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WarPhalange
25th June 08, 01:05 PM
Are you pissed that everybody proclaims a shitty musician as a God? I am. I'm talking about Zakk Wylde. What a fucking shitty player. Look at this horrible thing:

sFUbsFQiLBE

Why does it suck? Because it's just this lick played for 10 minutes:

reJSIZ3ugsE

G-Off
25th June 08, 02:21 PM
The guy that plays saxaphone for O.A.R. Least imaginative professional saxophone soloist I have EVER heard. Plus his tone is thin and whiny, but somehow everyone loves the band and thinks he's amazing.

Toby Christensen
25th June 08, 06:38 PM
Justin Timberlake/Madonna
Janet Jackson (but I would shag her and then ignore her text messages)
Ozzy Osbourne. They're not a bunch of charming rich eccentrics. Wake up everybody.

WarPhalange
25th June 08, 06:50 PM
Oh, forgot about Ozzy (which is weird because he introduces Zakk in my clip...)

Ozzy is shit. He never did anything for Black Sabbath besides act retarded. Iommi and Geezer wrote the songs and did the hard work. When the other vocalists, especially Dio, came to Sabbath it was like a breath of fresh air.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th June 08, 09:10 PM
Stevie Ray Vaughn. Corny ass white boy who made it big selling an emasculated Jimi Hendrix sound to rednecks that don't want to listen to a nigger. Then he released an adult contemporary album. What a hack. Same with John Mayer, only replace "redneck" with "old ladies".

All these fags that play slap+pop acoustic songs with lots of harmonics. Shit has no melody and generally sounds very samey.

Dimebag Darrel.

socratic
25th June 08, 09:49 PM
Oh, forgot about Ozzy (which is weird because he introduces Zakk in my clip...)

Ozzy is shit. He never did anything for Black Sabbath besides act retarded. Iommi and Geezer wrote the songs and did the hard work. When the other vocalists, especially Dio, came to Sabbath it was like a breath of fresh air.
Practically all the Sabbath classics were sung by Ozzy, by default making the best lineup the one with Ozzy. Iron Man, NIB, Paranoid, Faeries Wear Boots, Children of the Grave, etc etc, were all stone cold classics, and as far as I know were all with Ozzy.

Besides, the retardedness came after Sabbath because of the shitloads of drugs he and the rest of Sabbath did. You hear their anecdotes and they were all off their heads.

I have no idea why people like Bon Jovi, or even Guns and Roses for that matter. They're both shithouse, their songs are wanky crapfests and their hair sucks.

G-Off
25th June 08, 11:08 PM
Stevie Ray Vaughn. Corny ass white boy who made it big selling an emasculated Jimi Hendrix sound to rednecks that don't want to listen to a nigger. Then he released an adult contemporary album. What a hack. Same with John Mayer, only replace "redneck" with "old ladies".

This is why I will always hate Elvis.

Toby Christensen
25th June 08, 11:13 PM
The trio B*Witched who released "Rollercoaster of Love" and then disappeared from public view. I will look out for them as keenly as I can if I stumble across some porn, but other than that they've had their day.

Oh and the Australian girl's group "Bardot", funny because it sounds the same as the Tibetan intermediate karmic assessment period of 49 days, providing my Tibetan friends with lulz.

WarPhalange
25th June 08, 11:13 PM
Elvis took it a step further and made all of his songs G-Rated while pretending to still be edgy.

Toby Christensen
25th June 08, 11:16 PM
Well we all KNOW Johnny Cash was better so let's just say so and be done with it. Mr "I collected an arsenal of guns for no reason and held my gf over a towering cliff and abused drugs until I died doing a shit" vs Mr "I DID have a gun, shot a man, regretted it and wrote a song. And have a picture of me giving the ups to the world."

No contest.

WarPhalange
25th June 08, 11:19 PM
Practically all the Sabbath classics were sung by Ozzy, by default making the best lineup the one with Ozzy. Iron Man, NIB, Paranoid, Faeries Wear Boots, Children of the Grave, etc etc, were all stone cold classics, and as far as I know were all with Ozzy.

Yeah, but they were classics because of the music, not the singing. The singing is very whiny. Imagine Dio singing those and they are all at least as good.


Besides, the retardedness came after Sabbath because of the shitloads of drugs he and the rest of Sabbath did.

No, I mean retardedness like biting heads off of animals for shock value. That's what he's known for. Not for any music.


