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Thread: Starship Troopers 3 (now w/ SFX circa 1995!)

  1. #1
    flying DPs for all! partyboy's Avatar
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    Default Starship Troopers 3 (now w/ SFX circa 1995!)



    It's got it all!

    Dark humor, corny gags, fascist governments, token boobies, bugs and Casper Van Diem's naked butt.

    Except this time it comes with powered armor, shitty special effects, christian propaganda and some serious over-acting.


    Acting:
    Casper and Jolene Blalock had their usual b-movie acting (Blalock is as hot as ever though). For some reason both Christian Bale and van Diem decided to go to the same school of Super Deep Voice Acting (TM). No idea where the other actors came from but it features a couple of hotties and their aforementioned nakedness. A couple of them are totally fucking annoying, though. It was hard to watch between the blonde religious fanatic and the ker-yuck-I'm-a-fucking-retard cook. Blalock also goes from a super hardcore bitch to religious yuppy, talk about a disappointment there.


    Action:
    About on par with other b-movies. Watching tiny women trying to manhandle 5ft fully auto machineguns with no stock is fun. There also was a nice scene where one of the main actors basically dry-humped a brain bug for a good 5 minutes.


    SFX:
    Yeah, don't get your hopes up with this. Somehow they managed to get their budget slashed to the point where going back to mattes and miniatures would have made more sense (shit I think they actually *did* use a couple of mattes in there).

    The 1997 version looked spectacular and this doesn't hold a candle to it. I'd compare it to later Babylon 5 crapfest. What it lacked in CGI it tried make up for in multi-color gore, which at least kept with the series. One of the funniest CGI shots though was this pseudo-Mighty Morphin Power Rangers screen when they're suiting up:

    Spoiler:




    Story:
    You can look up the plot somewhere else for all I care. Bugs and people die... lots.


    Overall, it's hard to watch, but still watchable. So far all the fanboys have basically said that they liked it while everyone else seems to think it's a mound of shit. I'm in the middle, if they had more money to beef up the effects and maybe bring back some of the original cast (Clancy Brown & Neil Patrick Harris, booyah!) it could have really been a kick ass popcorn flick. That would probably have also let them focus a little less on the Cthulu-style big brain story and more on some powered-armor ass-kicking love.

    "Across the federation, federation experts agree that: A: God exists, B: He's on our side, C: He wants us to win."

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    Nuts in general are super.

  2. #2
    Registered Member Neildo's Avatar
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    wait wait wait, there was a second one? W T F
    Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. -Scott Adams.

  3. #3
    Self-imposed Supporting Member Mas's Avatar
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    Dude. It was terrible.

    It was sans corny anything and tried to be serious. My God. It was terrible.

  4. #4
    Registered Member staff EuropIan's Avatar
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    second starship troopers had recycled footage from the first movie.

    badly implemented at that.
    You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.

  5. #5
    flying DPs for all! partyboy's Avatar
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    LOL! I just realized that blondie's left nipple is like 3 inches higher than her right (facing her)

    Spoiler:

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiko
    Nuts in general are super.

  6. #6
    Registered Member Neildo's Avatar
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    HAWT
    Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. -Scott Adams.

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