50 Jeers for Gretzky

1. First of all, he is Canadian. Canada is and always will be america's hat (http://stuffandthingsblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/canada-americas-hat-tshirt-1.jpg). Canadians like hockey better than basketball, which was invented in Canuckistan. Lame. There is also an entire cult-like group of Canadians that have their own province (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec) and practice France worship.

Texan's want to secede from America because we aren't American enough. Quebec wants to secede from Canada because Canada is too much like America. Sacre' bleu!

2. A good general rule is the more equipment required for a sport, especially padding and sh!t, the lamer it is.

I can have combat sex using only the equipment God gave me. And I have never lost a game.

Hockey has sticks and pads and tampons and everything.

3. Also you have to play hockey on ice, how lame is that? At least field hockey can be played on grass so the girls can wear cute skirts. Gretzky's dad built a rink close to the house so he could watch his son from the kitchen without freezing his balls off. I guess the brains weren't passed down in that family.

4. Also, like a cliche famous person, he married some actress chick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Jones), but didn't trade up after a few years like he should have. He had more kids than me.

5. They try to make the hockey puck round like a real ball, but it is fake round cause it's squashed. It basically looks like a hostess ding dong (http://www.amazon.com/Hostess-Ding-Dongs-24-Cakes/dp/B0027AOIOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=grocery&qid=1265752918&sr=8-1), but it lacks cream filling. This is symbolic of impotency.

6. They make the goals so small that there aren't very many points scored, so basically the game has turned into an excuse for the players to check each other.

Hockey players should all quit and either take up a real combat sport or go figure skating (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104040/).

7. The bent stick in hockey symbolizes a flaccid, impotent penis.

8. They put the blades in hockey on their feet, blade down, instead of in their hands. It's like they are scared of blades but afraid to admit it. This is why swordfighters (http://www.flickr.com/photos/26347222@N00/1211404538) are way cooler than hockey players.

9. He was part owner of the Phoenix Coyotes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_Coyotes), a hockey team in Arizona. The fool! It is like 100 degrees for 4 months in a row down there. It barely ever gets below freezing. The ice will melt! ROFL.

10. Gretzky's first name is Wayne, which is what you would expect the mentally challenged kid in the back of the bus that everyone pretends to be nice to would be named.

And he kept it instead of changing it to something cool, like an infinity sign combined with the symbol for the male sex. When I am famous I will change my name to this:

http://nunonbreak.com/Feb10/gretsky.jpg

Anyways Hockey is lame and therefore so is Gretsky by association. My logical proof above is infallible and beyond reproach.

Take that you punks from the great white north and any US rednecks who like a sport where men fight over filling-less Ding-Dongs with flaccid wooden penises.

Alright, so I couldn't think of 50 right now, but I am sure there are a bunch more.

10. Guy's a complete tool.

11. Yeti would whoop him with our without skates.

I always thought Canada would be a very pretty girl if she just had some self-esteem.

Isn't Texas's motto "The State where men are men and sheep afraid."

He's from my hometown. My middle name is Wayne (not after him). I think I will go cry now. You guys are big.....meanies!

Texan's want to secede from America because we aren't American enough.
Only fringe-minded right-winged idiots have said that, and yes that includes our governer. If you want to condemn Texas, just look at the last two yahoos who we elected to the office. Apparently all our brainpower left the state shortly before Ann Richards lost the race for governer.


Isn't Texas's motto "The State where men are men and sheep afraid."
What's wrong with that?

12. His job's so easy, Russian bears can do it.

Only fringe-minded right-winged idiots have said that, and yes that includes our governer. If you want to condemn Texas, just look at the last two yahoos who we elected to the office. Apparently all our brainpower left the state shortly before Ann Richards lost the race for governer.



What's wrong with that?


did i say anything was wrong with that?

Also as a member of America's hat

We prefer the word Toque

LOL at Texans poking fun at ANYONE..fattest state in the union.
If hockey is such a wimp sport, put on some skates and try it ..then drop your gloves with any minor leaguer who would easily wipe the floor with you.
Everything is BIGGER in Texas..especially the waistlines.
Most McDonalds per capita..that's something to brag about.You guys have more murders in Texas in a year than our entire country does in two years..yeah, that's something to be proud of.
FAT, CRIMINAL, LOUD MOUTHED and living off a the rep from your days as an oil-producing state. Everyone knows Texas is DRY..whatcha gonna do now?
You only wish you lived in a country as beautiful as ours.

