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View Full Version : Are you one of those suckers who gives to panhandlers?



Dark Helmet
20th April 09, 05:48 PM
Friendly panhandler brings in bucks
Happy Panhandler lives large
By EARL MCRAE
The Ottawa Sun


Can begging for loose change on the streets add up to $52,000 a year? Mark Hewens says so.


What are your thoughts on the 'Happy Panhandler'?

OTTAWA -- If he's not Ottawa's wealthiest panhandler, he must be close to it, and yesterday, riding his bike as usual, his life's belongings hanging from the handlebars in two plastic bags, he got me again as I headed toward my car outside a west-end mall.

"Hey, Earl," he shouted.

"Hey," I said.

"Remember me?"

Uh. Yeah. Yeah."

"Mark."


"Right. Sure I remember you. Mark."

And I did remember him. The parking lot of a convenience store a few months ago. He came up behind me on his bike and he was soft-spoken, he was articulate, he was friendly, he was likable, he was not at all aggressive, and I gave the change I had in pocket without qualms. I remembered him from several weeks before that, too. Another parking lot, a different place, same approach, same outcome. Mark The Happy Panhandler. He gets around. You've probably seen him yourself. The bike and the bags are the giveaway. Mark Hewens, 47.

This time he didn't have to ask. Nor did he.

"You need money, Mark?"

"God bless you," he said.

I gave him what change I had in my pocket.

"God bless you," he said again.

"It's all I have," I told him.

"God bless you," he said a third time.

You'll notice I asked if he needed money. Wrong choice of a word. If The Happy Panhandler's to be believed -- and I believe him -- he doesn't need money. Let me put it another way. He shouldn't need money.

"Mark, how much do you average a week panhandling?"

"A week? About $1,000."

"Panhandling? You make about $1,000 a week panhandling? You're kidding me, right?"

He flashed me his remaining pearly yellows. "Nope. Sometimes a bit less, sometimes a bit more, but usually around that. A thousand a week. Fifty-two thousand a year."

No wonder he's always smiling and friendly, The Happy Panhandler. The perfect job. No income tax. No overhead. Works his own hours. Seven days a week. From dawn to midnight, cruising the city on his battered old bike. And, he says, the perilous economy hasn't touched him.

"How long have you been panhandling?"

"I had other jobs. I drove a taxi, worked in a restaurant. All kinds of jobs. Then about six years ago I saw guys panhandling and it seemed pretty good, so I thought I'd try it."

I asked what he does with his money. Bank accounts? Investments? He obviously doesn't spend it on clothes, dentistry, or better bikes. "Oh, I find ways," he said. Like what, I asked. "Oh, you know. Drinking. Other stuff." Drugs, I asked. "Pot now and then. Just pot." He said he lives on the streets except for four nights a week when he crashes in the small apartment of a buddy. "He's crippled, so I help him do things he can't."

No doubt one of the reasons The Happy Panhandler does so well financially is his nature. "It's all in how you approach people," he said. "I'm basically a nice person, how I am is me. I'm never aggressive. That turns people off. After all, it's their money, not mine. They don't have to give it to you.

"I always ask politely and I always say, 'Thank you, God bless you.' Lots of panhandlers don't say anything. That's rude. There are times I still don't get any money, or I'm told to (censored) off, and that's fine. I don't get mad, I'm still polite and say, 'God bless you.'

"One time a man told me to beat it and I said, 'God bless you sir -- by the way, your right rear tire is almost flat.' It actually was. He thanked me for pointing it out and then gave me some money. The thing is, I'm not a bad person. Some panhandlers give us a bad image."

I asked him what has been his single largest donation.

"At Christmas, outside the Lone Star restaurant, a guy got out of his car and gave me a $100 bill. I've had fifties, twenties."

Do the cops harass him?

"I haven't had any problems." He smiled. "Some of them have given me money."

I asked Mark Hewens, The Happy Panhandler, if he'd let me write about him, and he said yes, and I asked if he could meet me at the same place in two hours so a photographer could take his picture, and he said yes, and three hours later Andre Forget and I were still waiting, no Happy Panhandler.

"Maybe he's raking in big money somewhere," Forget said.

Maybe he was.

Maybe another happy, multi God bless you, day.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2009/04/20/9172226-sun.html


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This doesn't surprise. I have heard of panhandlers making up to 100$ a day. Live in apartments, eat well and buy new clothes then day wake-up everyday find there favorite spot on the street and work. But 52 smackers is ridiculous. People do want to feel good about themselves.

Ajamil
20th April 09, 06:07 PM
Isn't this kind of the ultimate capitalist? People pay him for absolutely nothing, and walk away with a higher sense of worth.

elipson
20th April 09, 06:10 PM
Panhandlers can easily make 100$ a day.

I might give a guy something, if he is entertaining or playing music or something. I also don't throw my bottles into the trash, instead I leave them beside the trash for homeless to pick up and recycle.

kracker
20th April 09, 06:17 PM
How about that, being a filthy hobo sounds like a lucrative employment opportunity. Never would have thought you could make that much. Seriously though, before we jump all over this guy, is giving money to hobos really any different than tipping a doorman or bathroom attendant?

Cullion
20th April 09, 06:36 PM
I rarely give them money. I do buy street newspapers and if somebody looks really in bad shape physically I will buy them some healthy food.

Dark Helmet
20th April 09, 06:37 PM
Well, Elipson made a good point. If a homeless guy entertains than how different is that from giving someone change who plays the guitar, dance groups or plays the cello. At least these people are working for their handouts.

I suppose you can carry you own luggage from the car into the hotel. And there aren't that many bathroom attendants anymore. In only the swankiest of restaurants have that. These individuals are being paid minimum wage or at least above that. They would apreciate it and if you decide to stay at the same Hotel or eat at the same restaurant, you may want to leave a good impression with the staff.

But ,I don't quite see any similarities between a bum and a person in a uniform working in font of a hotel.

One doesn't want to be there while the other lives on the street.

Equipoise
20th April 09, 07:34 PM
Jail. That's what I give them. They get 3 meals a day, shelter and clothes.

Harpy
20th April 09, 08:04 PM
How do you know a 'panhandler' from a real 'beggar'?

Give at your own risk I guess. Better to donate to The Salvation Army and similar organisations. However sometimes you do come across someone who looks in need, again its your choice whether you give them money, food, clothes etc.

I wouldn't envy the panhandler in the OP's story. I wouldn't want to live on the whim and charity of others. He has no idea where he'll be living in a month, probably has no relationships/family ties due to sociopathic tendencies, probably has a mental disorder. Wonder what his health is like. All in all, I'd still give someone like that the change in my pocket.

Neildo
20th April 09, 08:05 PM
i kick them off the property and threaten to call guys like equipoise.

Harpy
20th April 09, 08:12 PM
Even if they're not causing any trouble Neildo?

WarPhalange
20th April 09, 08:24 PM
Jail. That's what I give them. They get 3 meals a day, shelter and clothes.

Thanks. You spared me from giving him a dollar tops, so that now I can pay for his meals, clothing, medical care, hygiene, and shelter.

Dumbass.

Neildo
20th April 09, 08:26 PM
i'm okay with them if they're not standing in front of my building. they can go stand in front of the mcdonalds 10 feet away for all i care, i just want them off the property.

do they still have prison work camps? get those bums off the streets, into jails, and in chain gangs cleaning the mcdonalds wrappers thrown out of SUV windows by fat people, damnit.

Doritosaurus Chex
20th April 09, 08:42 PM
They have tons of those stories here. Hobos owning condos or big screen tvs. I don't mind them if they do something hilarious, does a jig, offers reading material. The ones that piss me off are the ones who fake injuries to gain sympathy. I've seen a guy fake a limp and a few years back, the Sun exposed "the shaky lady". Those are the people who bother me.

