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Harpy
8th February 12, 02:23 AM
Started a new job, there are showers, tennis courts and a park about 1 mile away.

I have an hour to change, run to the park, workout, run back/cooldown, shower and get dressed.

I've got 25 min at the park and a skipping rope, sturdy bench, basketball court.

Today I did (3-5 sets of everything) step ups on the parkbench, decline sit ups, skipping, push ups, bounding, a lap around the park before I ran back to work.

Give me ideas! I'm so used to working out with a partner or with weights/in a gym. I want to really get back into plyo so I've got stuff like jump squats, jump split lunges, star jumps, knees up, Malcolms (but I don't want to get grass all over me), help me put it together into a focused, quick burst please! I'll still hit the weights x2 evenings a week and do interval sprints and longer runs
on other days so no need to tell me about that.

Also, tips on ensuring my gym bag doesn't smell plz. Boss is chubby and not
happy I'm working out, she decided against McD's for lunch and got Thai takeaway instead when she saw me get back and wrinkles her nose
at anything that would suggest she should get fit.

Adouglasmhor
8th February 12, 02:31 AM
Buy some poupouri and some rice, stick in an old tights leg in your gym bag to absorb smells, take it out to dry when you put your gear in the wash.

Harpy
8th February 12, 02:42 AM
Awesome idea dougie, thank you.

nihilist
8th February 12, 03:27 AM
Put clumping kitty litter in your gym shorts to absorb odor and wetness.

Cullion
8th February 12, 03:32 AM
If you buy a kettlebell you can do intense interval workouts without needing for get down on the floor for exercises like burpees etc..

A boxing or kickboxing class 2 or 3 times a week would give you the kind of whole-body circuit workout you're looking for, if you can spare the time outside of work.

nihilist
8th February 12, 03:34 AM
Some workout ideas:

1. Resistance training: buy chocolate cake and resist eating the whole thing at once.

2. Powerlifting: pretend to be excited to see your boss and attempt to lift her with big hugs.

3. Cardio: invite just about any guy from socioide to visit you and be nimble as they chase you around desks.

4. Cooldown: throw bucket of ice on their genitals.

Harpy
8th February 12, 04:55 AM
Cullion - was considering getting a PT once a week to meet me at the park but work hours are erratic, meetings etc and uni is starting so not getting into anything where I have to make a commitment to anyone else. My boy holds the mitts and kickpads for me on weekends when he is not sulking/getting wasted.

M - you kill me.

The next 8 weeks is called 'In pursuit of youth'. I am going to kick ass.

Spade: The Real Snake
8th February 12, 08:19 AM
1 Gallon of H2O = appx. 5 lbs.

Carry one in each hand and use as weights then give yourself a hobobath before heading back to work.


Also get a resistance band. Easy to store and use on trees, benches, winos, etc.

Commodore Pipes
8th February 12, 09:32 AM
You could leg press your boss!

NoBowie
8th February 12, 11:31 PM
IPdxGZW-haY

Spade: The Real Snake
8th February 12, 11:47 PM
You could leg press your boss!

Bitch get ur own house in order before you be talkin' 'bout ur neighbors

And NoB has no business on this thread unless he is holding Cullion's out-turned pocket


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

NoBowie
8th February 12, 11:48 PM
Today I seriously thought about exercising and I skipped dinner.

Spade: The Real Snake
8th February 12, 11:49 PM
I would tell you to facepalm, but I am quite sure that palm would be wrapped around an ice cream sandwich


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

NoBowie
8th February 12, 11:58 PM
I would tell you to facepalm, but I am quite sure that palm would be wrapped around an ice cream sandwich


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro
ooh. Ice cream sandwich. Haven't had one of those in months.

Harpy
9th February 12, 12:13 AM
Cullion has got me thinking about kettlebells (though is not because I don't want to get on the floor cos I'm a firm believer in changing up the angle, height at which I work). Must do research, can I carry one on my jog to the park (should I then use a backpack so as not to injure myself)? How many, how heavy?

