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Lebell
21st May 10, 11:18 AM
Aaah Good old Europe, that silly weird appendix of Russia.
Home to so many pittoresque countries and cultures you can visit and laugh at.

It used to be a happy continent, over the centuries we formed our nations and to each its own:our religions, our languages and our currencies.
Every 10 years or so a brutal war to keep us sharp.
It wasa simple life and it was a happy life, after all we didnt know any better.
This mindset caused the European to devellop into a dynamic, pro active figure, for our greed and curiosity we sailed the world, discovered continents, comited genocides, and spread technology.
We ruled the world, and the Europeans only enemy was another European.

Then Napoleon came and he thought it would be kinda nice to expand his land a bit.
Before Napoleon two kings would argue, one would invade the others country, they'd roam the countryside to pillage rape and murder until there was a battle.
After the maiming and killing was done the loser agreed to pay tax to the victor.
Until the next war ofcourse.


Napoleon and his frenchies introduced a whole other system that hadnt really been seen since roman times: total occupation and attempts to assimilate other nations into the own nation.
Nappy thought it would be a good idea to also go wtfpwn Russia and that would lead him to the end.
If there's one thing all Europeans know:do NOT go and try to wtfpwn Russia, just leave em to their wodka and pray they dont get imperial aspirations.

After Nappy England was the ruling empire and it pillaged the world for some time.
On the mainland the Habsburg empire ruled and there was much focus on the colonies and how we could rape them most effectively.
All was good again.

Then late 19th and early 20th century the powers that were began to crumble, the old fashionned monarchies werent fit to lead ever faster chaging nations, changed beyond recognistion thanks to industrial revolution and other aspects we wont go into right now.

When the ruling classes of Europe desintegrated it caused ww1.
Germany and France immediately jumped at eachothers throats cheerd on by england who thought it would get better of the conflict.
And Europe was at its favorite hobby again: massacring other Europeans, but now by the millions!
fucking awesome, i really recommend any non european toursit to go visit ww1 museums to see the sick shit they came up with to maim and kill.
very creative but you'll need a strong stomach for it.
To this day the explosive units of the french and belgians are STILL clearing mines and bombs from ww1.

Then after ww1 the crash came, global crisis and uncle Adolf decided that a EU wasnt sucha stupid idea after all.
His EU didnt last long and the carnage was unlike anything we've ever seen before or after ww2.

This is a keypoint for understanding Europe: ww2.
Each day in the media there's some remark, reference of ww2.
Our morals are measured by that standards to this day.
(berlusconi calling a german eu-mp a nice kapo, for example)
After the closest thing to Armageddon and some 55 million casualties post war europe decided to make work of an EU, so this kinda crap may never happen again.

This was the main reason the EU came into existance, and its also the main cause for modern day rulers not willing to abandon the idea of a unified europe as if it were one nation.


my next post i will go into the relationships between the european nations, explained in a way that even americans can understand it.

Cullion
21st May 10, 11:26 AM
You have to find a way to bring Islam into this.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
21st May 10, 11:28 AM
Not in Lebell's EU he doesn't.

BadUglyMagic
21st May 10, 12:15 PM
Aaah Good old Europe, t


my next post i will go into the relationships between the european nations, explained in a way that even americans can understand it.



Not real Amuricans.

Kiko
21st May 10, 12:59 PM
I'm not even sure most Europeans would understand that. Was that supposed to be in English???

'pittoresque'?? WTF?

And did you call England 'NAPPY'? That's RACIST!!!

lant3rn
21st May 10, 01:08 PM
There is not enough sexcs with the violence Lebell. Makes your little narrative a little boring.

nihilist
21st May 10, 01:54 PM
my next post i will go into the relationships between the european nations, explained in a way that even americans can understand it.

We already know about the incest.

Ajamil
21st May 10, 03:34 PM
Nappy Bone is the coolest name shortening EVAR!!