Harpy
20th April 09, 08:44 PM
Go travel in Asia and you'll be even more confused.

I was confronted by a young mother who carried a toddler with a cast on his leg. I was told by the driver that it was either a fake cast, a real accident or even more tragically that she or her partner might have deliberately broken the child's bone to garner sympathy and more $$.

Neildo
20th April 09, 08:49 PM
the only panhandlers i saw in the philippines were these unfortunate withered old seniors that could barely walk. i gave them a few pesos. the other homeless didn't beg, they did something industrious and earned their money. i totally bought bottled water, cigarettes, candies, and handmade handkerchiefs while waiting in traffic in manila.

a lot of panhandlers out here really are fucking lazy stupid drug addicts. i have a picture on my cell phone of two punk ass kids begging in front of a 7-11 while using a laptop. i'll upload it later.

Equipoise
20th April 09, 09:08 PM
Thanks. You spared me from giving him a dollar tops, so that now I can pay for his meals, clothing, medical care, hygiene, and shelter.

Dumbass.

Oh wait, I'm sorry. I forgot to take you, Poop Loops, into consideration. That's fine I'll just let the guy purchase liquor with YOUR oops, I mean your mom's money (since you don't work), purchase illegal substances, break into YOUR eh, there I go again; your mom's car or her house. I'll also allow him to get into fights and commit all sorts of violent crimes with your mom's money.

Furthermore, if you want to call a spade a spade, then it's my job to make sure he gets the adequate food,shelter, etc. he needs versus a never ending diet of malted beverages.

Harpy
20th April 09, 09:20 PM
a lot of panhandlers out here really are fucking lazy stupid drug addicts. i have a picture on my cell phone of two punk ass kids begging in front of a 7-11 while using a laptop. i'll upload it later.

So we agree that one can generally tell who is genuine or not.

Also, we await pictures of Jay and Silent Bob with their laptop. Why didn't you give them an ass-kicking?

Neildo
20th April 09, 09:24 PM
because if i dish out asskickings to everyone i deemed appropriate, i would be the one going to jail. man, our society is so backwards.

Harpy
20th April 09, 09:27 PM
I agree. We would launch a rescue party for you though.

EuropIan
20th April 09, 09:35 PM
I was confronted by a young mother who carried a toddler with a cast on his leg. I was told by the driver that it was either a fake cast, a real accident or even more tragically that she or her partner might have deliberately broken the child's bone to garner sympathy and more $$.
This is why Europeans are intolerant of gypsies

HappyOldGuy
20th April 09, 09:39 PM
Meh, I give when I feel like it. I assume everything I get told is a lie in general, and that any money I giv is going for heroin as soon as I'm gone, but if you look like you need it or you make me smile, I'll give you some money. I've been known to hand out decent amounts around the holidays.

Harpy
20th April 09, 09:40 PM
Ian - where do you stand on the 'gypsy' issue?

elipson
20th April 09, 09:40 PM
After visiting Mexico city, I felt much less sympathy towards anyone on the street.

Very few beggars in Mexico. Why? Because no one has any money for Charity!

All the homeless ppl there SELL things. Really nice things too. I bought a bunch of cool stuff from street vendors.

Homeless people in Canada live in relative luxury and are just extremely fucking lazy/ungrateful by comparison.


Italy on the other hand, un-fucking real. No attempt to sell themselves other than to stand in front of you with there hand out asking "give me money".

EuropIan
20th April 09, 10:21 PM
Ian - where do you stand on the 'gypsy' issue?
poor insular people doing what they know best, hated and distrusted by all.

I don't know what I would do if I were a gypsy. I'd probably be a pretty good pickpocket.

Edit: and elipson is right, the gypsies south of the alps are the worst.

Frank White
21st April 09, 12:43 AM
For the record, hobos work for their money, bums and tramps don't.

socratic
21st April 09, 04:50 AM
China has the worst begging problem I've seen and they're way more aggressive and entrepreneurial than the ones I've met. Australia mostly suffers the occasional dude sitting down with a sign, and a lot of the windscreen-washers [who will guilt-trip you when you say 'no' by cleaning your windscreen anyway].

China has provincials fucking everywhere. You can tell by their skin colour and facial structure that they're out-of-towners. Old people, young people, mums with their kids, they'll single out every white person they find and follow you around, muttering and impeding you whilst shaking little cups filled with change at you. I have no doubt that these people are poor, but their sheer assholery and aggressiveness pissed me off enough to not give them anything. That and they'll more than likely try to steal shit from you if you are seen to have a lot of money. Watch your bags and pockets on trains, kids, 'cause that dirty little 5 year old is probably going through them.

Ajamil
21st April 09, 06:44 AM
Worst I've ever seen was Flagstaff, with it's seasonal flood of transients. We would sit outside our coffee shop and get harrassed a number of times by people asking for money. And I mean harrassed as in a stood up out of my chair and told some guy to fuck off because he's right next to my shoulder and talking about Karate moves or something. These people I hate.

Then there was Carl who every day we would see ride up on his bike, walk tot he trash, rumage a bit, then ride off. Never asked anyone for anything. Never bothered you, and waited for the trash to be unoccupied before rumaging. I would search this man out to buy him meals.

I've had grubby cups thrust through windows while waiting to recross the US-Mexico border, and I've heard the horror stories of parents/guardians/whoever can profit maiming children in order to get a few more bills from passers-by.

In the 60s the Krishnas would have police dropping off hobos at our temples. We should go back to that - cheaper than prison, we know how to deal with crazies, and we love feeding people. We'd just have to find a way to keep the addicts from stealing and running off.

Lebell
21st April 09, 06:55 AM
i dont like any beggars because 9 out of 10 times they're fucking liars.

gipsy's amuse me and ill give em money if they let their monkey dance.
last time i did that my driver got bitten in the arm, i laughed my ass off!

in mumbai i caused a small riot with a beggar one time.
i'd been there for too long and got fucking sick of beggars, it was hot, i was off to a retarded job and was sitting with a friend in a motor riksja waiting for the lights to turn green.
overthere they have a countdown system and there were still 54 seconds or so until the lights would go green again.
All the while there was this young woman holding a baby in front of my nose mumbeling something like '20 rupee, 20 rupee..'

ive had it and said: 20 rupee is quite cheap for a baby! ill take it!
i reached out to grab the baby and she went hysteric.

i had tears in my eyes laughing.

needless to say im a big fan of hobofights.
after all, they're not REALLY humans, right?

Ajamil
21st April 09, 08:00 AM
If you offered 100 rupees, she might have accepted...


...no, not really, that baby makes her begging a hell of a lot more effective and 100 rupees wouldn't nearly cover the long term drop in income. Then again, once she's no longer a parent she could whore herself out until the next baby.

Damn, I've disgusted myself.

socratic
21st April 09, 08:23 AM
If you offered 100 rupees, she might have accepted...


...no, not really, that baby makes her begging a hell of a lot more effective and 100 rupees wouldn't nearly cover the long term drop in income. Then again, once she's no longer a parent she could whore herself out until the next baby.

Damn, I've disgusted myself.

Piety is for assholes. If you think you're not a bad person you aren't looking at yourself hard enough.

Shawarma
21st April 09, 09:03 AM
This thread is pure condescending class war. I suggest it be moved to Great Britain.

Ajamil
21st April 09, 09:13 AM
Piety is for assholes. If you think you're not a bad person you aren't looking at yourself hard enough.

You don't understand. I'm the one that thought that up - easily and within seconds. I wrote it with no compunction and no remorse; my empathy is minimal. I suppose I should have said I'm disgusted at myself.

