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kick
12th February 09, 10:23 PM
BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant.








The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby.

“I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10.”

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00732/SNN1305AA-380_732314a.jpg Little family ... Alfie, Chantelle and baby Maisie

Lee Thompson


Alfie, who is just 4ft tall, added: “When my mum found out, I thought I was going to get in trouble. We wanted to have the baby but were worried how people would react.

“I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.”

Alfie’s dad Dennis told how the lad does not really understand the enormity of his situation — but seemed desperate to be a devoted and responsible father.
Secret

He wanted to be the first to hold Maisie after the hospital birth. He tenderly kisses the baby and gives her a bottle.

And Dennis, 45, said: “He could have shrugged his shoulders and sat at home on his Playstation. But he has been at the hospital every day.”

Maisie was conceived after Chantelle and Alfie — just 12 at the time — had a single night of unprotected sex.

They found out about the baby when Chantelle was 12 weeks pregnant.

But they kept it a secret until six weeks later when Chantelle’s mum Penny, 38, became suspicious about her weight gain and confronted her.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00732/SNN1304A-682_732346a.jpg Devoted ... Alfie holds and cuddles Maisie

Lee Thompson


After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.

Chantelle gave birth to Maisie on Monday night after a five-hour labour at Eastbourne Hospital, East Sussex.

Last night she told The Sun: “I’m tired after the birth. I was nervous after going into labour but otherwise I was quite excited.”


Chantelle told how she discovered she was expecting after going to her GP with “really bad” stomach pains. She said: “Me and Alfie went. The doctor asked me whether we had sex. I said yes and he said I should do a pregnancy test. He did the test and said I was pregnant. I started crying and didn’t know what to do.

“He said I should tell my mum but I was too scared.

“We didn’t think we would need help from our parents. You don’t really think about that when you find out you are pregnant. You just think your parents will kill you.”

But Penny figured out what was going on after buying Chantelle a T-shirt which revealed her swelling tum.

Chantelle admitted she and Alfie — who are both being supported by their parents — would be accused of being grossly irresponsible. She said: “We know we made a mistake but I wouldn’t change it now. We will be good loving parents.

“I have started a church course and I am going to do work experience helping other young mums.

“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00732/SNN1304B-380_732153a.jpg Caring ... Alfie bottle feeds his little daughter

Lee Thompson


Chantelle and Maisie were released from hospital yesterday. They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola, 43, spends most of his time at the Steadmans’ house.

He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Alfie’s dad, who is separated from Nicola, believes the lad is scared deep down.

He said: “Everyone is telling him things and it’s going round in his head. It hasn’t really dawned on him. He hasn’t got a clue of what the baby means and can’t explain how he feels. All he knows is mum and dad will help.

“When you mention money his eyes look away. And she is reliant on her mum and dad. It’s crazy. They have no idea what lies ahead.”

Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm, described Alfie as “a typical 13-year-old boy”.

He said: “He loves computer games, boxing and Manchester United.” Dennis, who has fathered nine kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.

He said: “When I spoke to him he started crying. He said it was the first time he’d had sex, that he didn’t know what he was doing and of the complications that could come.

“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it’s too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby.”
Lovely

Chantelle’s mum said: “I told her it was lovely to have the baby but I wish it was in different circumstances. We have five children already so it’s a big financial responsibility. But we are a family and will pull together and get through.

“She’s my daughter. I love her and she will want for nothing.”

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”

Britain’s youngest known father is Sean Stewart. He became a dad at 12 when the girl next door, 15-year-old Emma Webster, gave birth in Sharnbrook, Bedford, in 1998. They split six months later.


[email protected] (%[email protected])

Steve
12th February 09, 10:27 PM
Fucking kids these days...

yes, pun intended.

CoffeeFan
12th February 09, 10:30 PM
Well, looks like the grand parents get to raise another child.

I suppose it would be sort of interesting to have a kid who was relatively the same age as you. When the dad is 30 the kid will just about turn 18

Virus
12th February 09, 10:31 PM
Phrost's idea of compulsory abortions looks more sensible by the day.

Dark Helmet
12th February 09, 10:34 PM
Well, looks like the grand parents get to raise another child.

I suppose it would be sort of interesting to have a kid who was relatively the same age as you. When the dad is 30 the kid will just about turn 18
The mother and daughter will be able to go clubbing together and hunt for guys.

Hedley LaMarr
12th February 09, 10:46 PM
He is allowed to stay overnight and even has a school uniform there so he can go straight to his classes in the morning.

Wouldn't the grandparents be worried these two would knock boots again and spawn more?

WarPhalange
12th February 09, 10:49 PM
So he looks like an 8-year-old and she looks like she has cancer. A winning combination.

JingMerchant!
12th February 09, 11:06 PM
Phrost's idea of compulsory abortions looks more sensible by the day.Hear-fucking-hear...


Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world. Yes... Because, letting two idiot brats, spawn another water-melon headed, drain on the social services is pricisely the better of the two options here....


“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.” Absolutly, their continued ignorance of sexual matters is exactly what is needed to keep these young parents on the straight and narrow...

I mean, think of the HORROR that would have occured if they had had sex education in the first place.

What. the. fuck. is. WRONG with these FUCKING idiots?!?!?!?

All of them!!! The Morons/Christian groups who think that kids spawning kids is better than abortion???

Why are we so fucked up as a race???