I would leave it in my office so I don't have to lug it in.

Pie of Hate
9th February 12, 04:50 AM
ooh. Ice cream sandwich. Haven't had one of those in minutes.

Harpy
9th February 12, 05:36 AM
Cake - Are you Mr Universe 2012?NoB, meet you at the park tomorrow. High school kids hang out there on their lunch break and make out (as well as other gross stuff). I'll bench press you, you just bring the oranges.

Pie of Hate
9th February 12, 05:59 AM
Cake - Are you Mr Universe 2012?

No because i'm not a victim of infinite expansion.

Spade: The Real Snake
9th February 12, 08:10 AM
Cullion has got me thinking about kettlebells (though is not because I don't want to get on the floor cos I'm a firm believer in changing up the angle, height at which I work). Must do research, can I carry one on my jog to the park (should I then use a backpack so as not to injure myself)? How many, how heavy?

I would leave it in my office so I don't have to lug it in.
traditional kettleballs are quite dense and, while you can get them in varying weights, I am of the opinion they wouldn't be good to carry in your backpack.

Not sure if you can get them in Whorstralia, but there is a product called the U-Fill-It kettleball that weighs 2lbs (FUCKING AMERICAN WEIGHT BITCHEZ) and can be filled with water up to 50lbs.

I haven't seen one in person, so I don't know how big it is, but you can always use my water jug idea which is essentially the same goddam exact thing.

YOU'RE WELCOME. Not go bully Cake of Doom.

resolve
9th February 12, 10:37 AM
Current Sociocide currency is 5 push-ups per laugh.

I now owe 30 from this thread.

Totaling in with all the other threads for today that makes it 40.

See? Sociocide can be good for something! Even if for others it's how many shots or how many ice creams they put down per laugh...

Feryk
9th February 12, 03:25 PM
Shut up and get face down on the ground, resolve. Pushups don't do themselves.

Spade: The Real Snake
9th February 12, 03:35 PM
How positively Lulzxy-esque of you, Feryk.

Now go adjust your sportsbra and take a hobobath in the park.

Feryk
9th February 12, 03:37 PM
I'll have you know that I'm back on the pushups bandwagon. Did 150 last Friday.

It took 3 days to recover, but still!

Kidding. I was doing them again on Sunday, Tuesday and will again Friday. Part of my Karate warmup right now.

Cullion
9th February 12, 03:40 PM
Cullion has got me thinking about kettlebells (though is not because I don't want to get on the floor cos I'm a firm believer in changing up the angle, height at which I work). Must do research, can I carry one on my jog to the park (should I then use a backpack so as not to injure myself)? How many, how heavy?

I would leave it in my office so I don't have to lug it in.

Running with a kettlebell that was heavy enough to do the kind of ballistic, HIIT workouts I'm thinking of would probably injure you unless you had it very carefully secured in a backpack, and you had been taught the proper technique for running with weight by somebody with military experience.

Harpy
9th February 12, 03:45 PM
My friend Crazy Mohammed, Egyptian military, taught me how to securely and safely carry up to 15 kilos and run. I know it's not a lot but would an 8-10kg kb be good?

Spade: The Real Snake
9th February 12, 04:06 PM
I know it's not a lot but would an 8-10kg kb be good?
Honestly, I think that is too much weight for you to start with.
I know it *seems* light, but the body mechanics of using kettleballs is vastly different than using traditional dumbbells.
The diffusion of the weight, the manner in which the weight hangs and the manner in which your body manipulates the weight makes it a completely different workout.

Spade: The Real Snake
9th February 12, 04:09 PM
THIS THREAD NEEDS A GOON-ING!

Harpy
9th February 12, 04:10 PM
Thanks Snake, will take that into consideration.

Spade: The Real Snake
9th February 12, 04:17 PM
Thanks Snake, will take that into consideration.
Go to the Sporting Goods store and try doing your shoulder presses or whatever exercises you plan on doing and test the varying weights.