Knave
21st April 09, 10:19 AM
Greetings.

I wish the police would round up beggars, bring them to abandoned buildings, and shoot them. Would be doing us all a favor.

WarPhalange
21st April 09, 10:52 AM
Oh wait, I'm sorry. I forgot to take you, Poop Loops, into consideration.

This is where I remind you that you protect and serve the public, i.e. me. Making me pay for someone else doesn't serve me. Protection?


That's fine I'll just let the guy purchase liquor with YOUR oops, I mean your mom's money (since you don't work), purchase illegal substances,

Right. How is he going to get my (oops, my mom's) money if I don't give him more than a dollar? Whereas by going to jail he is guaranteed to take my money, get acquainted with all sorts of criminals that will further harden him and make him:


break into YOUR eh, there I go again; your mom's car or her house. I'll also allow him to get into fights and commit all sorts of violent crimes with your mom's money.

Panhandling leads to mass murder. Got it. Not being exposed to other criminals with no ability to get away. Also, what kind of violent crimes can he commit with a dollar or two?

Get used to being a grunt, EQ. Nobody in their right mind would put you in a decision-making position.


Furthermore, if you want to call a spade a spade, then it's my job to make sure he gets the adequate food,shelter, etc. he needs versus a never ending diet of malted beverages.

Being an alcoholic is against the law. Why didn't I get the memo? The only people I want in prison are the ones who pose a threat to me or my loved ones. A guy at a gas station asking for change is an annoyance, not a threat. A drunk, homeless guy on the street isn't a threat and he needs to go to a homeless shelter, not be punished for doing absolutely nothing.

Fuck, I hate people who follow the law while completely ignoring why the law was put into place.

kracker
21st April 09, 10:53 AM
Thanks. You spared me from giving him a dollar tops, so that now I can pay for his meals, clothing, medical care, hygiene, and shelter.

Dumbass.

This. Plus the whole homeless people are human beings thing.

kracker
21st April 09, 11:02 AM
Oh wait, I'm sorry. I forgot to take you, Poop Loops, into consideration. That's fine I'll just let the guy purchase liquor with YOUR oops, I mean your mom's money (since you don't work), purchase illegal substances, break into YOUR eh, there I go again; your mom's car or her house. I'll also allow him to get into fights and commit all sorts of violent crimes with your mom's money.
.

You can't judge all homeless people based on a few "bad apples." You're judging all homeless people based on a few "isolated incidences." WHAM walked right into that one didn't ya.

WarPhalange
21st April 09, 11:03 AM
Exactly, so they have a choice even now. I'm all for helping them, but that's now what prison is for. I want him to 1) work for his money if he can and 2) not be exposed to other criminals

I mean, what the fuck do you charge him with?

Kein Haar
21st April 09, 11:47 AM
What the fuck do you think?

HappyOldGuy
21st April 09, 11:48 AM
sitting while black

kracker
21st April 09, 12:13 PM
I mean, what the fuck do you charge him with?

There's lots of stuff they can charge him with. Just use ye olde drop knife, drop gun, drop bag etc it doesn't matter what they charge him with because people are too stupid to figure out that there is a fairy probable chance the cop is lying.

kracker
21st April 09, 12:18 PM
Greetings.

I wish the police would round up beggars, bring them to abandoned buildings, and shoot them. Would be doing us all a favor.

Greetings,

Are you aware you sound like the kind of dude who's freezer is fully stocked with human heads?

Ajamil
21st April 09, 02:47 PM
It was a common joke amongst my old circle of friends that if you need money, just roll some bums because they usually have quite a large stash hidden on them from panhandling.

Realistically tho, a great number of homeless are mentally ill, either from a great majority of them being released from centers under Reagan admin., or veterans unable to adjust due to PTSD or whatever reason.

WarPhalange
21st April 09, 02:55 PM
And for that they should be executed, or at least arrested and detained.

Tanhalen21
21st April 09, 03:12 PM
is giving money to hobos really any different than tipping a doorman or bathroom attendant?
Yes. Because hobos aren't doing anything but making the streets an unpleasant place to walk on, whereas a doorman / bathroom attendant is filling a space in the workforce and is actually hired by someone to do a service rather than ask people for free money.

kracker
21st April 09, 03:25 PM
Yes. Because hobos aren't doing anything but making the streets an unpleasant place to walk on, whereas a doorman / bathroom attendant is filling a space in the workforce and is actually hired by someone to do a service rather than ask people for free money.

How do they make the streets unpleasant? I don't know about where you live but where I live the hobos are always friendly, smiling and respectful. They provide the same service as greeters at Wal Mart, except they do a far better job of it IMHO.

kracker
21st April 09, 03:29 PM
And for that they should be executed, or at least arrested and detained.

It depends. If you are a psychotic badge licker then the answer is a definite yes. If you are a sane human being capable of empathy then the answer is no.

OZZ
21st April 09, 03:32 PM
I find that I have less and less compassion for the beggars as time goes on. I do give money to guys who play guitar or bongos or something though, at least they're doing something.
In my city, you tend to see the same beggars a fair bit, so they are easy to ignore for the most part.
The Dundas and Clarence guy:
"Spare some change for a bit of breakfast, dude?"''
If you see him in the morning.
The Dundas and Richmond guy:
" Change, buddy?"

etc. etc.

Fuck Off.

Zendetta
21st April 09, 06:28 PM
How do they make the streets unpleasant?

I live in an area that doesn't get any rain from may to october, and I find the odor of other people's urine to be unpleasant.

socratic
21st April 09, 06:31 PM
Some homeless/beggars/panhandlers are also quite aggressive, and the fact that they shit and piss on the street is kinda annoying.

Zendetta
21st April 09, 06:31 PM
Greetings.

I wish the police would round up beggars, bring them to abandoned buildings, and shoot them. Would be doing us all a favor.

You might like Brazil. Have you though of immigrating? They are way into that kind of thing, and the women are gorgeous.

Equipoise
21st April 09, 07:31 PM
This is where I remind you that you protect and serve the public, i.e. me. Making me pay for someone else doesn't serve me. Protection?

Again, the world doesn't revolve around you. No matter what your mom tells you when your feelings get hurt. The homeless person that gets put in rehab, safelight, turnaround and the loads of other programs that stem from me locking them up DO get service. Apparently you missed the part about them getting treatment, food and what not despite the fact that I pointed that out in my previous post.




Right. How is he going to get my (oops, my mom's) money if I don't give him more than a dollar? Whereas by going to jail he is guaranteed to take my money, get acquainted with all sorts of criminals that will further harden him and make him:


See above. Also, those rehabilitation and job placement programs have a 43 % success rate, however they have to be emplaced from the corrections system first.



Panhandling leads to mass murder. Got it. Not being exposed to other criminals with no ability to get away. Also, what kind of violent crimes can he commit with a dollar or two?

Sensationalism for the purpose of making your argument via a strawman argument isn't going to fly. There are a multitude of corollaries between homeless and part one crimes, but your head is too far up your ass and you're too used to your cushy suburban life to know that.


Get used to being a grunt, EQ. Nobody in their right mind would put you in a decision-making position.


Joke's on you! ;-)



Being an alcoholic is against the law. Why didn't I get the memo? The only people I want in prison are the ones who pose a threat to me or my loved ones. A guy at a gas station asking for change is an annoyance, not a threat. A drunk, homeless guy on the street isn't a threat and he needs to go to a homeless shelter, not be punished for doing absolutely nothing.




Fuck, I hate people who follow the law while completely ignoring why the law was put into place.