Tanhalen21
12th February 09, 11:09 PM
Fuck Australia.

Harpy
12th February 09, 11:16 PM
Am I the only one who looks at poor Alfie's eyes and feel my heart break? That child didn't exactly have the best role models. He should be kissing a new brother or sister, not his own child.

I'm going to go ahead and blame the girl here.

Steve
12th February 09, 11:17 PM
Fuck Australia.

What the fuck you got against Australia? This happened in Britain.

Robot Jesus
12th February 09, 11:19 PM
Fuck australia

Aphid Jones
12th February 09, 11:33 PM
I third the "fuck Australia". Where do you think Britain got all of its delinquent behavior as of late?

JingMerchant!
12th February 09, 11:58 PM
Am I the only one who looks at poor Alfie's eyes and feel my heart break? That child didn't exactly have the best role models. He should be kissing a new brother or sister, not his own child. Hells to the yes!


I'm going to go ahead and blame the girl here....I know I'm going to love hearing why you choose to blame her over the parents...?

WarPhalange
13th February 09, 12:11 AM
Cuz she's fucking ugly.

JingMerchant!
13th February 09, 12:33 AM
Ah, she raeped him....

Steve
13th February 09, 12:48 AM
Ah, she raeped him....

At 13, what boy wouldn't want to get it on? I find it interesting that there isn't a big deal being made about the 15 year old girl that wanted to have sex and then keep the baby from a relationship with a kid 2 years younger than her.

She's obviously got more issues than he does, IMO.

Harpy
13th February 09, 12:51 AM
I agree with Steve on all counts, especially the WTF you got against Australia bit.

Jing :)

Cullion
13th February 09, 02:54 AM
Yes... Because, letting two idiot brats, spawn another water-melon headed, drain on the social services is pricisely the better of the two options here....

Is the choice really 'kill it' or 'put it on welfare'?

There's adoption too.

Cullion
13th February 09, 03:00 AM
She's obviously learned that the British welfare system substantially rewards single motherhood, IMO.

fixed.

Sun Wukong
13th February 09, 03:04 AM
This reminds me of the wise words of Jack Handy:

I think the world should be safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think that children should be having sex.

Steve
13th February 09, 03:08 AM
She's obviously learned that the British welfare system substantially rewards single motherhood, IMO.

fixed.

Don't negate her love like that.

It's just cruel and bound to make her even more of a head case.

jubei33
13th February 09, 03:24 AM
In light of this sudden tsunami of disappointment, I also would like to quote jack handy:


My father always said laughter was the best medicine. Half of my brothers and sisters died of tuberculosis.


The crows seemed to be calling him, thought caw.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 05:11 AM
Is the choice really 'kill it' or 'put it on welfare'?

There's adoption too.

So basically, three options for that baby? Fucked, fucked and fucked. (Adoption is a lottery with crap odds; children's homes are fucking horrendous.)

They really need to start treating underage sex as a crime and arrest that girl now - 13 year old boys are children, 15 year old girls are nigh-on adults. Either way, they shouldn't be fucking. It turns my stomach. Jailtime needed, then a permanent fixture on the Sex Offender's Register.

I'm going to say fuck again. This is a fucking disgrace.




PS: I once knew a girl who at 14 was made pregnant by a 17 year old. She miscarried, pulled through and blazed her way into University and an upper class job. (A bit of an arsehole though, like most denizens in that shit school where I did my A Levels.) You do have to wonder why the police weren't called, though.

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:21 AM
So basically, three options for that baby? Fucked, fucked and fucked. (Adoption is a lottery with crap odds; children's homes are fucking horrendous.)

Adoption doesn't have to mean sticking the child in a state care home forever. There are lots of couples who'd like to adopt but aren't allowed to for bizarre politically correct reasons. We could try fixing that.



PS: I once knew a girl who at 14 was made pregnant by a 17 year old. She miscarried, pulled through and blazed her way into University and an upper class job. (A bit of an arsehole though, like most denizens in that shit school where I did my A Levels.) You do have to wonder why the police weren't called, though.


Because the police don't treat a 3 year age gap as 'paedophilia' even when one party is under the age of consent. To be honest I agree with them. When there's no paedophilia, then 'age of consent' charges are only placed when one of the parents makes a formal complaint. And what parent is going to have their child arrested over this?

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 05:29 AM
Adoption doesn't have to mean sticking the child in a state care home forever. There are lots of couples who'd like to adopt but aren't allowed to for bizarre politically correct reasons. We could try fixing that.

Hence 'lottery with crap odds'.


Because the police don't treat a 3 year age gap as 'paedophilia' even when one party is under the age of consent. To be honest I agree with them. When there's no paedophilia, then 'age of consent' charges are only placed when one of the parents makes a formal complaint. And what parent is going to have their child arrested over this?

Maybe they shouldn't raise their little shits to have underage sex?

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:34 AM
Well, they shouldn't.

We know we have severe problems in the UK. Fixing them is going to be painful. It's going to require some harsh decisions to be taken.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 05:38 AM
Well, they shouldn't.

We know we have severe problems in the UK. Fixing them is going to be painful. It's going to require some harsh decisions to be taken.

Indeed. How harsh depends on how fucked up it gets beforehand though. It's not looking good.

Sun Wukong
13th February 09, 06:08 AM
I really don't think a 15 year old girl belongs on a sex offenders register unless she raped a baby with a soldering iron.

