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View Full Version : Hand of God II, or you f**king French Tw*t



Odacon
19th November 09, 06:22 PM
So Ireland were playing France last night in the World cup playoffs, being down 1-0 from the first leg they equalized and it was looking to end up as a nail biting penalty shootout, and then this happens:

I7slrw1fwA8

This has created a huge controversy about video referees and what not, and the FAI (Football Association of Ireland) is lodging a complaint with FIFA, but I just think it's a really slimeball thing to do.

Spade: The Real Snake
19th November 09, 06:35 PM
So the guy was offsides and used his hands?

He's FRENCH, what do you expect?

Sun Wukong
19th November 09, 06:40 PM
so... this is how soccer hooligans are made?

Ajamil
20th November 09, 12:31 AM
That'll become infamous and probably ruin that ref's career.

Spade: The Real Snake
20th November 09, 12:40 AM
it's the linesman's fault for not flagging it
if he would have flagged the offsides, the play would have stopped prior to the handball and the subsequent shot on

WarPhalange
20th November 09, 01:38 AM
What was Hand of God 1? I was thinking this would be a sequel to Godhand, actually.

EuropIan
20th November 09, 01:47 AM
Maradonna did this vs. England in the World Cup

xx_ErE31Z7Y

Cullion
20th November 09, 03:38 AM
When that thing with Maradonna happened, you have to remember

i) How 'worked up' English football fans can get

ii) That when it happened, we'd actually been at war with Argentina just a few years previously.

People took it very, very seriously.

socratic
20th November 09, 04:16 AM
I suspect that out of all the nations that play soccer, Australia and Japan are the only ones who don't take it seriously enough to have riots.

bob
20th November 09, 04:32 AM
Way I heard it, France got their share of bad calls in that match and in earlier ones. And now the Irish justice minister is calling for a replay? Suck it up you pussies.

socratic
20th November 09, 06:18 AM
Way I heard it, France got their share of bad calls in that match and in earlier ones. And now the Irish justice minister is calling for a replay? Suck it up you pussies.A handball is pretty serious isn't it?'

Spade: The Real Snake
20th November 09, 10:18 AM
I suspect that out of all the nations that play soccer, Australia and Japan are the only ones who don't take it seriously enough to have riots.

I read this:
we lack the skill level to properly get a national identity about this.


When that thing with Maradonna happened, you have to remember

i) How 'worked up' English football fans can get

ii) That when it happened, we'd actually been at war with Argentina just a few years previously.

People took it very, very seriously.

Oh, dear lord i remember you getting all aggro on me the last time I trolled you with that clip.

g-o-o-d t-e-i-m-s

Cullion
20th November 09, 10:22 AM
you obviously don't know what aggro is.

Spade: The Real Snake
20th November 09, 10:39 AM
you obviously don't know what aggro is.

I generally understood it to mean "aggressive", no?

Cullion
20th November 09, 10:48 AM
Exactly.

Ajamil
20th November 09, 11:53 AM
Japan doesn't have riots because they'd probably end up like the first 40 seconds of Akira

rnNkfBvYmnc

WarPhalange
20th November 09, 02:37 PM
The first 15 seconds are just letters on the screen. Are you saying Japan is just a giant screen?

Ajamil
20th November 09, 03:09 PM
During a riot, yes.

bob
20th November 09, 04:22 PM
I think the Anglo Celtics are just getting upset because when Latin races cheat they cheat stylishly, sneakily and most importantly, effectively. If it had been Roy Keane putting his studs through someone's rib cage everything would be halal.

Cullion
20th November 09, 04:23 PM
The daily mash did a good take on this.

Odacon
20th November 09, 05:40 PM
It's slowly dying down already, let me emphasize that at no point was there violence or was there the threat of violence to Mr Henry over this.

Cullion
20th November 09, 05:43 PM
I don't think anybody expected there would be. Irish fans don't have a reputation for getting violent over football.

socratic
22nd November 09, 04:04 AM
I read this:
we lack the skill level to properly get a national identity about this. We tend to rattle the spear re: cricket and football though. And no, I'm not going to qualify football to make it less ambiguous.

I really don't care about Australian sports beyond us winning, which on the occasion is a nice feeling. I prefer sports were drawing blood is the aim and not the result of cheating and cowardice.

socratic
22nd November 09, 04:06 AM
I don't think anybody expected there would be. Irish fans don't have a reputation for getting violent over football.But let's not talk about religion.