Do some research before you venture down this road.

kracker
21st April 09, 08:50 PM
Again, the world doesn't revolve around you. No matter what your mom tells you when your feelings get hurt. The homeless person that gets put in rehab, safelight, turnaround and the loads of other programs that stem from me locking them up DO get service. Apparently you missed the part about them getting treatment, food and what not despite the fact that I pointed that out in my previous post..

Contrary to what you may think getting thrown into sodomy central does NOT make one a better person. Once you've been to prison you belong there.



Sensationalism for the purpose of making your argument via a strawman argument isn't going to fly. There are a multitude of corollaries between homeless and part one crimes, but your head is too far up your ass and you're too used to your cushy suburban life to know this.

It's not sensationalism. Did you or did you not say that you want to lock up hobos indiscriminantly because they MIGHT commit acts of violence? And if you really want to go down that road there are a multitude of corollaries between COPS and brutality. How do you think the number of hobo related murders stack up to unjustifiable police murders?

Knave
21st April 09, 11:42 PM
Greetings.


Did you or did you not say that you want to lock up hobos indiscriminantly because they MIGHT commit acts of violence?

How about we just lock them up for being worthless, smelly, and unpleasant. Who gives a shit about crime prevention. I don't like seeing dirty people begging me for money when I get off the interstate.


You might like Brazil. Have you though of immigrating? They are way into that kind of thing, and the women are gorgeous.

I got my piratebay Rosetta Stone Brazilian Portuguese already, but it would be years before I'd be comfortable enough to try moving there.

kracker
22nd April 09, 09:47 AM
Greetings.
How about we just lock them up for being worthless, smelly, and unpleasant. Who gives a shit about crime prevention. I don't like seeing dirty people begging me for money when I get off the interstate.
.

Are you a cop dude? Seriously, how the fuck did you not get screened out for psychological reasons. I knew academy standards were lax as fuck bet still.

Equipoise
22nd April 09, 09:51 AM
Kracker, I realize that you're the resident village idiot of Sociocide, but READ other's posts before you make your own.

kracker
22nd April 09, 10:25 AM
I got my piratebay Rosetta Stone Brazilian Portuguese already, but it would be years before I'd be comfortable enough to try moving there.

LMAO I can't believe I missed that the first time. Pirating software is a crime dude. If the police busted into your house with no probable cause right now and found it, you'd be in some serious shit.

Equipoise
22nd April 09, 05:19 PM
Because arresting people who use overpriced learning software to better themselves is my top priority.....

Fearless Ukemi
22nd April 09, 05:32 PM
I'd rather you arrest the assholes that hang out at the bus stop in front of my building every god damned day asking everyone for money. I, for one, appreciate it. Someday I'm going to get arrested for punching one of them in the face. Some people have no fucking shame. I actually used to give them money too... what a fool I was.


I watched one of them snatch a pack ofcigarettes right out of some woman's hand as she was getting ready to light one up and run off with it. If that was someone I knew or cared about, he'd have a toothless mouth right now.

Spade: The Real Snake
22nd April 09, 05:52 PM
While living in SF, I learned of the practice of taking a "doggy bag" even it you weren't planning on eating the leftovers. The standard practice was to leave the "doggy bag" on the nearest newspaper dispenser and the bums would come along and take it. I always kept my leftovers and frequently had bums ask me for them, which earned them a "fuck you I'm eating it".

The bakeries would also not sell their day-old stuff but set it out in clean boxes at the end of every day for the bums.

I've had a couple of bums approach me here and ask for money and I tell them if they are hungry, I'll go buy them some food, I've had only one accept.

If they ask for money for gas, I will ask them which gas station are they located, I'll be happy to put a couple of gallons in their tank, only to receive a stream of stammering.

One afternoon, I picked up my son from school and he wanted a snack from Sonic. So I order his stuff and some fucking bum is hanging around the drive-thru menu saying, "I wish I had money for French Toast Sticks..I wish I had money for an Ocean Water."
"What do you want, I'll buy it for you."
"Can you give me $5 for a burger?"
"No, I'll buy you a burger."
"Honestly...I just want the money for beer."

Now, this pissed me off because he did this in front of my kid, so I proceeded to set an extremely poor example for the boy as I told him:

"You motherfucker....you complain you are hungry, I offer a burger and you turn around and spit in my fucking face with a I WANT BEER comment. Go fuck yourself you fucking worthless fucking shitbag."

FickleFingerOfFate
22nd April 09, 05:57 PM
"You motherfucker....you complain you are hungry, I offer a burger and you turn around and spit in my fucking face with a I WANT BEER comment. Go fuck yourself you fucking worthless fucking shitbag."


I'm guessing you weren't a Dale Carnegie graduate...

Spade: The Real Snake
22nd April 09, 06:06 PM
I'm guessing you weren't a Dale Carnegie graduate...

I must spread something around before giving you more of it.

Fuck him in his railjumping fucking hobo ass.

Neildo
22nd April 09, 07:23 PM
one time a guy straight up asked me if i had a little change so he could get a beer. i asked him how much he needed, and gave him the exact amount to go buy a cheap ass 40oz bottle of OE or bull max or whatever that nasty fucking shit was called. i think it was $1.37 or so. i appreciated his honesty. in your case though, i would have done the same thing. and then told my son that that was what you say to those kinds of people. life lesson.

WarPhalange
22nd April 09, 07:33 PM
How about we just lock them up for being worthless, smelly, and unpleasant.

So you're saying we should lock up any infants we encounter, too?

elipson
22nd April 09, 08:42 PM
YES.

Spade: The Real Snake
22nd April 09, 11:30 PM
one time a guy straight up asked me if i had a little change so he could get a beer. i asked him how much he needed, and gave him the exact amount to go buy a cheap ass 40oz bottle of OE or bull max or whatever that nasty fucking shit was called. i think it was $1.37 or so. i appreciated his honesty. in your case though, i would have done the same thing. and then told my son that that was what you say to those kinds of people. life lesson.

Yes, it was a fun evening when he regaled Mama with the tale of "Daddy saying a bunch of naughty words and telling a hobo at Sonic he would beat him up."

Knave
23rd April 09, 12:45 AM
Greetings.


So you're saying we should lock up any infants we encounter, too?

Finally you're starting to get me.

What do you call a hobo that gets run over in a train tunnel?

MISSING PERSON HA HA

WarPhalange
23rd April 09, 12:55 AM
...doesn't that apply to anybody, not just hobos?

socratic
23rd April 09, 12:57 AM
What do you call a hobo that gets run over in a train tunnel?

A self correcting problem.

I keed! I keed!

nihilist
23rd April 09, 02:40 AM
I use the wait and see test.

I wait to give money until I have a chance to see if they are out there at the same corner everyday.

If they are indeed career bums then they get nothing.

Lebell
23rd April 09, 07:04 AM
you guiz...

the solution is simple.
round the hobo's homeless people and drifters up.
put them in working camps.

the insane among them you can always ehr...be mercifull on.

you put them in camps where they get a rigorous discipline, they have to shave and bathe on a daily basis.
If they have worked hard for a month they'll get free dental care and after 4 months some medical treatment.

homeless people are often monkeys who never understood that work equals money equals benefits.
force them to appreciate the benefits.

pro's: shitty jobs get done, people get jobs in guarding/coaching the hobo's, illegal aliens stay away because their shitty jobs are now filled by shitty hobo's.

its all about efficient managing of your nations human resources.

Neildo
23rd April 09, 07:54 AM
finally uploaded images off my phone to the internetz

http://neildato.googlepages.com/0903121014000.jpg

Lebell
23rd April 09, 10:28 AM
hang on...bums with laptops?!

wow...

