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Stick
18th November 08, 03:03 AM
Pad Thai recipe by Wolfgang Puck (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/wolfgang-puck/shrimp-pad-thai-recipe/index.html) gets a solid "thank you" from my libido.

Mas
18th November 08, 03:15 AM
http://bestuff.com/images/images_of_stuff/210x600/roofies-93991.jpg

Effective indeed.

Stick
18th November 08, 03:24 AM
You see this?

This right here!

I'll stab you with it.

Neildo
18th November 08, 03:25 AM
i don't think it worked that well, you're at the computer at midnight. should you not be attending to something else?

I don't think it's so much about what you make, unless it's like spam on toast or macaroni and cheese with hot dogs in it or something. culinary prowess is a good thing.

Stick
18th November 08, 03:32 AM
Actually, I'm at the computer at 330 in the morning, we both have to be up in 3 hours, so she went home.

/stab

Mas
18th November 08, 03:38 AM
Here you go Stick, I'll throw you a bone.

Citrus Baked Tilapia

1 pound fresh tilapia fillets
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp. lime zest
1/4 cup freshly-squeezed lime juice
1/4 cup orange juice (preferably freshly-squeezed)
2 Tbsp. Thai sweet red chili sauce
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. freshly-ground black pepperPreheat oven to 400 degrees F. Rinse tilapia fillets and pat dry.
In a shallow glass baking dish, whisk together the olive oil, lime zest, lime juice, orange juice, chili sauce and salt and pepper. Place tilapia fillets in the dish, turning to coat well with marinade. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until the fish flakes easily with a fork.


I like to grill the Tilapia actually, it just has to marinate longer. Put the Tilapia and marinade in the fridge for a few hours and you're money. Serve over rice, make more sauce to pour over the rice. Goes great with a small salad, and something like a lemon/lime drop to drink with it.



Classy, sexy, elegant; it's like food-rohypnol.

Stick
18th November 08, 03:41 AM
Nice, I'd rather not doing something as god damn complicated as pad thai every time- my kitchen's a fucking war zone.

Neildo
18th November 08, 03:43 AM
oh wow it's way later than i though. haha time for bed.


ah screw sleep, i'm gonna shoot more zombies.


I made chow mein with philippine sausages and spring rolls for dinner. served with rice. asian food is awesome.

I'm gonna try making that pad thai sometime. I can probably get it from the thai place down the street for cheaper, but making stuff yourself usually tastes better.

Mas
18th November 08, 03:43 AM
Nice, I'd rather not doing something as god damn complicated as pad thai every time- my kitchen's a fucking war zone.

Pad Thai is a major pain in the ass to make. If you have a more down-to-earth kinda girl I have a good "lets stay in on a cold night with hot chocolate and watch a movie (and perhaps more?)" meal.

Prereq: She must like cheese. Which to many women is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

MEGALEF
18th November 08, 04:54 AM
Here's my recipe for succes(ex).

Flying Jacob Chicken

A pound or so of chicken meat
Cream (Whipped)
Chili sauce
Bacon
Salted peanuts
Mushrooms
(Bananas)



Set the oven to 225 deg C ~= 440 deg F
Whip the cream and mix with some chili sauce.
Fry the mushrooms and bacon cut in small pieces.
Cut the chicken into smallish pieces and fry them but not too much.
Put mushrooms, bacon and chicken in a pan and cover with whipped cream with chilisauce. Some people put bananas in there as well but I don't like that.
Put pan into oven. It should stay in there for about 20 minutes.
With a couple of minutes left, sprinkle the damn thing with peanuts and put it back.
Serve with rice.
Win.

Steve
18th November 08, 05:17 AM
My girl is making me homemade chicken tortilla casserole for dinner tomorrow (er, tonight, since it's after midnight).

Yes, I can't wait!

I just have to get her to post her recipes here in NOM.

SoulMechanic
18th November 08, 02:32 PM
My girl is making me homemade chicken tortilla casserole for dinner tomorrow (er, tonight, since it's after midnight).