My understanding was a lot of the tension leading to WW1 came from Queen Elizabeth basically making all the ruling houses of Europe related, then dying leaving a power vacuum that every niece, nephew, and cousin wanted to fill.

Adouglasmhor
22nd May 10, 01:07 PM
Nappy Bone is the coolest name shortening EVAR!!

My understanding was a lot of the tension leading to WW1 came from Queen Victoria basically making all the ruling houses of Europe related, then dying leaving a power vacuum that every niece, nephew, and cousin wanted to fill.

Fixed.

Also for Lebel England does not Equal United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland or equal United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland as it was before partition.

I am considering saying Holland instead of the Netherlands in retaliation.

Cullion
22nd May 10, 01:37 PM
Nappy Bone is the coolest name shortening EVAR!!

My understanding was a lot of the tension leading to WW1 came from Queen Elizabeth basically making all the ruling houses of Europe related, then dying leaving a power vacuum that every niece, nephew, and cousin wanted to fill.

I dunno. Parliaments had more power by then.

I like this left-wing anarchist's theory better

-5267640865741878159#

(sorry, it's 45 minutes long he starts talking about WWI around 9.30)

Lebell
22nd May 10, 01:51 PM
before partition.

I am considering saying Holland instead of the Netherlands in retaliation.

fine with me.
after all we are holland, plus some peasant lands where we come for fun and relaxation.
but the industries etc all are in holland.

Conde Koma
22nd May 10, 02:07 PM
get to the european relationships, i'm dying to hear what they are.

my old french teacher just said that italians are widely considered lazy, but that's about all i've heard. Oh, and belgians hate being called french.

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 02:52 PM
^both those claims are true

Cullion
22nd May 10, 02:59 PM
All the mediterranean nations are considered lazy and dishonest. The French make fun of Belgians in the same way Canadians make fun of Newfoundlanders. There's still some lingering resentment against Germans for WWII, even between people who are too young to have been there.

Eastern Europeans are all bodybuilding construction workers, bouncers and gangsters who like drinking.

Scandinavians are tall, healthy, honest and efficient but sometimes a bit dull.

Kein Haar
22nd May 10, 03:13 PM
Where do the Baltic assholes fit into this?

Cuz the Lithuanians style of conflict resolution (at least between themselves) involves home invasions and beatings and stuff. Not even done in a way resembling sneaky or with concern about being caught.

Cullion
22nd May 10, 03:15 PM
Anybody from the former Warsaw pact fits under the 'Eastern European' stereotype.

Blue collar worker with a really physical job, or criminal with a propensity to the lower-brow and more violent forms of semi-organised crime (like protection rackets, bank robbery, or dealing in soviet-bloc surplus weaponry). Likes a drink. Often encountered in MMA gyms and the free-weights room.

The women are of course likely to work behind a bar or be involved in the adult entertainment industry.

Nobody's totally sure what the Eastern European intelligentsia back home are up to. We suspect it involves chess and trying to persuade their new Western European friends that socialism really isn't that good an idea. And playing chicken with Putin's intelligence services.

Kein Haar
22nd May 10, 03:15 PM
Proper!

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 04:40 PM
All the mediterranean nations are considered lazy and dishonest. The French make fun of Belgians in the same way Canadians make fun of Newfoundlanders. There's still some lingering resentment against Germans for WWII, even between people who are too young to have been there.

Eastern Europeans are all bodybuilding construction workers, bouncers and gangsters who like drinking.

Scandinavians are tall, healthy, honest and efficient but sometimes a bit dull.
And the Finns are insane.

Adouglasmhor
22nd May 10, 04:47 PM
fine with me.
after all we are holland, plus some peasant lands where we come for fun and relaxation.
but the industries etc all are in holland.

Grolsch does not come from Holland. What else do you make in NL apart from Hookers, Porn and Weed?

Cullion
22nd May 10, 05:14 PM
And the Finns are insane.

I've never really gotten to know a finn, but I've read about their history with the Russians, and they are apparently not to be fucked with on their home turf, even when massively outnumbered and outgunned.

