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Harpy
13th April 12, 12:47 AM
As some of you know I've battled with the idea of having kids for a few years and I have come full-circle (over the course of the last three years by gathering my own data) and realised these inner conflicts were truly because I think it is an illogical choice in the developed world. I don't need to repopulate to ensure the survival of humanity or the even stupider reason of 'replacing myself'.

It makes people uncomfortable that I'm married yet truly not under the yoke due to my childless status and I'm constantly asked when the happy day will come. I'm also repeatedly told by parents how rewarding it is in a quietly desperate way as little Tommy, Lara and Antoine eat mudpies in the garden. Good for you if you have kids but please don't try to sell the concept to me. Three of this multitude have given me a different truth and the courage and sense to walk the path less taken (NoB I salute you).

http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/

I'm not going to pop out a baby to repress and redirect my dreams. I'm sure Toit will be along shortly to tell me my pre-emptive pre-pregnancy abortion is doing the world a favour but I finally am moving forward and liberating myself from my womb.

Just thought I'd share that with the world! Time to consider a cat but I don't want my sofa damaged.

nihilist
13th April 12, 01:23 AM
You're really turning me on right now.

Harpy
13th April 12, 01:54 AM
Waiting for the hammer to drop....

Cullion
13th April 12, 02:46 AM
I think you'd probably just feel differently about having the right man's children.

Harpy
13th April 12, 02:53 AM
I'm permanently circumventing any biological imperative to reproduce that may overcome me if I meet Major Nelson. I feel free!

Cullion
13th April 12, 02:55 AM
What dreams do you now feel free to pursue ?

nihilist
13th April 12, 05:00 AM
1. Crone
2. old maid
3. midwife
4. astrophysicist

Harpy
13th April 12, 05:13 AM
5. MAN

nihilist
13th April 12, 05:17 AM
5. MANSERVANT

Harpy
13th April 12, 05:50 AM
Cull - I'd love for you to answer your own question. I mean that genuinely, I'm curious (no Toit, not bi-curious).

Spade: The Real Snake
13th April 12, 11:05 AM
so no lasagne marks?

Cullion
13th April 12, 12:01 PM
Cull - I'd love for you to answer your own question. I mean that genuinely, I'm curious (no Toit, not bi-curious).

If I did not have children at the moment I would certainly consider moving closer to the London job market. I'm constrained from emigrating for other reasons. I don't feel that having children stops me from any of the hobbies or part time study I'm interested in.

Feryk
13th April 12, 12:37 PM
Having kids has been the right choice for me, but if you aren't committed, for God's sake don't have them.

The world has enough shitty parents.

Are you getting your plumbing removed? Is that what you are referring to?

Harpy
13th April 12, 03:50 PM
Feryk - I definitely acknowledge what committed, loving parents most of the Sociociders are and that is a wonderful thing to behold. As for your question, I'm educated and rational enough to not require surgical intervention (I was watching the Brit program 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' and was horrified at the number of teen mothers on the show).

Cull - again it's good to hear you've made it work for all involved. There are a couple of things I'd like to give a concerted attempt that trying to conceive, being pregnant, recovering from childbirth and caring for a baby, juggling career/studies would cut a minimum of 2-3 years from my window of opportunity.

Cullion
13th April 12, 04:01 PM
Lily, no trolling; It's really nobody else's business whether you have kids or not. You have years left to decide about having your own biological children and will still be able to adopt after that if your feelings change.

nihilist
13th April 12, 04:20 PM
Lily if you want to enjoy kids temporarily then do what NoB does.
Borrow one or two from the Jr. high for a few hours.

SoulMechanic
13th April 12, 04:39 PM
I am really happy for you lilz. You would have made a terrible mother anyhow. but you will make one amazing cat lady.

Feryk
13th April 12, 04:44 PM
Lily,

you just need to get rich enough to have someone else do all the parenting. Hell, with enough money, all you'd need to do is have someone harvest your egg, fertilize it in a test tube, and implant it into one of those teenage mothers you saw. Once baby is born, off to the nannny.

See? Having kids is easy!

SoulMechanic
13th April 12, 04:51 PM
One time I banged this chick my lesbian friend introduced me to. I found out the next day that she has had like 4 kids for lesbo couples. I was shocked. She had no stretch marks and her cooter had the kung fu grip.

Harpy
13th April 12, 05:24 PM
Are you sure of your facts Mecha (that she'd been a surrogate 4 times)? Thanks for the cat
lady vote of confidence :)

I just cannot see why a rational adult would ask for more work and invest themselves in at least 18 years of another human being's life. I like my 6 hour movie marathons in bed with nothing but a tub of ice cream.

Cullion
13th April 12, 05:45 PM
I just cannot see why a rational adult would ask for more work and invest themselves in at least 18 years of another human being's life.

Does that mean you're going to stop being an employee after 18 years ? ;)


I like my 6 hour movie marathons in bed with nothing but a tub of ice cream.

Parents aren't so pushed for time that they never get to take 6 hours out for a movie or a meal. Well, not unless they're flat broke and single or lumbered with a completely unsupportive partner. Think of your own childhood: You weren't actually in your parents' presence requiring their supervision 24 hour hours a day, 365 days a year right up to your 18th birthday. At least, I hope not.

nihilist
13th April 12, 06:02 PM
With all those excess eggs lilz, I hope you're a lacto-ovo veg.

Harpy
13th April 12, 06:16 PM
Cull - I love that you never close off options and think broadly. I know there are many couples and single parents who make it work as best they can. My parents lived it up because they were wealthy and I spent more of my childhood with my nanny and the house staff
and I recognise it's not something I want nor have the means to do. I haven't shut down the idea of adoption but that is a long way off.

I think many of the mothers whose partners post here might reveal something different to me in private...the good as well as the frustrations.

I usually feel the need to precede statements with "I love kids but..." however I no longer feel the need as I've accepted that I do not have to have biological children to feel/complete myself and would rather put excess funds towards children in need.

Harpy
13th April 12, 06:19 PM
With all those excess eggs lilz, I hope you're a lacto-ovo veg.I'll bake you a cake for my Childfree Party. Eggs suppliedby yours truly.

nihilist
13th April 12, 07:35 PM
I like them poached with the yolk still runny.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th April 12, 09:46 PM
Sarah Palin has an offer for you!!

SoulMechanic
14th April 12, 02:55 AM
I think all this bullshit talk is lilys way or telling us she takes it in the butt. No wonder you and NoB are suck kindred spirits.

Harpy
14th April 12, 04:56 AM
Suck (sic) kindred all the way!

Cullion
14th April 12, 04:57 AM
I think many of the mothers whose partners post here might reveal something different to me in private...the good as well as the frustrations.

If a woman lives in a relatively traditional domestic setup where the child's father lives with her but is out at work acting as breadwinner, then the greatest frustration is a sense of being isolated from other adults, especially if the couple live a long way from close relatives who might be willing to help out with childcare. The biggest helps are having a partner who is willing to stay home to do childcare and let her go out with her friends at short notice, and getting back into the adult world through return to work.

Having children does not have to involve putting on handcuffs, cutting off contact with all of your friends and abandoning all hobbies.

Harpy
14th April 12, 06:31 AM
Cull - I could make it work and I'm a great organizer but I just don't want to add a child to the mix as I know I won't have a partner who supports me despite my sacrifice to have a child for his sake. I've had years to consider it and realise I romanticized parenthood as I was fed all the insidious marketing and messaging. My health, financial and personal independence, time, sleep, quality of relationships with family and friends, ability to travel without worrying about kids, and the pursuit of certain things I had set aside for a time (as I seriously contemplated taking one for the team), is what gives me a deep contentment.Children are lovely and I have access to a bevy of nieces and nephews I can spoil and love.

Cullion
14th April 12, 07:34 AM
Cull - I could make it work and I'm a great organizer but I just don't want to add a child to the mix as I know I won't have a partner who supports me despite my sacrifice to have a child for his sake.

I cannot help but think that this is the real issue here. You just don't want this guy's children.

Lebell
14th April 12, 07:34 AM
I think you'd probably just feel differently about having the right man's children.

THIS LIly...THIS.

wanna skype?

Spade: The Real Snake
14th April 12, 08:07 AM
THIS LIly...THIS.

wanna skype?
she doesn't want an offspring that looks like an underdeveloped dinosaur

Harpy
14th April 12, 03:17 PM
Cull - you'd be surprised. This is something I've chosen and is not laden with strong emotion. In a way, I have him to thank for this revelation within myself. It is absolutely no loss to the planet that I do not spawn another human being.

I think you feel I'm going to miss out on a valuable experience?

Lebell - you'd be a terrible father and dropping a baby from that height could be fatal.

Harpy
14th April 12, 03:20 PM
http://www.childfree.net/websites.html

Cullion
14th April 12, 03:31 PM
Cull - you'd be surprised. This is something I've chosen and is not laden with strong emotion. In a way, I have him to thank for this revelation within myself. It is absolutely no loss to the planet that I do not spawn another human being.