Spade: The Real Snake
23rd April 09, 11:10 AM
hang on...bums with laptops?!

wow...

They are Dutch Bums mooring up outside McDonalds to steal wi-fi.

nihilist
23rd April 09, 11:38 AM
you guiz...

the solution is simple.
round the hobo's homeless people and drifters up.
put them in working camps.

the insane among them you can always ehr...be mercifull on.

you put them in camps where they get a rigorous discipline, they have to shave and bathe on a daily basis.
If they have worked hard for a month they'll get free dental care and after 4 months some medical treatment.

homeless people are often monkeys who never understood that work equals money equals benefits.
force them to appreciate the benefits.

pro's: shitty jobs get done, people get jobs in guarding/coaching the hobo's, illegal aliens stay away because their shitty jobs are now filled by shitty hobo's.

its all about efficient managing of your nations human resources.

We already have Mexicans doing that.

EuropIan
24th April 09, 04:11 AM
hang on...bums with laptops?!

wow...
I've seen winos with swanky mobile phones too.

Lebell
24th April 09, 08:38 AM
man im in the wrong bussiness.

im giving up pimping, im becoming a bum!

wait..


nevermind.

Tanhalen21
25th April 09, 02:35 AM
Wait Neildo let me guess... East Hastings?

Neildo
25th April 09, 07:50 AM
robson and granville. about 5 blocks south of hastings.

Toby Christensen
3rd May 09, 07:16 PM
No.

I was shocked when my Tibetan friend said no to one...

"You're a Buddhist!"
"So?"
"That person needed money!"
"People don't need to beg in Australia. They can go to Centrelink".

If people have the pension or the dole, budgetting or getting someone else to do it will ensure you always have some cash.

So where does THEIR cash go?

I could headbutt some for their insolence, fucking grubs, :rolleyes:

Being unemployed, I at least have standards to maintain. (It does suck though)

new2bjj
5th May 09, 04:09 PM
I am pretty Liberal, politically, and being from Berkeley, you would think I'm all about the handout. That being said, my rich girlfriend's parents, when I was in high school, 30 years ago, said "new2Bjj must love the homeless!" to which she replied "No, new2bjj hates bums!". I've been like that ever since. Much love for the working people, none for the parasites. Of course, parasites include regional and middle mangement, CEO's, Brokers, lawyers and so on.

nihilist
5th May 09, 11:05 PM
I tell them I have a job waiting for them and that usually shuts them up.

socratic
5th May 09, 11:13 PM
I'd be more than willing to buy the occasional meal for a homeless person but 99% of the time they won't accept that.

I think this is the good kind of giving that should be encouraged:
jfkAm3s7Mec

Edit: I guess you could say he got taken for a ride, but he knew what he was doing, and the way the first one got all weepy when he gave the card and cash to her kinda tugs on ya heartstrings.

new2bjj
6th May 09, 01:12 PM
Karma is real. If you give to a bum in need, the universe will bless you. However, if you give to an alcoholic beggar pulling down 40 G's a year, you will be raped by wildebeasts. It is so hard to tell the difference I just don't bother.

I forgot to include IT people in my list of parasites. My bad.

Right now, my company has spent $ 20,000,000 on CRM software that has slowed us down, lost us business, and entrenched a bunch of worthless managers and H1 visa pricks to help "manage the process". They are worse then bums- at least you can avoid the homeless.

HappyOldGuy
6th May 09, 02:23 PM
suck it baby. suck it hard

You don't own it anymore, we do.

new2bjj
6th May 09, 02:45 PM
suck it baby. suck it hard

You don't own it anymore, we do.

No offense, but keep it up, we'll all be homeless. 90% of what these guys are doing could be handled by a paper daytimer. Cost $ 15.00 at officemax.

HappyOldGuy
6th May 09, 03:35 PM
No offense, but keep it up, we'll all be homeless. 90% of what these guys are doing could be handled by a paper daytimer. Cost $ 15.00 at officemax.

Then what's stopping you?

Answer, you absolutely need these folks to be competitive and it drives your control freak brain into a frenzy.

So I repeat...

Suck it harder.

new2bjj
6th May 09, 04:08 PM
You know why CRM software is so expensive? Because it is worth it. Nothing like knowing who your customers are, what they want, what they will want, and which ones to spend your effort on.

Oh you can predict all that, with your pivot tables? I don't think so.

In the words of a man smarter and richer then all of us put together, Taleb-

of you who spend way too much time forecasting and spreadsheet-jockeying will love this insight:

(In the pre-computer days)...the activity of projecting, in short, was effortful, undesirable, and marred with self-doubt. But things changed with the intrusion of the spreadsheet. When you put an Excel spreadsheet into computer-literate hands you get a "sales projection" effortlessly extending ad infinitum! Once on a page or on a computer screen, or, worse, in a PowerPoint presentation, the projection takes on a life of its own.-

In all honesty, you can mine data all you fucking want, but it isn't going to predict shit. Sales are made by people, at least big ones, convincing other people to buy stuff, not by clicking buttons on CRM software. How do you think they sold the suckers in upper management? They didn't show them how much trouble this would be, or how it works, they showed them a powerpoint! Heaven forbid they asked some of the people that would have to use it, and sell from it. And yes, I can use "CRM" software. I could get better results from a $ 79.95 disc of ACT or Goldmine.

Sadly, it is not my decision. Someone said it costs "$ 20 million! We have to use it!" How much did the Concorde or Titanic cost?

new2bjj
6th May 09, 04:40 PM
Pivot tables my ass. It's all about databases and writing the right queries. Keeping track of and analyzing existing customer behavior is one of the profitable things a company with a decent number of customers can do. This is why so many large companies spend so much money on this stuff.

Ah, but where do you get the Data, and what queries? Here is our story.

We spent a load of money on this junk to replace some outdated sales software that, while unstable, was designed specifically for us. Instead, we went with the big name. Anyway, 3 months into the roll out, we ask,
"by the way, where is the current leasing information for our customers"
"ummm, leasing information? Why? "
"Well, 75 % of our customers lease, and we need to know when to upgrade them, what they pay, etc. actually we would prefer if they all leased..."

So, 3 months in, and no lease information. Finally, they put it in, 6 months later.

"Where are the notes from the old system"
"What notes?"
"You know, what appointments, what we said, that stuff"
"Oh, we imported a database from D &B "
"So we have known of the notes from our previous contacts with competitive users?"

-Silence-

add 2 months.

"We thought you were getting rid of all the duplicates that slowed down the search for accounts"
"We'll, we had to import EVERYTHING from the old system"
"But we had cleaned and marked all the bad accounts in the old system!"
"Really?"

1 year and counting. So now, the system we have, that costs $ 20 million dollars, is slower and harder to use than the "old, outdated technology". Also, we are losing customers daily because of dropped calls and service exculations when the "new " system says they don't have service, even if they do.

HappyOldGuy
6th May 09, 04:59 PM
Sounds more like an implementation problem than a problem with the software itself.

"It's a poor workman who blames his tools."

Although to be fair. The CRM tools all do suck ass.

new2bjj
6th May 09, 05:00 PM
Well, no one asked me what tool, they just forced it on me. I can actually Google this company and see what the problems are. First off, it's fucking web based, so it's slow as shit. Second, the problem is, it was implemented by software geeks, not sales people. Third the shit was designed for an an entirely unrelated industry, and usual, management types, who make "predictions" got this huge hard on and thought "They're a market leader, they use it, therefore it must be one of the big reasons WHY they are a market leader!". As opposed to, you know, a good product and sales and service.

And, guess what, we sales people don't have all day to fucking help "implement (shoehorn)" in some product with a shit GUI and are POORLY DESIGNED account page.