Cullion
22nd May 10, 05:16 PM
Grolsch does not come from Holland. What else do you make in NL apart from Hookers, Porn and Weed?

The world's biggest market research company (by a huge margin) is based somewhere in the Netherlands. Holland is the Netherlands, right?

Adouglasmhor
22nd May 10, 05:30 PM
The world's biggest market research company (by a huge margin) is based somewhere in the Netherlands. Holland is the Netherlands, right?

I s see what you did there. English are dirty bowsies.

Cullion
22nd May 10, 05:32 PM
We try our best.

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 06:31 PM
I've never really gotten to know a finn, but I've read about their history with the Russians, and they are apparently not to be fucked with on their home turf, even when massively outnumbered and outgunned.
imagine every conceivable way you can consume vodka
+ saunas
+ knives
+ made up language
+ Linux
+ what cold weather does to people
= Finns

nihilist
22nd May 10, 06:40 PM
My grandmother was full finn.

Perhaps that's why my drug of choice is Vodka...

Cullion
22nd May 10, 06:42 PM
+Linux


Linus Torvalds is an ethnic swede. I guess the other finns don't spend much time dicking around with computers.

Good.

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 06:53 PM
You can't trust swedes, you know.

Cullion
22nd May 10, 06:59 PM
But they seem so goofy and innocent..

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 07:07 PM
Oh sure, they seem fine.. But ask yourself, would you trust a neutral country?

Cullion
22nd May 10, 07:10 PM
I'm British. We just rely on the force and hope that their consciences move them at the critical moment whilst we're attacking the Death Star.

EuropIan
22nd May 10, 07:13 PM
So, basically, no.

But you hope you can.

nihilist
22nd May 10, 07:13 PM
Oh sure, they seem fine.. But ask yourself, would you trust a neutral country?


Cullion is fascinated by a people who could go either way...

Vieux Normand
22nd May 10, 08:16 PM
England does not Equal United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland or equal United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland as it was before partition.

This is actually a favourite retort of mine when a self-identified "English" person asks me where I'm from and--hearing my response--blurts out with typical wit: "There is no separate country named 'Normandy'..."

...as if there's a separate country named 'England'.

As for Finns, the ones I've met are pretty self-effacing about their recent military past: more than one has joked about "an army on bicycles trying to fend off tanks".

'Course, letting on such an attitude may well be a ruse...

nihilist
22nd May 10, 08:18 PM
Hey, it worked in AVATAR.

Cullion
23rd May 10, 04:40 AM
The Finns really did stand up to the Soviets despite being massively outnumbered and outgunned.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dc/Winter_war.jpg
They look a bit like the rebel defenders on Hoth, don't they ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War

The Soviets had 3 times as many troops, 30 times as many aircraft and a hundred times as many tanks.

Kein Haar
23rd May 10, 05:36 AM
Ah, but the Finns had Paavo Nurmi.

Cullion
23rd May 10, 05:39 AM
http://www.iaaf.org/mm/photo/competitions/other/34921_w400xh600.jpg

There's something Wisconsin-looking about that guy.

Kein Haar
23rd May 10, 05:40 AM
I already told you there's a Wisconsin marathon with his namesake.

http://www.paavonurmimarathon.com/

Cullion
23rd May 10, 05:44 AM
It's all fitting together!

Ajamil
23rd May 10, 06:16 AM
So when Lebell rails on about the Dutch's effort in WW2, he's wanting to look Finnish?

Cullion
23rd May 10, 06:23 AM
Yes.

honesty
24th May 10, 03:43 AM
get to the european relationships, i'm dying to hear what they are.

my old french teacher just said that italians are widely considered lazy, but that's about all i've heard. Oh, and belgians hate being called french.

Hey. I resent that. Us Italians arent lazy, were corrupt (and lazy). Get it right.

