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View Full Version : Pirates try to take another American ship. 15 minutes ago.



Sirc
14th April 09, 08:26 PM
http://www.cnn.com/

Front page news for right now.

Fucking pirates.

Sirc
14th April 09, 08:30 PM
I think that if we just unloaded the world's nuclear weapons on Africa, not only would we have an efffective way to disarm the nuclear caches of many countries we also get to solve this problem.

Yiktin Voxbane
14th April 09, 08:35 PM
Hey !

A Brothers gottsta be able to make a living ....

Yaarrggghhhhhhhh !

socratic
14th April 09, 09:27 PM
I seriously don't understand why so many ships that pass through heavily pirate-infested waters don't go heavily armed. What, it's a crime to defend yourself from foreign nationals trying to fucking kill you now? Seriously, we have the technology. Put 10 60 cals on each of these ships and I guarantee you Somalian/Malay bastards with small arms won't be a problem anymore.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
14th April 09, 09:35 PM
Pirates are tricky motherfuckers. You think they're sailing up in galleons to give these ships a broadside? That and we're talking a handful of pirate attacks out of the zillions and gajillions of tons of shipping that pass through these waters. Arming all of these merchant ships and training the crews for combat would be like adding a class on wrestling bears to a high school curriculum, not to mention all the bullshit they'd have to put up with for sailing boats stocked with heavy machine guns into foreign ports.

Yiktin Voxbane
14th April 09, 09:48 PM
I think the solution is to train the bears that those high-schoolers would be wrestling , to use the 60 cals Socratic mentioned .

Dark Helmet
14th April 09, 10:04 PM
Cue clip of an awful pirate movie.

Because we need a happy ending.

llI2dtLL9Kk

Robot Jesus
14th April 09, 10:08 PM
I friend of mines dad worked for the polish merchent marine.

I'm told he only went into combat once, shot two pirates and they got away with a roap.

more interestingly I'm also told that since he was not a party member he was pais in US dollars.

socratic
14th April 09, 10:23 PM
Pirates are tricky motherfuckers. You think they're sailing up in galleons to give these ships a broadside? That and we're talking a handful of pirate attacks out of the zillions and gajillions of tons of shipping that pass through these waters. Arming all of these merchant ships and training the crews for combat would be like adding a class on wrestling bears to a high school curriculum, not to mention all the bullshit they'd have to put up with for sailing boats stocked with heavy machine guns into foreign ports.

There has to be some way to deal with the problem, though. The way they're doing things now is just sitting with their thumb up their ass hoping no meanies will try and steal their cargo, which apparently is a great way to make a living since no government is smart enough to fuck with you.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
14th April 09, 10:25 PM
Too smart to fuck with you. You think Somalia is going to try and steal McDonald's shipment of happy meal toys?

Robot Jesus
14th April 09, 10:38 PM
Cue clip of an awful pirate movie.

Because we need a happy ending.

llI2dtLL9Kk

http://img2.imageshack.us/img2/2861/fuckj.jpg

socratic
14th April 09, 11:08 PM
Too smart to fuck with you. You think Somalia is going to try and steal McDonald's shipment of happy meal toys?

Pirates don't pay taxes and usually live in relatively isolated communities. It'd probably be pretty hard for any of the precious metals/valuable goods stolen by them to end up in the hands of the government.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
14th April 09, 11:18 PM
You implied that other governments where somehow going to start a force of privateers to prey on shipping. I just don't see that happening.

i guess you could say that ship has sailed http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t67/BullshidoTrail/pop.jpg

mike321
15th April 09, 12:03 AM
I seriously don't understand why so many ships that pass through heavily pirate-infested waters don't go heavily armed. What, it's a crime to defend yourself from foreign nationals trying to fucking kill you now? Seriously, we have the technology. Put 10 60 cals on each of these ships and I guarantee you Somalian/Malay bastards with small arms won't be a problem anymore.

Yes. It is a major crime in many port of calls to possess weapons. Many countries will screw you over much worse than the pirates if you have a gun. Serious hard time without a chance of paying ransom. Why does this question keep coming up?

mrm1775
15th April 09, 02:30 AM
The ship is carrying U.S. food aid for African nations, the statement said. About 20 U.S. citizens are aboard the Liberty Sun, delivering humanitarian supplies from the U.N. World Food Programme, CARE and other groups, two senior defense officials told CNN.Such delicious irony.

The only real solution to this problem is to send the Marines in to crush these guys. It worked last time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_wars). I think history needs to come full circle on this one.

Sirc
15th April 09, 07:38 AM
BRB, gonna go watch Black Hawk Down.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th April 09, 10:34 AM
I think everyone sailing into those waters needs to wear one of those awesome "Africa" medallions that were all the rage with the hip-hoppers in the 90s and blast the rap song which features the lyrics"
AFR
ICA
Zaria
Nigeria
Zimbawe

jkdbuck76
15th April 09, 11:17 AM
Such delicious irony.

The only real solution to this problem is to send the Marines in to crush these guys. It worked last time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_wars). I think history needs to come full circle on this one.

Quoted for truth.

The only way to make them understand is for them to find their stupid fucking barbaric asses sitting on the bottom of the ocean.

