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Robot Jesus
27th March 09, 07:48 PM
ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust
TV pitchman battered hooker in South Beach hotel room brawl

MARCH 27--Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (6 pages)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html


VINCE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Doritosaurus Chex
27th March 09, 07:56 PM
http://i.cdn.turner.com/trutv/thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0327092sham1awm.jpg

He should've picked up a German prostitute. You know the Germans make good stuff.

Zendetta
27th March 09, 08:03 PM
So... did the Shamwow mop up the blood or what?

Aaranar
27th March 09, 08:05 PM
Apparently she didn't love his nuts.

jubei33
27th March 09, 08:22 PM
He must've used the slap chop on her, a good technique when down and dirty with some skanky ho. she was a clever one though, tongue biting blocks the sheer force of a falcon punch, the standard finisher for situations such as these.

though, on second thought the 'facial fractures' seem to be less along the lines of fractures and more towards dirty smirks.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/trutv/thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0327092sham2.jpg

Doritosaurus Chex
27th March 09, 08:29 PM
Stop having a boring hooker, stop having a boring life. You following me, camera guy?

Equipoise
27th March 09, 08:32 PM
Felony battery? That's an odd charge for this as if she got charged with felony battery as well which she would/should then it's more of a mutual affray. The Miami Beach Police do thing weird anyway.

I'm positive this'll get plead down to something like breach of the peace.

Tomorrow I'll see if I can get the dirt from one of the responding officers.

Edit: After seeing those pictures of the victim, this is bullshit for felony battery. How'd their Sgt sign off on that A-form? The state attorney's office is going to throw that out...should make for a fun pre-file.

HappyOldGuy
27th March 09, 08:35 PM
According to the article, those pics were mugshots from a prior bust. Not the night of. Or have you seen other ones?

Equipoise
27th March 09, 08:40 PM
Na, I'll pull them up tomorrow and report back. I could do it now, but I'm too lazy to go back out to my car. They should be public record anyway as most custodial records are here.

jubei33
27th March 09, 08:52 PM
sweet! we get the inside gossip. Ask which one got the herpes, my money is on the hooker.

Neildo
27th March 09, 09:14 PM
she's pretty cute for a whore. i'd hit it.

no, not like that!

Doritosaurus Chex
28th March 09, 08:36 AM
The real question is, would you pay $1,000.00 for a piece of that?

Cullion
28th March 09, 08:36 AM
she's pretty cute for a whore. i'd hit it.

no, not like that!

She was a $1000 whore. They're usually hot enough to work as glamour models and often do.

MrBadGuy
28th March 09, 09:12 AM
If you buy now, you get the midget whore ABSOLUTELY FREE. Use it in the car, the bathroom, as a shower mat, in the kitchen....

partyboy
28th March 09, 09:57 AM
...NOM NOM NOM?

MrBadGuy
28th March 09, 10:01 AM
Because of the slap-chop, I'd imagine.


Or the hooker was tasty lookin'.

Doritosaurus Chex
28th March 09, 10:04 AM
She did NOM his tongue. I guess.

Ka-Bar
28th March 09, 10:10 AM
Sheesh. At least Billy Mays pays his hookers extra when he punches them.

Steve
28th March 09, 04:18 PM
...NOM NOM NOM?

Yeah, as mentioned, the slap chop. Also, the shamwow is basically just a glorified kitchen towel..

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
28th March 09, 04:33 PM
she's pretty cute for a whore. i'd hit it.

Pug nose and not so well defined features. Not saying she's ugly, just sort of boring.

Equipoise
28th March 09, 07:35 PM
Pug nose and not so well defined features. Not saying she's ugly, just sort of boring.

Considering you're still a virgin, beggars can't be choosers.


Edit: Also, kinda germane

http://www.adultswim.com/games/game/index.html?game=zombiehookernightmare

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
28th March 09, 10:45 PM
Aren't you a cop? What are you doing in middle school?

WarPhalange
28th March 09, 11:54 PM
Trying to get a date.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
28th March 09, 11:55 PM
man i hear ya

Ka-Bar
31st March 09, 01:39 AM
Jesus, Vince. You make Chris Brown look like a girl scout.

http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/3/31/0/more-sasha-harris-photos-from-her-beating-by-the-19473-1238474678-3.jpg

http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2009/3/30/10/shamwow-guys-victim-8034-1238421767-2.jpg

nihilist
31st March 09, 01:46 AM
Slamwow!

HappyOldGuy
31st March 09, 12:14 PM
Bruises aside, she hasn't aged well since her mugshot. I'd a been pissed enough to slap a bitch if I paid for pic a and got pic b.

Ka-Bar
31st March 09, 09:11 PM
Bruises aside, she hasn't aged well since her mugshot. I'd a been pissed enough to slap a bitch if I paid for pic a and got pic b.

Meth is a helluva drug.

Equipoise
1st April 09, 07:27 PM
Man, he fucked her up.

Sun Wukong
1st April 09, 07:57 PM
This whole thing is so classically pathetic and white trash I don't know where to start with the hilarity of it all.

He did indeed fuck up her face pretty good.

What I want to know, is what the fuck happened for her to want to bite his tongue off?

Sun Wukong
1st April 09, 07:57 PM
BTW, it's SOOO only a matter of time before this chick is doing the internet porn circuit. I foresee it.

Sun Wukong
1st April 09, 08:10 PM
BTW, I'd hit that too. (get it? huh? huh? get it?) meh, she's a hooker. I only feel sorry for them when they enjoy what they do.

Ka-Bar
1st April 09, 09:49 PM
What I want to know, is what the fuck happened for her to want to bite his tongue off?

He probably kept yelling, "Hey, Camera Guy, you getting this?"

Toby Christensen
26th April 09, 03:19 AM
Some silly bitch bit me once when we were making out. I poked her in the eye.

Sans evidence, you little tart :D

nihilist
26th April 09, 03:24 AM
You're not supposed to put it in her eye.

Toby Christensen
26th April 09, 03:25 AM
I mean she BIT my flesh, so I poked her in the eye with my FINGER.

"Everybody loves a literalist"

Steve
26th April 09, 03:26 AM
Unless she asks for it...

nihilist
26th April 09, 03:29 AM
You're supposed to get permission before ramming your "flesh" into her mouth.

Cullion
26th April 09, 04:18 AM
I only feel sorry for them when they enjoy what they do.

There are layers of confusing and wrong in this statement.

Toby Christensen
26th April 09, 04:23 AM
Wukong feels SORRY for them when they enjoy it...

Being unable to orgasm myself, I leave the hookers exhausted as a professional courtesy. And a sport.

nihilist
26th April 09, 01:53 PM
That goes against the hooker's most basic tenet:

"the customer always comes first"