Spade: The Real Snake
22nd November 09, 11:02 AM
But let's not talk about religion.

Actually, I think that was a double-troll.
I always understood the Irish to be quite violent fans of everything.

FickleFingerOfFate
22nd November 09, 11:31 AM
Especially drinking.

:all_coholic:

Cullion
22nd November 09, 02:35 PM
Actually, I think that was a double-troll.
I always understood the Irish to be quite violent fans of everything.

No, not when it comes to football.

Cullion
22nd November 09, 02:39 PM
But let's not talk about religion.

To be fair the Irish didn't start that one, and it was always more about supporters of home rule vs. people (who in the North were often descendants of scottish settlers) who were loyal to the British crown.

Ajamil
22nd November 09, 03:01 PM
How many of you have intranational rivalries going on as well? I know in football there's the AFL and NFL here, but I only ever hear about the "US Team" in football. Is there a league that only has one team per nation?

Cullion
22nd November 09, 03:08 PM
When you talk about a national soccer team, you're generally talking about the team that country puts forward to play in FIFA tournaments for the World Cup and usually some subsidiary body of FIFA (like UEFA for Europe) that plays in regional tournaments.

Intranational rivalries are just as serious in Europe, and many of the large professional football clubs are multi-multi-million businesses in their own right, just like major city professional sports teams in the US. When Malcolm Glazer (who owns the Tampa Buccaneers in the US) bought Manchester United in the UK, the club was valued at just under $1.5 billion.

Certain clubs' supporters have had particularly bad reputations, and certain rivalries will see an enormous police presence when the two teams play.

bob
22nd November 09, 04:05 PM
But let's not talk about religion.

An Irish friend once described to me how a Gaelic football ground in their neighbourhood got used for a soccer match. Afterwards they had to get the priest on the pitch to sprinkle holy water on it to cleanse the taint of the 'English' game.

Odacon
22nd November 09, 05:28 PM
Actually, I think that was a double-troll.
I always understood the Irish to be quite violent fans of everything.

Example?

Cullion
22nd November 09, 05:31 PM
I bet Snake doesn't know of one. I reckon he's thinking of an American stereotype of 'Irishman as brawling St. Patrick's day blue collar drunkard', perhaps mixed-in with what he's heard about Republican and Loyalist paramilitaries.

FickleFingerOfFate
22nd November 09, 05:34 PM
I bet Snake doesn't know of one. I reckon he's thinking of an American stereotype of 'Irishman as brawling St. Patrick's day blue collar drunkard', perhaps mixed-in with what he's heard about Republican and Loyalist paramilitaries.

Or, possibly, he's been to a Dropkick Murphys Concert.

Cullion
22nd November 09, 05:38 PM
Dude, the Dropkick Murphys are from Massachusetts. The lead singer doesn't even have any traceable Irish ancestry.

FickleFingerOfFate
22nd November 09, 05:40 PM
Dude, the Dropkick Murphys are from Massachusetts.

Boston Massachusetts,

and everyone from there are Irish,


haven't you heard?

Just ask Der 108.


The lead singer doesn't even have any traceable Irish ancestry.

But look how violently he sings about the Irish...

Ajamil
22nd November 09, 06:32 PM
We are the Great American Melting Pot and we reserve the right to steal your culture and delusionally claim it for our own.

Namaste.

bob
22nd November 09, 06:33 PM
Personally I'm 1/43rd Aboriginal and my woman is 11/113ths Brazilian.

Cullion
22nd November 09, 06:55 PM
Brazilian you say?

Spade: The Real Snake
22nd November 09, 08:27 PM
Example?


I bet Snake doesn't know of one. I reckon he's thinking of an American stereotype of 'Irishman as brawling St. Patrick's day blue collar drunkard', perhaps mixed-in with what he's heard about Republican and Loyalist paramilitaries.

I was at the fight where a Mexican whooped Barry McGuigan's ass and took his strap.

socratic
23rd November 09, 06:58 AM
To be fair the Irish didn't start that one, and it was always more about supporters of home rule vs. people (who in the North were often descendants of scottish settlers) who were loyal to the British crown. I know, I was just being a twat.