All we do right now is click buttons like something is happening with these customers, even though nothing is. The CRM must be fed- "look someone did a new query! Oh my god! We are missing all these opportunities!" most of the companies in one "query" we're either out of business or did not use the technology that was "queried" anymore.

Lebell
28th May 09, 06:27 AM
okay...i just had the weirdest encounter...
came out of the supermarket, and at the edge of the parking lot there's this huge alcoholic bum shouting my name...
waving at me.

im like: wtf?!
i walk up to him and he says: hey! how are you man! its been ages!
say, you got an euro for me by any chance?!
me: huh? what? who are..yeah sure...
gave him the euro and asked him how he knew my name.
he's like: forgotten bout me?! mumble mumble...and starts waving around the can of beer...
i sorta push him back and said: hey now, you're not going to hit me are you?

he's like: you're gonna die!!!
me: yes in due time.we all gonna die.

i still don't know how he knew my name.

fuckingh weird.


maybe it was jesus testing me?

bob
28th May 09, 07:30 AM
No matter how many times you brush him in public he's still your dad Lebell.

Lebell
28th May 09, 09:10 AM
my dad looks totally not like him.
though he sorta looked familiar...maybe ill give my dad a call to see if we dont have any strange uncles.

HappyOldGuy
28th May 09, 11:33 AM
Wasn't me. My sign says, "will architect snowflake topologies for food."

new2bjj
28th May 09, 08:44 PM
This stupid bum on the corner tried to sell me some CRM software. Stupid panhandlers.

The drama continues- some dipshit download some file that took two days and locked up the entire database for the US operations. If only we could put that guy out in front of a supermarket.

bobyclumsyninja
29th May 09, 03:48 AM
uh...I give to panhandlers. I just gave 2 bucks to an older hispanic dude who was getting cans out of our recycling. I actually went out to make sure nobody was fucking with our scooters (it was 4:30 am, and we've had one stolen before, someone's got a bad one coming) , but it was all good.

A homeless friend of ours just passed away. He was a vet, and shook from it. His mom died years and years ago of cancer, and he never got over it. He spent 20 something years on the street.

He practically lived in front of the L, near the train station by us. I'd give him money almost daily, we'd set change aside from our tips for him. There's a memorial to him, down there now. I taped a guitar pic to the pole. He loved the Pat's and the Sox, and was a tragically tortured soul, as am I, in my own way.

I don't give change to kids younger than me, but I do help others when I can (meaning the opportunity is there, not can I afford it, which I never can).

Giving helps the giver, as much as the receiver (insert dutch, I mean...drty jk plz).


I've had some craaaazy experiences with the homeless, and panhandlers in general...but I try to treat them on a case-by-case, assuming they're not getting all up in my video, so to speak. I need space from everyone but my girl, so that's not much of a demand...beyond my normal.

p.s. I've also had the "your gonna die" guy, I wonder if he travels much?

Lebell
29th May 09, 08:03 AM
uh...I give to panhandlers. I just gave 2 bucks to an older hispanic dude who was getting cans out of our recycling.


what has the etnicity of the bum to do with all this?
zomg...racism...



I actually went out to make sure nobody was fucking with our scooters (it was 4:30 am, and we've had one stolen before, someone's got a bad one coming) , but it was all good.

oh noes..you're not of those douchebags who drives a scooter to get that european vibe are you?
i would be totally dissapointed.
if i'd live in america i'd drive a big SUV with decapitated heads on it and spikes and shit and ofcourse a confederate flag.


A homeless friend of ours just passed away. He was a vet, and shook from it. His mom died years and years ago of cancer, and he never got over it. He spent 20 something years on the street.

He practically lived in front of the L, near the train station by us. I'd give him money almost daily, we'd set change aside from our tips for him. There's a memorial to him, down there now.

Thats tragic.
How old did he become?




Giving helps the giver, as much as the receiver (insert dutch, I mean...drty jk plz).


This bum is sleeping near the gate of the mansion of a millionaire...a gay millionaire.
Round 4 in the morning while the bum is asleep the millionaire comes home from a party and he didnt score, he takes a look at the bum and says...hm why not?
he fucks the bum up the ass and leaves a 20 note in his jacket.

the following morning the bum wakes up and finds the 20$ note.
he is happy and buys 6packs of heineken at the local liquor store.

the following night the same thing happens, gay milionaire, buttshecks, 20$, bum buys heineken 6packs at local liquor store.

now this goes on for some 2 weeks and the owner of the liquor store is getting suspicious, he decides to ask the bum how he get that money so all of a sudden.
the bum walks in and orders sixpacks of budweiser...
the store owner asks him why budweiser and not heineken.
bum says: i dunno man, heineken somehow gives me a sore ass..




p.s. I've also had the "your gonna die" guy, I wonder if he travels much?

Well, he's fucking huge, 6'7 covered in tattoos and waggeling.
sounds familiar?

bobyclumsyninja
29th May 09, 12:05 PM
oh noes..you're not of those douchebags who drives a scooter to get that european vibe are you?
i would be totally dissapointed.

You mean in addition to being European?



Thats tragic.
How old did he become?
Sixty summit. T knows his actual age, I can hardly remember my own. he was good people, in his own way. He used to sleep in our garage sometimes, when the weather got messed up. It wasn't a particularily comfortable situation, but neither was his. He hid in there from people messing with him sometimes, and so a few times, I had to get in people's face ugly-like to keep him safe.

He was well liked by most, in the neighborhood, but there are always a few idiots who'll throw stones, or intimidate him. I just returned the favor, on his behalf (intim. I don't throw stones). Kids from other parts of the hood would visit friends, and not know, how many people had his back. I was happy to enlighten them, and did on occasion, bring in the coppers, so I wouldn't have to beat up minors.


Well, he's fucking huge, 6'7 covered in tattoos and waggeling.
sounds familiar?
No, this guy looked like Rick Moranis had a love child with the short guy from the princess bride, but sweaty.

SuperGuido
29th May 09, 01:04 PM
A handicapped girl with one leg asked me for a dollar the other day at the gas station.

I gave her a dollar.

She then asked everyone else, then came back to me and asked again.

I said, "I already gave you money. I have some left over fries if you want them."

I was leaving happy hour with the coworkers, and had some awesome brewery fries in a carton.

She said, "No thanks, I'm on a diet."

WTF?

Neildo
29th May 09, 08:02 PM
only in cali.

oh no wait i tried to give a guy a burger once and he said he was a vegetarian. i almost kicked him.

and one time at christmas i went downtown with my mum (who is poor and disabled) while she tried to give out food to the bums. they kept turning down the food and asking for money.

Adouglasmhor
30th May 09, 03:01 AM
okay...i just had the weirdest encounter...
came out of the supermarket, and at the edge of the parking lot there's this huge alcoholic bum shouting my name...
waving at me.

im like: wtf?!
i walk up to him and he says: hey! how are you man! its been ages!
say, you got an euro for me by any chance?!
me: huh? what? who are..yeah sure...
gave him the euro and asked him how he knew my name.
he's like: forgotten bout me?! mumble mumble...and starts waving around the can of beer...
i sorta push him back and said: hey now, you're not going to hit me are you?

he's like: you're gonna die!!!
me: yes in due time.we all gonna die.

i still don't know how he knew my name.

fuckingh weird.


maybe it was jesus testing me?


You just met your future self Lebel. Change your ways now.

Lebell
30th May 09, 05:10 AM
shut up you twat.
i can never become an alcoholic because i get sick of beer the day after an hangover, i coulkdnt drink too much for two days straight even if i wanted.