Adouglasmhor
24th May 10, 04:27 AM
Hey. I resent that. Us Italians arent lazy, were corrupt (and lazy). Get it right.

That's south Italians, Northern Italians are hard working and conscientious right wing nutters.

honesty
24th May 10, 05:44 AM
Nah, the north just hides it better... ;)

Vieux Normand
24th May 10, 02:25 PM
Nah, the north just hides it better... ;)

...which certainly requires no effort.

Cullion
24th May 10, 02:28 PM
If you think Italians are lethargic and easy-going, you've never driven on their roads.

Lebell
24th May 10, 03:10 PM
If you think Italians are lethargic and easy-going, you've never driven on their roads.

or been caught red handed while doing their momz.
luckily it is true they're lazy cos i could easily outrun them.

Vieux Normand
24th May 10, 10:21 PM
If you think Italians are lethargic and easy-going, you've never driven on their roads.

Those roads? Yes sir, I have--several near-destroyed chassis and kidneys can attest that nothing has been done to maintain them for decades.

honesty
25th May 10, 03:07 AM
Ah Italian roads. Great fun. They have got better in the last 30 years. I now see Italian drivers stop for lights. And not sit on their horn. Its amazing!

Lebell
25th May 10, 03:24 AM
So, in this post i'll finally explain how Europeans see eachother.
Keep in mind these are general views stereotypes, so not just the english or german views, its a combination of all of these.

The French: tricky, slippery as snakes, good food, bit girly, civilised, unwilling to speak foreign languages.
Tend to take credit for wars they didnt win.


The Germans: Cold, smart, punctual, stiff, loudmouths while on holiday, unwilling to speak foreign languages.
Tend to invade Poland and start big wars.

The Austrians: same as the germans, except they ski better.
Tend to help Germany to invade Poland and start big wars.

The English: excentric islandweirdo's, stiff upperlip, annoying footballhooligans, horrible cuisineonly and ditto weather.
Tend to declare war on Germany when it invades Poland and starts a big war.

The Scandinavians: lolwho? oh the blonde ones...
Tend to stay neutral when it comes to invading and big wars.

Icelanders: more trouble then they are worth, tend to make money vanish and have annoying vulcanos.
Wasnt even discovered when Poland was invaded.

The Irish: Not so bad when they would stop drinking so civilisation can kick in.
Tend to help the English when they declare war if Germany is invading Poland.

The Spanish: lazy faggots, but somewhat amusing for their temper.Great holiday destination.
Tend to have fascist dictators that team up with Germany.

The Portugese: they cost us money, also lazy faggots.Great holiday destination.
Tend to have fascist dictators in the same fashion as Spain.

The Italians: Dramatic mamma's boys, speak with their hands a lot, sneaky, cant count on them, but great food.
Also: great holiday destination.
Tend to have dictators that team up with Germany when it invades Poland.


The Greeks: give us our goddamn money back, you hairy sad excuses for turks!
Tend to get invaded when there's a big war.

The Belgians:

-The Flemmish: somewhat slow and dumb, but enjoy life and good natured people, also good sense of humor.

-the Wallonians: wannabe frenchies and overall useless.
Tend to help the english when Germany invades Polandand the English declare war on Germany.

The Dutch:

Good with money, always out for their own profit, lapdog of Germany when it comes to European affairs.
Weird social lifes.
Tend to make money when England and Germany have a war about Germany invading Poland.

Poland: Alcoholics.
Tend to get invaded.

Central/East Europeans: bunch of drunk weirdo's who got shoved down our throats, we send em taxmoney and they send us....???? profit.
Tend to join the commies.

honesty
25th May 10, 03:43 AM
You missed a little bit from the following stereotypes:

French: bad personal hygiene. Piss and crap anywhere. Seriously I saw a guy pissing against a lamppost in the middle of a village mid afternoon, and he wasn't even drunk. Plus have you seen their motorway rest stops? The horror!

Spanish: Incredibly racist. On a level with old British people when they talk about Africa racist.