Yes, I can't wait!

I just have to get her to post her recipes here in NOM.

Well my girl is Mexican and turns my kitchen into a fucking El Torito every night. The down side to this is between the el pastor tacos and malt liquor I am beginning to need much more cardio. That and them latin girls always be yelling and throwing shit at you.

Oh, and as for my cooking prowess I'm the ghetto gourmet. I have been known to weave top romen noodles into culinary gold. Bring enough creativity to the table and you don't need any fancy pad thai to get laid. That and try to pump her full of liquor beforehand.

Cullion
18th November 08, 03:19 PM
Actually, I'm at the computer at 330 in the morning, we both have to be up in 3 hours, so she went home.


You didn't cry afterwards again did you?

Kiko
18th November 08, 03:26 PM
Doesn't matter what you cook. Follow it with chocolate fondue- strawberries for dipping. Some good wine and you have not only a recipe for snuggles but you can play with the chocolate too!

Kein Haar
18th November 08, 03:41 PM
Neil,

Mac&Cheese with hot dogs. Hehehe.

That works for pedophiles, actually.

I tried to ass-rep you, but it's still too soon.

Kiko
18th November 08, 03:42 PM
I just tried a new Mac&Cheese the other night. Kids thought it was a bit spicy, so I'll post it. But that's not DATE food.. that's old married food!

Kein Haar
18th November 08, 03:44 PM
Cream
Cheddar
Parmesan
Garlic
Dijon mustard

End.

That totally gets me in my wife's pan...

Err..yeah. Married food.

Zendetta
18th November 08, 04:15 PM
Anything Thai or Italian.

HappyOldGuy
18th November 08, 04:23 PM
It depends on who the target audience is. If you're an old fuck living in the gourmet ghetto, it's pretty much gotta be deconstructed pressed duck with hand gathered wild mushrooms, and gelato made with cream from arctic bison to even have a shot at a handjob.

Robot Jesus
18th November 08, 11:26 PM
not exactly a meal, but for a late night snack with some wine just wrap some scallops in prochutio. saute and serve.

Tanhalen21
19th November 08, 12:10 AM
prochutio.

What the fuck is this?

Robot Jesus
19th November 08, 12:50 AM
prosciutto, amazingly google doesn't catch that.

Neildo
19th November 08, 01:13 AM
i had some of that on pasta at your show, TH21. It's ham. A certain cut of pig that's prepared in a long and complicated manner. probably invented a long time ago before italians had proper refrigerators. Very tasty.

Tanhalen21
19th November 08, 01:52 AM
I know what Prosciutto is, I was just breaking Robot Jesus' balls for misspelling it when Sociocide has a fucking spell-check built in.

Neildo
19th November 08, 01:58 AM
oh yeah. i'm doing that to soulmechanic. it's awesome.

Robot Jesus
21st November 08, 06:40 AM
actually I've got a pretty good duck breast recipe.

brine the duck in a mixture of 2 cups orange juice, quarter cup salt, fresh rosemary sprigs, couple grinds pepper (tablespoon or so), three cloves of crushed garlic; for 2-3 hours.

score skin with knife (very shallow, should barely break the skin). saute skin side down for 10 min on medium low, flip and continue.

remove duck from pan, add kale or any hard greens. toss to wilt, add some balsamic vinegar. serve with rice.

Cullion
11th December 08, 05:12 PM
Some old wives' tales are true. Shellfish.

Shellfish can easily become very expensive when you want to make a good impression by getting fresh lobster and oysters. No need.

Mussells, clams, largest prawns you can find. If you have the cash to hand, some big chunks of Monkfish for a satisfying meat-like texture spread around in your dish.

You will need shallots. Some kind of green herb that goes well with wine and/or citrus flavours. White wine at the cheaper end of acceptable for cooking.
You can take this one of three ways.

You can serve with a touch of paprika and some melted Gruyere on top alongside some vegetable and potato recipes you google looking for french stuff. (best in winter).