Neildo
30th May 09, 07:53 AM
and you call yourself european. *rolls eyes*

Lebell
30th May 09, 08:50 AM
im a poor example of a european.

bobyclumsyninja
30th May 09, 10:28 AM
get a scooter, it'll help

Lebell
30th May 09, 12:22 PM
you think so?

i dont know, im more of european like they were back in the dark middleages.

JohnnyCache
30th May 09, 12:58 PM
so can we just set up a fucking pool on how long equipoise is going to stay a hsld rookie-mindset cop?

I give him 3 more years before he does a heel-face turn and becomes Vic from the shield

bobyclumsyninja
30th May 09, 01:07 PM
you think so?

i dont know, im more of european like they were back in the dark middleages.

you mean haven't bathed since childhood, except via inclement weather?

Lebell
30th May 09, 01:25 PM
there's more then that to be a real european, it also involves snobism, colonialism and unnatural sex.

you've been away for too long, you have lost your ways.


jonhnny cache, i liked the commish better.

fes_fsa
30th May 09, 01:46 PM
i don't give to bums because i believe in karma and reincarnation.

i'm convinced that they did something horrible in their past life, so they're paying for it in this one.

makes me seem like an asshole... but whatever.

"what ed? you lost your job and you're hungry? then you shouldn't have raped all those women in your last life."

"what suzie? you're homeless because your dad and brothers have been raping you since you were 4 and you finally mustered up the balls to run away? you should've thought of that when you baked all those jews in the '40's."

Lebell
30th May 09, 01:55 PM
they didnt bake them, they burned them.
besides, if you cant stand the heat get out of the oven.

Ajamil
30th May 09, 03:05 PM
i don't give to bums because i believe in karma and reincarnation.

i'm convinced that they did something horrible in their past life, so they're paying for it in this one.

I like to imagine their karmic crime was being cold and heartless towards bums. See you in your next life, fes.

bobyclumsyninja
30th May 09, 03:15 PM
I like to imagine their karmic crime was being cold and heartless towards bums. See you in your next life, fes.
EPIC win ^^^

Adouglasmhor
30th May 09, 04:33 PM
shut up you twat.
i can never become an alcoholic because i get sick of beer the day after an hangover, i coulkdnt drink too much for two days straight even if i wanted.

Language Timothy.

Antifa
30th May 09, 04:36 PM
they didnt bake them, they burned them.
besides, if you cant stand the heat get out of the oven.

this makes me angry

fes_fsa
30th May 09, 04:54 PM
I like to imagine their karmic crime was being cold and heartless towards bums. See you in your next life, fes.

i've had this conversation with Steve already.

i imagine in my next life, i'll either be black or gay.

and in the south.

Cullion
30th May 09, 05:18 PM
You'll be a man in your next life.

fes_fsa
30th May 09, 05:27 PM
so... i'll be a poonhandler?

socratic
30th May 09, 10:34 PM
so... i'll be a poonhandler?

No, you'll be Toby.

A homeless Toby.

bobyclumsyninja
30th May 09, 10:39 PM
no, she'll be toby's pet mutt, bibbles. Bibbles gets to cozy up next to the future's homeless toby every night mmmmmmmmm.

Harpy
30th May 09, 10:58 PM
and one time at christmas i went downtown with my mum (who is poor and disabled) while she tried to give out food to the bums. they kept turning down the food and asking for money.

Neildo, please give your mum a hug, she sounds like a really sweet lady.

Ajamil
30th May 09, 11:36 PM
If I ever am able, I will buy someone a meal. If it looks like someone spanging as they thumb across the country, I can be persuaded to give. That's about the extent of my surprise charity.

fes_fsa
31st May 09, 02:18 AM
No, you'll be Toby.

A homeless Toby.

so... i'll be the type of Toby you LIKE (the kind without a computer)?

fes_fsa
31st May 09, 02:26 AM
If I ever am able, I will buy someone a meal. If it looks like someone spanging as they thumb across the country, I can be persuaded to give. That's about the extent of my surprise charity.

what do you mean "if you're able"? you mean you can't spare two bucks for a couple double cheeseburgers from McDonald's?

Lebell
31st May 09, 04:03 AM
i've had this conversation with Steve already.

i imagine in my next life, i'll either be black or gay.

and in the south.

no you'll live and work in manilla in your next life.

and guess what?

i got this feeling i will be reincanating as a sailor...

Cullion
31st May 09, 05:35 AM
^ This sounds like the beginning of true love.

Lebell
31st May 09, 06:01 AM
what do you mean with ' the beginning' ?
try to keep up, fes is going to leave her family to elope with me, we'll be living in alaska where i wrestle polarbears for a living and fes will be clubbing baby seals.

we got it all figured out.

Cullion
31st May 09, 06:18 AM
You're going to be so happy together. Can I perform the wedding ceremony?

I can do druid, drunken sex-criminal catholic priest or Elvis.

Lebell
31st May 09, 06:21 AM
ehr...if you can work on a aleister crowley act you can consider yourself hired.
if you crap in public on the weddingcake there's an extra 100 in it for you.

Cullion
31st May 09, 06:23 AM
I will need one of Fes' hot female friends or relatives for the ritual.

Lebell
31st May 09, 06:26 AM
she doesnt have friends.

im sure we can hire a local woman.

Ajamil
31st May 09, 11:13 AM
what do you mean "if you're able"? you mean you can't spare two bucks for a couple double cheeseburgers from McDonald's?

These days, yes I can spare it. Before, when it was "do I eat or do I keep a place to live?" I didn't have the money to spare. I also do not always have money on me to give.

Adouglasmhor
31st May 09, 11:14 AM
what do you mean "if you're able"? you mean you can't spare two bucks for a couple double cheeseburgers from McDonald's?

You just asked a follower of Veda thought to buy dead cow?

fes_fsa
31st May 09, 04:06 PM
no you'll live and work in manilla in your next life.

and guess what?

i got this feeling i will be reincanating as a sailor...

ummm... i came to the States when i was 3.

i already lived and had a fulltime job in Manila.

Lebell
1st June 09, 04:55 AM
ummm... i came to the States when i was 3.

i already lived and had a fulltime job in Manila.


zomg zomg...

you are....PERFECT!

Lebell
2nd June 09, 12:34 PM
i dont fucking believe it....

justearlier i went out to have boxing tiem, walked over the parkinglot towards the gym and suddenly: HEY....OI YOU!!! *really rude manner* this big fat drunken bum is coming towards me.
' oh boy here we go..' i thought.

' whats up?'

' GIMME A GODDAMN LIGHT NOW!'

' i dont have anything on me, sorry dude.'

' AARGH! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! PIECE OF SHIT!!!'

mkay...

one of these days im going to not walk on, turn around and beat the FUCK out of one of those bastards.
i dont care if i get aids.
i still pissed off now i recall it.

Toby Christensen
2nd June 09, 11:48 PM
No, you'll be Toby.

A homeless Toby.

Cool. That means I get to scrounge from people coming into my bro's restaurant.

"Can ya spare two bucks?"
"What?! It's a RESTAURANT! If you're hungry, get some food from there"
*torrent of bad language from me as the fear of my junk dealer mixes with my frustration*

bobyclumsyninja
14th June 09, 05:28 AM
I've been working homeless in the past. I went through it, rather than move in w/ parents again...after a rather poorly planned cross-continental move.
I toughed it out for some months, but never asked for *sings*money for nothing, I used my skilly skillz to get tips, and thus, Bobbyclumsyninja the subway legend was borne (superagent str33t skillz I tell u). After that I lived for some time in a rehearsal building, which was crazier than most of you could ever imagine...no wonder I'm such an obnoxious prick.

