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Commodore Pipes
12th December 11, 10:30 PM
So I have started lifting weights again after a long hiatus, and I've started working out my legs after never working out my legs. I always had strong legs without having to do anything for them, so I never did. But my lifetime of laziness has caught up with me, and I am getting so goddamn fat, that I am working everything I can. So I started using the ram sled, and I've noticed something:

I can leg press hella more than I can squat.

On one level that doesn't surprise me, because injuries are the reason why I took the long hiatus from weights to begin with, and I am still nervous about squatting too much. I am still working on developing good form. But I don't feel a good pump from it, just a lot of sore little stabilizers. If there a way to figure out a target weight for squat based off of my leg press, or should the sore little stabilizers be a sign that I should stick with developing my form? ANd before you yell at me for not starting squats earlier, yes, yes I know the squat is the super best, but I was a young man with disproportionately strong legs, and I mostly worked on my vanity muscles.

bob
13th December 11, 12:21 AM
Which stabilisers?

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 12:38 AM
I'm not sure what they are called, but mostly along the outside of my feet and on the upper back and outside of my legs, just below my fine ass. DOMS hits those the hardest. My quads, on the otherhand, never get DOMS from squats. I try to get my ass as low as I can - usually the bottom of my ass lines up with the bottom of my gastroc. That's as low as I can go and keep my back straight my knees behind my toes.

Harpy
13th December 11, 02:53 AM
Where's Mole when you actually need him?

Put down the Ben&Jerry's now!!

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:04 AM
Keep your weight on your heels
Keep your chin up
Don't go power than parallel
Don't worry about going heavy for a few months and stick with higher reps (10-12)
Muscles recuperate quickly but tendons and ligaments take months and months to build so don't be a hero and end up injured.

bob
13th December 11, 04:22 AM
What reese said +

You can use tables like this (http://exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/SquatStandards.html) to give you a very general idea of what average individuals lift. Never listen to anyone who tells you that you 'should be lifting more than that'.

Get a professional to check your form (preferably a strength and conditioning coach who has experience working with athletes, not just a gym's personal trainer). Even if you have to pay for it, it's worth the money in the long term.

Also, don't think of squats as a 'leg' exercise. There's a lot more to it than that.

Finally, leg presses are ghey.

Harpy
13th December 11, 04:32 AM
Why is it that some individuals have stronger/more conditioned/more flexible tendons and ligaments? It seems like they're aspects that are built up incidentally in your average gym goer.

I guess it's generally exposed when some choose to lift beyond what they are capable (and lack proper form) or make sudden movements during an activity?

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:41 AM
This is a good explanation of squat basics as far as form goes.
remember to keep the bar perfectly parallel throughout the exercise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6RIs8-AVwM

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:52 AM
Why is it that some individuals have stronger/more conditioned/more flexible tendons and ligaments? It seems like they're aspects that are built up incidentally in your average gym goer.

I guess it's generally exposed when some choose to lift beyond what they are capable (and lack proper form) or make sudden movements during an activity?

I'd say 90% of people have an incomplete stretching routine. This causes poor form which exacerbates injuries. As far as incidental conditioning goes, if your exercises don't mimic the activity you train for, you won't build the proper amount of strength and flexibility in parts of the connective tissue and therefore it is the 'Achilles heel' that also leaves one open to injuries when attempting unfamiliar stresses. Stretching is actually exercise that conditions the muscles and connective tissue. It's not only useful for gaining flexibility.

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 09:09 AM
Don't go power than parallel


Is this supposed to be "lower than parallel"?Can you explain this a little more? I thought that the lower you get, the more reward, as long as your knees aren't positioned in front of your toes. Do you mean don't go lower than parallel ever, or until I have more experience and the form down?



You can use tables like this (http://exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/SquatStandards.html) to give you a very general idea of what average individuals lift. Never listen to anyone who tells you that you 'should be lifting more than that'...


I am actually right on track for "Untrained" according to that table.



Finally, leg presses are ghey.