But using my waterbottles example again......try shoulder pressing a 1G (4L AUS ) jug of water and notice how much more you feel it vs. a 10-15lb (4KG AUS) dumbbell.

OZZ
9th February 12, 09:46 PM
If you buy a kettlebell..

Kettlebells are not a good idea for people who are just getting used to exercising unless you have someone who knows what they are doing to help.
Keep up the good work, Lily. The basic calisthenics and trunk strengthening you described is the right way to start.
Drink lots of water.
Can you / do you want to ride a bike?

Harpy
9th February 12, 10:59 PM
No way I'd ride a bike in this area, heavy vehicle traffic all day long. I won't be surprised if a truck takes me out one day.

nihilist
9th February 12, 11:02 PM
No way I'd ride a bike in this area, heavy vehicle traffic all day long. I won't be surprised if a truck takes me out one day.

Is this what Snake meant when he had heard that you were way into heavy machinery?

Harpy
10th February 12, 12:31 AM
I knew you'd go there when I typed that.
http://cdn3.explainthatstuff.com/atlascopco_drill.jpg

Feryk
10th February 12, 05:33 PM
Izzat tool pr0n Lily?

Adouglasmhor
10th February 12, 06:01 PM
ooh. Ice cream sandwich. Haven't had one of those in months.

One not enough?

Cullion
11th February 12, 09:18 AM
My friend Crazy Mohammed, Egyptian military, taught me how to securely and safely carry up to 15 kilos and run. I know it's not a lot but would an 8-10kg kb be good?

Yes, perfectly alright. I know you have always maintained your fitness but you aren't very heavy. 8kg is a good starting weight for a lightly built woman.

Harpy
12th February 12, 09:45 PM
I haven't maintained my weights and core training as well as I should so your advice is sound. Thank you.

Harpy
12th March 12, 06:10 AM
I received some encouragement from a yokel who yelled out to me from his car window "run Forrest run!!".

Spade: The Real Snake
12th March 12, 09:01 AM
I received some encouragement from a yokel who yelled out to me from his car window "run Forrest run!!".
did your Tobyesque leg braces finally burst free

resolve
12th March 12, 03:45 PM
did your Tobyesque leg braces finally burst free

This post needs visuals.

5R_HIcE_TIE

syberia
12th March 12, 05:08 PM
This post needs visuals.

5R_HIcE_TIE

I still find it difficult to believe that those three kids were so inadequate at riding that they couldn't catch up to him in the first ten seconds.

Harpy
12th March 12, 05:22 PM
You'd have mowed him down quick smart sybs.

Feryk
12th March 12, 05:30 PM
Now that would've been classic:

Sybs rolls up next to Forrest, leaps off her bike onto his back and bulldogs him into the pavement.

Would've been epic.

Harpy
12th March 12, 05:46 PM
My older sister wore leg braces for a few years as she had multiple surgeries as a baby to correct club foot. I'm told she was so good natured despite the pain, the heavy plaster, braces and being treated as different and less able.

Jump on that.

syberia
12th March 12, 05:51 PM
Now that would've been classic:

Sybs rolls up next to Forrest, leaps off her bike onto his back and bulldogs him into the pavement.

Would've been epic.

I... would never... do that.
I was a nice child. Sort of.

Spade: The Real Snake
12th March 12, 07:30 PM
This post needs visuals.
No, it really didn't.

Spade: The Real Snake
12th March 12, 07:31 PM
My older sister wore leg braces for a few years as she had multiple surgeries as a baby to correct club foot. I'm told she was so good natured despite the pain, the heavy plaster, braces and being treated as different and less able.

Jump on that.
I'm still not sure which sucked the funny out of the room quicker. Your honest, earnest post or Resolve's flaccid +1ing.

Harpy
12th March 12, 07:44 PM
Give resolve some credit.

I always found that scene uplifting as I did watching my sister overcome her challenges. She wasn't a star athlete and her leg muscles were underdeveloped but she participated in all activities, swam like a fish and tore up the rug with her dance moves :)

Spade: The Real Snake
12th March 12, 07:47 PM
Give resolve some credit.
NO!


