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View Full Version : Poll: What kind of dragon should adorn my crotch?



TheMightyMcClaw
18th November 09, 12:17 AM
So here's the deal.
A couple weeks ago, one of my belt buckles broke. This one (http://th06.deviantart.net/fs49/300W/i/2009/218/2/a/Lion_Belt_by_MetalArtisan.jpg). The little tab that hooks into the maille tore off.
That's the sweet thing about chainmail belts, I suppose: they outlast their buckles.
Anyway, this has left with me with a great big swath of chainmail and no way to adorn it to clasp it shut.
So I'm browsing around on eBay and the like, and I decided that I should probably try and find the most audacious and dragon-themed buckle possible. I'm kind of surprised I don't have some kind of dragon-buckle already. To give you a measure of how hard I'm trying to tell subtlety to fuck off in the first place, this (http://th00.deviantart.net/fs47/300W/i/2009/218/b/3/Skull_Belt_by_MetalArtisan.jpg) is the belt that I wear on a day to day basis.
Anyways, here are the contenders:
Entry #1: The Door Knocker (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290366190025&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT)
Firstly, if I were to get this buckle, that stupid little ring would be getting snipped off post-haste, leaving me just a satanic looking dragon staring out of my navel.
Pros: Sweet ass horns, well framed.
Cons: Noticeably darker than the belt.
Entry #2: The Vallejo (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160378294545&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT)
For those of you not in the know, Boris Vallejo is renowned for his extremely classy (http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Vallejo_Bell-2008.jpg), tasteful (http://user.tninet.se/%7Etng483b/drak/vallejo41.jpg), and in no way over-the-top (http://i39.tinypic.com/6h3r13.jpg) sword and sorcery artwork. He also designed this sweet ass belt buckle of a dragon with big beefy arms (a la the "S is for Sucks" dragon) (http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/9/97/sucks_trogdor.png/220px-sucks_trogdor.png), raising one fist up, seemingly preparing to ground-and-pound the junk of anyone who dears to constrain it to a belt.
Pros: Only five dollars. Vallejo.
Cons: Dragon sort of looks like a dude with wings and a dragon head. Vallejo.
Entry #3: The Lighter
(http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=350267774972&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT) I don't own a lighter. That's understandable, since I don't smoke. But I kind of want to own one anyway, because I just like the idea of having the power of fire at my fingertips whenever I damn well want it.
Pros: Power of fire. Dragons AND skulls.
Cons: I already own a skull-themed belt. Lighter itself kind of sticks out.
Entry #4: DragonFORCE (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120486968780&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT)
Not an actual dragon, instead, it bears the blood-splattered name of motherfucking DragonForce. While I don't actually enjoy DragonForce's music as much as a lot of other power metal bands, I enjoy them on principle to no end.
Pros: Promotes power metal.
Cons: No dragon.
Entry #5: The Shield (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33778269&ref=sr_list_6&&ga_search_query=dragon+buckle&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&order=date_desc&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title)
I found this one on Etsy... while I can't find anything overtly wrong with it, it seems to lack a certain something. Perhaps it's the relative flatness, which makes it seem more like a picture of a dragon and and less like a metal serpent that I've tamed and used to hold up my pants.
Pros: Seemingly humongous. Free belt.
Cons: Could be dragonier.

Keep in mind, I'm not trying to look cool. I'm not trying to look suave. I'm trying to look as much like a heavy metal album cover as a human being can.

Harpy
18th November 09, 12:49 AM
The Door Knocker with a lighter attached and powered by the press of a button. Make sure your crotch is fire-proof.

WarPhalange
18th November 09, 01:39 AM
I shop at Walmart.

Shotgun Christening
18th November 09, 06:32 AM
I shop at Walmart.



Make sure to keep your receipt out.

Shotgun Christening
18th November 09, 06:35 AM
For the power metal look, the Valejo or door knocker would be best.

I prefer the shield though.

partyboy
18th November 09, 07:05 AM
I vote for arthur pendragon

Kein Haar
18th November 09, 07:19 AM
I would say a sad, emo Dagon.

HappyOldGuy
18th November 09, 11:53 AM
http://dummidumbwit.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/komodo_dragon-1.jpg

Alive. That would be Metal.

FickleFingerOfFate
18th November 09, 12:02 PM
Let me get this straight,

you craft chain-mail garments,

and you do not operate, nor are you affiliated with, a welder?



Ninjer,

please.

Shawarma
18th November 09, 12:10 PM
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Roman%20Catholicism/nazi_buckle.jpeg

TheMightyMcClaw
18th November 09, 12:18 PM
Let me get this straight,

you craft chain-mail garments,

and you do not operate, nor are you affiliated with, a welder?



Ninjer,

please.

Don't worry, I'm on it.
I'm taking some metalworking courses in December and January, with the goal of eventually learning how to produce plate armor.

Spade: The Real Snake
18th November 09, 12:29 PM
Go with #5.

You will pass lees for Miley Cyrus and your preteen Girl sized ass can hide behind it in the event a firefight breaks out.

Ajamil
19th November 09, 01:29 AM
The first one, although the lighter buckle is cool, it'd get old fast.

nihilist
19th November 09, 01:55 AM
What kind of dragon should adorn my crotch?

That's easy:

http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/6217/58054642.jpg

Adouglasmhor
19th November 09, 02:20 AM
NSFW (http://www.thebisch.com/images/stories/dragon_penis.jpg)

nihilist
19th November 09, 02:23 AM
STEEV already did that in the ENTER THE DRAGON thread.

Shotgun Christening
19th November 09, 06:57 AM
NSFW (http://www.thebisch.com/images/stories/dragon_penis.jpg)


I asked that tattoo artist NOT to post my pic anywhere.

Shit.