Guns and Roses for that matter.

I've been listening to GnR lately and I have to say they are a solid rock band. I don't usually (almost never) listen to straight up hard rock, so maybe that's why, but whatever crap I hear on the radio is always power chord garbage. GnR at least have interesting rhythms with an audible bass.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
25th June 08, 11:22 PM
What's wrong with power chords?

nihilist
26th June 08, 12:08 AM
Yeah, but they were classics because of the music, not the singing. The singing is very whiny. Imagine Dio singing those and they are all at least as good.

Imagine Dio writing those melodies and lyrics.

Oh that's right you can't because Dio is not on that level and never was.



No, I mean retardedness like biting heads off of animals for shock value. That's what he's known for. Not for any music.

Wrong and wrong. Someone threw what Ozzy thought was a rubber bat onstage during a show. Thanks for perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors.


I've been listening to GnR lately and I have to say they are a solid rock band. I don't usually (almost never) listen to straight up hard rock, so maybe that's why, but whatever crap I hear on the radio is always power chord garbage. GnR at least have interesting rhythms with an audible bass.

GnR had one great album and one good album in them.
It was fun while it lasted.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 12:22 AM
I secretly enjoy a good portion of The White Stripes' material. I hope this doesn't hurt our relationship Poop Loops.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 12:23 AM
Imagine Dio writing those melodies and lyrics.

Oh that's right you can't because Dio is not on that level and never was.
What the fuck? Are you actually implying Ozzy had anything to do with writing them?



Wrong and wrong. Someone threw what Ozzy thought was a rubber bat onstage during a show. Thanks for perpetuating unsubstantiated rumors.
What about the dove?

http://www.voidz.net/faq.html

Did Ozzy Bite The head Off A Dove ??? Yes this also happened, it was during a executive conference at CBS Records. The idea, and I believe it was actually Sharon's idea ( his wife ) to walk into this board room and throw 3 white Doves into the air. Well Ozzy was drunk of course and ended up walking into the room throwing two of the Doves and biting the head of the third one.

Just stop.


GnR had one great album and one good album in them.
It was fun while it lasted.
I'd say 1 semi-great and 2 good.

nihilist
26th June 08, 12:43 AM
What the fuck? Are you actually implying Ozzy had anything to do with writing them?

Not all of them. He only gets writing credits and royalties for about 30 or 40 sabbath songs.




What about the dove?
The dove is one animal. you said he purposely bites the heads off ANIMALS for publicity. please complete your argument by documenting at least one more animal purposely eaten for publicity.
BTW, Sharon's idea? Nice going, Sharon, you manipulative twat.

bob
26th June 08, 12:46 AM
On the Elvis theme - Eminem. People continue to refer to him as pioneering something new. The only thing new about him is that he's not black.

Toby Christensen
26th June 08, 12:51 AM
And wiggas are SO late 1990's

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 01:15 AM
Not all of them. He only gets writing credits and royalties for about 30 or 40 sabbath songs.

Oh Jesus...


http://www.gibson.com/en-us/Lifestyle/Features/tonyiommionearlyblacksabb/

Did Ozzy participate in the writing process much?

You know, Ozzy is an interpreter; he breathes in the music and spits it out. And I think that’s his greatest gift; he’s just so incredible like that. A lot of times you would look at the lyric and go, “What the hell is this about? What are you writing here?” And that’s the truth of it. Ozzy is so imaginative and such an incredible translator. He’s very witty, a very bright person. That component fit my playing.

In other words: No.



The dove is one animal. you said he purposely bites the heads off ANIMALS for publicity. please complete your argument by documenting at least one more animal purposely eaten for publicity.
BTW, Sharon's idea? Nice going, Sharon, you manipulative twat.

I'm pretty sure he bites when he sucks his son's dick. How about that?

socratic
26th June 08, 02:09 AM
The Alamo-pissing thing was also partly Sharon's fault. She knicked his clothes so she did it in a dress. Lol!

Ozzy's style of singing is fucking catchy, and it works on all of the above listed songs. I'm really just not interested in Dio's work with Sabbath at all, because the really good songs were with Ozzy.

And speaking of contributing to the band, I'm pretty sure doing the whole 'singing' thing was a pretty good contribution, considering not many others have done much better.

Speaking of whiny fucking singing voices, Jesus christ, Axl Rose is king of whiney singing voices.