I always found that scene uplifting as I did watching my sister overcome her challenges. She wasn't a star athlete and her leg muscles were underdeveloped but she participated in all activities, swam like a fish and tore up the rug with her dance moves :)
this didn't assuagemy guilt....

hold me.

Harpy
12th March 12, 07:55 PM
*holds Snake's dainty hand in her massive man hands*

Don't feel bad, I was smiling as I wrote that :)

Feryk
14th March 12, 03:24 PM
I feel no guilt. Bulldogging Forest Gump would've been funnier.

Ajamil
23rd March 12, 11:50 PM
While the scene still brings manly tears, I can never stop thinking that if his braces actually fell apart like that, he'd just fall over immediately and they would run him over with their bikes.

Harpy
9th June 12, 08:25 PM
Listen to your body: A Cautionary Tale

Went to MMA conditioning class at 8:30am. Got through the hour without throwing up. Twinge in right knee from old injury during cool down. Went home.

Same day 2:30pm, decided to go for a run. 53 minutes into it something gives in my right knee but damned stubborn fool that I am, I grit my teeth and focus on hitting the one hour mark plus I was nearly home. I must have made some animalistic sounds as I bitch-talked myself to not quit and not be such a pussy like some of you guys. Make it and slow down to a jog, get inside and proceed to stretch it out and cool down on the mat. Must have made my fricken knee worse holding the stretches.

Had to take a painkiller last night and one this morning. Tried to go for a power walk, broke out in a sweat from the pain about 5 minutes in. Quit and had a hot shower now f'ing hurting and more than that just really really pissed at myself because I'm frustrated I can't work out until I figure out what I've done. Can't put much weight on the right knee and the second and third toe on the affected side are numb. I'm still 'walking' if you can call it that.

I'm sure most of the older posts know better but to those who are as stupid as me, think harder before being a retard.

Cullion
10th June 12, 05:26 AM
Why did you try to go for an hour long run on the same day as an anaerobic conditioning session ?

You're not a professional athelete (they would have spent the time between those training sessions eating and resting). You're just going to make yourself weaker.

Harpy
10th June 12, 06:13 AM
That's my usual Saturday and I'd also go for a 75 min walk in the evenings (including eating well, 5 meals a day, and usually taking a nap in the afternoon). Just my knee I should have attended to, such a stupid mistake. I've more or less rested Sunday so I'm hoping the gods will heal me tonight because I'm hitting the weights tomorrow morning ;)

Cullion
10th June 12, 06:24 AM
You're really terrified of getting fat, aren't you ?

You're just putting your body under chronic strain that doesn't allow it enough recovery to actually get stronger, that's why it's starting to break.

Spade: The Real Snake
10th June 12, 09:44 AM
yes, Lulxzy, I'll give you a full-body rubdown.
you didn't need to beg for it in such a publicly embarrassing manner.....

Feryk
11th June 12, 03:09 PM
Lily, sorry to hear about your pain, but you ARE correct.

You were stupid, and brought that on yourself.

Get it checked before doing anything else stupid.

Harpy
14th June 12, 06:13 PM
You're really terrified of getting fat, aren't you ?

You're just putting your body under chronic strain that doesn't allow it enough recovery to actually get stronger, that's why it's starting to break.How can I be terrified of what I already am?

My body is definitely not under chronic stress, 10 hours sitting in an office and 8 hours sleep every day. I think the bodies of the modern world need to be jump started and woken up to keep us honed. Cull, I think you are scared of a little bit of pain.

Feryk - I had a day of rest and have been back into it. Not quite balls to the wall but soon...

Feryk
14th June 12, 06:28 PM
Is that enough time for you to heal effectively?

Harpy
14th June 12, 06:45 PM
The flu kicked my ass and I barely worked out in that 12 day period. I know when to rest.

Sometimes pain is tricky to read and you've got to be able to differentiate and know what to work through. My knee has it's moments when it gives way but once I'm warmed up I find everything works smoothly. I've been squatting and deadlifting and back to high impact stuff like plyo so it can't be serious.