Probably, but sometimes the old ego boost of big lifts of mostly nonfunctional strength like the calf raise helps keep me motivated.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 10:42 AM
I had to change my lifting routine regarding leg work. Due to old injuries to my left foot, both ankles, both knees and my left hip, my recoup time after leg work was just too long. That coupled with my thighs/hips/ass not fitting into normal jeans led to me to just stick with bodyweight/low weight exercises.

I pretty much stick with my mat drills, kicking bagwork, pistols/single legs/negatives/split/lunges/stuff from Pavel's book with kettles and dumbells.

nihilist
13th December 11, 12:53 PM
Is this supposed to be "lower than parallel"?Can you explain this a little more? I thought that the lower you get, the more reward, as long as your knees aren't positioned in front of your toes. Do you mean don't go lower than parallel ever, or until I have more experience and the form down? Yes, just until you get very comfortable with the movement and can perform it with perfect form without even thinking about it. The one thing you never want to do is 'rest' at the bottom as you can seriously injure your knee joints.

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 01:05 PM
Thanks, I appreciate it. Apparently, according to the site, I have to do some more pushups.

Cullion
13th December 11, 01:14 PM
I'm sure you're already aware of this, but if you're worried about getting fat the most important thing is controlling your diet.

nihilist
13th December 11, 02:02 PM
Smaller meals consumed with greater frequency keeps the body from triggering fat storage.

Do not eat before bedtime. I cannot stress this enough.

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 02:34 PM
I have been working on my diet, too, but in the past I have always been blase` about my lapses. I would be really good for a few months and then blow it on a party weekend. Also, my workouts were generally two large 4+ hour workouts with running, elliptical and then weights, but the problem with that was that if I missed one, I missed half of my exercise. I've started working out over lunch with a coworker at out onsite gym. It's on hour, five times a week, and then I run in the evenings for about twenty minutes. I'm trying to cultivate habits and a culture of fitness, which I hope will help my diet - you know, when I'm at the gym with a partner, and I'm gassing because I tried to give myself gout over the weekend, he can laugh at me and call me a pussy. That sort of competitive drive, you know.

My wife has started working out regularly, too, which helps me stay in line. Un(?)fortunately, I think I'm going to get more additions to my burgeoning scotch bar this christmas, since the only things I want are scotch and guns, and none of my family wants to buy me guns or gun paraphenalia, even the veterans, even though its my birthday, too. I think I will be okay if I drink scotch instead of dinner, though. That should help keep the calories down those evenings I'm home playing with guns.

nihilist
13th December 11, 02:39 PM
Unfortunately, alcohol is the most readily absorbed carbohydrate there is.
Keep that in mind in your rate of consumption per hour.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 02:52 PM
I think your twice weekly 4+ hour workout sessions are more of a hindrance than a help....but that's my opinion.

If you can break them up I think you may get better results because it looks like you are taking a shotgun approach with running then elliptical then weightstraining....hoping to hit everything so you will be done for the next three days.

nihilist
13th December 11, 02:56 PM
Weekend warrior training is the worst possible approach especially as it applies to injury prevention.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 03:05 PM
Reese is angling for you to post shirtless pix.

nihilist
13th December 11, 03:08 PM
Not until he's tan, oiled and ripped.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 03:24 PM
Also, are you doing your leg work on the same days are your are doing your 4+ hour session, starting it off with running and elliptical?

Because if you are trying to build endurance by using low weight/high rep/ high set taking your muscles to fail/fatigue.....that's probably fine.

But, if you are doing high weigh/low rep you are just setting yourself up for shitty form, shitty results and much frustration.

What is your actual long-term goal? Build power, build mass, build speed, build endurance....bar body? Pumped biceps with a hint of a paunch? What?

Also...take it to Bullshido, faggot.

nihilist
13th December 11, 03:47 PM
lol.

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 03:55 PM
1.) I now break up my workouts, and do cardio separately.
2.) My goal is basically for functional health. I'm not sculpting, I'm not competing in anything, I really just want to develop sustainable, good health habits that I can pass on to my child.
3). I'm not talking about martial arts, and I'm not interested in six hundred unhelpful posts from teenagers bragging about the huge fucking press their friend did.

bob
13th December 11, 03:56 PM
I think I will be okay if I drink scotch instead of dinner, though. That should help keep the calories down those evenings I'm home playing with guns.


