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View Full Version : Peasant Fashion: How to Get Mo Swagg fo Less Bills



MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 01:17 AM
Know yo size

Shirt size is determined by your NECK and SHOULDERS, not your gut. Many, many men make this mistake. Your proper size is the one where:
1) the shoulder seams come as close as possible to lining up to your actual shoulders. Doing it right:
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/doit.jpg
His shoulders and the jacket's shoulders end at the same spot. You can bring them in just a little and still be just fine (I'd almost say those shoulders could be brought in literally a cm or two and the fit would be perfect), but do not pick a size that goes any further out.
2) The collar fits close without strangling you.

Pants size is the one that fits as close as possible while still buttoning up comfortably. Pick out a few different waist sizes and keep going smaller and smaller until you find out where "snug" becomes "hard to button up". Snug is your size. Nearly all pants materials stretch in the waist, some (especially denim) quite considerably, which is why it's important for pants to fit snug when they're new. They'll never be as tight as the day you bought them.

Outerwear needs to be a hair bigger than your shirts and sweaters, because they fit over them. Most of the time this is accounted for in the cut, but depending on how you size your shirts you may or may not have to size up for jackets.

One thing to consider is that designer sizing tends to be slightly slimmer than your average Macy's or Target brand sizing, because designers are targeting beautiful people with fit, slim, or skinny bodies and Target brands are targeting the populace at large. It's always best to try on the designer you want to buy, or at least several different designers available in your area. If you're unlucky enough to live in some buttfuck town with absolutely no legit designers available (hint: the term "designer" used for the clothes at Macy's, Kohl's, etc. is a euphemism at best) try to find an American Apparel or H&M cause even though the clothes mostly suck they at least tend to follow designer sizing. The exception is pants, where a 30" waist is still a 30" waist whether the legs are cut super skinny or relaxed.

Another good thing to know is your measurements. Knowing your chest, shoulders, etc. is good, but even better is already having a few clothes that fit epically so you can compare their measurements to the clothes you want to buy. You don't want a shirt or jacket whose chest measurement is exactly equal to your chest cause then it will fit tight, get it? In fact, this is almost essential when you start buying clothes sight unseen because SIZING IS NOT STANDARDIZED, especially among some of the trashier or larger brands where the same tagged size in the exact same piece can fit differently (I have shirts from Am Appy and have seen shirts from J. Crew that do this). I'd always buy in person if I could to try on, but since the internet often has better deals you have to make do.

Now that we cover that, where do you buy this shit?
http://www.contextclothing.com
http://www.blackbirdballard.com/
http://sevennewyork.com/
http://www.barneys.com/
http://www.oipolloi.com/
http://www.ok-ni.com/ (these guys are tied with Self Edge's unhemmed jeans for the worst modelling pics I've ever seen)
http://www.forwardforward.com/

But MJS! you're screaming at your monitor, those prices are high as fuck! Yeah, but they're also all having massive sales right now, and you know what's even better?

http://www.retailmenot.com/

And other similar websites offer product codes that often stack with these sales for epic 90% discounts. If you don't mind buying out of season or at the end of the season you can find massive deals on what everyone with more money than you didn't want. The only caveat is that waiting for sales means you'll miss out on some things, especially in your size. That's how it goes when you don't want to pay full price. Just cop early and cop hard, young padawan.

But that's just part of the picture. If you want to cop at sale price year-round, or even cop items that don't go on sale for sale prices, you have to sign up for eBay (check for fakes). You even have to become a big fat fashion faggot and turn in your Certified Man Card by signing up for actual clothing forums.

http://www.superfuture.com/supertalk/forumdisplay.php?f=14
http://www.styleforum.net/forumdisplay.php?f=11
And if you can translate ancient runes:
http://auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/

With a little bit of patience, searching, and luck, you'll find $300 sneakers sub-100, designers items for $75, and crazy shit like that. Normally items will sell well before they reach that low, but getting at least 50% off for lightly worn and sometimes unworn clothing is pretty much standard, and when the guy has 5,000 posts and hundreds of rep points you can sleep pretty soundly knowing that it's not a fake or he won't run away with your money.

What I DON'T recommend is Craigslist. Maybe it's just my local listings, but the clothes are shit. Don't waste your time.

Thank you letters should be directed to my inbox.

WarPhalange
19th July 09, 01:34 AM
I buy my clothes exclusively at Walmart. I'm serious.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 01:44 AM
The problem with going too cheap on clothes is that instead of saving money you're just pissing it down the drain on clothes that look downright shitty. Here's a great example:
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/me1osf.jpg

Shirt is from Target and cost, I don't know, fifteen bucks? There's a lot of things wrong with it, but one thing you can see without any sort of knowledge about clothes? Look at the pockets, the shoulders, and the sleeves, where they meet the body. The pattern doesn't even match. Talk about a waste of money, here you have a shirt that just won't ever look good period.

If you don't care that's one thing, but this is directed towards people who want to dress well yet are put off by the retail prices.

Ka-Bar
19th July 09, 01:54 AM
I'm sorry MJS, but this:

http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/me1osf.jpg

looks better than this:

http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/doit.jpg

every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 01:56 AM
Based on? I used that picture to demonstrate fit, not to recommend an outfit.

WarPhalange
19th July 09, 01:58 AM
Hah!

Secondly, I'd never buy that shirt in the first place. Most of my shirts are generic, one color shirts, with some hue of grey or sometimes greenish-grey.

Also, buttons? Why the fuck would I buy a shirt with buttons? T-shirts exclusively.

socratic
19th July 09, 02:52 AM
Hah!

Secondly, I'd never buy that shirt in the first place. Most of my shirts are generic, one color shirts, with some hue of grey or sometimes greenish-grey.