Fattest state? When did Texas pass Mississippi? Besides, better way to rile Texans is to mention that if Alaska were split into thirds, Texas would be the 4th largest state.

LOL at Texans poking fun at ANYONE..fattest state in the union.
If hockey is such a wimp sport, put on some skates and try it ..then drop your gloves with any minor leaguer who would easily wipe the floor with you.
Everything is BIGGER in Texas..especially the waistlines.
Most McDonalds per capita..that's something to brag about.You guys have more murders in Texas in a year than our entire country does in two years..yeah, that's something to be proud of.
FAT, CRIMINAL, LOUD MOUTHED and living off a the rep from your days as an oil-producing state. Everyone knows Texas is DRY..whatcha gonna do now?
You only wish you lived in a country as beautiful as ours.
I know someone who likes limp phallic symbols!

Go suck the cream out of another ding-dong and hit it around the ice box. LOL.

PS. The state of Washington could kick Canadas ass all by its lonesome.

PSS Middle Canadian accents sound more redneck than southerners do.

PSSS You have a coin named after your mental state.

I always thought Canada would be a very pretty girl if she just had some self-esteem.

BTW if Canada being situated above the US is America's hat

What is Texas at the bottom in the middle ?

BTW if Canada being situated above the US is America's hat

What is Texas at the bottom in the middle ?

America's large, fat pen0r.

What do you think that 'yellow rose of Texas' song is about?

I thought that was Florida. Do we have two penors? We're so awesome! And if Canada is our hat - is Alaska our ponytail? Is Hawaii a little bit of offal that dropped off California?

Canada's per capita ratio of doughnut shops is higher than any other country's.

Canada's per capita ratio of doughnut shops is higher than any other country's.
It's them fucking mountie cops. Canuckistan is full of them. Being a mountie was Gretzky's backup plan if hockey didn't work.

Can you play ice hockey on horses? Like...ice polo, maybe? How well can horses skate?

LOL at Texans poking fun at ANYONE..fattest state in the union.
If hockey is such a wimp sport, put on some skates and try it ..then drop your gloves with any minor leaguer who would easily wipe the floor with you.
Everything is BIGGER in Texas..especially the waistlines.
Most McDonalds per capita..that's something to brag about.You guys have more murders in Texas in a year than our entire country does in two years..yeah, that's something to be proud of.
FAT, CRIMINAL, LOUD MOUTHED and living off a the rep from your days as an oil-producing state. Everyone knows Texas is DRY..whatcha gonna do now?
You only wish you lived in a country as beautiful as ours.
I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who is as ignorant about my state as you.

I will tell you a few things though. We are not the fattest state in the union. If you meant dry as in lack of rainfall, I guess you have a point. I wouldn't know about McDonalds. I never eat there, or any other fast food joint for that matter. Having the most murders just keeps us on our toes, it's a leftover from being a lawless place where only the fittest survive.

While I do admit to having a bit of pride in being from Texas, I'm also not afraid to poke fun at my state. Can you do the same?

Typically at this point, if I was your average unintelligent person, I'd make some disparing and stereotyping remarks about Canadians or people from Ontario, but I despise people who make stupid generalizations. Remarks like that merely reveal the ignorance of the person making them.

Tell you what, you're still in your thirties right? Let's both post barechested photos and everyone else can judge who is fitter. I'm a fat Texan (as well as being 41), right? What do you have to lose?

I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who is as ignorant about my state as you.

I will tell you a few things though. We are not the fattest state in the union. If you meant dry as in lack of rainfall, I guess you have a point. I wouldn't know about McDonalds. I never eat there, or any other fast food joint for that matter. Having the most murders just keeps us on our toes, it's a leftover from being a lawless place where only the fittest survive.

While I do admit to having a bit of pride in being from Texas, I'm also not afraid to poke fun at my state. Can you do the same?

Typically at this point, if I was your average unintelligent person, I'd make some disparing and stereotyping remarks about Canadians or people from Ontario, but I despise people who make stupid generalizations. Remarks like that merely reveal the ignorance of the person making them.

Tell you what, you're still in your thirties right? Let's both post barechested photos and everyone else can judge who is fitter. I'm a fat Texan (as well as being 41), right? What do you have to lose?


PLEASE no this site is homoerotic enough with out guy posting nekid pictures

Canada's per capita ratio of doughnut shops is higher than any other country's.

That's cause Tim Hortons Canada's national doughnut shops are fucking awesome

In fact we're going to take over your Gold deposits like Goldfinger but sucessfully

http://www.canada.com/news/Hortons+strikes+gold+opens+Fort+Knox/2095941/story.html Tim Hortons at Fort Knox suckers!!!