Unfortunately, alcohol is the most readily absorbed carbohydrate there is.
Keep that in mind in your rate of consumption per hour.

Lead is pretty readily absorbed too.

Harpy
13th December 11, 03:56 PM
Thanks for the reply on my question M.

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:01 PM
4QWfrxYt9DQ

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 04:18 PM
1.) I now break up my workouts, and do cardio separately.
After you get into a workout groove, have you considered plyometric resistance training?


2.) My goal is basically for functional health. I'm not sculpting, I'm not competing in anything, I really just want to develop sustainable, good health habits that I can pass on to my child.
Does your gym have any personal training or consultants available? It might be worth a look to see about having them help set up a routine for you.

Otherwise, don't be afraid to Frankenstein. I don't do any benches. I don't like them and I don't see them as functional for my needs. I see guys at the gym that pretty much only do benches. They hunker down, press out a quick 1 to 3 reps then admire their mass in the mirror.

See what your buddy is doing, what other guys are doing and give it a try. And I know it's gonna be hard, but check your ego.

My pants-shitting employee, that I have spoken of here before, decided he wanted to get into shape. This occurred after I forced all my employees to have weekly weigh-ins where I mock their fatasses.

He smokes, drinks and eats shitty, but decided that since he was a high school wrestler, he could jump right into the PX90 and proceeded to gas after 10 minutes and couldn't get off his couch for three days after.


3). I'm not talking about martial arts, and I'm not interested in six hundred unhelpful posts from teenagers bragging about the huge fucking press their friend did.
Coward.

Commodore Pipes
13th December 11, 04:32 PM
Coward.

Perhaps, but it's not like this site has anything better to do.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 04:41 PM
Perhaps, but it's not like this site has anything better to do.
d00d!
U need to grapple.

Harpy
13th December 11, 04:45 PM
I think you're getting into advanced territory Snake. Comm just needs to get back into good habits, be consistent and drop weight.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th December 11, 04:49 PM
I think you're getting into advanced territory Snake. Comm just needs to get back into good habits, be consistent and drop weight.
I'm giving him Bullshido answer.

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:49 PM
I think you're getting into advanced territory Snake. Comm just needs to get back into good habits, be consistent and drop weight.

Indeed.

K.I.S.S.

NoBowie
13th December 11, 04:51 PM
Indeed.

K.I.S.S.

Knights in Satan's Service?

nihilist
13th December 11, 04:57 PM
That too.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 10:12 AM
I think NoB should post his weekly workout routine, to give Pipes some inspiration

Commodore Pipes
14th December 11, 12:00 PM
I am not sure my brown eye can take it.

bob
14th December 11, 03:06 PM
Coward.

Cullion
14th December 11, 03:20 PM
Pumped biceps with a hint of a paunch?

If this is your goal, and I promise you it is a worthwhile goal, I can start posting my daily routine & diet for you to use as a template, if that would be helpful.

NoBowie
14th December 11, 03:34 PM
If this is your goal, and I promise you it is a worthwhile goal, I can start posting my daily routine & diet for you to use as a template, if that would be helpful.

Yes. This is my goal. Less paunch, more bicep. And chest. And legs.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 03:39 PM
If this is your goal, and I promise you it is a worthwhile goal, I can start posting my daily routine & diet for you to use as a template, if that would be helpful.
I am intrigued by this tempting offer and might like to explore this further. Perhaps in private?

Harpy
14th December 11, 03:43 PM
Everything turns to sh!t and bragging on Sociocide.

NoBowie
14th December 11, 03:54 PM
You need me.

Yes, we do.

Harpy
14th December 11, 04:06 PM
NoB, yesterday I tried to ask my husband if he'd be up for me maybe using a strap-on on him. He was on the treadmill at the time and told me I was sick and crazy for even suggesting it. Any tips?

NoBowie
14th December 11, 04:11 PM
NoB, yesterday I tried to ask my husband if he'd be up for me maybe using a strap-on on him. He was on the treadmill at the time and told me I was sick and crazy for even suggesting it. Any tips?

