared man at Bullshido.com, and the Preeminent Force in the martial arts political arena

  6. #6
    Registered Member noob Clang's Avatar
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    Now we have a stylist that bit the dust.

    Thanks for putting me "on-track" kungfools
    Clang

  7. #7
    The Wastrel
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    Darnit! I was just trying to help!

  8. #8
    grego
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    Nice post Clang!

  9. #9
    FingerorMoon?
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    (chuckles)

  10. #10
    I restore the Balance Kungfoolss's Avatar
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    Originally posted by grego
    Nice post Clang!
    I'm not sure I agree, it's sort of hard to read the manner in which it was posted.
    Kungfoolss, Scourge of the theory-based stylists, Most Feared man at Bullshido.com, and the Preeminent Force in the martial arts political arena

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