The secret is their coffee contains 8.5% crack

Damn it's almost 2 and I am craving a double double and fruit explosion muffin and sour cream doughnut

I am going to sleep so I can wake up and get some

I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who is as ignorant about my state as you.

I will tell you a few things though. We are not the fattest state in the union. If you meant dry as in lack of rainfall, I guess you have a point. I wouldn't know about McDonalds. I never eat there, or any other fast food joint for that matter. Having the most murders just keeps us on our toes, it's a leftover from being a lawless place where only the fittest survive.

While I do admit to having a bit of pride in being from Texas, I'm also not afraid to poke fun at my state. Can you do the same?

Typically at this point, if I was your average unintelligent person, I'd make some disparing and stereotyping remarks about Canadians or people from Ontario, but I despise people who make stupid generalizations. Remarks like that merely reveal the ignorance of the person making them.

Tell you what, you're still in your thirties right? Let's both post barechested photos and everyone else can judge who is fitter. I'm a fat Texan (as well as being 41), right? What do you have to lose?

It's okay, jnp. OZZ seems to think there is a problem with a site when it doesn't have a thriving sports section (I think it's a glandular thing).

Yep, she could really be the belle of the ball.

Gretzky is on his own. He turn his back on Edmonton, like a reverse loyalist and fled to the states to count his money.

The last time we tried to win a gold at the Olympics, he was the CEO of team Canada, the brain that had us getting beat by the Italians.

He is yours now...you can keep him.

PLEASE no this site is homoerotic enough with out guy posting nekid pictures
Since when does bare chested equal naked?

I suppose if you REALLY want some naked pictures of me I can oblige.

I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who is as ignorant about my state as you.

I will tell you a few things though. We are not the fattest state in the union. If you meant dry as in lack of rainfall, I guess you have a point. I wouldn't know about McDonalds. I never eat there, or any other fast food joint for that matter. Having the most murders just keeps us on our toes, it's a leftover from being a lawless place where only the fittest survive.

While I do admit to having a bit of pride in being from Texas, I'm also not afraid to poke fun at my state. Can you do the same?

Typically at this point, if I was your average unintelligent person, I'd make some disparing and stereotyping remarks about Canadians or people from Ontario, but I despise people who make stupid generalizations. Remarks like that merely reveal the ignorance of the person making them.

Tell you what, you're still in your thirties right? Let's both post barechested photos and everyone else can judge who is fitter. I'm a fat Texan (as well as being 41), right? What do you have to lose?

Sounds like someone's just about ready to CRY...:eek:

Sifu Milt Wallace approves of this thread.

Since when does bare chested equal naked?

I suppose if you REALLY want some naked pictures of me I can oblige.

Great I'll save it with the first unsolicited batch you sent.

:viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking: :viking:

Give me a T for Texas

QboERj6Merc

Give me a T for Texas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QboERj6Merc

Give me an F for Canada

So why is the link not working?

I fixed it. You just need to put the YouTube tags around the video ID (the buncha crap after the "=" sign. Quote your post to see what I mean), not the whole URL.

Sounds like someone's just about ready to CRY...:eek:

I find this funny, coming from the neckbeard crybaby comic book faggot. "whah whah guiz, somebody ripped me off for my the punisher poster!!!!"

Sounds like someone's just about ready to CRY...:eek:
So you're a fatty then?

So why is the link not working?
you forgot to add

.ca

All your base belongs to us

http://beta.images.theglobeandmail.com/archive/00275/tim_hortons_fort_275122gm-a.jpg

Goju seems to be one of the hip, laid back Canucks we want to meet. I think Ozz has been to Quebec too many times. Someone pull the french loaf out of his arse, send him to hang with Nieldo for a few weeks, and he will be fine.

This is Goju Joe taking OZZ home after a 'Leafs game, eh?

LNAXQ0fi8MM

This is Goju Joe taking OZZ home after a 'Leafs game, eh?

LNAXQ0fi8MM
Goju has beer and BJs!??? Rock!

Good vid.

"The brambles catching on your loose fit peasant gown, your underwear around your ankles"

ROFL.

Goju seems to be one of the hip, laid back Canucks we want to meet. I think Ozz has been to Quebec too many times. Someone pull the french loaf out of his arse, send him to hang with Nieldo for a few weeks, and he will be fine.

Quebec is spelled Québec, no poutine for you! - Nieldo will have his hands full with the circus in his town for the next two weeks.