You can serve with pasta, again with good paprika, and parmesan and black pepper to her taste (bring it to the table)

or you can take that seafood, and some coconut milk, and get your blender out and google for good thai curry recipes. Don't compromise on freshness and authenticity of any vegetable or asian spice ingredients. You serve over home-made jasmine rice cooked _exactly_ by the book.

With the first two European-themed options, A _very_ small splash of real, honest full-fat cream. Paprika goes on at the end as a visible, sprikled red dust, for presentation. On top of the cream and/or cheese if you're using it.

Zendetta
11th December 08, 05:14 PM
shellfish--->zinc--->spermcount.

Good advice.

Mr. Mantis
13th December 08, 08:10 PM
So Friday night's commute was all black ice, so I decided to take all back roads home, right past the seafood market. I got a 1/2 pound of large shrimp and 1 squid. It cost me 7 bux and I made my way home.

I made calamari as such:

Clean squid, if you don't know how to do this, you need to learn, and I ain't gonna try to teach you by typing directions.

I cut the squid tentacle part into 4 parts, and I cut the body in rings about 3/8 inch. Personal preference on how you cut it up though.

in a bowl:
Little bit of flour
some salt, pepper, paprika and cayenne

Throw squid in there and get it all floured up.

In a medium saute' pan. melt butter, like 2 T on medium high, throw in some chopped garlic.

Throw the squid in there, cook it for a little bit then turn as the flour browns a little. When it's almost cooked which really doesn't take long, pour in some white wine, you may also want to add a little bit of the flour mixture to the pan. This makes a gravy. Take 2 lemon wedges, squeeze and throw them in, add 3 green olives and a tad bit of red cracked pepper flakes and a touch of fresh chopped parsley.

I also made some salads.
Eat!

Meanwhile, I got some water boiling, and I cleaned the skillet when I finished with the calamari.

I put some canned corn in a saucepot to heat up.
Couple T butter in the skillet with some minced garlic. You should peel and devein the shrimp. You can buy them cleaned, but for just the 2 of you, why spend the money. it's $12 bucks a pound vs 8 a pound.

Throw the shrimp in there and cook em. You know they turn pink. add white wine and parsley. I boiled angel hair pasta, put in bowls and put the shrimp over the pasta. I put the corn in separate little bowls.

I think its a great date dinner. and not just because you continue to feed your date liquor throughout the night.

Zendetta
13th December 08, 08:14 PM
Had some prosciutto on a chicken sandwich just now - wonderful stuff.

f4n4n
14th December 08, 07:08 AM
The prosciutto you get in the US is not as good as what you get in Italy (or Europe in general). It is even hard to get decent cheese without paying 15$ or more and what you charge for olive oil is just ludicrous. Cooking in the US was actually a pain in the ass.
But I guess I am spoiled with all that vegetables and fruit in our backyard that don't taste like water in different color and shape.
Plus if you manage to fuck up Nutella(how can you make it that sweet?!) then there is something wrong with your perception of food.
/rant

To not be completely OT, I don't make fancy stuff fore dates, I just invite them over and make something I can do without thinking while they are watching, get them involved in the process and that is all it takes. Or even better it invite them over to cook for me...:biggrin:

Kiko
14th December 08, 09:15 AM
if you don't know how to do this, you need to learn, and I ain't gonna try to teach you by typing directions..

I love this part!! You need to have a cooking show, Manti$!!

Equipoise
14th December 08, 12:40 PM
Pollo Fricito.

Chicken Chest stuffed with prosciutto, spinach and mozzarella.

Sauce is a Bechamel with provolone or mozzarella and a lot of butter.

Brown the chicken prior to stuffing, bake at 350ish. Remove, top with the Bechamel, done.

Also Manti$, Italians tend to eat pasta by itself rather than mixed with meat or seafood. You can serve it side by side, but adding it in tends to taint the taste of the pasta...except if your Sicilian and then you eat crap anyway.