Also, buttons? Why the fuck would I buy a shirt with buttons? T-shirts exclusively.

You're a long-haired physicist, you don't have to care about looking good [and good thing, too...]. Us normal people need to keep our nose to the weather when it comes to threads. And why yes, there is in fact a situation for wearing buttoned shirts...

EuropIan
19th July 09, 03:15 AM
MJS is right, that guy's shirt is too big for him and it would look better if it came in a slightly smaller size.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 03:20 AM
size is fine, it's more the cut that gives it an unflattering shape
material looks cheap too in addition to not matching
give me ten seconds with that shirt and I'll find loose threads for you.

EuropIan
19th July 09, 03:38 AM
It's allso wrinkled as all hell.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 03:47 AM
I think that goes back to the cut. It doesn't button well and the fabric pulls in strange ways.

Kiko
19th July 09, 05:40 AM
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xF6dfb4eZ6s/SBD9CqpnK1I/AAAAAAAAAGs/KgLJc71PE90/s320/peasant-costume2.gif

socratic
19th July 09, 07:23 AM
The shirt's also got a completely fucking ugly pattern, but oh well.

Does double pockets on the chest ever work?

EuropIan
19th July 09, 07:29 AM
I still havn't found anything I can safely put in my chest pocket without it falling out at some point.

Such cruel pockets!

socratic
19th July 09, 07:34 AM
I still havn't found anything I can safely put in my chest pocket without it falling out at some point.

Such cruel pockets!

I feel the same way about butt pockets, except they double as ass-groping flaps. Anything you put in an ass pocket gets crushed when you sit down, so you best hope it's not your iPhone.

EuropIan
19th July 09, 07:52 AM
Butt pockets (snicker) are for wallets.

socratic
19th July 09, 08:04 AM
Butt pockets (snicker) are for wallets.

No, that's what your right front pocket is for. Butt pockets are for someone else's hand.

socratic
19th July 09, 08:05 AM
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xF6dfb4eZ6s/SBD9CqpnK1I/AAAAAAAAAGs/KgLJc71PE90/s320/peasant-costume2.gif
I wish I could jack that swagga

Kiko
19th July 09, 08:12 AM
I wish I could jack that swagga

Verily and fo shizzle!

socratic
19th July 09, 08:21 AM
Verily and fo shizzle!

Sheeeeeeeeeeee-at.

Ajamil
19th July 09, 01:12 PM
Why is snug the preferred pant sizing, MJS? I ask because when I get pants, I prefer to find ones that are slightly baggy (not hard, famine survivor look-a-like that I am) and cinch with a belt. I don't like the feel of the fabric pressing into my flesh - brings pictures of too tight jeans and cowboys to my mind.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 03:47 PM
No, that's what your right front pocket is for. Butt pockets are for someone else's hand.

wallet in front pockets looks retarded


Why is snug the preferred pant sizing, MJS? I ask because when I get pants, I prefer to find ones that are slightly baggy (not hard, famine survivor look-a-like that I am) and cinch with a belt. I don't like the feel of the fabric pressing into my flesh - brings pictures of too tight jeans and cowboys to my mind.

Cinching with a belt will make them balloon in the hips.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 03:52 PM
That's also a good recipe for shapeless legs and diaper ass.

Ajamil
19th July 09, 03:59 PM
Mmmmm diaper ass...

Harpy
19th July 09, 06:14 PM
MJS - do you know anything about what's happening to chest sizes in women's clothing? I tend to not try stuff on before I buy but I know my size and haven't had a problem before. However, lately I've had real problems buttoning the top two buttons despite being not well-endowed. No, I don't have back fat. Well, not that much anyway.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
19th July 09, 06:16 PM
You could be gaining weight OR you could be moving between brands with different sizing OR your brand might be changing or just fucking up its sizing.
I've had S that measured M and XS that were longer in length than S, even S that were way too short for me. Sizing is not standard.

Ajamil
19th July 09, 09:39 PM
Just like early railroad tracks...though probably not as annoying and detrimental.

resolve
20th July 09, 01:05 AM
I wear size 34 waist pants/shorts and every time I've tried on 34 it's been comfortable and would hold up on their own but hold up well with a belt as well.

Then I got a bunch of pants and shorts for my birthday (I always ask for clothes because I'm poor and at least like to look presentable) and a bunch of them don't fit. They are even tighter than the old 32's I used to wear and stretched out a bit. I'm thinking wherever my folks shopped at must've had a bunch of messed up orders or something.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th July 09, 12:30 AM
Article on meshing cheap clothes with designer gear:
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/036.jpg
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/037.jpg
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/038.jpg
http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/040.jpg

DAYoung
26th July 09, 12:36 AM
despite being not well-endowed.

lolwut?

Toby Christensen
26th July 09, 12:42 AM
I think MEGA has a point here; All my shirts fit me from the time I was anorexic (55kg) to the time I was obese (104kg) and every time in between.

I submit this piece of anecdotal, untested evidence that is indeed not your gut that dictates your shirt size.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th July 09, 12:46 AM
Size for your shoulders and neck and then size for your body with the CUT, i.e. slim, relaxed, whatever.

Toby Christensen
26th July 09, 12:48 AM
Yes, exactly.

Ajamil
26th July 09, 01:49 AM
The only thing I learned from that article is I'm glad I don't have the first guy's head.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
3rd August 09, 08:48 PM
so over the past couple weeks i have copped:

one (1) pair of designer jawns
three (3) pairs of sneakers
one (1) button up shirt

Approximate total retail: $655
Approximately what I paid: $288

p.s. move 2 fashin form plz