I think you feel I'm going to miss out on a valuable experience?

It is my, perhaps quite unreasonable, hunch that you've made this decision based on marital problems which you've sublimated and rationalised and that once you're biologically too old to change tack you may deeply regret the decision. I don't think that everybody in the world needs to have children to be a real adult, but in your case I came to the conclusion I did because I feel you drop a lot of hints about what's really going on when you bring the subject up.

Sorry if that's rude, I'm not trying to troll you or mock you over this.

Harpy
14th April 12, 03:52 PM
Please say it as you see it :)

I'm part of the problem in that I was always all for adoption even from a young age (my parents adopted as well and are very supportive about it or being child-free). I look at women sometimes who tell me "I've always known I wanted children", know how many they want and co-ordinate pregnancies with their best friends and felt for a while that I had a defect so made myself consider it and even look at planning financially, checking out child care and hospital options but more and more realizing this is not what I want. You're absolutely right that a relationship can colour such decisions but it is not only mine that I looked at but hundreds of couples I know and it's scary how parents seem to also rationalize their staying in a marriage for their childrens' sake, I will not go down that path and I really don't think it would be different with another person.

Regrets are just our emotional attachment to an idea and if you want to be resilient in life you have a positive coping mechanism in place that let's you work through and then move on from such feelings.

Lebell
15th April 12, 04:20 AM
Lebell - you'd be a terrible father and dropping a baby from that height could be fatal.
I'm really good with children once I've succesfully ignored my first instinct to see em as a easy source of proteins.

They seem to like me.

Harpy
15th April 12, 05:28 AM
I hope you don't do a Cracky.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th April 12, 08:25 AM
They seem to like me.
of course they do.
kids love Big Bird

nihilist
15th April 12, 09:50 AM
I'm really good with children once I've succesfully ignored my first instinct to see em as a easy source of proteins.



They don't develop sperm till they reach puberty.

Feryk
16th April 12, 01:40 PM
....as I know I won't have a partner who supports me despite my sacrifice to have a child for his sake.

Who the what now?

Cullion
16th April 12, 01:44 PM
You missed the memo? Lily's husband is something of a disappointment.

Feryk
16th April 12, 01:46 PM
Explain, plz. If this is because HE can't handle children, but Lily actually wants them, then....

nothing good.

Cullion
16th April 12, 01:49 PM
No, I think he wants them and she doesn't..

a) right now but would maybe adopt later and..

b) doesn't think raising a child with him would be a great experience.

Feryk
16th April 12, 01:54 PM
I thought Mr. Lily was supposed to be a standup guy?

You make him sound like a limp noodle.

Cullion
16th April 12, 01:55 PM
Lily makes him sound like a limp noodle.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 02:01 PM
do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?

Feryk
16th April 12, 02:07 PM
What, you gonna go over and give Mr. Lily a spanking and tell him to smarten up?

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 02:15 PM
they call me Dr. Legsuncross

Feryk
16th April 12, 04:15 PM
Oh. You aim to be the Sperminator then?

Lebell
16th April 12, 04:31 PM
before it turns to dust.
I applaud Snake's decision to face his mortality and do the right thing.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 04:42 PM
before it turns to dust.
I applaud Snake's decision to face his mortality and do the right thing.
considering how most of your race were wiped out by that giant meteor, you speak from experience

Lebell
16th April 12, 04:48 PM
considering how most of your race were wiped out by that giant meteor, you speak from experience

I was one of the lucky ones.
Let me tell you, T-Rexes were grumpy motherfuckers.
But we'd be grumpy too if our arms were way too short to be able to masturbate.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 04:49 PM
I was one of the lucky ones.
Let me tell you, T-Rexes were grumpy motherfuckers.
But we'd be grumpy too if our arms were way too short to be able to masturbate.
but, like the good neighbor you are, you masturbated them to help pay off that cup of sugar you borrowed and couldn't repay.

Feryk
16th April 12, 04:57 PM
Dude, they were T-rexes. He did whatever they wanted, so long as they didn't eat him.

Lebell
16th April 12, 05:02 PM
but, like the good neighbor you are, you masturbated them to help pay off that cup of sugar you borrowed and couldn't repay.

You're being ignorant.
You dont know what it was like back then!

Harpy
16th April 12, 06:38 PM
Lily makes him sound like a limp noodle.Only certain aspects and from my perspective, there's always two sides to a story. I actually think he'd get on well with most of you.

I've also come to the realisation that humans were not meant to mate for life. We try to force ourselves into an idealized picture and I think that's why there's so much angst, divorce and unhappiness.

Lebell
16th April 12, 06:46 PM
I've also come to the realisation that humans were not meant to mate for life. .

Don't worry, I just wanna mate for like 5 minutes with you.
Maybe even three if you talk dirty while we mate.

nihilist
16th April 12, 09:28 PM
Don't worry Lils, it will only seem like one minute thirty.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 09:39 PM
Pretend you have the world's tallest, yet scrawniest, salmon attempting to spawn up your stream.

Harpy
16th April 12, 10:41 PM
Don't worry Lils, it will only seem like one minute thirty.I can scream convincingly for the other three and a half minutes but I fear it would turn Lebell on again.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th April 12, 10:46 PM
Lily fears Lebell's F5

Cullion
17th April 12, 02:21 AM
I actually think he'd get on well with most of you.

I see what you did there.

Lebell
17th April 12, 03:40 AM
my honest guess is that Lilai's husband is a giant pussy.
when she was younger she thought it was the sensible choice, but as most women do, she heads into her 30ies and she just craves the sorta caveman who can really hit that spot for her.
the frustration is at least 90% sexual in nature.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th April 12, 10:19 AM
and Lebell knows this as he has lost many women entering their 30s

Lebell
17th April 12, 10:25 AM
lolz.
you are so far off it's funny.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th April 12, 10:41 AM
that's OK, Lubby.

we just call you the fluffer.

Lebell
17th April 12, 12:08 PM
I used to have a gf who was a fluffer once.
you could tell.

SoulMechanic
17th April 12, 04:03 PM
I used to have a gf who was a fluffer once.
you could tell.

I once hooked up with this girl who worked at the San Diego Zoo. She told me that about 75% of her job revolved around playing with the male elephants cocks and jacking them off into big cum buckets. She once wanted me to lick some butterscotch off of her middle finger and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

nihilist
17th April 12, 04:13 PM
Pussy.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th April 12, 04:21 PM
There is a Dutchman wishing his mother worked at the zoo so he could have enjoyed "take your daughter to work day"

Harpy
17th April 12, 04:38 PM
Mecha - can you just make a whole thread about your ex-girlfriends. You are all kinds of screwed up attracting these sort of women but the stories are gold.

Feryk
17th April 12, 09:40 PM
Lily;

Of course your husband would get on well with us. Who wouldn't?!? We are awesome like that.

He'd just have to get used to sharing.

A lot.

Harpy
17th April 12, 09:42 PM
What I meant was that he can be wonderful and caring in one moment and an asshole the next. Just like you guys :)

Feryk
17th April 12, 09:47 PM
As I said, we are awesome. Besides, you love it. You know you do.

Lebell
18th April 12, 02:33 AM
Mecha - can you just make a whole thread about your ex-girlfriends. You are all kinds of screwed up attracting these sort of women but the stories are gold.

yesssss...do it!

SoulMechanic
18th April 12, 10:10 AM
Every thread I pay tribute to is an homage to the maidens of my misery.

SoulMechanic
18th April 12, 10:15 AM
Pussy.

I am pretty confident that her pussy was never tainted by the big leathery elephant cock. She did tell me that when she was on the rag the male elephants got so happy they would make funny sounds and any time she turned her head there was a trunk attached to her crotch. She said it fealt like a slime covered vacuum attachment from a shopvac attached to her vag. Oh how I laughed and laughed when she told me this.

Feryk
18th April 12, 11:46 AM
SM, you hang out with the best people.

Dr. Socially Liberal Fiscally Conservative Vermin
18th April 12, 11:47 AM
She said it fealt like a slime covered vacuum attachment from a shopvac attached to her vag.

You're not curious how she know this?

Spade: The Real Snake
18th April 12, 11:48 AM
he was using her for bucketsful of elephant jizz

Feryk
18th April 12, 11:52 AM
I'm guessing a male elephant is not going to be polite when it wants a sniff.

nihilist
18th April 12, 12:53 PM
Pics plz.
kthxbi

Feryk
18th April 12, 02:02 PM
Of what? SM's ex g/f jerking an elephant?

nihilist
18th April 12, 02:28 PM
You can't tell me you wouldn't at least take a peek.

Feryk
18th April 12, 02:48 PM
But I'd be ashamed.