Kein Haar
23rd November 09, 08:30 AM
I bet Snake doesn't know of one. I reckon he's thinking of an American stereotype of 'Irishman as brawling St. Patrick's day blue collar drunkard', perhaps mixed-in with what he's heard about Republican and Loyalist paramilitaries.

That's not a stereotype.

Talk about culture shock, when I went to some girlfriend's family function and observed just how drunk everyone gets, and that the family members physically fight eachother.

45+ year old men getting scraped knees and elbows from falling down on eachother amidst a tussle at "Gaelic Fest". And then brushing it off.

I'm sorry, but families with last names ending in -son, -sen, and -quist just don't do those kinds of things.

And then to later speak with other people who grew up in similar Chicago enclaves who confirmed that, yes, that is simply what they do.

Amongst childhood friends with a similarly refined and contintental germanic upbringing (who've resettled in suburiba 50+ years ago), we might find ourselves saying: "Hey, remember that one time when you were being a twat and your dad smacked you?"

Whereas the shanty Irish would say: "Hey, remember that time when dad broke his hand on your head and he [I]couldn't beat you for a few weeks?"

FickleFingerOfFate
23rd November 09, 12:46 PM
"Hey, remember that time when dad broke his hand on your head and he couldn't beat you for a few weeks?"


Yeah,

Good Times...

EuropIan
23rd November 09, 10:11 PM
That's not a stereotype.

Talk about culture shock, when I went to some girlfriend's family function and observed just how drunk everyone gets, and that the family members physically fight eachother.

45+ year old men getting scraped knees and elbows from falling down on eachother amidst a tussle at "Gaelic Fest". And then brushing it off.

I'm sorry, but families with last names ending in -son, -sen, and -quist just don't do those kinds of things.

And then to later speak with other people who grew up in similar Chicago enclaves who confirmed that, yes, that is simply what they do.

Amongst childhood friends with a similarly refined and contintental germanic upbringing (who've resettled in suburiba 50+ years ago), we might find ourselves saying: "Hey, remember that one time when you were being a twat and your dad smacked you?"

Whereas the shanty Irish would say: "Hey, remember that time when dad broke his hand on your head and he [I]couldn't beat you for a few weeks?"
Could this have soemthing to do with many of the original Irish immigrants were poor, uncultured, inebriate simpletons?

Kein Haar
23rd November 09, 11:22 PM
Yes.

Cullion
24th November 09, 08:29 AM
My Irish relatives range quite a bit on what economic strata they've ended up in, but my mother's generation were all raised in Dublin with factory workers as parents.

The uncles drink more than my English relatives do, and they had a home-made boxing ring in the back yard when they were kids, but they don't get crazy drunk or get rough with each other at family gatherings. Sometimes the old men dance embarrasingly, that's about it.

Odacon
24th November 09, 04:38 PM
Same as the blacks then.

Cullion
24th November 09, 05:47 PM
smaller dicks.

Odacon
24th November 09, 05:50 PM
Says who?

Cullion
24th November 09, 05:56 PM
http://www.everyoneweb.com/worldpenissize/

Totally serious.

I have a feeling this table is going to get cited more often.

Odacon
24th November 09, 06:19 PM
http://www.everyoneweb.com/worldpenissize/

Totally serious.

I have a feeling this table is going to get cited more often.



That's the best news I've seen in a long time.

Harpy
24th November 09, 10:37 PM
Korea, here I come!!!

Cullion
25th November 09, 05:10 PM
Americans and Austrlians have smaller penises than people from the UK.

Well, I guess that explains the 'magic of the British accent' then.

Cullion
25th November 09, 05:12 PM
The Japanese are totally lying.

Cullion
25th November 09, 05:13 PM
And Ian can just shut the fuck up right now.

bob
25th November 09, 05:16 PM
The British and French measure from arsehole to tip.

Cullion
25th November 09, 05:18 PM
So do you, it's just that you end up with a smaller number.

bob
25th November 09, 05:23 PM
I think for the average Brit being dominated by the French on that table is pretty much 'worst result'. Just as the Kiwis coming out ahead would be for us (and I'm not going to open it on this computer to double check).

Cullion
25th November 09, 05:26 PM
You weren't supposed to bring that up.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:01 PM
Americans and Austrlians have smaller penises than people from the UK.

Well, I guess that explains the 'magic of the British accent' then.

