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Steve
9th August 08, 11:17 PM
Stupid fucker.

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0958.jpg

He does this shit all the time.

WarPhalange
9th August 08, 11:34 PM
How do slash tires?

Steve
9th August 08, 11:35 PM
How do stay out of jail?

WarPhalange
10th August 08, 12:00 AM
How do tow the fucker?

Steve
10th August 08, 12:04 AM
How do...

Fuck off.

partyboy
10th August 08, 12:36 AM
how do get a POS car to wedge into that free spot

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
10th August 08, 12:40 AM
replace his gas cap with a locking gas cap

nihilist
10th August 08, 12:55 AM
Replace his regular coffee with Folger's Crystals.

WarPhalange
10th August 08, 12:58 AM
Replace his car with an empty parking space.

bob
10th August 08, 12:59 AM
Go here:

http://www.abika.com/Reports/LicensePlates.htm

Find out his personal details, then make up a craigslist personal ad for him.

WarPhalange
10th August 08, 01:06 AM
By the way, just to make sure, that's not your car, is it?

nihilist
10th August 08, 01:18 AM
Put a "FUCK DA POLICE" sticker on his car.

Stick
10th August 08, 01:30 AM
How do "wrong fucking forum"?

nihilist
10th August 08, 01:35 AM
No we are planning "mayhem".

Dagon Akujin
10th August 08, 01:55 AM
Simple: Park behind him so he can't get out. When he complains to you, and he will because he's a mega-douche, tell him you were trying to park in the open spot next to him.

Oh, and also, this thread should be about other bad parking jobs:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/207358_39ac499a9d.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/28/52270633_2c37fb109a.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/80/281619506_89024dbc98.jpg
http://www.funnypics.dk/data/media/1/badparking.jpg
http://www.crazyshit.com/site/pics/images/bad_parking_job.jpg
http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/lamborghini_bad_parking.jpg
http://www.squizzle.com/_sed43/badparkingjob.jpg
http://media.techeblog.com/images/parkingjob.jpg
http://www.mopo.ca/hello/1907759/1024/badparkingjob-2005.06.28-17.46.56.jpg

Equipoise
10th August 08, 02:10 AM
If it makes you feel any better Steve, I whip out my ticket book anytime I see that and drop 45$ ordinance violations on assholes like that. What's great is that I can do that on duty and off duty in 1hr increments. I've issued 5 to one car before for double parking like that nonsense in the image.

Neildo
10th August 08, 03:12 AM
I've issued 5 to one car before for double parking like that nonsense in the image.

evil! i love it!

Steve
10th August 08, 03:49 AM
How do "wrong fucking forum"?

OH, lol.

Steve
10th August 08, 03:49 AM
Fixed.

partyboy
10th August 08, 11:08 AM
U_sdMYUmMQ0

lftbPalf4Z4

W_XA6UsZyNE

Kein Haar
10th August 08, 12:37 PM
Use his luggage rack, and tie his car to that tree.

Neildo
10th August 08, 12:37 PM
or something he might not notice so easily, tie his bumper to someone elses bumper.

Kiko
10th August 08, 12:38 PM
Hmmm. Use a chain attached to that railing.

Kein Haar
10th August 08, 12:39 PM
We're trying to avoid collateral damage, people.

Kiko
10th August 08, 12:43 PM
Maybe YOU were. A rope or a tree can be cut.

WarPhalange
10th August 08, 12:53 PM
Put a cat in his gas tank.

Kiko
10th August 08, 12:59 PM
There's gotta be a garden bed nearby. Take a handful of mulch, the sort with larger bits in it. Toss it in the air over his hood/windshield.

When the average person sees this, they'll try to brush it off and it'll scratch the car. Maybe NEXT time, he'll figure it out and pick off each bit....

Or just park like a civilized driver.

EuropIan
10th August 08, 01:03 PM
It takes a special kind of asshole to have tinted windows on a SUV

Kein Haar
10th August 08, 01:16 PM
Maybe YOU were. A rope or a tree can be cut.