Kids do fucked up things sometimes, they should get a pass on most things.

She could have just as easily gotten pregnant through an act of prostitution, which would have been far worse and simultaneously been a victim. Bad consequences are sometimes natural to natural acts.

KO'd N DOA
13th February 09, 07:28 AM
After that Alfie’s family told only those closest to them for fear he would be “demonised” at school.


You don't get demonised for winning Truth or Dare....





They are living with Penny, Chantelle’s jobless dad Steve, 43, and her five brothers in a rented council house in Eastbourne. The family live on benefits. Alfie, who lives on an estate across town with mum Nicola.


Isn't sleeping with the help considered bad form?




Dennis, who works for a vehicle recovery firm... Dennis, who has fathered nine (9) kids, told how he was “gobsmacked” when he discovered Alfie was to be a dad, too.


“I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk"


Father of the year. Obviously Nicola was rutting with the help with Dennis. There is so much more to this story.

sochin101
13th February 09, 07:42 AM
:facepalm:

A real moving piece by the Sun, there.

I'd like to see the Daily Mail's take on this. Especially if they can be convinced that somehow, somewhere an immigrant was involved. With New Labour's blessing.


Seriously, I'm betting there will be someone, somewhere that won't want anyone to do a paternity test on the baby...

Spade: The Real Snake
13th February 09, 11:07 AM
I blame Sochin's Chav offspring for this one.

JingMerchant!
13th February 09, 11:09 AM
Jing :)Yeah, I know you love me… I’ll get back in the Dungeon now…

Is the choice really 'kill it' or 'put it on welfare'?Awfully emotive word you’re using to describe abortion there…

Seriously, I'm betting there will be someone, somewhere that won't want anyone to do a paternity test on the baby...I think you’ve just won this thread mate!

Phrost
13th February 09, 11:37 AM
Phrost's idea of compulsory abortions looks more sensible by the day.

That was actually compulsory birth control for those on public assistance. At one point I also supported post-term abortions (execution) but I no longer believe the government is competent enough to ensure innocent citizens don't get executed.

I can't see any logical, rational reason why people who cannot afford to manage their own lives, should be allowed to bring more lives into the world for which everyone else in society has to carry the burden.

It's pretty simple to not get pregnant; you simply don't allow a dick in your vagina until you can afford to deal with the consequences for what the act naturally entails.

WarPhalange
13th February 09, 11:43 AM
At 13, what boy wouldn't want to get it on?

I didn't hit puberty until I was 17.

mrblackmagic
13th February 09, 12:24 PM
At least, he's got proof that he isn't a virgin.

jkdbuck76
13th February 09, 12:24 PM
It's pretty simple to not get pregnant; you simply don't allow a dick in your vagina until you can afford to deal with the consequences for what the act naturally entails.

I'm writing this one down, Phrost. My boy is now almost 2. I'm gonna' save this for 11 years.

This is nothing new. Back when we were young, one of the guys on the wrestling team was 12 and he knocked up an older girl in the town north of us. Twelve. F--ing. Years. Old. I'm not lying. This guy had trouble. No dad. His mother was killed when he was about 10 years old. Sad. Then he dunks the noodle at 12 years old and knocks her up. Whatever. I've enjoyed paying for HIS kid over the years.

Dagon Akujin
13th February 09, 01:06 PM
I can't see any logical, rational reason why people who cannot afford to manage their own lives, should be allowed to bring more lives into the world for which everyone else in society has to carry the burden.










^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3011/3127703319_9b9e1d8521.jpg

Feryk
13th February 09, 01:16 PM
Based on TS's comments, I have to wonder how fucked up the adoption process is in England?

Also, it looks like Alfie is an uppercrust kid, and his girlfriend is trailer trash? Is this a big deal in England, 'cause it happens here all the time.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th February 09, 01:48 PM
“I’ll be a great mum and Alfie will be a great dad.”

Yes.

We see how responsibly you have handled your own young lives and I have no doubt you shall continue this trend with the next generation.

Virus
13th February 09, 02:16 PM
That was actually compulsory birth control for those on public assistance. At one point I also supported post-term abortions (execution) but I no longer believe the government is competent enough to ensure innocent citizens don't get executed.

I can't see any logical, rational reason why people who cannot afford to manage their own lives, should be allowed to bring more lives into the world for which everyone else in society has to carry the burden.

It's pretty simple to not get pregnant; you simply don't allow a dick in your vagina until you can afford to deal with the consequences for what the act naturally entails.

My apologies for the misrepresentation. I also hold to the view that if you can't afford them, don't have them. In Australia the state throws buckets of money at almost anyone who breeds.

That article is so depressing. He's got a kid and he's talking about pocket money.

Cullion
13th February 09, 02:23 PM
Based on TS's comments, I have to wonder how fucked up the adoption process is in England?

Phrost and some of the others here post News articles and have an eye on what's happening here, but only reason why I haven't started the big, general, 'What the fuck is happening to the UK??' thread, is that the first post would be long and I want to write it carefully, with sources, well constructed points and plenty of historical points.

I've tried to explain snippets of it to DAYoung when he e-mails me from time to time after being shocked by something he's read happening in UK politics.

Spade: The Real Snake
13th February 09, 02:49 PM
My apologies for the misrepresentation. I also hold to the view that if you can't afford them, don't have them.
And even when you "can" afford them, or think you can, you can't.