The only problem with that sexy British accent is that it is not matched by 'skill of lovemaking'. I don't know firsthand but the data I've collected is reliable.

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:08 PM
That's true actually. We haven't a clue.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:12 PM
Okay, that makes me want to test you...I mean the research findings out. None of your British mind games!

I'm sticking with the Korean 3"2

Spade: The Real Snake
25th November 09, 06:12 PM
Americans and Austrlians have smaller penises than people from the UK.

Well, I guess that explains the 'magic of the British accent' then.

We fold it in half

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:14 PM
Okay, that makes me want to test you...I mean the research findings out. None of your British mind games!

I'm sticking with the Korean 3"2

I hope you like the taste of barbecued dog.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:15 PM
Actually....let's start a table on 'Sociocide foot size'

Lily - length 8.27 inches, width 3.15 inches

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:17 PM
no, that's boring.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:18 PM
You have tiny feet don't you?

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:19 PM
No. Average length size 10s, but very wide. Like spades.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:23 PM
I regret bringing up the topic.

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:24 PM
No you don't.

Harpy
25th November 09, 06:39 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/01/weekinreview/the-world-what-is-it-about-british-men-cheap-drunk-and-stiff-lipped.html



she concluded that most English males suffer from ''glaring sexual insecurity'' and secretly prefer the company of other men.



Americans' habit of transforming every encounter into an amateur therapy session is alarming to Britons more used to diversionary banter and silly drunken escapades

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:47 PM
'Glaring sexual insecurity' is a North American woman's way of processing 'it's not fucking all about her'.

We're just sexually impatient and don't care about women too much. Preferring the company of other men is generally true, but it's not supressed homosexuality as so many intellectually lazy people assume. We just don't find womens' conversation very interesting.

You didn't come? not our problem. You're ten-a-penny. Nice to meet you!

Gwynneth Paltrow didn't get asked out that much because she's whiney, too tall and probably way less physically attractive in person than in movie publicity shots.

Look at the site www.nomarriage.com.

Imagine Obi-Wan Kenobi reading that site out to you, but substituting his own choice of words in when he thinks the mode of expression is too blunt and boorish. That's us, right there.

I'd stick to the barbecued dog micro-penii if I were you. We're too much trouble.

Dark Helmet
25th November 09, 06:56 PM
I'm of portuguese descent but I was born In canada, how does that explain my huge 12incher? It's a good 3 inches in circumference. I think I had a penis transplant when I was young. Because I can't explain it.

Pretty impressive, isn't Lily?

Cullion
25th November 09, 06:59 PM
I'm of portuguese descent but I was born In canada, how does that explain my huge 12incher?

Explanation? You're a grandstanding oily little mediterranean bullshitter with 'impressing women' issues. You probably still live with your mother. Your cock only looks big in comparison to the rest of you.



Pretty impressive, isn't Lily?

Isn't Lily pretty impressive?

Well, never mind the quality, look at the width!

I suppose you're right.

Harpy
25th November 09, 07:07 PM
I'm of portuguese descent but I was born In canada, how does that explain my huge 12incher? It's a good 3 inches in circumference. I think I had a penis transplant when I was young. Because I can't explain it.

Pretty impressive, isn't Lily?

I love your avatar!

Definitely impressive, but I'd say that you're more trouble than you're worth.

Cullion - I actually agree with you about the American woman perspective. It is limited, mean spirited and just plain stupid.

I don't want bbq-dog flavour :( I worked at an American software company with a ton of European expats and I'll say that the Brits and Danes were the sweetest guys and quite up front about things.

Dark Helmet
25th November 09, 07:22 PM
Explanation? You're a grandstanding oily little mediterranean bullshitter with 'impressing women' issues. You probably still live with your mother. Your cock only looks big in comparison to the rest of you.
You ginger-head, white-northern, pasty face , crooked-teeth motherfucker.

Cullion
25th November 09, 07:25 PM
I'm actually quite red-faced with straight teeth. Greek and Spanish waiters sometimes ask me if I'm Swedish. I haven't been to Portugal yet.

Dark Helmet
25th November 09, 07:33 PM
Don't bring your daughter down there with you.

Cullion
25th November 09, 08:09 PM
It's ok, we have a dungeon to keep her safe.

socratic
26th November 09, 05:30 PM
The Japanese are totally lying.A friend of mine, when teaching in Japan, had one of his (extremely drunk) colleagues tell him Japanese penises are small but very bendy, and that's how they satisfy their women.

