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Thread: Hurricane Ivan wisses out and kills 8; a small prayer to Jesus

  1. #1
    PeedeeShaolin
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    Default Hurricane Ivan wisses out and kills 8; a small prayer to Jesus

    There I was last night hoping this storm was going to be a real monster. I get tired of hearing about the same old same old dead iraqis, U.S. soldier getting blown up by a roadside bomb, women raped to death in the Sudan.....

    So here comes this hurricane and I'm thinking I'll have at LEAST 20 deaths to laugh over by this morning but noooooo, this pussy ass storm comes strolling in and kills only 8 people. That means only 8 people have been prevented from BEGGING for my fucking tax dollars to pay for their grief.

    Hey, to all the people in the path of that storm:

    You ever heard of a BANK?

    Because thats usually where I keep my money for when my car breaks down or when I need home improvements and things like that. You guys get it easy with that little "get-out-of-paying-for-my-own-shit" card you guys carry and show to the federal govt every time something happens.

    How many of my tax dollars have you people been able to swindle thus far?

    For you people to deserve my money I want rampant destruction and total carnage in those streets. I hope that looters bust out and fuck EVERYTHING up over there. Throwing chairs through windows and stealing shit until every paranoid suburban soccer-mom is cringing in the dark not knowing wtf is going to happen next.

    In fact, I just became religious recently and I want to take this opportunity to pray to Jesus, as lord and savior, and ask him to personally send the next hurricane STRAIGHT at you people. Jesus I know you can accomplish anything, I ask you from my heart to send the next hurricane straight into the coast to further terrorize the people who take my money without asking when they should have saved up a few dollars themselves.

    Strike fear into the hearts of the thieves oh lord!

    PLAUGE upon you ALL HAHAHA!!!

    I send TORNADOS into Florida, Carolina, Tennessee and the Virginias! Wipe you fucking miserable people straight off the map so you wont be LEFT to beg me to provide the basic functions that you should have been preparing for all along! One tornado has killed 5 already in Florida, but if you're as great as they say you are Jesus then you can do MUCH worse than that. I'm sure you've seen "Twister" oh lord and thats what I want to see when I turn on CNN.

    PRAISE JESUS!

    In Jesus' name I pray that Jeanne becomes a MONSTER and RIPS through those states like a fat man at an all you can eat buffet.

    Give me GOOD TV Lord! If it bleeds it leads and THATS what I want to see! The more people that get blown into the sky the more cheap land will be availible for me to buy from their grieving relatives with the money I saved by not giving it them.

    Lord, I trust in your infinite wisdom and holy judgement that you will reign massive death down upon the people dumb enough to live in a place that gets obliterated by storms. Please develop a couple of more whoppers and play "holy bowling" with the panhandle(and maybe even Texas).

    I ask this in Jesus name, amen.
    Last edited by PeedeeShaolin; 16th September 04 at 12:23 PM.

  2. #2
    Chupacabra
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  3. #3
    WhiteShark
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    Hey maybe if the government wasn't taking so fucking much money they could save some?

  4. #4
    Chupacabra
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    Originally posted by WhiteShark
    Hey maybe if the government wasn't taking so fucking much money they could save some?

    vote republican

  5. #5
    PeedeeShaolin
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    That other storm is comin'.

    Jesus is listening to PeedeeShaolin with a bloodthirsty grin on his holy face.

  6. #6
    FighterJones
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    I don't know wheater your being sarcastic or bitter.

  7. #7
    Senior Member mikus's Avatar
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    Best post EVA!
    You want some birth control? You can smoke a cigarette.

  8. #8
    Skinnyweight SunTzu's Avatar
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    How is it bitter to not want people to take your money? He wants people to be responsible for their own shit and not expect a bail-out and that makes him bitter? Please. If you live in Florida, you know goddamn well there's a hurricane coming along eventually. It's not like they're in Colorado. If they can't afford to rebuild after a hurricane they need to move someplace where they won't have to.

  9. #9
    Registered Member cafezinho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hurricane Ivan wisses out and kills 8; a small prayer to Jesus

    Originally posted by PeedeeShaolin
    So here comes this hurricane and I'm thinking I'll have at LEAST 20 deaths to laugh over by this morning but noooooo, this pussy ass storm comes strolling in and kills only 8 people. That means only 8 people have been prevented from BEGGING for my fucking tax dollars to pay for their grief.
    That's why we pay taxes. Better to spend some rebuilding a man's house than murdering children from afar with large bombs in some arabic country thousands of miles away.
    Last edited by cafezinho; 16th September 04 at 10:09 PM.

  10. #10
    Zendetta
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    Jeez, PeeDee, wake up on the wrong side of the futon this morning, or is Ms. PeeDee having one of her "moods"?

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