Watch the movie 'Young People Fucking (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0913445/)' (y.p.f) with him, it has some good comedy and also has a good scene where a wife convinces her husband to take one for the team. (Their marriage and sex life)

Also, if you do give him oral pleasures, sneak a lubed finger back there sometime. Then 2. Then 3. Then 4, which is strap-on territory anyways.

Harpy
14th December 11, 04:16 PM
Thread title is appropriate.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 04:25 PM
He was on the treadmill at the time
he's halfway there, already

NoBowie
14th December 11, 04:36 PM
If heterosexual women around the world would just unite and tell their men "If you want to put something inside me, I get to put something inside you" then sexual equality would take a big leap towards becoming a reality.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 04:44 PM
NoB, if you want to be a secretary, just go do it.

NoBowie
14th December 11, 04:49 PM
NoB, if you want to be a secretary, just go do it.

SEE? See the kind of social prejudice women have to deal with? If every woman had a strap-on in their closet and knew how to use it there would be allot less of this kind of crap.

Cullion
14th December 11, 05:25 PM
Yes. This is my goal. Less paunch, more bicep. And chest. And legs.

You need to do lots of overhead pressing movements with free weights, and wrestling. Forget about diet and 'cardio' for now. Ice cream. Steak. Whatever you want. And don't worry about nothing, because that releases cortisol.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 05:30 PM
any chance NoB can skip that whole "free weights" and go right to the ice cream?

Cullion
14th December 11, 05:32 PM
Nope. Not if he wants the 'pumped' part of the deal.

This is a very specific programme we're talking about. I've been tuning it for years, and you shouldn't mess with it, at least until you reach a persistent plateau.

NoBowie
14th December 11, 05:32 PM
And don't worry about nothing, because that releases cortisol.

That is problem number one. My job is very stressful and I haven't quite learned how to manage it yet. Between that and a high maintenance wife, I am fucked.

Cullion
14th December 11, 05:36 PM
My job could be pretty stressful if I let it, but I'm good at living within my means so I have an extremely low debt burden for my age and always have 'fuck you' money available. I don't need my salary to keep my house, etc..

It really helps your hormonal balance if you can look around a room containing all of your senior management and just... not care too much what any of them think. And that's just as important a part of the programme as all that wrestling and hoisting iron.

NoBowie
14th December 11, 05:41 PM
My job could be pretty stressful if I let it, but I'm good at living within my means so I have an extremely low debt burden for my age and always have 'fuck you' money available. I don't need my salary to keep my house, etc..

It really helps your hormonal balance if you can look around a room containing all of your senior management and just... not care too much what any of them think. And that's just as important a part of the programme as all that wrestling and hoisting iron.

I have paid off a third of my house, we don't need my wife's income to keep our standard of living but we do need mine.

Every Monday I have a metrics meeting with the VPs and I usually can't sleep the night before.

Cullion
14th December 11, 05:44 PM
Is your house in a 'non recourse' state?

I assume you have 5 or possibly 6 figures worth of other assets. Factor in the possibility of the next administration cancelling mortgage interest tax relief when you decide whether it's a good idea to hold cash and fluctuating stock that are taxed on their returns whilst simultaneously paying interest on a 6-figure debt.

I don't think that makes any sense for most people. Paying off debt is also a better hedge against unemployment, which is exactly the kind of psychological ammunition you need when you want to talk to those VPs without feeling nervous.

Robot Jesus
14th December 11, 05:55 PM
I use one of these things usually
http://www.pro-fitness.com/photos/front_squat_machine.jpg
I know it's not as good as doing a real squat, but since I workout alone I prefer using system that I won't kill myself if I need a spotter.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 06:10 PM
That is problem number one. My job is very stressful and I haven't quite learned how to manage it yet. Between that and a high maintenance wife, I am fucked.
as a man of your stature within your company, why are you not insisting they have an office gym at yours and other's disposal

NoBowie
14th December 11, 06:27 PM
as a man of your stature within your company, why are you not insisting they have an office gym at yours and other's disposal

Funny you mention it, I am having a basic gym put in right now. Will be done soon.

Spade: The Real Snake
14th December 11, 06:36 PM
So you will have no excuse for not hitting iron on the company dime, exclusionary to your high-maintenance wife.