Italians: Cowards. I mean their tanks have 3 reverse gears right?

Greeks: Greasy slime balls who like back door action.

The British: Piss heads with empire issues and a general low level xenophobia about anything not British/English speaking. Doesn't like the dirty foreigner.

Cullion
25th May 10, 03:55 AM
Ah Italian roads. Great fun. They have got better in the last 30 years. I now see Italian drivers stop for lights. And not sit on their horn. Its amazing!

I can tell the difference between a working class and a middle class Italian by how they abuse other drivers. Working class Italians lean out of the window and yell abuse. Educated middle class Italians just give a snooty but calm look and make a hand gesture that seems to roughly translate as 'what's your problem ?'

Lebell
25th May 10, 03:55 AM
You missed a little bit from the following stereotypes:

French: bad personal hygiene. Piss and crap anywhere. Seriously I saw a guy pissing against a lamppost in the middle of a village mid afternoon, and he wasn't even drunk. Plus have you seen their motorway rest stops? The horror!


The only thing ive noticed bout the french are the following: they are short, they have nice bread called brioche, and they all smell like garlic.

one time i was in paris asking directions and i swear all the 5 or 6 people i asked all had a mega garlic breath.

my french was pretty okay at the time but it still wasnt enough for them: 'your accent is peculiar, are you flemmish?'

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:00 AM
Do Europeans have a single national stereotype for Americans like we do for their individual countries or do they acknowledge multiple American stereotypes?

honesty
25th May 10, 04:05 AM
European stereotype of Americans: You're all loud and stupid.

Cullion
25th May 10, 04:06 AM
What honesty said plus 'religious nutbar' as a common stereotype.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:07 AM
What about 'mericans from LA, Frisco, and New York?

Lebell
25th May 10, 04:08 AM
Do Europeans have a single national stereotype for Americans like we do for their individual countries or do they acknowledge multiple American stereotypes?

Depends on what part of Europe the stereotype is coming from.
A central-eastern European will have a diff stereotype of americans then a german or french person.

and also: east coast, west coast or deep south americans differ quite a lot.

The one thing americans have in common is this: no matter what location of the usa they are from, no matter what race or gender: they all talk too loud, are completely ignorant of local social rules and thnk people are very interested to know that they are from ' the states'.

Last sunday in fact i joined my gf and her italian friends for a drink in some pub.
Just one table next to us some american douchebag is talking on maximumvolume ABOUT HOW HE THINK DUTCH GUYS ARE JUST LAME AND WEIRD to his weird asian date, prob american too.

The people at my table held their breath cos usually i just walk over there and have soe fun instead I STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW AMERICANS ALWAYS THINK THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN SPEAK ENGLISH AND THAT THEY SEEM TO HAVE A HEARING PROBLEM BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS TALK SO LOUD.

hehehe.
that shut him up good.

honesty
25th May 10, 04:09 AM
The only thing ive noticed bout the french are the following: they are short, they have nice bread called brioche, and they all smell like garlic.

one time i was in paris asking directions and i swear all the 5 or 6 people i asked all had a mega garlic breath.

my french was pretty okay at the time but it still wasnt enough for them: 'your accent is peculiar, are you flemmish?'

My main dealings with the French have left me with this opinion, the Northerners are really arrogant. If you don't speak French well they will usually just ignore you, the southerners are more open and friendly.

Cullion
25th May 10, 04:10 AM
People who speak good English would be able to distinguish a New York accent, but other than that most Europeans wouldn't have different stereotypes in behaviour for people from NY, LA and SF. Some might associate the west coast with hippydom and cranky new age ideas.

There's a chance they'd associate being from the 'deep south' with racism and increased religious zealotry.