That article is so depressing. He's got a kid and he's talking about pocket money.

This:


I didn’t know what it would be like to be a dad. I will be good, though, and care for it.

came from the same mouth as this:


I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10

Domite
13th February 09, 04:46 PM
How old is the girl?

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:03 PM
She's 15

Spade: The Real Snake
13th February 09, 05:15 PM
Only enough to knick a pack of rubbers from the corner shoppe

Feryk
13th February 09, 05:22 PM
Are you kidding? She's hit the lottery! Her dad must be proud.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 05:27 PM
Phrost and some of the others here post News articles and have an eye on what's happening here, but only reason why I haven't started the big, general, 'What the fuck is happening to the UK??' thread, is that the first post would be long and I want to write it carefully, with sources, well constructed points and plenty of historical points.

It would be epic, it would be vast, it would be tl;dr, but mostly it'll be you and I screaming, sobbing and drooling over the keyboard as we bang out ever more irate, unhinged exposes of our pisspoor, doomed nation.

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:38 PM
I thought I'd try and liven it up with some pictures and youtubes. And make good use of paragraphs.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 05:41 PM
I thought I'd try and liven it up with some pictures and youtubes. And make good use of paragraphs.

God, you're so petty bourgeois.

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:48 PM
Yes.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 05:49 PM
chick looks thirty
maybe they could be averaged together into a normal looking hermaphrodite

Cullion
13th February 09, 05:58 PM
Both kids, and the parents, look like they've been living on a very, very poor diet.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 06:32 PM
Yes.

I prefer Bastard Feudalism.


Both kids, and the parents, look like they've been living on a very, very poor diet.

It's this self-imposed deprivation that's the most shocking thing - we no longer starve to death (quite the opposite) but a lot of kids are growing up neurologically and physically malnourished. I often wonder if it contributes to chav culture: all those people with underfed brains and poor immune systems. Certainly, studies have shown that raising the intake of Omega 3 improves a lot of problem children's behaviour.

Cullion
13th February 09, 06:59 PM
I'm pretty sure it does. I've read similar studies (some on prison populations), and I remember hearing the anecdotes from Jamie Oliver's campaign for real food in schools (school nurses were reporting dramatic decreases in asthma attacks too).

It doesn't even have anything to do with healthy food costing more. Junk convencience food is an expensive way to eat. I can get 800 calories of wholemeal bread for the price of 200 calories of salt & vinegar crisps.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 07:08 PM
You can eat chips as is. Bread? Shit, you gotta add like meat and some lettuce and shit to it first.

Cullion
13th February 09, 07:40 PM
You can eat chips as is. Bread? Shit, you gotta add like meat and some lettuce and shit to it first.

You can actually eat bread without those things you know. Or you can make soup to dip it in for a few pence more.

JingMerchant!
13th February 09, 08:24 PM
I don't know how true this is, but there was a throw away line on the six o'clock news tonight that the 'fathers' voice hadn't broken yet.

My biology isn't up to scratch, what does that say about his plumbing...?

Cullion
13th February 09, 08:35 PM
Have you been thinking about that little boy's penis since 6pm yesterday evening?

creepy.

Truculent Sheep
13th February 09, 09:08 PM
I wonder if they'll do a blood test to prove who the father really is? Paranoid bastard that I am, I smell a Shannon Matthews-style stitch up.

JingMerchant!
13th February 09, 11:10 PM
Have you been thinking about that little boy's penis since 6pm yesterday evening?

creepy.Actually, I was wondering whether or not his whole reproductive system had developed yet, because:-

I wonder if they'll do a blood test to prove who the father really is? Paranoid bastard that I am, I smell a Shannon Matthews-style stitch up....I was thinking along similar lines to this.

Interesting you should leap straight to the penis though...

Tell me about your mother...

Cullion
13th February 09, 11:12 PM
She doesn't have a penis, of that I'm sure.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 11:21 PM
Did you check?

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 11:22 PM
p.s. if you really want to eat bread cheaply you could always mix some vinegar and oil up and pretend you have more money.

Steve
13th February 09, 11:29 PM
If you ate bread that wasn't labeled with the word "wonder" on the package, you might understand what Cullion is talking about.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 11:37 PM
What is it with you assholes not even reading my posts?

Cullion
13th February 09, 11:43 PM
You've been getting gradually less funny the more weed you smoke and the longer you spend past the age of 18 hanging out at your mother's house.

Get out and live a little.

Harpy
13th February 09, 11:46 PM
A new story has broken that Alfie's older sister who is now 19 years old, was a mother at 13. That kid had no chance and I think welfare needs to come and remove him and any younger siblings out of that home.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
13th February 09, 11:48 PM
And where did the impression come from that I don't get out? I'm out of the house every single day.

JingMerchant!
13th February 09, 11:52 PM
A new story has broken that Alfie's older sister who is now 19 years old, was a mother at 13.

Well... I wish I was more shocked... This story is just keeps on giving and filling me with bile and misanthropic rage.

Honestly, when it comes to breeding, when did quantity become more important than quality...?

Steve
13th February 09, 11:56 PM
It's always been that way.

Cullion
13th February 09, 11:59 PM
Honestly, when it comes to breeding, when did quantity become more important than quality...?

When we started practicing dysgenics by sponsoring the least intelligent and self-reliant members of the populace to breed, and increasing their financial incentive in step with the number of children they produced.