The prosciutto you get in the US is not as good as what you get in Italy (or Europe in general). It is even hard to get decent cheese without paying 15$ or more and what you charge for olive oil is just ludicrous. Cooking in the US was actually a pain in the ass. But I guess I am spoiled with all that vegetables and fruit in our backyard that don't taste like water in different color and shape. Plus if you manage to fuck up Nutella(how can you make it that sweet?!) then there is something wrong with your perception of food.

Whatever... If you hunt around you can find really good Prosciutto or you can go to your local Publix, Harris Teeter, Shop-Rite and pick up the store brand. If you want super authentic dried pork, you're going to pay through the nose. Jamon Iberico for example can go for like 500$ + a pound. Decent cheese, you live in NYC, how can you not find decent cheese that's not 15$ ? Stop going to D'agostino's and go shop at a local market. As for the veggies, I'll concede on that part. Grow your own if you can. American Nutella is sweet because that's how we like it, if we wanted it to taste like chalk we'd specially order it from Europe.

Cullion
14th December 08, 01:27 PM
Equipoise, answer me something about Italian food:-

I've only been to Italy once, on a business trip to Turin. I got taken to a good restaurant by a local man. The pasta course came first and as you describe, none of the choices had meat or strongly flavoured sauces, but they did have things like wild mushrooms or cheese sauces. The meat course came next (served with a few green vegetables and no more pasta or bread).

Notably, other than the pasta to start, there wasn't much sign of the things you associate with 'Italian food' in English speaking countries. Didn't notice any olives or olive oil, peppers, anchovies, garlic, didn't see much tomato sauce etc.. It was all fairly warming food made with lamb or veal, and more filling vegetables like beans and pumpkins.

Is this just a Turin/Piedmont/Northern Italian thing ? What's the real home-cooking like further south?

Cullion
14th December 08, 04:48 PM
I don't fully understand why Americans would want to spend all that money on 'authentic' Spanish or Italian ham.
Surely at least one of the enterprising sorts out there must have found a good recipe and experimented to satisfying result with local organic-raised pork ?

The thing about 'authentic' european foods is that there's a massive, massive amount of protectionism. It's literally illegal in the EU to call something champagne if it wasn't actually made by a licenced vineyard in the Champagne region of France.

That doesn't actually mean that Champagne is the best made or most flavoursome sparkling white wine. The best ham doesn't necessarily come from Parma or Andalucia. It just has to in order to legally be called 'Parma' or 'Jamon Andalucia' here.

You're free of all these regulations as far as I'm aware, how come farmers out there aren't making there own? or is it that they do, but there's some residual snobbery about getting 'the authentic' ?

HappyOldGuy
14th December 08, 05:32 PM
That was a very good question. So I dug up an answer.

http://www.newsomscountryham.com/nytimesstory.html

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/archives/1989/8901250463.asp

f4n4n
14th December 08, 05:37 PM
Well you are correct, a lot of products around here in Europe are protected, one way or the other. This is good for most of the time. But sometimes it is not.
It is good since it comes with certain standards and quality control.
For instance take parmigiano reggiano, the cows that produce the milk are only allowed to get food from a certain region, only their milk is used and the cheese has to "age" in a special climate room that is sort of a cave, hence having special "air".
Well that sounds strange on first sight. But this is to assure a certain standard. If you feed different mixes of weed, the milk will be different. If you let the cheese age somewhere else it will taste different due to different climate + content of the air...
And while you might think this is not the best parmigiano, you can always be sure that the quality is the same for parmigiano reggiano.

Same goes for other food. And especially with food, where there are so many influences, you have to have rules/guidelines in order to maintain a certain quality. Again this, might not be the best (depending on personal taste) but you can be sure about what you get.