Harpy
27th April 12, 05:34 PM
DO NOT try to help me, I need this woman-free anonymous space to vent,be scared, keep strong in my decision etcFeel free to keep talking about elephant girl though.Nooooooooo!Bloated facebroken capillariesmastitishaemorrhoidsepisiotomy (incision in perineum to mitigate vaginal tearing)hair lossbad skinacnebloated legsrandom dischargesbreast feeding Nazisloose stomach muscleshormonal imbalanceslooking uglier than normalhorrendous pain in various parts of your bodybigger feetblood everywhere*scream*I'm reading a book that's helping to keep me freaked the hell out. Best birth control ever.But the images won't go away!http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3498/4059531825_632bcc14e6.jpghttp://www.focusphotography.com/recent-weddings-and-portraits/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/family-113.jpghttp://fixr.wpmedia.s3.amazonaws.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/nursery9.jpg

NoBowie
27th April 12, 05:41 PM
Those pictures are staged. They don't reflect reality.

Reality contains much more random bodily fluids and chaos, messy hair, high volume communication, and much less smiling.

Cullion
27th April 12, 05:43 PM
Most of your pregnancy fears seem to focus on how you might not look so pretty.

But being pretty is really just nature's way of advertising your fertility. If you don't use it, you're going to lose it anyway.

Harpy
27th April 12, 05:44 PM
Thanks NoB. My post came out how I feel so it looks crazy.

Hey...your family pics with your siblings always look so idyllic.

NoBowie
27th April 12, 05:46 PM
Hey...your family pics with your siblings always look so idyllic.

Yes, you know how many takes it takes to get that idyllic look? Hours worth.

Spade: The Real Snake
27th April 12, 06:11 PM
I think lulxzy would look ravishing with a nice case of hemorrhoids and some lasagna line stretch marks


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Spade: The Real Snake
27th April 12, 06:11 PM
Oh, wait
She has them both already
Nevermind


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Cullion
27th April 12, 06:16 PM
Thanks NoB. My post came out how I feel so it looks crazy.

Hey...your family pics with your siblings always look so idyllic.

Psst.. Lily; you aren't talking to somebody who is calmly and gladly living with the choice not to have a family, you're talking to the fantasy persona/coping mechanism of somebody who had a huge family and then lost it.

We know, that you know (deep down), that no sane person would get reassurance from that.

SoulMechanic
27th April 12, 07:23 PM
lol

NoBowie
27th April 12, 07:49 PM
Psst.. Lily; you aren't talking to somebody who is calmly and gladly living with the choice not to have a family, you're talking to the fantasy persona/coping mechanism of somebody who had a huge family and then lost it.

We know, that you know (deep down), that no sane person would get reassurance from that.

I had a family for ten years.

So she can only get good advice from people who have families currently or do not? That is not sane.

Harpy
27th April 12, 10:58 PM
Most of your pregnancy fears seem to focus on how you might not look so pretty.

But being pretty is really just nature's way of advertising your fertility. If you don't use it, you're going to lose it anyway.You're not wrong.

I also think pain, enduring changes in body functionality, long term health issues and loss of identity and freedom to do as I choose with my body are deterrents. I must say the biological clock can be overwhelming and logic-blurring.

Men do not go through this and try to placate you not truly
understanding the horrors of child-bearing.

NoB - I was blind once but over the years I've come to appreciate the way you think and choose to live. Your opinion means something to me and I also see Cullion's perspective. I'm fighting my gender, my biological imperative, social/familial expectations and thus I find sanctuary here amongst you guys.

Cullion
28th April 12, 02:37 AM
You're not wrong.

I also think pain, enduring changes in body functionality, long term health issues

The pain is temporary, and you won't give it a thought afterwards when you're holding your new little one. Many female athletes find their cardiovascular endurance permanently improves once they've had a child, so much so that Chinese female athletes were being impregnated by their coaches simply to improve atheletic performance.


and loss of identity and freedom to do as I choose with my body are deterrents. I must say the biological clock can be overwhelming and logic-blurring.

Motherhood doesn't take away your identity, it completes it.



Men do not go through this and try to placate you not truly
understanding the horrors of child-bearing.

I understand it better than you do. I've sat next to a woman high as a kite on gas and anaesthetic and held her hand for hours whilst she pushed a baby out, twice. I've distracted her whilst the doctors looked for a tiny heart beat and couldn't find one. I've watched the the child with the stopped heart pulled out on the end of a suction cup then convulse and then miraculously come to life.

Don't try the 'men just don't understand' thing with me until you've done it yourself, kiddo.



NoB - I was blind once but over the years I've come to appreciate the way you think and choose to live. Your opinion means something to me and I also see Cullion's perspective. I'm fighting my gender, my biological imperative, social/familial expectations and thus I find sanctuary here amongst you guys.

NOB had absolutely no choice in what happened. He's managed to recover a good career and a pretty wife from massive upheaval, but at no point when he was still a father would have answered 'yes' to the question 'would you like us to take your children away to another country so that you can earn more money'.

Don't delude yourself, Lily.


I had a family for ten years.

So she can only get good advice from people who have families currently or do not? That is not sane.

No, I'm saying that when she listens to your advice she has to remember that you actually had a family and then lost it through no choice of your own. You don't represent the middle-class careerist who avoided having children and is satisfied with their choice that she wants you to be.

NoBowie
28th April 12, 02:54 AM
I wasn't satisfied with my life when I had four kids, I just lived it because it was the responsible thing to do.

If I could travel back in time to 1997 I wouldn't do things the same way.

I have lived both lives, I choose the latter.

Cullion
28th April 12, 03:00 AM
You didn't get a choice. Stop pretending you chose anything here.

nihilist
28th April 12, 03:03 AM
The pain is temporary, and you won't give it a thought afterwards when you're holding your new little one. Many female athletes find their cardiovascular endurance permanently improves once they've had a child, so much so that Chinese female athletes were being impregnated by their coaches simply to improve atheletic performance.



Motherhood doesn't take away your identity, it completes it.



I understand it better than you do. I've sat next to a woman high as a kite on gas and anaesthetic and held her hand for hours whilst she pushed a baby out, twice. I've distracted her whilst the doctors looked for a tiny heart beat and couldn't find one. I've watched the the child with the stopped heart pulled out on the end of a suction cup then convulse and then miraculously come to life.

Don't try the 'men just don't understand' thing with me until you've done it yourself, kiddo.



NOB had absolutely no choice in what happened. He's managed to recover a good career and a pretty wife from massive upheaval, but at no point when he was still a father would have answered 'yes' to the question 'would you like us to take your children away to another country so that you can earn more money'.

Don't delude yourself, Lily.



No, I'm saying that when she listens to your advice she has to remember that you actually had a family and then lost it through no choice of your own. You don't represent the middle-class careerist who avoided having children and is satisfied with their choice that she wants you to be.

Baby poop is green.

Cullion
28th April 12, 03:04 AM
Yes, but you don't have to eat it, Moleculo. That's a choice you made.

nihilist
28th April 12, 03:06 AM
Baby's screams sound like a lullaby.

NoBowie
28th April 12, 03:15 AM
Let me explain something. For some people, when their child is born, a fountain of devotion and unconditional love wells up inside of them.

The russian lesbian's husband is like that. He spends all of his free time away from work with his daughter. Holding her, teaching her, talking and singing to her, etc. One of the most devoted fathers I have ever seen. So much so, that the russian lesbian, who used to constantly bitch at him and threaten divorce has completely changed her feelings regarding him. He can do no wrong now. As long as he keeps this level of devotion, he is golden.

Other parents have these feelings, but to a lesser degree.

Still others care about their children, and feel a great responsibility to them, but have a nagging feeling somewhere in the back of their minds that parenthood was not for them. This was me. And I was stupid. I ignored that nagging feeling. Ignored it through 4 births.

I played with my kids, read them bedtime stories, etc, but I never lost the feeling of being in it for myself. When what I felt was a decent family interval had elapsed I left to do my own thing. And these were the times I looked forward to.

Of course there are further extremes. Why else would there be so many single parents in the world?

Once you have a child you are stuck. Lily shouldn't go in expecting some miraculous superpower of undying devotion to the nth degree. Not everyone gets that. And if she is having doubts now, she probably won't be one of the ones that gets it.

I am sure Lily would make a wonderful mother. I am not sure how happy she would be if she becomes one though.

Cullion
28th April 12, 03:35 AM
At the end of the day, you weren't the one to leave. And when they left, you wept.

NoBowie
28th April 12, 03:38 AM
I cried because someone moved my cheese (http://www.amazon.com/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0399144463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335602201&sr=8-1). Nothing more specific than that.

Cullion
28th April 12, 03:41 AM
They should use that book in rape counselling.

nihilist
28th April 12, 04:04 AM
Babies are like wonderful little petri dishes who can't wait to bring home new suprises!

Harpy
28th April 12, 04:42 AM
NoB - I wish I could hold you tight for a second in a hug.

Cull - what about women who can't have children? Are they incomplete? I'm getting long in the tooth and have a pile of baby books and even our second spare room was painted in a warm neutral in expectance of a child. Unfortunately my dear husband hasn't met my requirements for a stable father plus we have quite different value systems that we laughingly butt heads on but would become a nightmare with a child involved. I'm conflicted, write long lists of pros and cons, take all the experiences shared by all of you and those I know and after three years of soul searching it's crunch time in more ways than one.