You going okay with injuries et al Feryk?

Spade: The Real Snake
14th June 12, 06:52 PM
I caught a combination cold/allergy flare-up, on the Sunday night returning from taking the boy to the Phoenix Comiccon.

Skipped the Tuesday gym and MA training and felt good on Thursday, so I did my normal workout. Felt great Friday morning and went again and midway through, I just gassed hard. I was sweating like a Feryk in church and shaking like Dola with the DTs.

Skipped my normal MA training on Friday and Saturday and the following Tuesday and skipped the normal gym on Saturday and Tuesday and eased back in the following Thursday.

Back in the normal routine for the past week and a half and finally getting back to the levels I was pre-bronchial revolt.

Harpy
14th June 12, 07:03 PM
I see no lemon cake in your diary!!

Spade: The Real Snake
14th June 12, 08:37 PM
I was wolfing up too many throat eggs

Harpy
14th June 12, 09:07 PM
Can you please delete that post? I feel sick

Spade: The Real Snake
14th June 12, 10:11 PM
No

Commodore Pipes
15th June 12, 10:45 AM
I'm not sure what that means. Does that mean you were churning up the lung butter?

Spade: The Real Snake
15th June 12, 10:53 AM
Yes.
You should have seen the yolk on a couple of them.

Commodore Pipes
15th June 12, 10:54 AM
As long as there wasn't significant amounts of blood, I don't see why Lily should be so disgusted.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th June 12, 11:02 AM
well....you know how GURLZ are.....

Spade: The Real Snake
15th June 12, 11:03 AM
At least I am assuming you know how GURLZ are.....what with your claiming to have sired a progeny and all.


You DO know how GURLZ are, don't you?

Commodore Pipes
15th June 12, 11:24 AM
You DO know how GURLZ are, don't you?

Yes, I know how girls are. They have a hoohoo dilly in place of a ding-dong.

Commodore Pipes
15th June 12, 11:25 AM
Wait, maybe I have the hoohoo dilly, and girls have ding dongs.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th June 12, 11:43 AM
They only like certain special bodily fluids

nihilist
15th June 12, 11:47 AM
Farang ding dongs?

Spade: The Real Snake
15th June 12, 12:28 PM
Boys haz teh pen0r
Gurlz haz teh baginer
Lulxzy haz both

Feryk
15th June 12, 12:50 PM
My injuries are all fine at the moment. Just getting back into Karate training for myself. Our head sensei was down with injuries/work for the last four months, so I was teaching three nights/week.

Didn't leave a lot of time to train myself. Felt good to get beat up for a couple hours.

Trying to train at least three times/week over the summer. I have some things to prove to myself. I'm gonna do the 100 pushup challenge.

OZZ
19th June 12, 12:13 PM
Is that enough time for you to heal effectively ?

In a word..no.
lily, you are risking permanent injury by pushing things beyond your limitations/endurance.
Then you will really be fucked.
There are plenty of exercises you can still do when nursing an injury, but you need to be prudent about it.

Harpy
12th September 12, 07:04 AM
Guns and Buns II

I'm going to become Hawkeye this summer.

Spade: The Real Snake
12th September 12, 08:08 AM
Giving yourself another year of fattydom, eh?

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 05:12 PM
Hawkeye pix of Lulxzy, plx.

And NoB.....just cuz the Bulgarian is eating for two, doesn't mean you need to eat for all three.

Harpy
30th November 12, 06:17 PM
I'm sitting at the podiatrist clinic waiting to get my calluses removed, smashed/broken toenails taken care of and my left ankle checked (hasn't been 100% since the fall).

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 06:25 PM
That is so unsexy.

ugh

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 06:25 PM
Tell him to address your cloven-hoof (http://www.enduringword.com/commentaries/0311.htm), too.

