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Thread: A Warrior's Journey

  1. #1
    Registered Member WC4EVA's Avatar
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    Default A Warrior's Journey

    A Warrior's Journey

    Over the last several weeks, I have received numerous PMs accusing me of fraudulent practices, bad faith, and disgracing the "Wing C(T)c(s)un family honor." I resent these implications, coming as they do from people who have not used their kungfu skills as they were originally meant to be used: to dennervate, destroy, decapitate, dismember, and defang one's adversary by all means necessary. Picture a white Bruce Lee with classical Nordic features and a lot more muscle...that is who I am. I will admit that I truly enjoy streetfighting, but I will always regret the lives that I have been forced to take. With great power comes great responsibility...I try not to kill unless absolutely necessary.
    You will never understand me unless you understand my personal background. I've decided to grace Bullshido with the first ever authorized account of Tsai Koh the world's Most Lethal Man...and the last surviving Ultimate Wing Chun fighter. My story spans 25 years and is much too large to write down all at once. I'll update this thread periodically.
    But, in the beginning...
    In 1978, as a tourist visiting Hong Kong, I ended up in a barfight with some of the local Cantonese triads...it was me versus about sixteen of them. I was young, stupid, drunk, and may have molested one of their girlfriends/sisters/mothers. I terminated the first 3 but I'll admit that the remaining thirteen were giving me some trouble. At this time, my base style was Taekwon Do...the system itself was much more lethal back in the old days. An effective fighting stance, ballet-like mobility, lightning kicks, and bullet-like punches characterized old school Taekwon Do...truly one of the greatest Korean inventions ever. (American TKD has been so watered down that the only pure TKD exists only among some of the hermits in the mountains of Korea. Truly good TKD men are far more lethal than your normal kungfu practioner).
    My axe kicks, spinning side kicks, and triple tornado kicks were useless against such a large crowd however. Kicking is somewhat difficult in a barfight. My situation was looking pretty bleak when an elderly Chinaman, dressed in silk robes and kungfu slippers appeared out of nowhere. I gazed in awe as he moved through the ranks of Triad gangbangers with lightning speed...his hands moved so fast that I couldn't keep track of them. Punches came out in bursts and flattened everything they touched. One impudent Chinaman, heavily tattoeed with dragons, ran screaming against the man and was backhand slapped so hard his neck snapped. His body convulsed on the ground and I watched in disgust as he began to defecate uncontrollably.
    However, the old man's coup de grace was an amazing flurry of eyepokes and fingerjabs against random spots on the remaining opponent a mountain of a man (I later learned he was Mongolian). Blood began to surge from the Mongolian's mouth like a crimson river until without warning, his throat exploded! I was frozen in shock.
    This was my introduction to Ultimate Wing Chun. The old man accepted me as his disciple and eventually adopted me as his son. For those of you uneducated in Chinese culture and ways, "Tsai Koh" translates to "Valiant warrior" in Chinese. My father refused to disclose his name to me and I always called him the Old Man.
    My training was hard and rigorous, far more intense than any of the namby-pamby stuff that today's "ultimate MMA" fighters perform. During the night, I honed my skills on the rooftops of Hong Kong and during the day I drilled relentlessly against "The EmasculatorTM." The Emasculator was my master's upgrade of the traditional wing chun dummy...it was a pillar with four arms. A motor built into the pillar caused the arms to spin and flexible joints caused the pillar to bob and weave. A fiendish innovation of my masters was a steel spike aimed at the genitals which would pop out of the machine at random times...this was designed to teach the user to guard against groin kicks. The machine taught the Ultimate Wing Chun fighter impeccable accuracy, mobility, power, precision, and timing...far more so than any prehistoric wooden dummy could possibly do. Unfortunately, it had a somewhat high injury rate. It had devoured 4 disciples before encountering me. Needless to say, however....
    I made the Emasculator my bitch.
    Last edited by WC4EVA; 19th November 03 at 04:53 PM.
    I am the One.


    WING CHUN OWNZZZZ!!!! SPK4444!!! BITCHES!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Dochter
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    This guy is the best poster ever.

  3. #3
    Registered Member akamai's Avatar
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    yawn.. been there, done that
    why don't you talk about something a bit more exciting, like lineage wars?
    :D

  4. #4
    Registered Member infidel's Avatar
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    YES! U RULE DOOD!!!

  5. #5
    FingerorMoon?
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    "In 1978, as a tourist visiting Hong Kong, I ended up in a barfight with some of the local Cantonese triads...it was me versus about sixteen of them. I was young, stupid, drunk, and may have molested one of their girlfriends/sisters/mothers."


    Its always the way isn't it.

  6. #6
    IronBuddha
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    i want whatever this guy is on!

  7. #7
    Darting Fingers
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    WC4EVA you are the greatest WC warrior eva to grace this forum, all these martial artists can be nothing but owned by WC. I look forward to hearing more of your journey and hopefully more stories of ICK.

    Kuen yum sao fat

  8. #8
    Senior Administrator JKDChick's Avatar
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    *extremely confused look*

    Who ARE you? If people have been PM'ing you, and you only have 9 posts, you've either got to be the fastest troll on the board (0-death threats in 8 posts) or someone posting under two tags. That's almost our only no-no, by the way. Pick one or the other.
    Monkey Ninjas! Attack!

  9. #9
    Registered Member Kein Haar's Avatar
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    I think it's dochter.
    If your daughter isn't wearing her hijab, you can see it and slap her.

    -Creativo

  10. #10
    Dochter
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    I wish, since I went into science I haven't been able to write nearly that well.

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