ICY
15th April 09, 11:20 AM
I seriously don't understand why so many ships that pass through heavily pirate-infested waters don't go heavily armed. What, it's a crime to defend yourself from foreign nationals trying to fucking kill you now? Seriously, we have the technology. Put 10 60 cals on each of these ships and I guarantee you Somalian/Malay bastards with small arms won't be a problem anymore.

The cost.

Also, the thing is, you have to shoot the pirates to stop them, and they come at you in a bunch of small craft. THEY don't need to shoot you, they just need to launch an RPG or two at your ship and you're done. And really, they just need to threaten to do that, and you, as a slower more vulnerable target, will do what they want.

OZZ
15th April 09, 09:16 PM
I should just go over and declare myself ruler of Somalia..
Anyone want to come with me?

GuiltySpark
15th April 09, 09:42 PM
I should just go over and declare myself ruler of Somalia..
Anyone want to come with me?

Bring Kracker and Lord Humungous so they can take videos then post them and gloat over how well a society without law enforcement works.

Shawarma
16th April 09, 04:19 AM
The cost.

Also, the thing is, you have to shoot the pirates to stop them, and they come at you in a bunch of small craft. THEY don't need to shoot you, they just need to launch an RPG or two at your ship and you're done. And really, they just need to threaten to do that, and you, as a slower more vulnerable target, will do what they want.
I believe this to be correct. Astounding how many people don't consider this and think the pirates are armed solely with AKs.

Think of an oil tanker being held up by a couple pirates. Sure, the hull might be able to resist an RPG or two, but do you really want to stake your life on it when you're sitting on a giant bomb?

Harpy
16th April 09, 07:03 PM
How hard is it to fly some planes over wherever these pirate boats are and bomb them?

On a side note, I dressed as a pirate last Sunday when I went out to Sydney Harbour.

Dark Helmet
16th April 09, 10:41 PM
Nevermind planes. Pretty much any of the 30 largest of the worlds navies can send small craft or PT boats to the region and keep the peace as it were. The US navy operated small river patrol boats during the Vietnam war with amazing success. Theres no need for multi-billion dollar stealth ships hunting the seas. Just a few small craft with at most 4 sailors as crew.

I'm surprised no one in the region hasn't tried it.

Harpy
16th April 09, 10:59 PM
I don't see why the Sociocide pirate crew doesn't set sail right this very moment to bomb us some Somalian pirates.

I'm sure we'd all be taken hostages though.

Shawarma
17th April 09, 04:12 AM
Firstly, sending military ships to the Somali coast constitutes a military action to keep petty criminals at bay, which sets an unfortunate precedent. Would you like the UN to send peacekeepers to Compton because Eazy-E carjacks tourists?

Secondly, the Somali coast is fucking LONG and kinda harder to patrol than Vietnamese waterways. Patrolling it could quickly turn into a pretty large operation.

Personally, I think the only way to slow down these pirates is through diplomacy, and by diplomacy I mean bribe them to police themselves. Turn the Somali coastal towns into gigantic pirate throat slitting free-for-alls, 5 pieces of eight paid at the nearest UN outpost for every pair of pirate ears. Make the pirates too busy screwing each other over to raid commercial traffic.

danno
17th April 09, 07:37 AM
whenever someone says "WE NEED TO GO OVER THERE AND BOMB THOSE NIGGERS INTO CIVILIZATION", i lose a little more faith in humanity, and i die a little more inside.

GuiltySpark
17th April 09, 09:29 AM
Firstly, sending military ships to the Somali coast constitutes a military action to keep petty criminals at bay

Petty criminals that are attacking international shipping lanes. Personally I wouldn't consider people armed with assault rifles machine guns and RPGs who commit hostile boarding actions as petty.

If anything this is an idea task for the worlds navies. Protecting it's citizens abroad.
The only precedence it sets would be if you attack our citizens we'll kill you.

Yiktin Voxbane
17th April 09, 09:30 AM
LOOK Retards .... it's MEGA-simple ....

Don't want your precious little boats to be chased by men in a runabout ...

STAY THE FUCK OUTTA SOMALIAN WATERS ..... Lest *my people* fill yer 'ginas with itchy itchy sand yet again .

OZZ
17th April 09, 03:39 PM
LOOK Retards .... it's MEGA-simple ....

Don't want your precious little boats to be chased by men in a runabout ...

STAY THE FUCK OUTTA SOMALIAN WATERS ..... Lest *my people* fill yer 'ginas with itchy itchy sand yet again .

Yiktin was a pirate long before it became fashionable (avatar pic) so I think he gets final say on the matter.

Kein Haar
17th April 09, 04:02 PM
That's right. No more food aid to that side of Africa.

Shawarma
17th April 09, 04:26 PM
Good thinking, that would make all the east Africans rush over to the west coast, causing the entire African continent to capsize!

Your law enforcement training has provided you with some very ingenious ideas for exterminating black people, I must say.

Robot Jesus
17th April 09, 04:35 PM
I say we mobilizable the Canadian Rangers.

Ajamil
18th April 09, 01:55 PM
Good thinking, that would make all the east Africans rush over to the west coast, causing the entire African continent to capsize!

If they all ran North, and then jump-stopped just on the edge of the Mediterranean Sea, it would push Africa up against Europe, and they could try for acceptance into the EU!