The mathematics is pretty simple.

Steve
14th February 09, 12:03 AM
And Genesis 1:28, of course.

JingMerchant!
14th February 09, 12:10 AM
When we started practicing dysgenics by sponsoring the least intelligent and self-reliant members of the populace to breed, and increasing their financial incentive in step with the number of children they produced.
If I infer from this correctly, this is to gain an increased workforce and a generally, more easily controllable populace yes?
And Genesis 1:28, of course.Oh but of course... We all but sheep after all....

I think my descent into misanthropy is complete now... The Dark side called and I answered.

thatrugbyguy
14th February 09, 01:44 AM
If I infer from this correctly, this is to gain an increased workforce and a generally, more easily controllable populace yes?.

Your inference is inaccurate in one key area. This particular part of the populace is not renowned for the whole working part of being in the workforce.

Cullion
14th February 09, 06:53 AM
If I infer from this correctly, this is to gain an increased workforce and a generally, more easily controllable populace yes?Oh but of course... We all but sheep after all....

No, I think it was just a stupid mistake bought on by the cheap appeal of bleeding-heart views that haven't been thought through. If there was any deliberate plan to do this it would've had to have been simply to destroy our society. The mongs we're breeding might just about serve as agricultural manual labour if kept under the whip, but they're all but unemployable in the modern era.

JingMerchant!
14th February 09, 07:43 PM
Your inference is inaccurate in one key area. This particular part of the populace is not renowned for the whole working part of being in the workforce. *Facepalm* Duh, yeah, that'll teach me to try and make sensible posts at five in the morning.

Robot Jesus
15th February 09, 12:19 AM
all this could have been avoided if there was a cash prize for getting a visectomy.

Virus
15th February 09, 12:38 AM
It's vasectomy.

SFGOON
15th February 09, 01:15 AM
Cash prize? Fuck - they'd do it for a lottery ticket.

Personally though, I say why spend the money. Just put some teratogens in the water supply. M'bleh!!!! Bleh heh heh heh haaaaaaww.....

Hedley LaMarr
15th February 09, 08:14 AM
Apparently there is another boy claiming to be the father.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/02/15/boy.baby.dad.england/index.html


(CNN) -- A second teenager has reportedly claimed to be the father of a child born to a teenaged girl in a case which has caused an outcry in Britain.


British Conservative party leader David Cameron has expressed his dismay over the case.

According to reports earlier this week Alfie Patten was only 12 when the baby was conceived with his girlfriend, Chantelle Steadman, 15.

The Sun tabloid newspaper reported their daughter, Maisie Roxanne, was born on Monday.

It carried photos and interviews with the pair and their child on Friday and Saturday.

Alfie told the newspaper that he thought "it would be good to have a baby."

While Chantelle said they wanted to "prove to everyone" that they could give Maisie a "great future" and that they both planned to stay in school.

However, on Sunday the Sun's sister paper, the News of the World, reported that Richard Goodsell, aged 16, was claiming he was Maisie's father.

"I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that baby has my eyes -- even my mum thinks so.

"Only a DNA test is going to sort this out properly. If I am the father, I have the right to know," he told the News of the World.

The situation has provoked a wide response, with Conservative party leader David Cameron telling the British Press Association that parenthood should not be something the teenagers should even have been contemplating.

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown said "all of us would want to avoid teenage pregnancies," PA reported.

Tony Kerridge, of the sexual health specialist Marie Stopes International, told PA that children needed better education.

The response from CNN readers ranged from outrage to questions about whether the situation was actually rare.

Allyson said exactly the same thing had happened in her home town.

"Well, this is not news to my area. We had this same thing happen five years ago. Same aged boy and girl. They had a little girl. The dad graduated from high school the year before his daughter started kindergarten! He has full custody as the mom has moved out of town and had another child. I am glad the family has supported this child even though the 'parents' didn't make a good decision in having a child so young."

Martha said she found the situation "very sad."

"I did not become a mom until I was 24 and it was still a struggle. I think these children's parents should be held accountable. Where were they? These kids have no idea what their lives will be like, finish school! Only if they are very lucky with a good support system."

Becky was dismayed.

"This just shocks me and makes me sick... they are still kids! Only 13 and 15 year old! So where are their parents?"

My money's on the 16 year old as the father. Honestly, the 13 year old looks like he's too young to even have the ability to procreate.

KO'd N DOA
15th February 09, 11:26 AM
It's vasectomy.

Vasectomy is surgery on the vas deferens,

Vicesectomy is using a vice.

Some cases call for extreme measures.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th February 09, 11:31 AM
If that story about the 16 y/o being the father is correct, that is the best thing that could happen for that little 13 y/o clueless SOB.

kanegs
15th February 09, 01:20 PM
Now there's another (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1145845/I-DNA-test-says-Alfie-teenagers-claim-father.html): (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1145845/I-DNA-test-says-Alfie-teenagers-claim-father.html%29:)

Alfie Patten has reportedly demanded a DNA test to prove he really is a father at age 13 after two other teenagers are said to have claimed they had slept with his girlfriend.The schoolboy was described as another symbol of ‘broken Britain' after it emerged that he and Chantelle Steadman, 15, had parented baby Masie, born five days ago.

But today the scandal took another twist after it was claimed Richard Goodsell, 16, and Tyler Barker, 14, may have fathered the child.