Remember to work your triceps as they will make your biceps appear more pumped.

bob
14th December 11, 08:22 PM
If I've read nob's wife correctly she will take any serious exercise program as incontravertable proof of infidelity.

nihilist
14th December 11, 08:56 PM
Funny you mention it, I am having a basic gym put in right now. Will be done soon.

Right, cause how long does it take to put a hook in the ceiling to hang the sex swing anyway?

Harpy
14th December 11, 09:17 PM
I'm envisioning fat people using that swing :/ (not NoB).

nihilist
14th December 11, 09:27 PM
You are one sick bitch.

Commodore Pipes
14th December 11, 10:03 PM
My company has an onsite gym. Pretty comprehensive, actually. But once our second kid is born I am probably going to quit and play Mr. Mom for a few years. My wife is a healthcare provider, and she makes my salary look laughable. Of course, it's laughable on its own, without any comparison, so...

NoBowie
15th December 11, 12:39 AM
http://i1143.photobucket.com/albums/n624/Egg_NoB/tBZJZ.jpg

nihilist
15th December 11, 02:08 AM
Stay classy.

Adouglasmhor
15th December 11, 02:13 AM
Unfortunately, alcohol is the most readily absorbed carbohydrate there is.
Keep that in mind in your rate of consumption per hour.

Alchohols are not carbs and most alchoholic drinks are low carb http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art580.asp!

Do yiu mean they are high and empty calorific?

Adouglasmhor
15th December 11, 02:16 AM
If heterosexual women around the world would just unite and tell their men "If you want to put something inside me, I get to put something inside you" then sexual equality would take a big leap towards becoming a reality.

My woman does get to put something inside me, my dinner, there you go nob and no anal penetration involved.

Harpy
15th December 11, 02:22 AM
If it wasn't you dougie I'd ask if she pushed it back in...

nihilist
15th December 11, 03:18 AM
The way to a man's ass is through his stomach?!

bob
15th December 11, 03:50 AM
And vice versa.

Commodore Pipes
16th December 11, 12:19 PM
You need to do lots of overhead pressing movements with free weights, and wrestling. Forget about diet and 'cardio' for now. Ice cream. Steak. Whatever you want. And don't worry about nothing, because that releases cortisol.

It worked for me!

8117

Spade: The Real Snake
16th December 11, 01:05 PM
One of my pet peeves is fuckers resting on the machines. If you need a rest between sets, get up, move around and go back. Quit fucking squatting on the machines.

So this morning, as I am moving from station to station, I look over and see some fucker taking a goddamn nap on the leg press machine.

It didn't affect me, cuz I wasn't going to use it, but sweet jebus. I named the old coffin-dodger "Commodore Pipes" and rolled on.

Commodore Pipes
16th December 11, 02:08 PM
That's fair enough.

NoBowie
16th December 11, 02:21 PM
When I do go to the gym, which is rare, I like to do leg raises and situps / crunches on the bench between chest / arm sets.

Spade: The Real Snake
16th December 11, 02:30 PM
I do a kind of a difficult workout to perform in a gym setting. I do circuit training of 5 rounds of 12 different exercises, 10 reps each, decreasing weight, no break between stations but take a one-minute break between rounds.

By the end of the workout I have essentially done 600 reps, but I am moving from machine to machine. *MOST* of the time it isn't a problem, as if someone is at the fly machine, I can just go do overheads or curls or shoulder press.

The problem comes in if I get done with the entire round and some lazy fuck is still resting for 5 minutes after his grueling 5 reps at 30lbs. I then have to skip that station and double it up on the next round.

Adouglasmhor
17th December 11, 07:34 AM
When I do go to the gym, which is rare, I like to do leg raises and situps / crunches on the bench between chest / arm sets.

We all know your favourite machines at the gym.

8131

8130

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 11:59 AM
do those have credit card swipes, cuz we all know NoB doesn't mess with the filthy prole money

nihilist
17th December 11, 01:06 PM
I do a kind of a difficult workout to perform in a gym setting. I do circuit training of 5 rounds of 12 different exercises, 10 reps each, decreasing weight, no break between stations but take a one-minute break between rounds.