Lebell
25th May 10, 04:10 AM
My main dealings with the French have left me with this opinion, the Northerners are really arrogant. If you don't speak French well they will usually just ignore you, the southerners are more open and friendly.

yes thats my idea too.
north sucks, south is pretty laid back and more mediterenean.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:12 AM
cool
when i go to europe i'm totally going to troll in a pair of bermuda shorts and a dingy t-shirt advertising fast food. maybe a fanny pack. they really can't tell a fake southern drawl from a real one, can they?

Lebell
25th May 10, 04:18 AM
cool
when i go to europe i'm totally going to troll in a pair of bermuda shorts and a dingy t-shirt advertising fast food. maybe a fanny pack. they really can't tell a fake southern drawl from a real one, can they?

nope.
i think you'll find the overall attitude of the average european will be: lolol! americans!
not hostile or overly positive.
we just try to ignore you guys.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:20 AM
You won't be able to ignore me when I'm in the middle of Eiffel Tower Square or whatever the fuck they call it shouting out, "LOOK MA THEY ACTUALLY EAT FUCKIN SNAILS HERE"

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:21 AM
"Why THE FUCK you sellin me rotten cheese Frenchie?"

Cullion
25th May 10, 04:21 AM
Probably not.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 04:23 AM
"No you snooty piece a shit I said I wanted my sandwich on WONDERBREAD"

Lebell
25th May 10, 04:30 AM
You won't be able to ignore me when I'm in the middle of Eiffel Tower Square or whatever the fuck they call it shouting out, "LOOK MA THEY ACTUALLY EAT FUCKIN SNAILS HERE"

wanna bet?

personally ive witnessed the following things:

walking through citycenter to go to the supermarket (citycenter is late medieval): OH MAI GOD, DID YOU READ THAT? THAT BUILDING IS FROM 1150AD! THATS JUST CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!'


or on the market:' OMAI GOD DID YOU SEE THAT? SHE JUST TOUCHED THOSE THINGS WITH HER HANDS...NO SHE WASNT WEARING ANY GLOVES...AND ITS FOOD..THATS GROOOOOOSSSSSSSS'

3 americans walking on the middle of a fucking road, byciclist tries to pass by: OH IM SORRY DUDE, I DIDNT SEE YOU ON UR NICE LITTLE BIKE, HEY YOU WANNA SELL IT?

byciclist gets angry, stops and asks what their fucking problem is: ITS ALL GOOD, WE WERE JUST JOKNG, NO PROBLEMS HERE...


my favorite: two americans wonder in the roughest bar of town, where i happened to have a quiet pint.
its almost closing time and last orders were called, sothe bartender isnt gong to give e any drinks.
big american guy kicks off: IM A FUCKING QUARTERBACK, ILL FUCKING FIGHT ANYONE OF YOU!! BRING IT ON!

the whole bar jumped up as one man and chased him down the street.

an american exchange student met my fist one time by misunderstanding: he was speaking ghettotalk and called me 'dawg', his mistake was to assume that i as european would understand american slang.
if you call me a dog it's on.

ever since i chuckle when i hear people say 'dawg'.

honesty
25th May 10, 04:53 AM
Yep, sorry to say MJS but all those I've heard variations of from real American tourists. You will literally just been seen as just another loud stupid racist American.

Also, if you try that in Paris, unless you say it in perfect French they will ignore you. I have a friend who's an French to English translator. She lived in Paris for 6 months and would quite regularly be ignored by the Parisians because she wasn't accent perfect. All that is said about the Northern french being arrogant can be multiplied by 10 times when talking about the Parisians.

Lebell
25th May 10, 05:15 AM
you mean parigots.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 05:37 AM
So what if I just stand in the middle of gay Paris and shout "FUCK THE GODDAMN FRENCH" at the top of my lungs?

Lebell
25th May 10, 05:39 AM
So what if I just stand in the middle of gay Paris and shout "FUCK THE GODDAMN FRENCH" at the top of my lungs?

the same as if you'd scream fuck the usa in the middle of new york most likely.

Cullion
25th May 10, 05:41 AM
You will probably get arrested. You do not have that kind of freedom of speech anywhere in western europe, and French cops have no sense of humour. At all.