Cullion
15th February 09, 01:39 PM
I really do feel sorry for that poor little bastard. 9 months ago he probably thought his life was awesome, having a chick to bang at the age of 12 & whatnot. Now he's on newspaper covers as a symbol of his parents being made of utter fail, his absentee father's shown up in his life once more for no other reason than to try and get money out of the tabloids and now he finds that other kids were banging his 'girlfriend' at the same time.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th February 09, 01:39 PM
What a shock.....15 y/o Chantelle is a ho.

Aphid Jones
15th February 09, 02:01 PM
What a shock.....15 y/o Chantelle is a ho.
And apparently no teenagers in Britain know what "protection" is.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th February 09, 02:23 PM
And apparently no teenagers in Britain know what "protection" is.

she kept one foot on the ground so it was supposed to be safe.

Aphid Jones
15th February 09, 02:25 PM
she kept one foot on the ground so it was supposed to be safe. If you drink a diet coke then do a somersault, it prevents pregnancy.

No, really.

I've been told this and it seemed legit

Zendetta
15th February 09, 03:04 PM
^^^ That's almost true, you just have to pour the diet coke down her snatch.

And then do somersaults for the next nine months or so.

Harpy
15th February 09, 03:09 PM
I hope the DNA test proves Alfie is not the father. This debacle alone should set him on the straight and narrow, one hopes.

Cullion
15th February 09, 03:14 PM
And apparently no teenagers in Britain know what "protection" is.

There are significant financial incentives for them to get pregnant on purpose.

Spade: The Real Snake
15th February 09, 03:23 PM
I hope the DNA points to Alfie's father being the father.


and if you cross your eyes and think of Christmas, you can avoid getting the preggers.

Aphid Jones
15th February 09, 03:57 PM
and if you cross your eyes and think of Christmas, you can avoid getting the preggers.
No, man. You have to crack an egg yolk onto your navel while humming the theme to Thundercats.

Stop spreading misinformation.

Truculent Sheep
15th February 09, 03:58 PM
There are significant financial incentives for them to get pregnant on purpose.

And thus, life is cheapened.

JingMerchant!
15th February 09, 08:13 PM
There are significant financial incentives for them to get pregnant on purpose.I believe the Netherlands has zero financial packages for people in this position. "Coincidentally", it has the lowest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe...

Cullion
15th February 09, 08:27 PM
I thought it was because they love the anal.

JingMerchant!
15th February 09, 08:49 PM
There no sodomy laws, so anythings possible...

It certainly explains why our favourite Dutchman lives there!

kanegs
15th February 09, 09:26 PM
There has to be a way to make public assistance unwanted. e.g. You don't get money to buy clothes, instead you get clothes to wear but they're as unfashionable as possible.

If you spend your child's food allowance buying yourself a Playstation you're declared an unfit parent and your child goes up for adoption.

Cullion
15th February 09, 09:32 PM
There has to be a way to make public assistance unwanted. e.g. You don't get money to buy clothes, instead you get clothes to wear but they're as unfashionable as possible.

I thought that was the point of food stamps in the US?

I think we have some kind of voucher scheme that are given to recent asylum seekers for simillar purpose.

sochin101
16th February 09, 11:07 AM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2240802.ece

THE girlfriend of Alfie Patten yesterday rubbished claims the 13-year-old did not father her baby, insisting: “There has been no one else.”

Tearful schoolgirl Chantelle Steadman hit out as TWO other youngsters bragged THEY could be the dads of newborn Maisie.


Various reports put the number of boys in the frame as many as 8.
LOL.
A 15 year old British girl with only 9 partners? What is she, a nun?

EuropIan
16th February 09, 12:43 PM
I bet there is some trolling as well

Robot Jesus
16th February 09, 12:59 PM
There are significant financial incentives for them to get pregnant on purpose.
the only result of baby bonuses is reverse eugenics

Cullion
16th February 09, 02:07 PM
Yeah. I call it dysgenics to distinguish it from non-intervention.

Feryk
16th February 09, 02:10 PM
Sounds like the press is going to peel this girls' past open. This will not end well for anyone.

Cullion
16th February 09, 02:12 PM
It's only gone this far because the parents are trying to make money out of it.

Feryk
16th February 09, 02:13 PM
??? how?

Cullion
16th February 09, 02:21 PM
By selling 'exclusive interview rights' auction-style to the tabloids. It happens all the time in the UK. If they wanted to, they could've had a british court ban them from coverage in the interests of child protection by now. But they don't. They want a good haul out of this.

Alfie's absentee father immediately engaged the services of UK celebrity publicist Max Clifford. This is him outside the family home, and the publicist is the Max refered to on the placard.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/02/16/article-1146072-0386BA63000005DC-222_468x573.jpg

No, the mask isn't a photoshop.

More here:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1146072/Whos-Daddy-13-year-old-Alfie-DNA-test-prove-babys-father.html

That's the kind of person who these children are raised by.

KO'd N DOA
16th February 09, 02:23 PM
That's a mask? I thought you had a camera that captured a persons soul...

Feryk
16th February 09, 02:40 PM
This is the UK of the Jerry Springer show...I didn't watch that either.

Cullion
16th February 09, 02:48 PM
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. When we talk about 'chavs' we're not just talking about violent young people, but the broader social class of people they spring from, who, were they American, you'd expect to see on Jerry Springer.

