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Thread: Video Game Movies Suck!

  1. #1
    Registered Member Halfrican's Avatar
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    Default Video Game Movies Suck!

    Right? I mean, these nobody directors that don't even care about video games take some of the best stories and worlds out there, get them licensed and signed to a movie deal, and then proceed to rape the entire video game industy in the ass. The millions of gamers that loved whatever game the movie is about, are repeatedly tricked into paying $10 to watch a two-hour long pile of shit* stink.

    I mean seriously, Hollywood, PLEASE STOP THIS. You will turn a much larger profit from creating movies that are actually good, or even just average, then you will when word gets out that you are literally charging people to see a movie that has NOTHING to do with the game except the name.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093051/

    Look at this assholes* line-up of work, and look at the average ratings of his movies, and then look at the upcoming video game movies! Every one of those movies makes a profit, but they are all terrible, FUCK*! As a gamer I want this shit* to stop, I want Uwe Boll to be castrated, and I want the creators of the god damn video game to have some input in the movie.....OH SNAP, one of those things has come true!

    Hideo Kojima, the creator of Metal Gear Solid, one of the greatest video games of all-time, is DIRECTING Metal Gear Solid the movie. Little details are yet known, what is known, is this movie WILL be the first that is true to the game. It will be the first that has an engaging and fun plot. Hell, it may also be the first that is rated as GOOD and watched by people that don't even know that it was a video game. Once the big companies in Hollywood see how much a GOOD video-game movie can gross compared to a waste of film, they might start caring about who they license this shit* out to.

    To date, there has not been a single decent video game to movie. Suck my ass* Hollywood.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0808372/

    *If these words offend you, please do not read them.
    Last edited by Halfrican; 26th September 06 at 03:34 AM.
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Jack Handy

  2. #2
    Registered Member CannibalCrowley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halfrican
    To date, there has not been a single decent video game to movie. Suck my ass* Hollywood.
    What about Mario Brothers?

  3. #3
    fuck you math class MEGA JESUS-SAMA's Avatar
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    the disclaimer wasn't funny

  4. #4
    Registered Member Gosai's Avatar
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    Funny, with all the random additions of swearing in the opening post, what annoyed me was the use of 'Oh Snap'...for some reason I despise that phrase. And Lindsay Lohan...and Myspace...and 95% of the human race...

    Anyway, we don't get good video game movies because directors/executives/whothehellever do not see them as legitimate forms of 'art' or 'media'. I think.

  5. #5
    Now with added sarcasm Supporting Member Ridge's Avatar
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    Resident evil movies were okay, but thats about it for good movies off of games.

    Has anyone else sat through the dungeons and dragons movie?
    That was by far the worst movie from a game ever.

  6. #6
    Science Fucker Photobucket WarPhalange's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Registered Member Neildo's Avatar
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    Which ones have I seen.....

    Super Mario Brothers - My dad bought this for a dollar, so I watched it again. Man, it sucks!
    Tomb Raider - Angelina Jolie is hot. This movie was not.
    Tomb Raider 2 - Same as above.
    Doom - Needed a cyberdemon.....to blow this motherfucker up. I waited a long time for it too.
    Resident Evil - Big fan of the games. Has the Hot chick whos name I can't spell. Movie sucked.

    Maybe I've seen others but i can't remember them right now.

  8. #8
    Science Fucker Photobucket WarPhalange's Avatar
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    Super Mario kicked much ass, actually. Probably the best video game movie I've ever seen.

  9. #9
    BJJ Purple Belt Gumby's Avatar
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    Doom was fucking horrible.

    All the resident evil movies suck ass (their only saving grace is that they had zombies in them).

    I even tried watching Bloodrayne the other day- do you have any idea how much a movie has to suck for me to turn it off when it stars Michelle Rodriguez and Chistina Lokken?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Photobucket Sun Wukong's Avatar
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    Oh and let's not forget Video Games based on movies, the evil opposite of movies based on video games. Both are almost always total wastes of money.

    Think about all the money you've spent on these things only to find out that they suck. Let's say, $10 each time (averaged expense accounting for games/movies you bought, rented, or saw in the theatre)

    Let's say you only enjoyed one out of ten of those. In essence, the total enjoyment that you got from that genre of games/movies cost you $100 bucks and you only liked one of them. Now, this number is just an average. Add up all the time and money you've spent on some of these rotten things and ask yourself if it was worth it just to see one movie that you liked.
    Hail Hydra!

    In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence and loathing seizes him. - Nietzsche

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