NoB - just thinking on what you shared, do you think you suffered some sort of depression during your marriage?

Cullion
28th April 12, 04:50 AM
Cull - what about women who can't have children? Are they incomplete?

Do they feel incomplete?
They have answered that question for you. You will find the answer in the reproductive health industry's revenues when you total the amount spent on IVF and related healthcare.



I'm getting long in the tooth and have a pile of baby books and even our second spare room was painted in a warm neutral in expectance of a child. Unfortunately my dear husband hasn't met my requirements for a stable father plus we have quite different value systems that we laughingly butt heads on but would become a nightmare with a child involved.

See? It's not the baby, it's the husband.



I'm conflicted, write long lists of pros and cons, take all the experiences shared by all of you and those I know and after three years of soul searching it's crunch time in more ways than one.

Remind me how old you are again? You're about 30, right?

Lollius Urbicus
28th April 12, 05:10 AM
Cullion, I hope you're wearing a condom, what with all the mind fucking you're doing in here.

Lebell
28th April 12, 05:41 AM
Lily hasnt met me yet, when she does she is ready to give birth.
It's obvious im the perfect choice, but nobody tell her, let her figure it out by herself. ;-)

Harpy
28th April 12, 06:13 AM
Cullion mind-fucking is the best kind and I appreciate him all the more for that.

I'm 31 and my poor spouse is 36...I can't keep him dangling like this (especially if I have Lebell waiting on the sideline :P).

I don't truly believe the huge amounts of money spent by women trying to conceive is a true reflection of a self-aware individual. I do however agree with your inference that our bodies
serve some natural purpose including procreation and we cannot separate nor always rationalise the instincts to reproduce, select partners based on physiology and appropriateness as a mate.

I might as well put it out there as I've shared a bloody good portion of things. My spouse has given me 6-8 weeks to get pregnant. I'm still on the pill because I don't take ultimatums well at all, he is not cognisant of this fact.

Christ, I'm more honest with a bunch of Internet strangers. Yeah!!

Cullion
28th April 12, 06:45 AM
Leave him whilst you still have time to meet somebody else who you would feel comfortable having a child with. That guy wouldn't need to make ultimatums.

No, I'm not trolling or hitting on you.

billy sol hurok
28th April 12, 08:46 AM
My spouse has given me 6-8 weeks to get pregnant.

Or . . . ?

Cullion
28th April 12, 09:00 AM
Or he will just have to do it himself, and Lily will never hear the end of it.

NoBowie
28th April 12, 09:51 AM
6 - 8 weeks? Does he know how small the opportunity window is each month?

Aww Lily. I feel so bad for you. You must be stressed out. I need to give you a hug.

If I were you I would throw an ultimatum back at him to see how he feels. Tell him he has four weeks to get a vasectomy or you are gone.

Feryk
28th April 12, 12:05 PM
Jesus, the more Lily types, the more Cullion has her pegged bang on.

This is about being with the wrong man, not about being a mother.

Feryk
28th April 12, 12:08 PM
Oh, and NoB, 6-8 weeks is plenty of time for someone who has the right swimmers.

Hell, I knocked my wife up pretty much immediately when we started trying.

Cullion
28th April 12, 12:26 PM
Let's look at this from a more constructive angle.

Lily, what is it about your husband that makes you think he wouldn't be a suitable stable father, and how do your value systems differ?

nihilist
28th April 12, 12:40 PM
Remind me how old you are again? You're about 30, right?

That means that a fifty year old hag will be attending her daughter's graduation.

nihilist
28th April 12, 12:43 PM
Let's look at this from a more constructive angle.

Lily, what is it about your husband that makes you think he wouldn't open up the green diarrhea filled diaper six times a day, get up several times a night to quiet the screaming crotchspawn, and be the only one who touches the diseased creature and stay as far away from you as humanly possible?

nihilist
28th April 12, 12:49 PM
I have a question.

Who is going to pay for Lily Jr's bail?
What about college?
Who is going to teach her about her period?
And most importantly. who is going to take her to her abortion appointments?

Cullion
28th April 12, 12:49 PM
Remind me how old you are again? You're about 30, right?

Too old for uncle Molestulo, that's for sure

nihilist
28th April 12, 12:52 PM
Just for that, I'm not going to return your copy of
Grannies Gone Wild!

Cullion
28th April 12, 12:56 PM
To be honest I can replay it from memory whenever I shut my eyes.

Lebell
28th April 12, 01:14 PM
Leave him whilst you still have time to meet somebody else who you would feel comfortable having a child with. That guy wouldn't need to make ultimatums.

No, I'm not trolling or hitting on you.

Come date me Lily.
Listen to Cullion.
Together we will make a chocolate masterrace.

nihilist
28th April 12, 01:17 PM
The children most likely will only be as dark as an old dried up moccasin.

NoBowie
28th April 12, 01:19 PM
Oh, and NoB, 6-8 weeks is plenty of time for someone who has the right swimmers.

Hell, I knocked my wife up pretty much immediately when we started trying.

Yes, but in six weeks you really only have about 4 days where it can happen, although sperm can survive for up to 3 days inside of a woman.

But yes, I knocked up the ex 4 times without wanting to.

nihilist
28th April 12, 01:19 PM
Hopefully the offspring will be better looking.
http://i.imgur.com/POKdn.jpg?1

NoBowie
28th April 12, 01:21 PM
Hopefully the offspring will get Lily's genes over Lebell's.

nihilist
28th April 12, 01:21 PM
Yes, but in six weeks you really only have about 4 days where it can happen, although sperm can survive for up to 3 days inside of a woman.

But yes, I knocked up the ex 4 times without wanting to.

NEVER GO ASS TO VAGINA!

Feryk
28th April 12, 02:02 PM
Oh, and Lily, ultimatums are bullshit. From either side.

Spade: The Real Snake
28th April 12, 03:53 PM
At the end of the day, you weren't the one to leave. And when they left, you wept.
shouldn't you be saying this softly, yet resolutely, while gently rubbing his thigh in the steam room?

Cullion
28th April 12, 04:01 PM
Snake, that kind of came out of nowhere, but it does bring to mind a strategy for Lily.

Harpy
28th April 12, 04:39 PM
Cullion could change my mind because he's taken the time to listen and break down my anxieties.

Taut - you're not a hag at 50+ and you're keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Lebell
28th April 12, 05:09 PM
what about me, you filthy whore.

Harpy
28th April 12, 05:15 PM
You have constantly said you don't breed with mudpeople so I'm respecting your wishes dumbass.

OMG, is Holland really going to make it illegal for foreigners to drop in at coffee shops? I can imagine what a boorish, unsophisticated lot of tourists are going to think about that.

Lebell
28th April 12, 05:56 PM
You have constantly said you don't breed with mudpeople so I'm respecting your wishes dumbass.

I changed my mind.
I'm up for it if you are.


OMG, is Holland really going to make it illegal for foreigners to drop in at coffee shops? I can imagine what a boorish, unsophisticated lot of tourists are going to think about that.

nah it's an official gesture cos the germans, french and belgians are pissed off at us about our legal pot.
they already made plans to get around the rule, dont worry.
in the worst case scenario ill just buy it for you when you're here, you can stay in bed while i go out to get a spacecake breakfast.

<3

nihilist
29th April 12, 12:55 AM
100 reasons not to give birth to brats:

1. You will be happier and (http://yestochildfreedom.blogspot.com/2008/03/truth-about-childfreedom.html)less likely to suffer from depression (http://www.webmd.com/news/20060210/kids-often-depress-parents).
2. (Assuming you get married), you will have a happier marriage (http://yestochildfreedom.blogspot.com/2008/03/truth-about-childfreedom.html).
3. You will have the capacity and time for meaningful, engaged, quality adult relationships.
4. You will be able to save for a comfortable retirement.
5. You are more likely to be an engaged and involved aunt or uncle because you are not jaded and worn down by your own kids.
6. You can fully pursue and develop your career.
7. You can fully pursue your educational goals.
8. You can decorate your home as you wish with as many beautiful and/or breakable things as you wish and you will not have to child-proof your house.
9. Your house will be free of junky, plastic kindercrap.
10. Your spouse will get all the love and attention he/she deserves. You will come first in your spouse/partner's life.
11. Your pets will get all the love and attention they deserve.
12. You can eat whatever foods you wish at whatever time of the day you wish out in the open, whether it be a gourmet, exotic meal, or chocolate chip cookies.
13. You never have to yell, scold, correct or punish anyone (assuming your spouse and pets are well-behaved ;)
14. Your home will be a quiet and welcoming oasis, instead of a chaotic zoo.
15. Your identity will remain firmly intact.
16. You will enjoy personal privacy.
17. You will get a full night’s sleep every night.
18. You will have the time and energy to exercise regularly and take care of your health and appearance.
19. You will stay informed and engaged in current events and will remain an interesting conversationalist.
20. You will retain your attention span.
21. You will minimize your carbon footprint and do far less damage to the environment (http://www.livescience.com/environment/090803-children-carbon-footprint.html)than your childed peers.
22. You can be yourself (for better or worse) without worrying about having to be a good example.
23. You can live in whatever town or city you like without concerning yourself with quality of school districts, child-friendliness, etc.
24. You will be able to travel more frequently and your travels will not be limited to summer or school break times, or to kid-friendly destinations.
25. Speaking of vacations, you will be able to use your paid time off for vacations, instead of burning your days to take care of sick kids.
26. You can spend an entire weekend vegging on the couch in your pajamas if you choose.
27. You will maintain the capacity to be spontaneous – to do things spur of the moment, without complex planning or babysitter arrangements.
28. You can curse, swear, debate and vent freely in your home without worrying about censoring yourself.
29. You will never have to suffer the agony of childbirth.
30. You will be better able to retain your youthfulness and sex appeal because your body will not be ravaged by childbearing and a crappy diet (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/11/health/research/11diet.html?_r=2).
31. You can eat your meals in peace without having to continually jump up and down to serve people.
32. You can own whatever type of car you prefer – you are not limited to mini-vans, SUVs and other family-friendly gas-guzzlers.
33. You can live in whatever type of home you like. Spiral staircases, wooden stairs, sharp-edged countertops, a small backyard, busy street are not necessarily deal-breakers.
34. You can buy a much more affordable home because you won’t need many bedrooms and you won’t have to limit yourself to more expensive, uppercrusty-good-school-district-towns.
35. Your grocery bill will be at least half of that of a family with children.
36. Your utility bills will be much lower than a family with children.
37. Your gasoline expenses will be much lower than a family with children (fewer shopping trips and errands, no chauffeuring).
38. You will spend your weekend doing things you enjoy, instead of attending boring children’s soccer games and birthday parties, or playing chauffeur.
39. You will have the energy and interest to maintain an active, attentive and enjoyable sex life.
40. You will have the freedom to come and go at will – you will remain independent, self-determined and autonomous.
41. You will have plenty of down time if you desire - naps, reading, meditating, lounging, listening to music.
42. Your life will have a manageable and comfortable pace. You will not be harried and stressed out, running around like a headless chicken trying to do it all.
43. You will age more slowly and will have fewer wrinkles than your child-encumbered peers.
44. Every night can be “date night” if you want it to be.
45. Your life will be one of far fewer worries, compared to your childed peers.
46. You will have the time and energy to actively contribute to the community – volunteer work, civic involvement, etc.
47. You can watch whatever you like on television at any time without censoring and you can watch complete shows or movies without constant interruptions.
48. You will spend far less time and effort on housework than families with children (the time and effort you will save on laundry alone is substantial).
49. You will have the time, energy and money to pursue whatever hobbies and interests you like.
50. You will not be contributing to the world’s overpopulation crisis.
51. You will not add to the drain on environmental resources.
52. You will never go through morning sickness or post-partum depression.
53. You will never have to endure the loss of a child.
54. You will never have to endure the strain and upset of raising a diseased or disabled child.
55. You will never have to deal with raising a troubled child (drugs, pregnancy, STDs, delinquency, truancy, crime) and will never be saddled with raising grandchildren because your teen child gets pregnant (or gets someone pregnant).
56. You will have spending money and can actually spend it on yourself if you choose.
57. The physical intimacy you share with your partner/spouse will remain romantic and will never have to be planned, scheduled, forced or manipulated like a science experiment for the sake of getting pregnant.
58. You will never suffer from burnout from trying to obtain the “have-it-all” lifestyle.
59. Your life will continue to be flexible. You can change your mind and your plans at a moment's notice.
60. You will not have to change diapers, wipe snotty noses or all of the many other stomach-turning things a parent must do.
61. You will not have to endure crying, screaming, fighting, temper tantrums and other surly child behavior.
62. You will never have to fight with a child over homework or worse yet, have to sit and do homework with a child.
63. You will never have to attend PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences or other school-related drudgery.
64. You will not have to save thousands upon thousands of dollars for a child’s college education (or more importantly stress and worry about where the money will come from).
65. You never have to set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese.
66. You will never have endure endless hours of noisy, electronic toys shrieking through your house.
67. You can enjoy alone time when you need it.
68. You will be more easily able to escape a bad marriage (if you should need to) than if you had kids, without having to maintain ties with your ex.
69. You will not have to live the life of a hand-servant.
70. Assuming you get married, your marriage will be more egalitarian than it would be if you had children. You will not have to adhere to traditional gender roles.
71. You will never have to pay child support.
72. You and your spouse/partner can be intimate freely in your home without having to lock doors, muffle sounds or otherwise try to hide what you are doing.
73. You will never have to endure the sound of crappy teen pop music blaring through the house.
74. Holidays like Christmas can be affordable, manageable and relaxed if you choose.
75. You will never be disappointed on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day (unless you have unreasonable expectations of your pets).
76. You will never have to go on a “play date” and be stuck sitting with boring yuppy moms and dads you can't stand just so your kids can play with each other.
77. You can beautify your property with gardens, waterfalls, trees and other natural features instead of stripping it bare for a play area, or junking it up with swing sets, sporting equipment and toys.
78. Packing for vacations and day trips will remain a breeze.
79. Your vacations will actually be relaxing and you will come home rested and refreshed, instead of wiped out and in need of a second vacation.
80. If you have medical insurance and your employer requires you to contribute, your premiums will be much lower than they would if you had kids.
81. You will never have to be embarrassed by a child who is a bad representation of you.
82. You will never have to sit through sappy and annoying kiddie movies or t.v. shows.
83. You can have kid-time if you desire it by taking your nieces, nephews or friends’ children for an afternoon. And then when you’ve had enough, you can give them back and go back to your peaceful life.
84. You will never have to worry about whether you are a bad parent or the long-term psychological damage you are inflicting on a child.
85. Going out for an errand will entail hopping into your car, buckling your seatbelt and leaving instead of a full half hour production to get the kids dressed, fed, ready and situated in the car.
86. You will never have to pack and lug around huge bags of stuff every time you leave the house.
87. On long drives, you can listen to whatever music, radio programs or books on tape you enjoy - instead of grating kiddie music.
88. Your pets can roam freely in your house with no fear of being sat on, squeezed, poked, or having their ears, hair or tails pulled.
89. New Years Eve will continue to be a rockin' late night blow-out affair for you.
90. Your mornings will be quiet and relaxed, instead of a chaotic, beat-the-clock marathon having multiple people to corral, bathe, feed, dress and get out the door on time.
91. You will not have to pay thousands of dollars a year on child care, or burden your family members by using them as babysitters. You will never have to hire a babysitter.
92. Being aggravated, frustrated and irate at home will be a rare occurrence, as opposed to a daily occurrence if you had kids.
93. Your neighbors will appreciate living next door to you.
94. Your boss will appreciate having a reliable employee who works her full hours, calls out sick only rarely, can work overtime if needed, and take on special projects. You might even get a raise, or get promoted.
95. Your friends will appreciate your broad interests, your attentive listening and conversational skills, and the fact that you won't bore them to death talking endlessly about babies and childrearing.
96. You will rarely get sick.
97. You won't be last on your list of people to take care of.
98. You will never have to feel torn between your career and your family - feeling like you are spread too thin and not doing a great job at either.
99. You will set your own agenda.

and...last but not least:

100. You will not be tempted to eat the placenta.

Harpy
29th April 12, 01:19 AM
Marry me.

Lebell - you are too kind ( free drugs...that has to be love) but I wouldn't want to defile your führer's vision. Plus you have a young gazelle of a girlfriend, time to get married and have Aryan babies.

Lebell
29th April 12, 04:10 AM
Marry me.

Lebell - you are too kind ( free drugs...that has to be love) but I wouldn't want to defile your führer's vision. Plus you have a young gazelle of a girlfriend, time to get married and have Aryan babies.

she is slavic, so no dice with getting aryan babies.

Cullion
29th April 12, 04:38 AM
100 reasons not to give birth to brats:

Do you regret having children ?

Lebell
29th April 12, 04:43 AM
nah just seems that way.

I always make a deal with the woman when I decide to go bareback: whoever gets pregnant will be stuck with the kid.

billy sol hurok
29th April 12, 06:24 AM
Lebell - you are too kind ( free drugs...that has to be love)

First one's always free, kid.

Harpy
29th April 12, 06:34 AM
Saturday:6:30 wake up and leisurely get ready, have breakfast while watchingmorning tv8am head to uni9-1:15pm lectures, workshops, chatting with new group of friends1:15-2:30pm research at the library3:00 get home, have a relaxed lunch made from scratch, husband went out so have the place to myself. 15 minutes of light house work3:40pm read for pleasure4:15pm One hour run with time to stretch at my own pace and then hit the shower5:45pm go out with husband for a drive to grab a few things in town7pm husband has nap, I prepare dinner, shower then dress in my comfy pj's and bang away on the laptop on my research project8pm husband wakes up has a light meal and goes out to a friend's place (not before said friend's 3.5 year old son bolts in and we distract him with food, a present and some chocolate...I freak out when he puts his grimy hands on my couch).9pm put the books away and watch a DVD 10:30pm sleep for 8.5 hours in absolute peace Rinse and repeat with an afternoon nap on Sunday, time out to play some music, work out, visit my neighbours for a delightful chat. Home is a haven of peace and quiet.