JingMerchant!
16th February 09, 07:40 PM
Although, they are the sole occupants of the Jeremy Kyle show, Britains answer to that type of car-crash viewing.

sochin101
2nd March 09, 07:27 AM
Anyone seen any updated news on the paternity/DNA test yet?
I've been waiting with interest (I hope it isn't Alfie's and he goes back to Pokemans and football trading cards), but haven't seen anything thus far.

Kein Haar
2nd March 09, 08:01 AM
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. When we talk about 'chavs' we're not just talking about violent young people, but the broader social class of people they spring from, who, were they American, you'd expect to see on Jerry Springer.

From what I gather, we have nothing closely resembling your chavs.

Doritosaurus Chex
2nd March 09, 08:34 AM
Last I remember, he still insists that he's the father and he's letting the others know it:

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00735/alfiemain_735878a.jpg

sochin101
2nd March 09, 08:44 AM
Classy.
Real classy.

Spade: The Real Snake
2nd March 09, 10:38 AM
I wonder if the infant will be attending the same finishing school as Alfie?

Kein Haar
4th March 09, 12:09 PM
To show how compassionate I am. List here an amount you're donating to a charity. I am willing to match any funds you contribute with an equal amount of your own money.

For instance, if you donate $100 to cystic fibrosis then I am willing to donate an additional $100 of your money.

I am doing this to demonstrate that if allowed, I am willing to be as charitable with your money as can be.

Sure, some may say that I don't understand compassion. But that's just the rambling of fools who are not as compassionate as I am. Hell, I'm so compassionate, I'm willing to put a gun to a doctor's head and FORCE him to practice medicine if need be. People are starving? Well I am so compassionate that I think we should round up people force them to labor in fields to produce food! I dare anyone to try and be more compassionate than me. I dare you!

Cullion
4th March 09, 01:58 PM
From what I gather, we have nothing closely resembling your chavs.

I don't know what you think they are exactly. You have deeply uneducated and lazy members of a petty criminal/welfare class who find vacuous pop celebrity culture enthralling. The rest is just a question of accent and clothes.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
4th March 09, 02:02 PM
Groups of lower-class kids banding together to wear bad clothes and commit crimes petty enough to keep them from actually getting in trouble but badass enough to brag about during Algebra I. Yep, sure don't have those in America.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
4th March 09, 03:59 PM
At any rate I left out the part where they've been in Algebra I for three years.

Kein Haar
4th March 09, 04:16 PM
I don't know what you think they are exactly. You have deeply uneducated and lazy members of a petty criminal/welfare class who find vacuous pop celebrity culture enthralling. The rest is just a question of accent and clothes.

Other internet Britons reveal a much more randomly destructive and harrassing tendency in them.

If there's a group of d-bags hanging out in an urban or suburban center (in the U.S.) it's highly unlikely they'll randomly throw bottles at people or start fights.

There seems to be something much more "forward" and arbitrary in your particular variety.

Our uneducated teenage criminal class will probably engage in crimes of profit like shoplifting....as opposed to just fucking with the people outside of Walmart.

Just my impressions and exceptions notwithstanding.

Cullion
4th March 09, 04:32 PM
Oh, yes, you are more likely to be assaulted by a stranger in the UK, but less likely to be killed according to the most recent statistics. Maybe our young scumbags are less scared by adult authority figures because they know they're unarmed, and would likely themselves be punished for chastising them.

Doritosaurus Chex
26th March 09, 08:07 AM
It looks like this story has come to an end for young Alfie:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/26/exclusive-dna-tests-show-boy-dad-alfie-patten-is-not-the-daddy-115875-21227974/

He may now commence the "I'm not the father" dance:

vt2i0ts-uck

KO'd N DOA
26th March 09, 08:50 AM
Thanks for the update...and the dance.

Truculent Sheep
26th March 09, 09:27 AM
Oh, yes, you are more likely to be assaulted by a stranger in the UK, but less likely to be killed according to the most recent statistics. Maybe our young scumbags are less scared by adult authority figures because they know they're unarmed, and would likely themselves be punished for chastising them.

Perhaps, but one underestimates the cultural differences between the US and UK white underclasses at your peril. (I'd reference Jim Goad's 'Redneck Manifesto' if he hadn't become such an unpleasant, racist troll like he has lately.)

I remember the good ol' days on Chavscum.co.uk, where they'd often wish some honest-to-gosh trailer trash flew over to the UK and machinegunned our own piky douchebags. Ah, we can dream...

KO'd N DOA
26th March 09, 11:04 AM
My following of the National Geographic genome project leads me to suspect that Trailer Trash and Chavs have often a gene in common that predisposes them to this behaviour.

jkdbuck76
26th March 09, 11:22 AM
TS,

"trailer trash" is a bad term. Please use the internationally-approved "Cracker-American" or "Appalaichan-American".

Or my fav. "Banjo-picking, 'possum-hunting, sheep-shagging, sister-marrying, toothless gimp-tards."

Spade: The Real Snake
26th March 09, 12:19 PM
So when are Sochin and Cullion's paternity tests scheduled?

Doritosaurus Chex
26th March 09, 12:48 PM
So when are Sochin and Cullion's paternity tests scheduled?

I'm looking forward to their "Not the father" dance.

Spade: The Real Snake
26th March 09, 01:17 PM
Or their dance of shame......