By the end of the workout I have essentially done 600 reps, but I am moving from machine to machine. *MOST* of the time it isn't a problem, as if someone is at the fly machine, I can just go do overheads or curls or shoulder press.

The problem comes in if I get done with the entire round and some lazy fuck is still resting for 5 minutes after his grueling 5 reps at 30lbs. I then have to skip that station and double it up on the next round.

Ask him if he's done or guarding the machine.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 01:11 PM
lol
YOU MAKE SURE NOBODY STEALS THAT SHIT NOW, BIGDOG!

nihilist
17th December 11, 01:52 PM
Just walk up and start talking about sore your glutes are from doing squat thrusts.

They'll move.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 02:02 PM
I legitimately laughed at that.......and that would require engaging them in conversation. I just want to wish them into the cornfield.


I will say this:

there is a kid....he's probably 23 or so....that I've seen there on a regular basis since the summer. He was one of those big fat gamer types with a body built by Mountain Dew and Doritos. I saw him there just lost and wandering around, not knowing what to do....but just wanting to do something about his shape.

He would watch and do what other people were doing:
ride the stationary, then go do some flys, then leg press
just a complete clusterfuck of a workout, but props to him he was *DOING* something.

I can see the weight has melted off and while he's still a big kid, he looks a hell of a lot better and he has managed to cobble together a workout regime where he is zone focused. He is also beginning and ending his workout with cardio, starting with stairs and ending with cycle.

Without really knowing the kid, I am proud of him.

Harpy
17th December 11, 04:05 PM
You've groomed him with your Jedi powers. Now take him in the change room.

Also, your workout sounds weird. Too much going on there.

Cullion
17th December 11, 04:08 PM
What should he be doing Lily?

Harpy
17th December 11, 04:10 PM
Rubbing coffee beans on his large thighs.

Ajamil
17th December 11, 04:13 PM
do those have credit card swipes, cuz we all know NoB doesn't mess with the filthy prole moneyI'm imagining a speed pass like on the turnpikes. NoB walks into the gym and all the vending machines turn on and start making him food.

Cullion
17th December 11, 04:15 PM
Rubbing coffee beans on his large thighs.

What is 'coffee bean' a euphemism for ?

Is this an Australian thing ?

Harpy
17th December 11, 05:31 PM
It's a supermodel thing.

Seriously though, cycling 5 times through 12 different machines and at 10 reps sounds ghey. What's your aim there Snake?

Cullion
17th December 11, 05:33 PM
he's going for the pump.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 05:38 PM
It's a supermodel thing.

Seriously though, cycling 5 times through 12 different machines and at 10 reps sounds ghey. What's your aim there Snake?

I'm essentially doing plyo resistance of various sanda motions of punches and throw motions during an average 5 min round
I dunno it's working for me


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 05:39 PM
I need Poppa Cully's 'ceps


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
17th December 11, 05:44 PM
I'm essentially doing plyo resistance of various sanda motions of punches and throw motions during an average 5 min round
I dunno it's working for me
Method to the madness. Dark Knight style training.

I don't know if it's working for you as much as your diet, genes and lifestyle. Centrefold shots plz.

nihilist
17th December 11, 05:51 PM
I'm essentially doing plyo resistance of various sanda motions of punches and throw motions during an average 5 min round
I dunno it's working for me


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro
Then seriously if someone hogs a machine, drop down and start counting your pushups in German.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 06:07 PM
I trained my German shepherd in hundekommandos so I can do it!

I'm too old for centerfold shots


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
17th December 11, 06:39 PM
Or do squat thrust jumps near a machine hogger with your crotch getting progressively near their face.

Harpy
17th December 11, 06:40 PM
I'm too old for centerfold shots Shut up and strip.

Cullion
17th December 11, 06:41 PM
Or do squat thrust jumps near a machine hogger with your crotch getting progressively near their face.

Does that work for you?

NoBowie
17th December 11, 07:14 PM
do those have credit card swipes, cuz we all know NoB doesn't mess with the filthy prole money

It's like you are spying on me.