The blush his colleague pulled the next day when he was sober was pretty hilarious I'm told.

Cullion
26th November 09, 05:34 PM
...but very bendy

tentacles ?

socratic
26th November 09, 05:34 PM
I like how Briton's complaints about American women are generally along the lines of "They talk too much."

A good British broad knows when to shut her mouth, get you an ale, and then start sucking.

socratic
26th November 09, 05:35 PM
tentacles ?You know what they say, about real life trumping fiction...

socratic
26th November 09, 05:37 PM
I don't think you'd like it here Cullion. Aussie women are a bit mouthy, as Lily has kindly demonstrated. And the police really don't like it when you put them in their place, but they do like using their new tasers on you.

bob
26th November 09, 05:38 PM
that's how they satisfy their women.



Their women are very satisfied, trust me. (http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/games/its-the-unreal-wedding-of-the-year-20091126-jt2j.html)

Cullion
26th November 09, 05:41 PM
Aussie women are a bit mouthy, as Lily has kindly demonstrated.

I've dated a couple of Australian women. Aside from the accent I didn't notice much of a culture gap.



And the police really don't like it when you put them in their place, but they do like using their new tasers on you.

You think it's any different here?

socratic
26th November 09, 05:49 PM
I've dated a couple of Australian women. Aside from the accent I didn't notice much of a culture gap. And our accents are way closer to yours than say, an American one.

Edit: This was in London, wasn't it? London is the mecca for Aussies and NZers for some stupid reason or another.


You think it's any different here?Can't you let me tell bad jokes? Must you ruin it every time!?

Cullion
26th November 09, 06:27 PM
And our accents are way closer to yours than say, an American one.

Edit: This was in London, wasn't it? London is the mecca for Aussies and NZers for some stupid reason or another.

No it was in Birmingham. I've never lived in London.

FickleFingerOfFate
26th November 09, 09:52 PM
Americans don't have accents.

Except Southerners...

socratic
26th November 09, 11:39 PM
Everyone has an accent. Especially Americans. They just can't seem to get the 'r' right. Except for Bostonians.

Ajamil
27th November 09, 12:20 AM
Their women are very satisfied, trust me. (http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/games/its-the-unreal-wedding-of-the-year-20091126-jt2j.html)
I don't get it. We have stuff like this going on and the Evangelicals are all up in arms about the gays marrying? Female anime characters are a much MUCH larger threat to traditional marriage than same sex marriages.

Harpy
27th November 09, 12:35 AM
From the above article:

The New York Times about Tokyo resident Nisan, 37, who fell in love with a stuffed pillowcase emblazoned with a depiction of a teenage video game character.

Spade: The Real Snake
27th November 09, 07:47 AM
Everyone has an accent. Especially Americans. They just can't seem to get the 'r' right. Except for Bostonians.

The irony of this post is delicious.

Cullion
27th November 09, 02:10 PM
I don't get it. We have stuff like this going on and the Evangelicals are all up in arms about the gays marrying? Female anime characters are a much MUCH larger threat to traditional marriage than same sex marriages.

Homosexual marriage only represents a threat to traditional marriage if you see it as some kind of temptation.

In the past I haven't gone for this 'homophobes are repressed homosexuals' theory, but this time it's the only way I can understand why somebody would think it was a threat to straight relationships.

socratic
28th November 09, 10:03 PM
The irony of this post is delicious.It's pronounced 'ahh' not 'arrr'. SAY IT RIGHT DAMNIT!?!!?!?!!!!11!!

socratic
28th November 09, 10:04 PM
Marriages are totally a finite comodity Cullion, we've got to limit the pool of consumers.

Spade: The Real Snake
28th November 09, 11:05 PM
It's panounced 'ahh' not 'arrr'. SAY IT AIGHT DAMNIT!?!!?!?!!!!11!!

Aight (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=aight)

though the Brazilians use it like a Mexican J.

EuropIan
29th November 09, 12:40 AM
Brazil, you say?

socratic
1st December 09, 09:12 PM
Brasil?

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd December 09, 10:51 AM
really?
hmmmm.
tell me more.

Harpy
2nd December 09, 04:36 PM
Tell me more
Did she put up a fight?