Lebell
25th May 10, 05:42 AM
true, french cops arent to mess with.
but if you'd get arrested it prob be cos you're yelling, public disturbance, its less important what you're yelling.

bob
25th May 10, 05:44 AM
I've noticed the British seem very sensitive to garlic. i like garlic in my food and was constantly told by Brits that i smelt like garlic. Nobody outside the UK has ever told me that. I think maybe you guys should learn to like garlic more.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 05:46 AM
Okay, what if I very loudly said "Fuck the goddamn French"?

honesty
25th May 10, 05:47 AM
Depending on the area of Paris you did it in, you'd probably get stabbed... ;)

Cullion
25th May 10, 05:47 AM
I've noticed the British seem very sensitive to garlic. i like garlic in my food and was constantly told by Brits that i smelt like garlic. Nobody outside the UK has ever told me that. I think maybe you guys should learn to like garlic more.

I don't know when you were in the UK, but considering the amount of spicy Indian and Chinese food consumed here I find that odd. That sounds like something from a generation ago.

Geijhan
25th May 10, 05:48 AM
The Belgians:

-The Flemmish: somewhat slow and dumb, but enjoy life and good natured people, also good sense of humor.

-the Wallonians: wannabe frenchies and overall useless.
Tend to help the english when Germany invades Polandand the English declare war on Germany.

Tend to have massive language-based rows with each other, especially right after a WW. (In WWI, the grunts tended to be badly-educated Flemish soldiers who had to guess what the french-speaking officers were yelling. Quite often led to lethal clusterfucks. "Et pour les Flamands, la mÍme chose!" ("and for the flemish, the same!", shouted after giving orders in French) can even get my blood up and I'm FAR from radically flemish.)


The Dutch:

Good with money, always out for their own profit, lapdog of Germany when it comes to European affairs.
Weird social lifes.
Tend to make money when England and Germany have a war about Germany invading Poland.



ALSO VERY LOUD TOURISTS. LESS AGRESSIVE THEN GERMAN OR ENGLISH TOURISTS BUT STILL LOUDER.
Strange culinary habits. Massive amounts of herring, liquorice and "bitterballen" get swallowed up but apart from that, they don't seem to have any kind of 'kitchen'.

Lebell
25th May 10, 05:55 AM
ALSO VERY LOUD TOURISTS. LESS AGRESSIVE THEN GERMAN OR ENGLISH TOURISTS BUT STILL LOUDER.
Strange culinary habits. Massive amounts of herring, liquorice and "bitterballen" get swallowed up but apart from that, they don't seem to have any kind of 'kitchen'.

guilty as charged.
:-(

Dr. Socially Liberal Fiscally Conservative Vermin
25th May 10, 07:06 AM
Okay, what if I very loudly said "Fuck the goddamn French"?

You should try it!

Kein Haar
25th May 10, 07:30 AM
Americans think Europeans give a shit about them?

Hmm...wonder why they'd have that idea?

It wouldn't be the rib-splitting gorging of American cultural products, would it?

I went to a couple dog training seminars in the past year. One teacher was french, the other swiss.

Once they got done shopping, they looked like Apu when he was trying to become a citizen.

http://sharetv.org/images/guide/350531.jpg

Cullion
25th May 10, 07:35 AM
They like the kitsch value of that stuff.

Don't for one minute kid yourself that they don't see you all as slightly comical barbarians in their cynical, deceptive, black little hearts.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 07:36 AM
But you still love the shit out of Levi's and eat at McDonald's.

Cullion
25th May 10, 07:39 AM
Our lower classes eat at McDonalds. I think Levis are a waste of money.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 07:44 AM
they cost like $160 in Britain right?
they cost about $40 here

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 07:49 AM
well, you watch our movies
we haven't even heard of your shit ass movies

Kein Haar
25th May 10, 07:51 AM
They like the kitsch value of that stuff.