Yes, but chains make noise and scratch things.

Round my parts, it's the difference between "criminal damage to property" and "mischievous conduct".

Let's also keep this in perspective. The parking is simply annoying....so is having to cut a stout rope off a luggage rack, or prune a tree.

Justice.

Kiko
10th August 08, 01:22 PM
Steve, don't let him arrest you. Go with the mulch ;)
Or, wait.. do you still have that ghost? Put it in the backseat!

Equipoise
10th August 08, 02:06 PM
You could always just let the air out of all of his tires. That's pretty annoying and harmless.

Fearless Ukemi
10th August 08, 02:20 PM
Shove a big glob of mud in his exhaust pipe.

Equipoise
10th August 08, 02:40 PM
Put a noticeable sugar solution on his gas tank lid, leading down to the grounds. Make sure he can figure out what it is so he has to take his car to the mechanic for the fear of a possibly serious issue. You'll make him spend the money to get it checked out without actually doing anything damaging to the car.

WarPhalange
10th August 08, 02:41 PM
Kill him.

Equipoise
10th August 08, 02:49 PM
Yes..there is always that option I guess.

Hitman
10th August 08, 07:55 PM
Kill him.

With his own SUV.

Olorin
10th August 08, 09:27 PM
For 2.99 you can buy a NAMBLA bumper sticker and put it on his car. It will be at least a few days before he notices it.

Link (http://www.stickithard.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=48)

Fearless Ukemi
10th August 08, 09:32 PM
You could also put a bunch of those heavy duty stickers all over his windows. The kind you need a razor blade to get off.

Kein Haar
10th August 08, 10:41 PM
For 2.99 you can buy a NAMBLA bumper sticker and put it on his car. It will be at least a few days before he notices it.

Link (http://www.stickithard.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=48)

Oh shnap!

Steve
12th August 08, 12:21 AM
Fuck, residual damage has occurred.

I took this pic later the same night but it didn't come out very well:

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0961-1.jpg

Now even with the asshole gone, we still have fucktardness left over (pic taken tonight):

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0965.jpg

Damn it.

nihilist
12th August 08, 12:35 AM
roll out some parking lines and put up an "Improperly Parked Vehicles will be towed" sign.

WarPhalange
12th August 08, 01:18 AM
Oh my God... I agree...

Steve
12th August 08, 01:21 AM
It takes a stong, dare I say MACHO man, to agree with his enemies. Good show.

nihilist
12th August 08, 01:49 AM
Oh my God... I agree...

Well obviously I'm doing something wrong then.

Steve
12th August 08, 02:14 AM
EMO-1138, AMIRITE?

nihilist
12th August 08, 09:16 AM
Are you referring to my avatar?

Steve
12th August 08, 09:49 AM
Yes.

EvilSteve
12th August 08, 10:37 AM
I say you vandalize the silver car for parking improperly. Yeah, it's not his fault, but that's even better- he gets the shaft because of what the asshole in the SUV did, and the guy who caused the problem gets away scott free!

But if that isn't good enough, mr silvercar will probably go home and kick his dog out of frustration. The dog, because it was abused, will then go and bite the mailman, but not before being bitten by a rabid squirrel!

This mailman, who is an avid collector of large-caliber firearms, comes down with rabies, loses his shit, and opens fire on a post office full of patrons before being cut down in a hail of bullets by law enforcement. Among the dead are a mother and child - Mariam and Leila.

Mad with grief and hatred over the death of his wife and child, Mohammed turns to an extremist mosque for solace. Because of his fragile mental state, he is selected for a martyrdom operation by Iranian agents operating withing the mosque: he is to detonate a suitcase nuke inside the beltway of Washington DC.

The initial blast kills some 700,000 people. Eventually 300,000 more will succumb to radiation poisoning. The bulk of the U.S. government is killed and in its stead the shadow government takes over.