Lebell
29th April 12, 07:50 AM
I'd shoot myself I if had to live your life...

NoBowie
29th April 12, 08:55 AM
Saturday:6:30 wake up and leisurely get ready, have breakfast while watchingmorning tv8am head to uni9-1:15pm lectures, workshops, chatting with new group of friends1:15-2:30pm research at the library3:00 get home, have a relaxed lunch made from scratch, husband went out so have the place to myself. 15 minutes of light house work3:40pm read for pleasure4:15pm One hour run with time to stretch at my own pace and then hit the shower5:45pm go out with husband for a drive to grab a few things in town7pm husband has nap, I prepare dinner, shower then dress in my comfy pj's and bang away on the laptop on my research project8pm husband wakes up has a light meal and goes out to a friend's place (not before said friend's 3.5 year old son bolts in and we distract him with food, a present and some chocolate...I freak out when he puts his grimy hands on my couch).9pm put the books away and watch a DVD 10:30pm sleep for 8.5 hours in absolute peace Rinse and repeat with an afternoon nap on Sunday, time out to play some music, work out, visit my neighbours for a delightful chat. Home is a haven of peace and quiet.

I love waking up early on Saturdays before the missus is up. Sounds like a perfect day to me.

Cullion
29th April 12, 09:17 AM
Saturday:6:30 wake up and leisurely get ready, have breakfast while watchingmorning tv8am head to uni9-1:15pm lectures, workshops, chatting with new group of friends1:15-2:30pm research at the library3:00 get home, have a relaxed lunch made from scratch, husband went out so have the place to myself. 15 minutes of light house work3:40pm read for pleasure4:15pm One hour run with time to stretch at my own pace and then hit the shower5:45pm go out with husband for a drive to grab a few things in town7pm husband has nap, I prepare dinner, shower then dress in my comfy pj's and bang away on the laptop on my research project8pm husband wakes up has a light meal and goes out to a friend's place (not before said friend's 3.5 year old son bolts in and we distract him with food, a present and some chocolate...I freak out when he puts his grimy hands on my couch).9pm put the books away and watch a DVD 10:30pm sleep for 8.5 hours in absolute peace Rinse and repeat with an afternoon nap on Sunday, time out to play some music, work out, visit my neighbours for a delightful chat. Home is a haven of peace and quiet.

My Saturday

8am, wake up. Son is quietly playing with lego. Daughter knocks on door and asks if I would like some eggs (she can cook now, is very proud of it and wants to show it off at every opportunity. She's 10). I thank her and get dressed. My wife goes out into the garden with a cup of coffee to potter around her plants.

9.45 am Take daughter to kickboxing sparring class

10am Shop for stuff to make lunch. Get a coffee and some carrot cake and read the paper for 30 minutes.

11am collect daughter from kickboxing class. I watch her last sparring bout, then give her a few bits of basic advice. Come home and put shopping away.

11.15-12 Play mario kart with 6 year old son. he wins.
noon make lunch. son and daughter watch whilst I explain what I'm doing and why with each ingredient. get them to try raw vegetables and smell herbs to see if they can identify them by scent.

1pm-3.30 children play in the street on bikes with other kids in the neighbourhood. I do the Tai Chi form, read, look at sociocide and periodically check on a graph showing the how many people are using a piece of software I'm responsible for.

4pm take both kids with me to the supermarket to buy ingredients for dinner. They get to choose what to eat and pick the ingredients. We end up getting a free range chicken and some vegetables to cook in a pot, to serve over basmati rice steamed with bay leaf. Wife is in newly converted attic room tidying it up and deciding how to decorate it.

5pm get home, put chicken in the pot. Play a game of blokus with kids, then they go off to read and play with lego. I read sociocide until it's time to cook the rice.

7pm-8.30 Play star wars monopoly with the kids and then send them off to bed. Read sociocide, drink tea, read and eat nuts and fruit until bed time.

AAAAAA
29th April 12, 09:28 AM
Neither of you mentioned interaction with your spouse, how's that?

Cullion
29th April 12, 09:42 AM
It's not the subject of the thread. I can't see the point of chronicling every 'would you like a cup of tea, dear?' and 'shall we go to see this at the theatre next month'. And the intimate parts are none of your business.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 10:41 AM
Both yesterday and this morning I was awaken to the sounds of Dynasty Warriors 7


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Dr. Socially Liberal Fiscally Conservative Vermin
29th April 12, 10:41 AM
Back on the coffee Cullion?

Cullion
29th April 12, 10:42 AM
yes.

Lebell
29th April 12, 10:42 AM
ok now my average saturday.

8.30-9ish I wake up.
My penis is still a bit sore from the long sexytiemz sessions of the night before.

My 11 year younger gf just came outta the shower and is changing in her clothes in front of me...HAWT.
' Dobre rano, I'll make you coffee yesh?'
:-)

So I'm having coffee and then we talk about what we are going to make for food in the evening (during weekends we always cook together)
Around lunchtime she goes away to do stuff like shopping or seeing her friend, and im wtfpawning some nabs with my Tiger II tank in world of tanks.
After some epic pawning and trolling I switch the game off and start translating crap, and study a bit.
I check sociocide every now and then.

Round 6ish the gf comes back with groceries and l;ike a good little bitch I start to cook, or do whatever my job is that specific occasion.

Then after food we watch some arthouse/intellectual crap or just bang throughout the evening.

Lebell
29th April 12, 10:43 AM
Neither of you mentioned interaction with your spouse, how's that?

^^^ THIS..

nihilist
29th April 12, 11:45 AM
Do you regret having children ?

My ex decided on her own that she was going to give birth.

I made the best of it.

Lebell
29th April 12, 11:48 AM
WHO MADE HER PREGNANT, YOU OBVIOUSLY LACK THE BALLS FOR IT.
AMIRITE?

HAI FAIV!

Cullion
29th April 12, 12:00 PM
Do you still have contact with your child(ren) now ?

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 12:25 PM
My ex decided on her own that she was going to give birth.

I made the best of it.

Wait
Isn't your kid roughly the same age as Lebell?

Its all becoming clear, now


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

nihilist
29th April 12, 12:34 PM
Do you still have contact with your child(ren) now ?

He's as independent as I am.

I talk to him on the phone occasionally.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 12:54 PM
Does he say "vierd", often?


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

nihilist
29th April 12, 02:12 PM
Yes.
He also calls me 'fazsha'
I'm not kidding.

Adouglasmhor
29th April 12, 02:24 PM
First one's always free, kid.


I've been ripped off - who do I complain to?

FickleFingerOfFate
29th April 12, 03:28 PM
I've been ripped off - who do I complain to?


Helen Waite.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 04:12 PM
How soon until Lulxzy gets a super short haircut and starts listening to the Indigo Girls


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Harpy
29th April 12, 04:30 PM
Cull - weekdays getting them ready for school, organising pick ups, uniforms, lunches, what if one is sick...that would be a different schedule.Lebell - our weekends are damn similar except you game and I do other stuff.

Cullion
29th April 12, 04:52 PM
Cull - weekdays getting them ready for school

'Come on kids get ready it's time for school'. They then get themselves ready. It doesn't take long to prepare a basic breakfast of toast, eggs and fruit. My daughter is perfectly capable of preparing that herself if I ask her to.

The toddler phase where they're mobile enough to get themselves into danger but too immature to dress and bathe themselves is hard work, but it doesn't last that long.


organising pick ups

My wife doesn't need to work full time. Picking the children up from school is a 20 minute job. My daughter will soon be walking to and from school by herself.


uniforms

Not that expensive.


lunches, what if one is sick...that would be a different schedule.

Yes, being a parent does involve looking after sick children occasionally. It's not effortless.

Harpy
29th April 12, 05:00 PM
I like that you're calm and collected and your children sound like they have been raised very well (and to be honest, the majority of kids I know are). I'm already a very organised person so I don't think it's the day to day schedule that would be tough.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 05:02 PM
Why is it that you are/were perfectly fine adopting a child but your husband is resistant to this and insists on his own spawn? Is it that he wants kids or only wants *his* kids.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 05:10 PM
And until you have had a child vomit on you, you haven't really lived.

I remember one time, when the boy was three, I got home from work on Monday and we were looking forward to watching the reboot of Battlestar Galatica. He came running up to me, all excited, stopped and vomited all over the carpet. He spent the rest of the night sick which meant he wanted to be held.

He vomited on me three times during the evening and we all slept on an Aerobed in the living room.

He started getting better and seemed fine by the weekend. The next Monday, I got home from work and he ran up, excited to see me, and proceeded to vomit in almost the exact same spot.