Doritosaurus Chex
26th March 09, 02:33 PM
Either way, they'd better be dancing.

CoffeeFan
26th March 09, 04:39 PM
All I can say is that 14 year old girl is a little ho and her parents need to be smacked upside the head for not looking out for her best interest.


Tests Show 13-Year-Old is Not a Father

by Tanya Edwards Mar 26th 2009 1:00PM
In a story that has read like something straight from Maury Povich or a bad soap opera, a DNA test has proved that Alfie Patten was not a father at 12-years-old, as was initially reported. The now 13-year-old Alfie is devastated, after taking the test and learning he is not the father of 15-year-old Chantelle Steadman's daughter Maisie, who he "adored."

The test was performed after the birth made national headlines in the UK and several other boys came forward claiming they had also slept with Chantelle. Alfie told the "Mirror" before the test that "I didn't know about DNA tests before, but mum explained it's when they do a swab in your mouth and it tells if you're the dad. So if I have it, they can all shut up."

His mother added, at the time "It had not even crossed Alfie's mind whether Chantelle had not been faithful to him. He's absolutely devastated that these lads say they slept with her."

Just days after the birth of Maisie, other potential fathers started stepping forward claiming they might be the father of the little girl, much to young Alfie's chagrin; "Other stupid boys are lying, saying bad things, like they have slept with Chantelle too. But I am the only boyfriend she has had and we've been together for two years, so I must be the dad. When she found out she was having a baby, I asked her 'Am I the dad?' and she went 'Yeah' so I believe her."

At the time, Chantelle agreed, saying Alfie was her only boyfriend.

The scandal broke over a month ago when Alfie and Chantelle spoke to the press shortly after Maisie was born, saying "I didn't know what it would be like to be a dad," he said. "I will be good, though, and care for it." The age of the parents and their lack of income ruffled feathers on both sides of the pond, as when the baby-faced young man, whose voice has yet to break was asked how he plans to provide for the baby financially, he replied, "What's financially?"

Chantelle had become pregnant at the young age of 14 after she "forgot to take" birth control last May, and claimed young Alfie as the father. At the time, it was hard not to be shocked, as Chantelle's parents had allowed Alfie and Chantelle to spend nights together under their own roof. With about half of teenagers becoming sexually active before the age of 19, and television talk shows profiling teens every afternoon who don't know who the father of their child is, it seems like we need to take a good look at how we're talking to our children about sex and safety.

Hopefully Alfie, Chantelle, baby Maisie and whomever the father is, can go on from this and have some semblance of a normal life, but as this story has unfolded that seems more and more unlikely.

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/03/26/tests-show-13-year-old-is-not-a-father/?icid=main|main|dl3|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentd ish.com%2F2009%2F03%2F26%2Ftests-show-13-year-old-is-not-a-father%2F

Zendetta
26th March 09, 05:33 PM
Krist.

I kan haz Eugenics Program pleez?

WarPhalange
27th March 09, 12:19 AM
It looks like this story has come to an end for young Alfie:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/03/26/exclusive-dna-tests-show-boy-dad-alfie-patten-is-not-the-daddy-115875-21227974/

He may now commence the "I'm not the father" dance:

vt2i0ts-uck

What the fuck? But she was five thousand percent sure!!

nihilist
27th March 09, 12:46 AM
Is the choice really 'kill it' or 'put it on welfare'?

There's the white slavery option too.

nihilist
27th March 09, 12:50 AM
Somebody install a lock on the hogmaw.

Hedley LaMarr
29th March 09, 11:46 PM
All I can say is that 14 year old girl is a little ho and her parents need to be smacked upside the head for not looking out for her best interest.



http://www.parentdish.com/2009/03/26/tests-show-13-year-old-is-not-a-father/?icid=main|main|dl3|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentd ish.com%2F2009%2F03%2F26%2Ftests-show-13-year-old-is-not-a-father%2F
Called it.

Man, I feel bad for Alfie. He's been through some serious shee-it.

WarPhalange
30th March 09, 01:54 AM
I wonder if he still has to pay child support, since he had already decided to take care of the kid.

nihilist
30th March 09, 01:58 AM
I wonder if he still has to pay child support, since he had already decided to take care of the kid.

I can just see the reality show where he is mowing lawns and stuff to make money for baby formula.

Feryk
30th March 09, 02:24 PM
Alfie gets his life back, so good for him. I'm sure he has no idea what to make of all this. Fuck, if that happened to anybody at any age, it'd be a complete mess.

Spade: The Real Snake
30th March 09, 02:30 PM
I can just see the reality show where he is mowing lawns and stuff to make money for baby formula.
He should just pimp "Chantelle" out.

That ho out there just givin' that shit away fo free, brother should get paid, yo.


Nowutimsayin?

Feryk
31st March 09, 11:19 AM
Bitch lied to him all the way through this, even to the bitter end. Pimp slap fo' sho.

KO'd N DOA
31st March 09, 01:06 PM
How many "Ho's" can a 13 year old who looks so gentle, keep in his stable?

Spade: The Real Snake
31st March 09, 01:16 PM
How many "Ho's" can a 13 year old who looks so gentle, keep in his stable?

Enuff 2 keep food on da table.

floss round da neck
gas in da tank
bitchez on da arm
chedder in da bank.



yo.

SonofSam
10th April 09, 05:43 AM
Polanski is not impressed.