@Equipoise Well I tried certain types and they all tasted ... well they didn't taste like anything, same goes for the milk (I couldn't find anything with a fat content 3.5%) it is just a mass that looks sort of like cheese but that is it. And I am still looking for a bakery that makes "German bread".
In general, everybody, from brazil over South Africa to France had trouble with the quality of the food compared to the price. Sure you can get nice stuff but then you pay sooo much more.

Cullion
14th December 08, 05:38 PM
Thanks HoG, that's a very interesting article. The american 'country hams' sound a lot more like the traditional dutch or english idea of ham. Milder, sweeter and not nearly as dried, so ok to serve cooked or cold, rather than the very salty and drier southern european stuff that you either use as a flavouring when cooking or serve cold very thinly sliced.

HappyOldGuy
14th December 08, 05:55 PM
I don't know if he's aver going to make it onto english TV, but there is an american food show called Good Eats that I think you would probably like if you ever see it on the schedue. /tangent

Cullion
14th December 08, 06:08 PM
I probably won't see it. I only have the free cable stations for my wife's benefit and watch maybe a less than an hour of TV per week. I can be a physical slob as well as the next man but the time most people would spend watching TV I spend on web forums with my laptop on my knee, or sometimes reading. The rest of my free time is spent out of the house socialising, cooking or working out.

Equipoise
14th December 08, 09:52 PM
Equipoise, answer me something about Italian food:-

I've only been to Italy once, on a business trip to Turin. I got taken to a good restaurant by a local man. The pasta course came first and as you describe, none of the choices had meat or strongly flavoured sauces, but they did have things like wild mushrooms or cheese sauces. The meat course came next (served with a few green vegetables and no more pasta or bread).

Notably, other than the pasta to start, there wasn't much sign of the things you associate with 'Italian food' in English speaking countries. Didn't notice any olives or olive oil, peppers, anchovies, garlic, didn't see much tomato sauce etc.. It was all fairly warming food made with lamb or veal, and more filling vegetables like beans and pumpkins.

Is this just a Turin/Piedmont/Northern Italian thing ? What's the real home-cooking like further south?

Torino is close to France, so you're going to have a heavy French influence in the cooking of course. Butter versus olive oil is going to be your fat of choice here. When you start going further south, you're going to see different kinds of ingredients being used within the cooking. In Roma for example, you're going to see a lot of grain usage along with livestock. The food is generally heavy and hearty. Something like Steak, potatoes, bread, greens, etc. You're not going to see a heavy usage of tomatoes, red chilli, etc. Even garlic for the most part is going to be lightly used. Another thing about garlic is the fact that most Italians don't like a lot of garlic in their food. A little is great, but the way it's done in America overpowers the food.

In other regions such as Campagna and the Amalfi coast; where my family is from, you find Italy's best tomatoes, citrus, fish and light dishes. It's the Mediterranean style diet. You will find some usage of spicy foods like Scungilli fra Diavolo, but it's not going to be the same as what you would see in Calabria or Sicilia. The further south you go, the more you see the Americanized style of Italian food; Lasagna, Meatballs, etc. Calabria for the most part has very spicy food and is very hearty. Much of south Calabria and Sicilia are/were very poor. So, function took place over form. This is especially found in Sicilia. They eat almost anything and tend to put it all together. They have this "delicacy" they call Gugetzeal. I have no idea what the actual word in Italian is, but it translates into sheep's brain from Sicilian. They serve it in the skull. It's disgusting.

Some places like Firenze (Florence) have weird foods that have Middle Eastern influence. They're nothing like your traditional Italian fare that most English countries are used to. You'll also get treated like an asshole in Florence even if you're fluent as for some reason they think of themselves as a separate nation. There language is also difficult to understand as is native Napolitano. Italy's like China in this regard. Regional dialects are plentiful and many of them you can tell it's an off shoot of the main language, but unless you know it; it's like deciphering a code.


@Equipoise Well I tried certain types and they all tasted ... well they didn't taste like anything, same goes for the milk (I couldn't find anything with a fat content 3.5%) it is just a mass that looks sort of like cheese but that is it. And I am still looking for a bakery that makes "German bread".
In general, everybody, from brazil over South Africa to France had trouble with the quality of the food compared to the price. Sure you can get nice stuff but then you pay sooo much more.