It's probably because of that, that I give change to people (homeless not prick), whether or not I think they'll spend it on booze/weed/name-a-drug. Poor people, expecially the 'beggar' class have always drowned their sorrows in alcohol/drugs. It's part of a grand tradition. We owe our amazing variety of beers/lagers/booze to the poor, and downtrodden's inebriation.

Beggars can't be choosers, as the saying goes...so of course, no one's required to help someone in that one on one situation, if they don't want to, short of a robbery. I don't think we should resent people who do give, though. They're not automatically marks and suckers for giving...even when the odds that it'll go to drink are high.

Lots of people who give, know the deal. Even relative to the economic layout of the subway crowd, I still get a completely disproportionate ammount of tips/cd sales from people with very little money. From what I've seen, the same goes for 'spare change' to people in the str33t.

Empathy is a great lubricant (go ahead Lebell, I left that one for you).

Kiko
14th June 09, 08:29 AM
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/6/13/128893803591747891.jpg

Lebell
15th June 09, 01:50 PM
I've been working homeless in the past. I went through it, rather than move in w/ parents again...after a rather poorly planned cross-continental move.
I toughed it out for some months, but never asked for *sings*money for nothing, I used my skilly skillz to get tips, and thus, Bobbyclumsyninja the subway legend was borne (superagent str33t skillz I tell u). After that I lived for some time in a rehearsal building, which was crazier than most of you could ever imagine...no wonder I'm such an obnoxious prick.

It's probably because of that, that I give change to people (homeless not prick), whether or not I think they'll spend it on booze/weed/name-a-drug. Poor people, expecially the 'beggar' class have always drowned their sorrows in alcohol/drugs. It's part of a grand tradition. We owe our amazing variety of beers/lagers/booze to the poor, and downtrodden's inebriation.

Beggars can't be choosers, as the saying goes...so of course, no one's required to help someone in that one on one situation, if they don't want to, short of a robbery. I don't think we should resent people who do give, though. They're not automatically marks and suckers for giving...even when the odds that it'll go to drink are high.

Lots of people who give, know the deal. Even relative to the economic layout of the subway crowd, I still get a completely disproportionate ammount of tips/cd sales from people with very little money. From what I've seen, the same goes for 'spare change' to people in the str33t.

Empathy is a great lubricant (go ahead Lebell, I left that one for you).

Both lubrecant and being homeless rocks.

its like you dont have to bathe and nobody can tell you what to do, except for the cops if you're sleeping at some posh place and the rich people are disturbed by your smell.
you also dont have to pay taxes or go to the doctor for shots.
awesome.

i went drifting through france in a past life trying to make my way up north.
protip: trainstations are not good places nor are they safe to sleep.

bobyclumsyninja
16th June 09, 07:38 AM
were you a dwarf in a past life? I like to think the universe balanced it's self out when it made you beanstalk tall.

Lebell
16th June 09, 09:25 AM
were you a dwarf in a past life? I like to think the universe balanced it's self out when it made you beanstalk tall.

no i used to be an orc and part of the invading force of the mines of moria.
i raped some dwarfs though.

bobyclumsyninja
16th June 09, 04:46 PM
I love that scene too

fes_fsa
18th June 09, 02:07 AM
god. i can't empathize because i can't imagine what it would be like to be homeless.

< too hot to ever need money.

Shawarma
18th June 09, 03:02 PM
Very high-class hooker, are you?

fes_fsa
18th June 09, 04:02 PM
the highest.

Dark Helmet
18th June 09, 04:14 PM
god. i can't empathize because i can't imagine what it would be like to be homeless.

< too hot to ever need money.
Did you read the article?

Because the guy featured in it probably makes more than your average southern-californian-soccer-mom income.

fes_fsa
18th June 09, 04:44 PM
i was replying to bobyclumsyninja and lebell's conversation about having been panhandlers in the past.

i already said that i don't give to homeless people because i believe in karma.

Shawarma
18th June 09, 05:18 PM
What if you being such a miserly prick soils your karma to the point where you have to spend your next incarnation as a toothless panhandler/crackwhore?

Zendetta
18th June 09, 05:20 PM
Toothless crackwhores have an advantage. Think about it.

Spade: The Real Snake
18th June 09, 05:20 PM
I give the panhandlers half-off coupons to the Red Lobster.

Not like they can fucking scrounge together the other half of a surf and turf.

fes_fsa
18th June 09, 05:20 PM
if i'm just a panhandler in my next life, then karma's pretty fucking merciful, if you ask me.

Lebell
18th June 09, 05:21 PM
i was replying to bobyclumsyninja and lebell's conversation about having been panhandlers in the past.

i already said that i don't give to homeless people because i believe in karma.

yeah i saw with my own eyes how the karma works in India.
dying people in the streets.

oh well...karma, right?

Shawarma
18th June 09, 05:22 PM
Toothless crackwhores have an advantage. Think about it.
True, and considering that liquid protein's already a major part of their diet, they won't be missing out on too much with no teeth.

Shit, that's my karma soiled, isn't it?

fes_fsa
18th June 09, 05:23 PM
yeah i saw with my own eyes how the karma works in India.
dying people in the streets.

oh well...karma, right?

in my next life, i'm probably gonna watch a group of panhandlers anally rape my mom while pouring sugar down my gas tank.

but NOT be able to get off on it.

that's how cruel karma can be.

Adouglasmhor
18th June 09, 05:42 PM
Both lubrecant and being homeless rocks.

its like you dont have to bathe and nobody can tell you what to do, except for the cops if you're sleeping at some posh place and the rich people are disturbed by your smell.
you also dont have to pay taxes or go to the doctor for shots.
awesome.

i went drifting through france in a past life trying to make my way up north.
protip: trainstations are not good places nor are they safe to sleep.

Once a German guy tried to molest me in a train station while I was sleeping there then German transport cops ran in and pointed their guns at me. (I think saying he fell probably did not help my situation).

Lebell
19th June 09, 05:30 AM
Once a German guy tried to molest me in a train station while I was sleeping there then German transport cops ran in and pointed their guns at me. (I think saying he fell probably did not help my situation).

hahaha fucking germans!

didnt you speak german?

i had problems with zhe french and the luxembourg police.
they're a bunch of cocksuckers anyway.

Adouglasmhor
22nd June 09, 01:07 AM
I pretended not to speak German on that occasion, and that I had only been in Germany 3 days and it was my 1st time out of camp. He had taken my hand when I was asleep and tried to put it in my lap. I jumped up and kicked him in the kidneys as hard as I could, just as the cops ran in. The whole station was on CCTV. So In response to 4 cops pointing handguns at me and a German lying on the floor trying to breathe, the best thing that I could think of was "he fell". I did have some German but admitting I spoke German would have been tantamount to admiting I knew it was not allowed to take the law into your own hands. I got a lecture and told somewhere safe to crash till my train came in.

Lebell
23rd June 09, 05:38 AM
I pretended not to speak German on that occasion, and that I had only been in Germany 3 days and it was my 1st time out of camp.

so...first time out of ' Lager'...so at some point in your life you were either a RAF pilot or a jew?
Just how old are you?
Did they send you to biarritz this time?

Adouglasmhor
23rd June 09, 04:01 PM
so...first time out of ' Lager'...so at some point in your life you were either a RAF pilot or a jew?
Just how old are you?
Did they send you to biarritz this time?


No I was a soldier in the British Army of the Rhine.
I was born in 1962.
This happened in the mid 80s.

Lebell
23rd June 09, 04:24 PM
zomg...did you guard albert speer?

Toby Christensen
24th June 09, 11:50 PM
I wouldn't worry about FFF Lebell. He's just bitter and deranged.

At least Lebell has ESL and pot issues.

Bitter derangement is nowhere near as charming.