Don't for one minute kid yourself that they don't see you all as slightly comical barbarians in their cynical, deceptive, black little hearts.

More than kitsch value. I was just using Apu's exaggerated expression for lulz.

Case in point:

When I worked in a sporting good/outdoorsy store, a couple swedes came in looking at some Northface products. Those are the fuckers who sell clothing made of plastic yarn (er, "fleece"), for hundreds of dollars.

So anyway, this responsible Swedish couple wanted to know if it was an American product.

I sez to them, I sez: "It's an American brand, but I don't know where it was made. Probably Sri Lanka or something."

They said "Hmpf! Probably by children!"

And they walked off.

Thing is, they were already decked out in matching outdoor performance gear (essentially identical to the stuff they were consulting me about). Black was the color, in fact.

That was also the store in which some Jamaican said my chronological prioritization of customers was racist, and he went on like that for minutes.
Cullion, please try to keep a lid on these nearby provinces. I held my tongue until I could consult you.

honesty
25th May 10, 07:51 AM
MJS, getting a little defensive there aren't you...

Kein Haar
25th May 10, 07:56 AM
He's got the right to be a little defensive.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 07:57 AM
like america needs defending

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 07:59 AM
I sez to them, I sez: "It's an American brand, but I don't know where it was made. Probably Sri Lanka or something."

They said "Hmpf! Probably by children!"

Good call. Their country of origin is "imported", which is even worse than when they actually name the third world shithole.

Kein Haar
25th May 10, 08:00 AM
Sri Lanka isn't that bad, actually.

That's where Arthur C. Clarke chose to move to fuck kids.

Kein Haar
25th May 10, 08:03 AM
The Venga Boys are NOT American.

As the french would say, tooshay.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 08:04 AM
cuz sri lanka's exchange rate on boy bookers
just look at this little polesmoker
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/1273233844651.jpg
i don't think you'd pay more than five dollars to have those lips on your knob

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th May 10, 08:05 AM
I am going to leave now before a parent reads my post.

Vieux Normand
25th May 10, 08:42 AM
Okay, what if I very loudly said "Fuck the goddamn French"?

For best results, say it in London.

In Arabic, so all the Londoners can understand.

Lebell
25th May 10, 09:19 AM
Americans think Europeans give a shit about them?

Hmm...wonder why they'd have that idea?

It wouldn't be the rib-splitting gorging of American cultural products, would it?

I went to a couple dog training seminars in the past year. One teacher was french, the other swiss.

Once they got done shopping, they looked like Apu when he was trying to become a citizen.

http://sharetv.org/images/guide/350531.jpg

kein proves americans indeed do not get sarcasm.
if i'd go to the usa (and i'd only do so if i had to pick up 5 million euros there) i'd buy all the ugly crap there too, when you get back home you can show your family:look what those idiots are wearing over there! lolol!

with the euro-usd exchange course it isnt like it costs them a lotta money.
;-)

Adouglasmhor
25th May 10, 09:44 AM
What about 'mericans from LA, Frisco, and New York?


Replace "Loud and Stupid" with "Loud and Whiny".

Adouglasmhor
25th May 10, 09:51 AM
My main dealings with the French have left me with this opinion, the Northerners are really arrogant. If you don't speak French well they will usually just ignore you, the southerners are more open and friendly.

Try speaking the wrong Northern dialect, they will look at you like you are barking like a dog.

Adouglasmhor
25th May 10, 09:56 AM
guilty as charged.
:-(

You told me you don't eat drop !!!!!

Adouglasmhor
25th May 10, 09:58 AM
well, you watch our movies
we haven't even heard of your shit ass movies

Usually only homosexuals and middle aged women watch our films.

Lebell
25th May 10, 10:14 AM
actually, most of the european and american movies are crap, but i will admit that the few movies i do like were made by americans, but never a huge mainstream hit.
my favs are big lebowski, clerks 1 and 2..and stuff from Lynch.

i never watch any hollywoodcrap.