Harpy
29th April 12, 05:25 PM
Part of me just feels I want to do this on my own *if* I decide to (thus adoption vs. blood tie through a partner).

However I'm also on board that list Reese posted. There's too much I want to do...currently deciding between a holiday in North Africa or Peru. I want to take a work posting overseas in the next 18 months as well. Plus I've just started MA again :/

Harpy
29th April 12, 05:33 PM
How soon until Lulxzy gets a super short haircut and starts listening to the Indigo Girls

Sent by telekinesis via CerebroWould you like that? The music seems terrible.

nihilist
29th April 12, 09:03 PM
Why is it that you are/were perfectly fine adopting a child but your husband is resistant to this and insists on his own spawn? Is it that he wants kids or only wants *his* kids.

Her rationale is that it won't seem so wrong when she sexually abuses the adopted kids.
He is just the opposite.

Spade: The Real Snake
29th April 12, 09:08 PM
Her rationale is that it won't seem so wrong when she sexually abuses the adopted kids.
He is just the opposite.

You are assuming it will be a boy


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Harpy
29th April 12, 09:57 PM
I see corolary has made sock puppets of you both.

nihilist
29th April 12, 11:52 PM
Your husband could have a baby with a surrogate and then you could adopt it and get your freak on.

Harpy
30th April 12, 12:23 AM
So you're your father's surrogate and then you had a child with your mum?

Your name change (a.k.a. reliving your youth is apt).

SoulMechanic
30th April 12, 02:08 AM
Last time Reese talked about his son he said the same "he is strongly independent" shit. Also mentioned his kid being a pot head and playing video games....is your son gay and in fashion school??

Harpy
30th April 12, 02:19 AM
It'd be nice if we don't attack posters via their children.

Lebell
30th April 12, 03:07 AM
He vomited on me three times during the evening and we all slept on an Aerobed in the living room.


Wait...werent you the guy with the moor your houseboat at mcdonalds for wifi guy?
lolz....aerobed...livingroom?

hahahaha you just made my day..

Lebell
30th April 12, 03:09 AM
There's too much I want to do...currently deciding between a holiday in North Africa or Peru. I want to take a work posting overseas in the next 18 months as well. Plus I've just started MA again :/

oh god....make sure you have a talk with me before you do stupid shit.
I can save you lots of money and grief by telling you what not to do and what organisations to avoid.

Cullion
30th April 12, 04:16 AM
Part of me just feels I want to do this on my own *if* I decide to (thus adoption vs. blood tie through a partner).

However I'm also on board that list Reese posted. There's too much I want to do...currently deciding between a holiday in North Africa or Peru. I want to take a work posting overseas in the next 18 months as well. Plus I've just started MA again :/

People take children overseas with them. I have 2 children and train more consistently in MA than you do. These are not good excuses.

Lebell
30th April 12, 05:42 AM
im with cullion on this.

billy sol hurok
30th April 12, 06:15 AM
Last time Reese talked about his son he said the same "he is strongly independent" shit. Also mentioned his kid being a pot head and playing video games....is your son gay and in fashion school??
8469

Spade: The Real Snake
30th April 12, 10:06 AM
lolz....aerobed...livingroom?

hahahaha you just made my day..
Dreaming of one day having a living room, are you?

Spade: The Real Snake
30th April 12, 10:06 AM
Last time Reese talked about his son he said the same "he is strongly independent" shit. Also mentioned his kid being a pot head and playing video games....is your son gay and in fashion school??
Which son are you:

the pothead gamer or the fashonista flamer?

Lebell
30th April 12, 12:38 PM
Dreaming of one day having a living room, are you?

shut yer yap, trailertrash.

SoulMechanic
30th April 12, 12:53 PM
Wait...werent you the guy with the moor your houseboat at mcdonalds for wifi guy?



LoL..... you're still not over that shit, are you?

Spade: The Real Snake
30th April 12, 12:54 PM
shut yer yap, trailertrash.
unlike your residence, mine isn't mobile

Lebell
30th April 12, 02:25 PM
unlike your residence, mine isn't mobile

my house is made from concrete and brick, and yours?
dont most americans live in shitty wooden houses?

Spade: The Real Snake
30th April 12, 03:08 PM
No.
We all live in trailers with tires on the roof, so we don't get carried away by a tornader, 'member?

Harpy
30th April 12, 11:29 PM
People take children overseas with them. I have 2 children and train more consistently in MA than you do. These are not good excuses.I can't train MA while trying to conceive, the 9 months of pregnancy and I'd say 6-12 months after that at a minimum. Physiological concerns I guess as well as beyond that considering one's safety now there is a child who relies on you.

As for travelling and working, it would be in developing nations and I need to do my research on health insurance and medical facilities before going myself let alone adding pregnancy and delivery to the mix.

I actually see just how selfish and closed to possibilities I am reading through this thread and I'm making a lot of excuses but not willing (or knowing) what's got to change.

Plus there's the whole bit about a baby exploding out of you.

nihilist
30th April 12, 11:48 PM
Lily:

1. Get preginificated.
2. Get stretch marks.
3. Scream while passing the little clot.
4. Chronicle the whole debaucle on video.
5. Send afforementioned video to Cullion so he can 'finish'.
kthxbi

Harpy
1st May 12, 12:18 AM
You could at least not diminish motherhood in such a way Kindy.

nihilist
1st May 12, 12:25 AM
In what way should I diminish it then?

Harpy
1st May 12, 12:33 AM
Smart ass.

I'm starting to understand why women steal babies out of pregnant people with a machete. Way easier than childbirth.

Cullion
1st May 12, 03:03 AM
I can't train MA while trying to conceive

Don't be silly.



the 9 months of pregnancy

Okay, I'll grant you a pass on this one.



and I'd say 6-12 months after that at a minimum. Physiological concerns I guess as well as beyond that considering one's safety now there is a child who relies on you.

No, don't be silly.



As for travelling and working, it would be in developing nations and I need to do my research on health insurance and medical facilities before going myself let alone adding pregnancy and delivery to the mix.

In Oxford I occasionally come across people who either work for Oxfam, or whose parents worked for Oxfam. People from the first world seem to be perfectly capable of raising a child in the poorer parts of Asia and Africa as long as the military/security situation is okay.



Plus there's the whole bit about a baby exploding out of you.

It's how you, and everybody you know, arrived into the world.

Lebell
1st May 12, 05:19 AM
it sounds to me, that the issue isnt so much whether lily wants a baby, the issue lies with the husband and lily's lack of balls to end it.

Cullion
1st May 12, 05:26 AM
I think 'So what is wrong with Lily's husband?' deserves a whole thread. Long overdue IMHO.

Harpy
1st May 12, 07:10 AM
Lebell is on the money compared to Cull here. I'm just using my husband as a scape-goat for my pseudo-half formed ideas (gleaned in an abstract manner mainly from reading too many Austen novels, too much herbal tea and having my oxygen cut off from being choked out too many times). You need to feel sorry for him.

Cullion
1st May 12, 07:29 AM
Lebell is on the money compared to Cull here. I'm just using my husband as a scape-goat for my pseudo-half formed ideas (gleaned in an abstract manner mainly from reading too many Austen novels, too much herbal tea and having my oxygen cut off from being choked out too many times). You need to feel sorry for him.


it sounds to me, that the issue isnt so much whether lily wants a baby, the issue lies with the husband and lily's lack of balls to end it.

Sounds like Lebell and I are pretty much in agreement.

billy sol hurok
1st May 12, 07:36 AM
I'm just using my husband as a scape-goat for my pseudo-half formed ideas (gleaned in an abstract manner mainly from reading too many Austen novels

^
MADAM OVARY tag plz.

Lebell
1st May 12, 07:40 AM
Lebell is on the money compared to Cull here. I'm just using my husband as a scape-goat for my pseudo-half formed ideas (gleaned in an abstract manner mainly from reading too many Austen novels, too much herbal tea and having my oxygen cut off from being choked out too many times). You need to feel sorry for him.

so.....when will you take the grand tour when you're in holland?

billy sol hurok
1st May 12, 09:35 AM
so.....when will you take the grand tour when you're in holland?

Your English is excellent, Lebell, but I think "around the world" (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Round%20the%20world) is the phrase you wanted.

nihilist
1st May 12, 10:45 AM
it sounds to me, that the issue isnt so much whether lily wants a baby, the issue lies with the husband and lily's lack of balls to end it.

If she had balls she could get pregnant by someone she loves.

Cullion
1st May 12, 10:49 AM
If she had balls she could get pregnant by someone she loves.

Somebody tall, and fair.

Lebell
1st May 12, 10:52 AM
If she had balls she could get pregnant by someone she loves.

That's the thing isnt it?
Love vs convenience.
Sounds to me Lily wants to convince herself her hubby challenges her, but the truth is, she is emotionally comfortable and part of her doesnt want to give that up to start all over again.

Feryk
1st May 12, 10:53 AM
I think the key to this is: somebody else.

