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Thread: I'm knackered today.... bloody terrorists!

  1. #1
    Jonny
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    Default I'm knackered today.... bloody terrorists!

    Last night I decided on taking a relatively early night for a change. About 1am, I was just finishing checking the forums when I heard a commotion outside. There was a bit of shouting and some glass breaking. Fair enough, it's just people coming home from the pub. Then there was some banging and cracking noises. Okay, so they're letting off fireworks, inconsiderate bastards. Then I noticed a nasty burning smell and some blue flashing lights. I went over to close my window, and discovered that my quiet street, had been replaced by thick clouds of black smoke. I went to investigate.

    Looking out the front door I saw a burning car, surrounded by firemen who were struggling to dowse the flames. Fuck, my car's on fire! I looked the other way up the street, and saw my car sitting safely where I'd parked it (I'd forgotten that I'd had to park in a different spot because of some roadworks). Oh, someone else's car is on fire! The nice, old, nosey lady from next door came out and explained the situation.

    Apparently the young woman whose car was on fire has been having some trouble recently. She's a different religion from most people round here, and the local terrorists have been trying to drive her out of the area. Last week they threw a paint bomb at her house. She cleaned up the mess and declared that she was staying put. Then they tried a petrol bomb.... same results. Now they'd torched her car. I reckoned that there must be more to it than that, surely it would take more than religious bigotry to engender that sort of hatred? Then again.... probably not. Terrorizing a young single mother is about the normal level for the local paramilitaries. The fire brigade eventually got the fire under control, so I went back in for bed.

    I was just dozing off when I heard voices out the back of the house, and someone banging on a door. Okay, so the nice, old, nosey lady from next door's son has forgotton his key. I dozed off again, only to be woken by more talking and door banging. I wish she'd get up and let him in. This continued for a while, though by now he was banging doors right up and down our terrace. He's not coming in here! Eventually the noise beat my laziness and I decided it was time to close my bedroom window. I looked out and saw the nice, old, nosey lady from next door and several other neighbours. "Jonny, you've got to get out of the house, there's a suspected bomb at the young single mother of different religion's house. The police say that every body has to go out their back door and stay outside." Oh, for fuck's sake!

    So I got dressed again grabbed my smokes, keys and phone, and headed out the back. You often hear on the news over here, of people being evacuated from their houses because of bomb scares. I always wondered where the refugees went. Now I know, they stand around the back of their houses and wait for something to happen.

    Quite a few of the neighbours were hanging around outside, but a quite a few couldn't (or wouldn't) be raised from their beds, and were missing all the fun. I chatted with the neighbours for a while, and then walked to end of the terrace to see if I could find out what was happening. An angry policeman shouted at me to get back behind the houses. So I went back to standing around and talking to the neighbours. The good old blitz spirit started to take effect, and soon people were laughing and knocking back beer. There was even talk of lighting a barbeque.

    After about an hour I heard a heavy vehicle rumbling up the street and went for a look. It was the bomb disposal tank thing. Eventually the Johnny-5-looking robot was dispatched up the street to deal with the bomb. He didn't seem too steady as he whizzed up the road, I hoped he wouldn't hit my car.

    After another long wait, there was the loud bang of a controlled explosion. This brought out a few more neighbours who had missed the previous warnings. After a couple of minutes I went back into the house and sneeked a look out the front. Johnny-5 was standing in the young single mother of different religion's garden, and a few policemen were poking around the charred remains of the car. I took this as a sign that everything was over, bid goodnight (good morning I suppose) to the neighbours and went back to bed. It was now 5:30am.

    So thanks to the bloody terrorists I'm knackered today. I'm glad my son was staying at his gran's house last night (though he probably would have enjoyed the event). At least I got to meet my neighbours at last, I've been living here for nearly a year.

    Jonny

  2. #2
    LLL
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    Just wait for USA to invade Northern Ireland, that'll solve it all.





    ;)

  3. #3
    The_Ghost
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    Dude, that's so fucking stupid. Let's make the single mother of a different religion get terrorized because we don't like it.

    Ah the christian religion (Because this is either Catholic/Protestant issue) shows its brilliance once again.

  4. #4
    Registered Member Ippatsu182's Avatar
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    I'm glad that doesn't happen over here. Talk about ridiculous.

  5. #5
    Senior Member J-kid's Avatar
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    Damn...
    Once a fighter, Always a fighter. Shawn
    -Styles i train in-
    Judo
    Bjj
    Mtkickboxing
    Western boxing
    Wrestling

  6. #6
    Senior Member Freddy's Avatar
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    Thats ridiculus is right.
    We got to get rid of religion. All of it. I mean it! :D
    Ghost of Charles Dickens

  7. #7
    Doritosaurus Chex
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    Doesn't even have to be the Christian religion. All fundies of all religions are all the same.

  8. #8


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    wow that is nuts.....
    Have you viddied the horrorshow Martial Arts and Fight Videos and Clips forum yet?

    ironhill - If this is in the wrong forum please flame the shit out of me.

  9. #9
    SamHarber
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    It may be nuts, but thats how it is.
    I've several friends from NI who decided to stay in England after Uni because they just don't have to put up with that shit.

  10. #10
    Registered Member altlat's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Freddy
    Thats ridiculus is right.
    We got to get rid of religion. All of it. I mean it! :D
    Wouldn't matter, we'd find another reason to kill each other.

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