Harpy
30th November 12, 06:28 PM
My usually elegant feet look like a bomb site, blood bruises under the toenails,
2 missing, my right big toe nail is hanging by a thread and I'm too scared to remove it. But Steve will do it because I'm paying him to. At least I'm not one of those sweaty soled people with fungal infections.

I bet your feet are gross.

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 06:31 PM
My usually elegant feet look like a bomb site, blood bruises under the toenails,
2 missing, my right big toe nail is hanging by a thread and I'm too scared to remove it. But Steve will do it because I'm paying him to. At least I'm not one of those sweaty soled people with fungal infections.
You are rapidly moving down on the list...


I worship at your feet.

Harpy
30th November 12, 06:35 PM
I can't help it, I have long narrow feet, high arches and a heavy tread on my heels for a person my size. However I do have perfectly neutral feet (perfect for kendo) with no pronation.

Who's above me on the list now? NoB and Dr F??

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 06:39 PM
I can't help it, I have long narrow feet, high arches and a heavy tread on my heels for a person my size. However I do have perfectly neutral feet (perfect for kendo) with no pronation. (http://ugc-01.cafemomstatic.com/gen/constrain/500/500/80/2011/12/04/17/4l/7l/pozswjsrcw1j5fo.jpg?imageId=22715171)
Feet only Humm can appreciate


Who's above me on the list now? NoB and Dr F??
no (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UaLWp72nij4/TC_BUD5fJSI/AAAAAAAAQow/pn9kiNTr1Kg/s1600/rhona-mitra-feet.jpg) and no (http://www.feetceleb.com/courtney-cox/courteney-cox-feet-1.jpg)

Harpy
30th November 12, 07:26 PM
I've been sent off with an appointment for am x-Ray and ultrasound for my left ankle (can one give birth through the feet?)

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 08:06 PM
If you could, the Bulgarian would make NoB do it


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
30th November 12, 08:09 PM
Cox has nicer feet than Mitra, though Mitra could whoop her ass.

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 11:32 PM
And then there's you...


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
18th March 13, 08:22 PM
Sociocide has pervaded my life. After my workout last night I reached into the freezer for a vanilla Cornetto and in my mind I immediately hear Snake mocking me while NoB encourages me to reward myself. Had to snap out of the moment, I ate the ice cream.

Spade: The Real Snake
18th March 13, 11:00 PM
We will work off those 300 calories with a little StingWalrus lovin'

Harpy
18th March 13, 11:16 PM
14.285 sessions to be exact.

Spade: The Real Snake
18th March 13, 11:31 PM
insatiable minx

NoBowie
11th July 13, 07:42 PM
http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/1i2w2z/best_damn_cardio_humanly_possible_in_15_minutes/cb0ky70

Schwarzenegger is awesome:

"Everybody, behave and stop bickering. This is about inspiring more people to get into fitness. I've never understood people who argue constantly about who is wrong and who is right in fitness, because the fact is, there are many "right" answers, especially for people just starting out.

Do you think Sergio Oliva and I did the same thing? No. In fact, you could walk into Gold's and watch the 5 best guys and see 5 completely different routines. And you know what? We didn't argue.

Do me a favor. Try to focus more on expanding the fitness community as a whole than protecting your little corner of it."

Neildo
12th July 13, 02:43 AM
i read that aloud with a schwarzenegger accent. you girly man.

Pie of Hate
12th July 13, 06:44 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDKcevMFUCo

Spade: The Real Snake
12th July 13, 08:02 AM
Arnold has bitch-tits, now.

NoBowie
12th July 13, 12:07 PM
http://imgur.com/z4ov2qr.gif

Spade: The Real Snake
12th July 13, 12:07 PM
FRONT TWERK'N!!!

Angry Mandrill
12th July 13, 12:33 PM
holy bejebus, that might be the most disgusting thing i've ever seen.

Spade: The Real Snake
12th July 13, 12:53 PM
krcqHRkubyw

Angry Mandrill
12th July 13, 03:17 PM
okay, second most disgusting

Spade: The Real Snake
10th January 14, 07:05 PM
Whatever happened to our Meat Chested ol' Commodore?