Wasting no time, the new unelected government launches a strategic nuclear strike on Tehran. In defense of its ally, Moscow launches a full scale nuclear assault on the U.S. The U.S. responds with an equally devastating volley. Before the day is out, 3 billion are dead, and another two will die within the week. Human civilization will take centuries to recover fully.

So dude, VANDALIZE THAT SILVER CAR! It would be WICKED FUCKIN' AWESOME!!

nihilist
13th August 08, 01:11 AM
I'll have you know that the avatar is Vincent Gallo.

I'm hoping that I don't have to come right out and tell you what ChloŽ Sevigny is on her knees and doing to him at that moment in that film.

WarPhalange
13th August 08, 01:38 AM
Tying his shoes?

Eric
13th August 08, 01:45 AM
I'll have you know that the avatar is Vincent Gallo.

I'm hoping that I don't have to come right out and tell you what ChloŽ Sevigny is on her knees and doing to him at that moment in that film.

Holy goddamn that movie was boring. The ending didn't really make up for it.

nihilist
13th August 08, 08:19 AM
Tying his shoes?

You forgot thelolamirite, dork.

nihilist
13th August 08, 08:20 AM
Holy goddamn that movie was boring. The ending didn't really make up for it.


heh, you watched the whole movie.

WarPhalange
13th August 08, 10:00 AM
You forgot thelolamirite, dork.

You forgot the... oh no, the shitty one-liner is right there, sorry.

By the way, "dork"? What are you, in 3rd grade?

nihilist
13th August 08, 10:07 AM
What are you, in 3rd grade?lol amirite?

nihilist
13th August 08, 10:12 AM
Tying his shoes?



What are you, in 3rd grade?


Irony.

WarPhalange
13th August 08, 10:16 AM
Oh, sorry, I guess I should have said "sucking his dick", because that is not 3rd grade material. 5th grade at the earliest.

nihilist
13th August 08, 10:20 AM
Oh, sorry

Apology accepted.

Steve
15th August 08, 10:47 PM
I have an unsettling theory...

I fear that the original idiot parker may have killed the person who was forced to also park like an idiot. It's been DAYS and altho the original idiot has driven away (is currently parked on the street) the second car is still there...

From 5 days ago:

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0961-1.jpg

And just taken less than 5 minutes ago:

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0966.jpg

I think the person that owns the silver car may have confronted the guy who owned the Isuzu about his shit parking and then things escalated.

Poor guy, I'm hoping he's okay.

nihilist
15th August 08, 10:53 PM
You are officially entering the MJS zone

nihilist
15th August 08, 11:09 PM
Actually Steve may be onto something.
I did some detective work and knocked on the door
of the bad parker.
the door was unlocked and swung open.
the first ting I saw was a little disturbing...

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/3839/1000081vc0.jpg

nihilist
15th August 08, 11:21 PM
http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/6853/1000083on1.jpg

It is comforting to know however that he has enough love for his pets to have gone to so much trouble to build a shrine of sorts for his departed creatures.

Steve
20th August 08, 11:33 PM
This problem seems to be contagious.... The evil Isuzu is back but now we have two cars that are parked at opposite angles, while the Isuzu almost parked straight for once (the car on the left still hasn't moved).

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/IMG_0972-1.jpg

nihilist
20th August 08, 11:35 PM
You should load up the truck and move to Beverly.

Steve
20th August 08, 11:45 PM
I think I'd need to cut a hole in the back end and put in some seats with springs first.

I don't have that kind of money. :(

syberia
21st August 08, 12:28 AM
Why does it not have parking lines?

At least clarify fo people whether its a 90, parallel or 45 parking area.

Bastards.

nihilist
21st August 08, 12:31 AM
Why does it not have parking lines?


To promote and maintain confusion.

bob
21st August 08, 12:40 AM
Steve is playing out his Hitchcock fantasies.


http://www.soundtrackcollector.com/images/movie/large/Rear_window.jpg

Steve
21st August 08, 12:55 AM
My rear window has a good view of the smallish tree you see.