Yep, she has all the assets of a real knock out. If she just wasn't so defensive, we could have a lot of fun.

This is Goju Joe taking OZZ home after a 'Leafs game, eh?

LNAXQ0fi8MM


Make fun all you want but remember certain subjects Taboo

2HGPh8Hjyg8

^^^^
The Communist Michael Moore <3 U

Michael Moore is too fat to be a communist

BTW Ozz is good peeps

Michael Moore is too fat to be a communist
Tell that to Chairman Mao


BTW Ozz is good peeps
You say that NOW.
Now that your cape is off and the keg (and OZZ) are both empty.......

don't make fun

MY CAPE IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

(Ozz is full not empty ifyanowhatimean!)

That vid is fucking hilarious..
Goju and I have met at Throwdowns..he is equally cool ..EH ! He will also attest to the fact that I am in good shape for 39 and far from being a 'fatty'.
But if you really want to find a picture of me you can dig around in the T-Dot Throwdown threads of yesteryear..I am sure there are a couple of me in there.

Goju seems to be one of the hip, laid back Canucks we want to meet. I think Ozz has been to Quebec too many times. Someone pull the french loaf out of his arse, send him to hang with Nieldo for a few weeks, and he will be fine.

Hey, I am as laid back as they come.Until you start messing with Cdn. Institutions like HOCKEY !!
I swing back and now I am the bad guy?
Whatever..

Hey, I am as laid back as they come.Until you start messing with Cdn. Institutions like HOCKEY !!
what does "Cdn." stand for?
Cambodian?
I didn't know they played HOCKEY!!

I swing back and now I am the bad guy?
Whatever..
This is a thread where we mock everything Canadian.
Like Gretzky.
Getting involved with a hockey team.
In Arizona.

Deal with it.

I thought the Coyotes were a good team. No?

First....they are a RELOCATED CANADIAN TEAM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnipeg_Jets)


USA!
USA!
USA!

Second, they filed for bankruptcy in 2009......


Third, Gretzky and Bobby Hull were inducted into their "Hall of Fame" despite never having played for the 'Yotes as well as Brett Hull, who played for them for like 2 weeks or something.

Then there was the Gambling hanky-panky

I still think the Coyotes will end up leaving Arizona at some point..a team just can't keep losing money year after year without something changing eventually.
As far as my views on Gretzky go..he's in the top 3 hockey players of all time, has been a decent ambassador for the sport and the nation, he GM'd us to a Gold MedAL In Salt Lake and kicked the USA's ass on their own turf - that's all good.
BUT
Like a lot of Canadians who invest their cash south of the border, he is Canadian in name only now. The same can be said for many other great hockey players though, including Mario Lemieux, Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito - the list goes on and on.
I think his decision to get involved with the Coyote franchise was a poor one, but an affordable one from a financial perspective and that's why he did it.
I also thought he would have been smart enough NOT to step behind the bench as a coach..but he proved me wrong. Stupid decision..its very hard to come out a winner when you decide to coach a floundering franchise.

gretzky walked right past me after the torch lighting thing. i got him on the cctv. i should pull the footage and upload it to youtube.

That vid is fucking hilarious..
Goju and I have met at Throwdowns..he is equally cool ..EH ! He will also attest to the fact that I am in good shape for 39 and far from being a 'fatty'.
But if you really want to find a picture of me you can dig around in the T-Dot Throwdown threads of yesteryear..I am sure there are a couple of me in there.
I never mentioned hockey in any of my posts. You freaked out on me despite the fact that I poked fun at my own state in my initial post.

Typical hockey spaz.

p.s. I think your country is beautiful. I drove through it on my way to Alaska after I graduated high school in 1987.

Edit: For reference, here's the post you reacted to:
Only fringe-minded right-winged idiots have said that, and yes that includes our governer. If you want to condemn Texas, just look at the last two yahoos who we elected to the office. Apparently all our brainpower left the state shortly before Ann Richards lost the race for governer.
I read no mention of hockey whatsoever. In fact, my post was a reply to NOB which leads me to believe you confused me with NOB's OP. Stupid Canadian hur, hur.

You guys really suck at insulting each other.