Harpy
1st May 12, 03:24 PM
I am addicted to his hugs. I just don't want to traumatise my body and mind by raising a child.

Example: I got home from a day at work and uni at 8:30pm last night and I'm in a nice mood until he asks me a really stupid question revolving around food (he hadn't looked inside the fridge). I tell him he's annoying and mutter to myself. I'm starving but I need to wash the dishes, cook something for the next day, take a shower and 45 minutes later I'm able to sit down and have dinner and relax. An hour later we go to bed. Later we sleep.

Now add a baby to the mix and he'd realise that it would damn well ruin everything. Then it'd be too late to go back. Sometimes men need to be told what they want.

Harpy
1st May 12, 03:27 PM
I think the key to this is: somebody else.You do realise I don't believe at all it would be different with someone else unless...just unless they're much older and have no wish to have kids.

Cullion
1st May 12, 04:30 PM
I am addicted to his hugs. I just don't want to traumatise my body and mind by raising a child.

Example: I got home from a day at work and uni at 8:30pm last night and I'm in a nice mood until he asks me a really stupid question revolving around food (he hadn't looked inside the fridge). I tell him he's annoying and mutter to myself. I'm starving but I need to wash the dishes, cook something for the next day, take a shower and 45 minutes later I'm able to sit down and have dinner and relax. An hour later we go to bed. Later we sleep.

Now add a baby to the mix and he'd realise that it would damn well ruin everything. Then it'd be too late to go back. Sometimes men need to be told what they want.

In this example it sounds like you got home hours after your husband to find he hadn't lifted a finger around the house.

Maybe it's just the way it sounded.

Lebell
1st May 12, 04:37 PM
You do realise I don't believe at all it would be different with someone else unless...just unless they're much older and have no wish to have kids.

DEAR GOD YOU'RE IN DENIAL...

Harpy
1st May 12, 05:21 PM
Though with an older partner one would eventually have to change diapers.

Cull - he hadn't done too badly and was calmly having his dinner and had made me something (and he washed his own dishes). But that was 10% of what I did. If we had a baby in that picture i shudder to imagine the state things would be in and there'd be damn well no happy endings that night.

Harpy
1st May 12, 05:25 PM
I admit that I think I really want a mini-me (bio or adopted) but logic prevails so far. Trying not to be a hormone hostage.

Spade: The Real Snake
1st May 12, 06:11 PM
I hope you wind up with a Tobybaby


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Spade: The Real Snake
1st May 12, 06:11 PM
And his homosexual twin brother the lawyer


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Cullion
1st May 12, 06:30 PM
Cull - he hadn't done too badly and was calmly having his dinner and had made me something (and he washed his own dishes). But that was 10% of what I did. If we had a baby in that picture i shudder to imagine the state things would be in and there'd be damn well no happy endings that night.

He cooked, and made something for you then washed up his dishes. You then cooked something for the next day and washed dishes. Sounds like about 50/50. What else did you do ?

Are you one of those women who actually does about the same amount as her SO but MAKES A REALLY BIG DEAL ABOUT HOW MUCH WORK YOU HAVE TO DO AROUND THE HOUSE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW MEN ARE USELESS, or is there a big load of other stuff you haven't told us about ?

Harpy
1st May 12, 06:44 PM
I don't make a big deal of it and didn't want to bore you with the details of the chores I did. Some days his contribution is up at 30%. I don't actually believe there's a 50/50 and I operate at a whirlwind pace so more often than not I'll do something if I see it needs to be done. I'm no Martha Stewart and always choose quality time over housework so don't go assuming I'm some crazed housewife.

Harpy
1st May 12, 11:34 PM
I hope you wind up with a Tobybaby


Sent by telekinesis via CerebroI'd chop it's fingers off so when it grew up it would not be tempted to post on online forums and meet dirty old men like you and FFF.

Cullion
2nd May 12, 03:37 AM
I don't make a big deal of it and didn't want to bore you with the details of the chores I did. Some days his contribution is up at 30%. I don't actually believe there's a 50/50 and I operate at a whirlwind pace so more often than not I'll do something if I see it needs to be done. I'm no Martha Stewart and always choose quality time over housework so don't go assuming I'm some crazed housewife.

I want to see a list so that you and I can both be sure that you aren't a neurotic nag who imagines she's the one 'doing all the work'.

Lebell
2nd May 12, 04:01 AM
yeah lots of women suffer from this delusion.
also the myth that women have a way higher pain treshold.

nihilist
2nd May 12, 09:05 AM
yeah lots of women suffer from this delusion.
also the myth that women have a way higher pain treshold cuz just look at goatse.

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 10:22 AM
I'd chop it's fingers off so when it grew up it would not be tempted to post on online forums and meet dirty old men like you and FFF.
You dirty old scheming rapscallion.
You want to keep me all to yourself.
Well, you have my attention.

Feryk
2nd May 12, 02:44 PM
Lots of mixed messages here, Lily.

Good luck untangling the web of what you really want. Hopefully, you can figure it out before it's too late.

Cullion
2nd May 12, 03:16 PM
The prudent choice would be to get knocked up by her husband and another guy, as soon as possible, to cover all bases.

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 03:31 PM
The PRUDENT choice would be to get knocked up by the Adoption Agent.

Feryk
2nd May 12, 03:35 PM
The Prudent choice would be to have someone else bear her fertilized ovum until term.

The question is 'whom shall do the fertilizing?'

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 03:36 PM
Sociocide Roulette

Feryk
2nd May 12, 03:39 PM
I'm in, but you know damn well it would stop on Toby.

Cullion
2nd May 12, 03:42 PM
we should all get a turn, and then share the responsibility of fatherhood.

Feryk
2nd May 12, 03:44 PM
Sure. Are we sharing custody as well?

Cullion
2nd May 12, 03:47 PM
no, Lily can just post a monthly progress report.

NoBowie
2nd May 12, 05:20 PM
You don't need your husband's sperm to get pregnant, just purified water that has come into contact with a sperm molecule.

billy sol hurok
2nd May 12, 05:49 PM
8476

Couldn't be bothered doing the PS to this (actually, couldn't be bothered finding photos of you mugs).

Harpy
2nd May 12, 05:57 PM
So weird, as you guys turn from supportive to trolling my husband is transitioning to his best so I'll just enjoy the next 3 weeks before he goes travelling on business.

Would anyone here be willing to marry me in name only so we can apply for adoption opportunities together? After I get the child we will divorce amicably (maybe a small payout if it's Lebell).

Cullion
2nd May 12, 06:03 PM
Don't think I haven't noticed your evasion of my last serious question. Because I have.

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 06:10 PM
Lily if you want me to buy you a Mexican or Indian baby, crate it up and slow-boat it to Ozzyland, you better make with the skinshotz


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
2nd May 12, 06:31 PM
Don't think I haven't noticed your evasion of my last serious question. Because I have.I had hoped my word was sufficient. I understand you and Lebell are very hands on at home and applaud that (Lebell who brought up pain threshhold because I sure didn't).

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 07:23 PM
I think we can do a sort of "Twins" movie thing and combine our DNA and hope mine wins out so she get the Arnold level of child and not NoB's or Lebell's and she's stuck with the DeVito baby


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NoBowie
2nd May 12, 07:25 PM
I think we can do a sort of "Twins" movie thing and combine our DNA and hope mine wins out so she get the Arnold level of child and not NoB's or Lebell's and she's stuck with the DeVito baby


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

I have posted pics of my kids. They are all good looking.

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 07:25 PM
Silence,


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Harpy
2nd May 12, 07:52 PM
I lol'd at the Sociocide roulette comment.

NoB, you do make beautiful kids.

Snake - I'd prefer Bolivian kids because of the situation there. Doesn't matter if they're not babies (under 10 years old preferable and I know Reese is going to make a dirty comment).

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd May 12, 08:10 PM
NoB contains the "fatty gene" in his "fatty jeans"


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Harpy
2nd May 12, 08:16 PM
I just had a giggle thinking of the inevitable headline "Child Smuggling Ring Smashed - online predators jailed and further links to Swedish shadow group found".

Not my best idea. Scrap it.

Lebell
3rd May 12, 05:31 AM
So weird, as you guys turn from supportive to trolling my husband is transitioning to his best so I'll just enjoy the next 3 weeks before he goes travelling on business.

Would anyone here be willing to marry me in name only so we can apply for adoption opportunities together? After I get the child we will divorce amicably (maybe a small payout if it's Lebell).

oh yes im game.
no kissing on the mouth though.

Harpy
3rd May 12, 07:02 AM
Don't worry, I won't allow you near our adopted child.

Lebell
3rd May 12, 07:37 AM
NO ADOPTION, MUST HAVE MY GENES.

AAAAAA
3rd May 12, 08:14 AM
NO ADOPTION, MUST HAVE MY GENES.

Why? Brown people genes are dominant anyways, your weak blue-eyes gene will get gangraped and disappear in a couple generations.

Just let it go. It's okay to leave way to the new masterrace.