I'm out in the lot taking pictures.

bob
21st August 08, 04:18 AM
Somewhere on the internet someone is posting pictures of you taking pictures in the lot under the thread title: "Creepy Guy Taking Pictures In My Car Park."

Kiko
21st August 08, 12:17 PM
Get some chalk or semi washable paint. Draw wavy/curvy parking lines. Draw one of these...
http://www.murdercapers.com/DeadBodyOutlineSmall.jpg

Or maybe some of these...
http://www.theworldsmostsecretsociety.com/Hopscotch.jpg
Or even some of these..
http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn208/meateggz/Pentagrams.jpg
In all the spaces....

nihilist
21st August 08, 11:21 PM
http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/8210/imagesxqb0.jpg

Steve
22nd August 08, 12:20 AM
I fucking just found out that the dude that owns the Isuzu owns the silver car. He also owns two other cars parked here.

Fucking glutton.

syberia
22nd August 08, 12:39 AM
What the hell does he need four cars for?

Steve
22nd August 08, 12:59 AM
Fucking glutton.

Kiko
22nd August 08, 11:50 AM
Tie/chain all the axles together...

Equipoise
22nd August 08, 05:18 PM
Steve, have you actually gone to your landlord with the pictures and incident dates?

You can always go to the civil magistrate/civil court clerk's office and file papers against them as it's deprivation of parking spots that you and everyone else are entitled to via your rent per month.

nihilist
22nd August 08, 05:56 PM
Why not just take the law into your own hands?

Steve
22nd August 08, 09:11 PM
Miracle of miracles, the cars are now all parked properly in the car park!

WarPhalange
22nd August 08, 09:50 PM
You know what that means, right? It's your turn to be the asshole.

Steve
22nd August 08, 10:06 PM
Ok, once night falls I'll be out there peeing on all his car's door handles.

WarPhalange
22nd August 08, 10:18 PM
No, I meant you have to park poorly in one of the spots. If you don't own a car, you have to go out and rent one and then park it poorly until someone decides to take over.

Steve
22nd August 08, 10:28 PM
Ah, I see. I do have a car but I would never want to be associated with that piss poor parker, so I avoid the lot on principle.

You'll have to settle for the peeing.

WarPhalange
22nd August 08, 10:36 PM
At least make sure it's smelly yellow dehydrated piss and not the clear watery kind.

Steve
22nd August 08, 10:38 PM
Hmmm, okay. I'll also be sure to buy some asparagus tomorrow and do this shit right.

Kiko
12th September 08, 06:19 AM
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00579/SNN1220A_682_579731a.jpg
Or do something like this.... more like have someone else do it.

Shawarma
13th September 08, 06:22 AM
YOU look French, Froggy.
http://funksatchel.com/images/chap.jpg

Kiko
13th September 08, 06:35 AM
It's from here... http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1677167.ece
You figure it out ;)

Kiko
13th September 08, 12:38 PM
If it was the French part, you wouldn't want to cut it out....

Shawarma
13th September 08, 03:10 PM
Your penor is fucking ugly? I can believe that.

Steve
13th September 08, 03:42 PM
Seen a lot of English dick, have you?

Shawarma
13th September 08, 03:48 PM
Only the kind of dicks that walk on two legs and have chavvy accents. Oh, and post-mortem as well.

Don't ask.

Halfrican
19th September 08, 10:43 PM
Ezekiel called, he wants his wheels back.

Steve
19th September 08, 10:45 PM
Get a new joke.

Kiko
30th March 09, 03:29 PM
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/parking.png

I thought it was worth the necromancy...

Kein Haar
2nd April 09, 11:45 AM
W/teh p3n0rz?

WarPhalange
2nd April 09, 10:38 PM
oEsYf1KMBl4

Steve
2nd April 09, 10:50 PM
Haw haw haw, womenz can'tz drivez (or parkz)!

Yiktin Voxbane
2nd April 09, 10:57 PM
Great find poopz .