Spade: The Real Snake
17th December 11, 07:58 PM
I AM THE GODDAMN BATMAN!!!!!


Sent by telekinesis via Cerebro

Harpy
18th December 11, 05:16 AM
Does that work for you?
I've got a setup at home. Allows me to be anti-social.

I wonder if CommPip has worked out at all these last few days.

Robot Jesus
18th December 11, 09:57 AM
Alchohols are not carbs and most alchoholic drinks are low carb http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art580.asp!

Do yiu mean they are high and empty calorific?


Remember that alcohol is still a fuel. Alcohol provides calories to your body, and is one of the four types of substances that your body can metabolize into fat, along with carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.

so what good is that list then, if alcohol provides calories then wouldn't an equivalency table be more useful?


One of my pet peeves is fuckers resting on the machines. If you need a rest between sets, get up, move around and go back. Quit fucking squatting on the machines.

So this morning, as I am moving from station to station, I look over and see some fucker taking a goddamn nap on the leg press machine.

It didn't affect me, cuz I wasn't going to use it, but sweet jebus. I named the old coffin-dodger "Commodore Pipes" and rolled on.

my pet peeve is people doing weird ass shit. the other week I saw a woman using the "crotch stretcher" machine with about a 2 inch range of motion. just why?

Spade: The Real Snake
18th December 11, 10:50 AM
Seriously though, cycling 5 times through 12 different machines and at 10 reps sounds ghey. What's your aim there Snake?
OK, I'm not on my phone so I can give you a little longer explanation.

When I first started weightstraining in my high school "Weights" class, it was pretty much benchsquatdead. That's it. In college....pretty much the same thing.

For years I actually hated weights because it was so goddamn boring and I was always doing someone else's program. I never felt comfortable enough to play around with the programs and do something for myself as I always figured:

-X- know better than I

At the martial arts studio, it was the same thing. We had a bench and some dumbbells so it was benchcurls.

When we started using the PD gym, it was a nice gym with tons of equipment and when the missus was going to try and test to be LEO and needed to pass the POPAT, I came up with a program for her that utilized weightstraining for all the different motions and drills she needed to perform.

It took a couple of weeks of being in the gym and just trying shit out and getting it to work. Here try this. Huh, let try this.

When I started going to this current gym, I felt out of place because it wasn't the gym and the machines and the program I was used to....the program I gave someone else.

So I just said fuck it and started thinking about the motions I use in my training. My punches and my throws and what I could do to improve my power and control and stability and transitions and quick-burst and grip and resistance to muscle fatigue.

I started out doing 3-minute boxing rounds and doing 8 different exercises and went with a 4 round prelim style match. I was used to this framework from when I boxed and figured "I should be able to throw 300 punches in a 4-rounder" and started from there, allowing myself one-minute "on the stool" time.

I added two more exercise stations and started having trouble getting through the extra 20 reps in 3 minutes, so I decided I would make it equivalent to two sanda rounds without rest.

I then added two additional stations of 10 reps each and just made it a 5 minute MMA round and decided to go to 5 rounds.

All total I usually end up doing 600 reps per work out, with decreasing weight and I try to change it around to set-back plateaus.

It might not sound like the best workout strategy and I am sure someone a helluva lot more knowledgeable (REESE) than I will surely tell me what I am doing wrong and how I can improve it, but for right now it is working for me.

Cullion
18th December 11, 10:51 AM
my pet peeve is people doing weird ass shit. the other week I saw a woman using the "crotch stretcher" machine with about a 2 inch range of motion. just why?

maybe it was some kind of physiotherapy for an injury?

Spade: The Real Snake
18th December 11, 10:53 AM
maybe it was some kind of physiotherapy for an injury?
are you suggesting Robot Jebus was a little rough on that gal's crotch?

Adouglasmhor
18th December 11, 12:35 PM
so what good is that list then, if alcohol provides calories then wouldn't an equivalency table be more useful?



Maybe it is because a Calorie is a Calorie and people can work it out for themselves, stil doesn't make alcohol a carb, it was a carb before the yeast ate it and excreted it.

Commodore Pipes
19th December 11, 11:22 AM
I wonder if CommPip has worked out at all these last few days.