I still think the Coyotes will end up leaving Arizona at some point..a team just can't keep losing money year after year without something changing eventually.
As far as my views on Gretzky go..he's in the top 3 hockey players of all time, has been a decent ambassador for the sport and the nation, he GM'd us to a Gold MedAL In Salt Lake and kicked the USA's ass on their own turf - that's all good.
BUT
Like a lot of Canadians who invest their cash south of the border, he is Canadian in name only now. The same can be said for many other great hockey players though, including Mario Lemieux, Bobby Orr, Phil Esposito - the list goes on and on.
I think his decision to get involved with the Coyote franchise was a poor one, but an affordable one from a financial perspective and that's why he did it.
I also thought he would have been smart enough NOT to step behind the bench as a coach..but he proved me wrong. Stupid decision..its very hard to come out a winner when you decide to coach a floundering franchise.

<Playing golf 365 day a year.

case closed.

Typically at this point, if I was your average unintelligent person, I'd make some disparaging and stereotyping remarks...but I despise people who make stupid generalizations. Remarks like that merely reveal the ignorance of the person making them.

What's happened to lebell, anyway? Did he get a pink-slip in his pink slip?

The fattest North Americans I ever saw--by the widest of margins--were in PA's "dutch country".

Oh, wait...

*looks back at first question*

I was just in Detroit over the weekend

Americans are fatter than Canadians

However Canadians are plenty fat as well.

I was just in Detroit over the weekend

Americans are fatter than Canadians

However Canadians are plenty fat as well.

Plenty fat.

PlentyFat.

Plenfatty.

P-fatty.

Vieux's English-language education continues apace.

I was just in Detroit over the weekend

Americans are fatter than Canadians

However Canadians are plenty fat as well.
Michiganers are fucking fat.
However, let us not all be held to their standard.

Why not? If Michigan was the standard, I'm dangerously underweight and the southeast states like Texas and Miss. are only "hefty."

You wish to measure yourself at somewhere between FickleFingerofFate and Mighty McClaw, eh?

That would make you straight up Dagon.

You wish to measure yourself at somewhere between FickleFingerofFate and Mighty McClaw, eh?

That would make you straight up Dagon.

*Arjuna is straight.*

*Arjuna goes straight up Dagon.*

More English-language study notes for yours-truly.

*Arjuna is straight.*

I thought this wasn't allways a true statement...

I thought this wasn't allways a true statement...

Didst thou not read the Writings of the Serpent?

Or is it that thou dost question them thar words?

Arjuna is firmly (read: tightly) between FFF and McClaw.

Arjuna is up Dagon.

Arjuna wishes to measure himself (whilst tightly between FFF and McClaw).

Arjuna is also "straight" (<-- that's a direct citation from Snake's post, no less).

Please tell me you're not trying to twist Snake's words in order to imply something he didn't mean...

I was just in Detroit over the weekend

Americans are fatter than Canadians

However Canadians are plenty fat as well.

When I was in Las Vegas a few years ago I was witness to the obesity factor in the USA through going to the buffet for dinner. I was watching really fat people piling their plates with nothing but deep fried chicken, BBQ beef and meat, meat and more meat..some of them carrying two plates at a time, with no sense of shame whatsoever.
It was disgusting.
I had some meat too, obviously, but I also had some salad, veggies and tea..and these people are looking at me like I'm nuts..
I would be too embarassed to go to a buffet if I was obese.I mean, I think so, anyways.

When I was in Las Vegas a few years ago I was witness to the obesity factor in the USA through going to the buffet for dinner. I was watching really fat people piling their plates with nothing but deep fried chicken, BBQ beef and meat, meat and more meat..some of them carrying two plates at a time, with no sense of shame whatsoever.
It was disgusting.
I had some meat too, obviously, but I also had some salad, veggies and tea..and these people are looking at me like I'm nuts..
I would be too embarassed to go to a buffet if I was obese.I mean, I think so, anyways.


Dude go to Mandarin here in TO

It's like hungry hungry hippos.

Buffets attract fatties

- actually now I come to think on it Indian buffets not so much -

xKtRLB0yc2o

CANADA WON!!!! Fuck all you guys

CANADA WON!!!! Fuck all you guys

They won at hockey. That is like getting to kiss your own sister. Big deal. Gross.

They won at hockey. That is like getting to kiss your own sister. Big deal. Gross.

Not all of us are from the deep south. We don't make out with our sisters and cousins up here.

I dunno man, how hot is the sister? Is she gonna like, tease but you know nothing further, maybe use you to freak out a friend leading you into a very questionable drunken semi-three way, where she's all rubbing her tits on her friend's face while you two rut away and she's panting, "yeah ooh yeah do her yeah?"


Or is it different when you actually have a sister?

Not all of us are from the deep south. We don't make out with our sisters and cousins up here.

fucking prostitutes! they never let you kiss them!