Even at the markets? Here in Miami, we can find a lot of the ingredients for the same prices usually. Some things though you have to pay the import tax if you want the original. Like Guarana Antartica. I'll pay the tax for that.

Cullion, regarding us wanting to pay for European foods, American food is all about bigger, more, spicier, sweeter, *insert superlative here.* It's like an American action movie. You have your awesome muscle bound hero shoot 3.14 x infinity bad guys with his rail gun while saving the planet and the hot actress. No point, no plot, good for a one time watch, but about as deep as a puddle.

As such, the meaning of actual cuisine is lost. We don't have an American cuisine per se, but a bastardization of many other cultures. Even the purveyors of specialized foods here cater to the popular desires of Americans. If you want the good stuff, you gotta have it exported or made by a person from the country of origin. Also have you had American wines? 98% of them are garbage, sparkling or otherwise. That's why we like Champagne and French and Italian wines.

Mr. Mantis
15th December 08, 11:46 AM
You need to have a cooking show, Manti$!!
HaHA Thanks. Those cooking shows always leave out things like that huh? Maybe the next time I make Calamari, I'll make a "How to clean a squid" thread with pictures.



Also Manti$, Italians tend to eat pasta by itself rather than mixed with meat or seafood. You can serve it side by side, but adding it in tends to taint the taste of the pasta...except if your Sicilian and then you eat crap anyway.

Now that you mention it, yeah, you're right. They do separate the pasta out with the meat. I suppose that's proper, and the best way to enjoy the dish...

But, me wife and I are barbarians, so we are pasta mixers. Plus, it would create another dish to clean if we separated them, so fuck that!

HappyOldGuy
15th December 08, 11:58 AM
Also have you had American wines? 98% of them are garbage, sparkling or otherwise. That's why we like Champagne and French and Italian wines.
Shut your whore whole.

I will start asking cops from florida wine advice right after I start letting straight guys cut my hair.

Equipoise
15th December 08, 08:30 PM
Uh huh. You stick to your MD 20/20 and Wild Irish Rose then you old bastard.

Dark Helmet
15th December 08, 09:30 PM
Funny enough i enjoy pasta on it's own with a little butter.

Equipoise
15th December 08, 09:33 PM
So do a lot of northern and middle region Italians.

HappyOldGuy
15th December 08, 10:17 PM
Uh huh. You stick to your MD 20/20 and Wild Irish Rose then you old bastard.

I only get to imbibe once or twice a week, but there is a 97 ravenswood zinfandel on the rack calling my name. You wouldn't like it tho, it's american.

Mr. Mantis
15th December 08, 11:53 PM
Funny enough i enjoy pasta on it's own with a little butter.
Actually, I often have it with "Molly McButter" and a little Romano cheese.

I also put sugar on Elio's pizza.

Kein Haar
16th December 08, 07:39 AM
Oof, Madone! Italy went down the tubes cuz of lead poisoning.

We are witness to its horrible epigenetic legacy.

Kiko
16th December 08, 04:24 PM
I don't know if he's aver going to make it onto english TV, but there is an american food show called Good Eats that I think you would probably like if you ever see it on the schedue. /tangent

You can probably find some clips of it on the FoodNetwork site. Look for Alton Brown.

Robot Jesus
16th December 08, 08:57 PM
http://www.youtube.com/user/LikeTheHat

the first eight seasons

Equipoise
16th December 08, 08:57 PM
You can find the episodes on You Tube. Look for "Likethehat productions."

http://www.youtube.com/user/LikeTheHat?ob=1

Hein are you referring to the rampant guinea stupidity found within New Jersey and Chicago?



I only get to imbibe once or twice a week, but there is a 97 ravenswood zinfandel on the rack calling my name. You wouldn't like it tho, it's american

I'm surprised your palate still works old man.