Yep. Mostly cardio on the weekends.

Harpy
19th December 11, 04:16 PM
Good work, keep it up :)

Spade: The Real Snake
19th December 11, 04:20 PM
I'm trying to get my swoll on so I can finally bed the Lulzxy in accordance with Scrapper's Rules

Harpy
19th December 11, 04:31 PM
:/ punk

Harpy
24th January 12, 05:56 AM
Pippie!! Have you been getting your Longstockings on and working that ass??!

Commodore Pipes
24th January 12, 04:11 PM
Yep, and I am a big, fat pussy, but hopefully getting less pussy-ish with every passing day.

Spade: The Real Snake
24th January 12, 04:23 PM
Yep, and I am a big, fat pussy, but hopefully getting less pussy-ish with every passing day.
Listen Puppybelly.

I am going to give you the secret that none of these other greedy faygz are willing to share:

ZUMBA.

You need to find out when the Zumba class is being held and *that's* when you go workout.

Nothing will inspire you to lift more than trying to impress the lithe and lean nubile ZumbaHotties clad in tight fitting yoga pants and bare midriff tops.

And when none of them will give you a sideways glance because you are a fat pussy, nothing will inspire you to lose weight and watch what you eat like trying to catch a fleeting glimpse of a ZumbaChippy while you lift more, trying to impress them.

'cept maybe CrossfitGirls. But *YOU* aren't ready for that.

Cullion
24th January 12, 04:35 PM
Is somebody else going to tell him that everybody can leg-press way more than they can squat, or shall I ?

Spade: The Real Snake
24th January 12, 04:52 PM
I just gave him the Zumba secret.
Let's not overload the poor boy.

Harpy
24th January 12, 08:06 PM
Cullion - He doesn't want to give up the only thing that makes him feel good about himself.

Pippie, let's say you're becoming less of a fat boombah with each passing day rather than insulting womenfolk cos you don't have that right!

NoBowie
25th January 12, 02:28 AM
And when none of them will give you a sideways glance because you are a fat pussy, nothing will inspire you to lose weight and watch what you eat like trying to catch a fleeting glimpse of a ZumbaChippy while you lift more, trying to impress them.

'cept maybe CrossfitGirls. But *YOU* aren't ready for that.

***sigh***

So I suppose I have to start with trying to impress the women at dunkin' donuts, then move up to the women at curves, then the zumba women, then crossfit? What order / steps are there?

Spade: The Real Snake
25th January 12, 10:34 AM
***sigh***

So I suppose I have to start with trying to impress the women at the nursing home, then the assisted living home, then Walmart, then dunkin' donuts, then move up to the women at curves, then the "Mommy And Me" low impact yoga, then F.L.A.G. (Fight Like A Girl) self-defense class, then Tae Bo, then cardio Kickboxing, thenzumba women, then crossfit? What order / steps are there?

My work here is done, This house is clear.

OZZ
25th January 12, 10:43 AM
I was at the gym yesterday..man, all the chicks were diggin me..
I'm so cool. :icon_guitar:

Commodore Pipes
27th January 12, 01:51 AM
Is somebody else going to tell him that everybody can leg-press way more than they can squat, or shall I ?

Did you just get here? Their gayness was firmly established by the fifth post or so.

Harpy
12th September 12, 06:42 AM
Man down!

Snake, how did you lose Commie? (I'm worried about him) :/

Spade: The Real Snake
12th September 12, 08:08 AM
You can lead the fatty to the gym, but you cannot keep him from the post-gym Golden Corral visit.

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 05:11 PM
Pipsey, where the fuck are you?
We aren't done with the likes of you.

Harpy
30th November 12, 06:11 PM
He must be ultra busy with two young kids, hope he carves out some 'me' time.

Spade: The Real Snake
30th November 12, 06:15 PM
I read this as:

He's getting fatter

Spade: The Real Snake
10th January 14, 07:05 PM
Let me just re-state, the obvious:

Commode Pipesmoker is now the new Admiral Bitchtits McFawnbottom.

NoBowie
23rd August 17, 03:09 PM
http://i.imgur.com/BhdjZYc.gif