But hey, I'm glad no one contests that Bon Jovi sucks.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:30 AM
Geezer wrote most of the songs but suggesting that he could have been successful without Ward, Iommi and Osbourne shows a complete ignorance of the songwriting process in general and the intangible chemistry that makes a band more than the sum of it's parts in particular.

Ask yourself why Geezer punched a wall and broke his hand when your pretentious little queen Dio joined the band.

Ask yourself why the only successful person to come out of Sabbath was Ozzy.

Osnap.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:37 AM
Geezer wrote most of the songs but suggesting that he could have been successful without Ward, Iommi and Osbourne shows a complete ignorance of the songwriting process in general and the intangible chemistry that makes a band more than the sum of it's parts in particular.
Sure, I agree that a band is more than the sum of its parts. The problem was that Ozzy was the smallest part. He wrote a handful of lyrics and was there when the magic happened. Fuck, if I could get a job like that I'd be set.


Ask yourself why Geezer punched a wall and broke his hand when your pretentious little queen Dio joined the band.
He couldn't handle the awesome. He was just so stoked that Dio is so much better than Ozzy. Srsly.


Ask yourself why the only successful person to come out of Sabbath was Ozzy.
You can't be this stupid. Please post one of your shitty "LULZ I WAS TRULLIN LOL" posts.

HE WAS THE FRONTMAN. When do you ever see the bass player or drummer go off and suddenly become successful on his own? Guitarists do it sometimes, and Iommi actually did get some success doing it.


Osnap.
Right back at ya.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:40 AM
Where is Dio now?

Scrubbin toilets at the pornobooth?

b-but h-he wuz the FRONTMAN!

Osnap.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:42 AM
So if a man bangs your mother, that means ALL men bang your mother?

Osnap.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:42 AM
My apologies, it seems the illustrious Ronnie James is playing the bank Center in New Jersey.

LOL.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:45 AM
That's not much of a comeback for a "your mom's a whore" post.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:46 AM
HAY GUIZ LINKIN' PARK IS BETTER DEN DJANGO REINHARDT BECAUSE THEY ARE RICH AND FAMOUS AND HE IS DEAD LULZ THATS HOW IT WORKS

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:47 AM
No, seriously, the thread is "shitty musicians everybody likes but you" and you tell me "BUT EVERYBODY LIKES OZZY!!!" as an excuse for why he doesn't suck?

Get out.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:52 AM
Django didn't have the PR machine that stinkin pork had.

There are different ways of measuring success and talent and ozzy buttfucks ronyjaymes in all of them.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:54 AM
No, seriously, the thread is "shitty musicians everybody likes but you" and you tell me "BUT EVERYBODY LIKES OZZY!!!" as an excuse for why he doesn't suck?

Get out.
I thought you claimed that people didn't like Ozzy because all he did was bite animals and boypenis.

Get your story straight.

nihilist
26th June 08, 02:58 AM
Ozzy is shit. He never did anything for Black Sabbath besides act retarded. Iommi and Geezer wrote the songs and did the hard work. When the other vocalists, especially Dio, came to Sabbath it was like a breath of fresh air and the SOUND OF GEEZERS HANDBONES SNAPPING AGAINST OAK

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 03:04 AM
There are different ways of measuring success and talent and ozzy buttfucks ronyjaymes in all of them.

Ozzy can't sing for shit and barely wrote any material. What talent are you speaking of?

V2xghBYInNg



I thought you claimed that people didn't like Ozzy because all he did was bite animals and boypenis.

Get your story straight.

Stop being such a fucking idiot Reese. I said I don't like him because that's all he does. Other people love him because he's popular. And they started loving him because Black Sabbath had awesome songs, except for the shitty vocalist.

nihilist
26th June 08, 03:10 AM
They don't love him because he's popular, they love him because he is an amazing vocalist that will be remembered long after he is dead and long after ronnyjaymz is forgotten.

It's called staying power and all great musicians have it.

Dio. IRL he is a snobby little bitch. FYI.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 03:12 AM
they love him because he is an amazing vocalist

So now you're trolling?

nihilist
26th June 08, 03:26 AM
If I never heard another Dio song in my lifetime that would be just fine by me.

nihilist
26th June 08, 03:31 AM
Jesus fucking Christ what a little queen.

VJRb4iCgRWw

He completely ruined a once unique and beautiful song.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 05:22 AM
Django didn't have the PR machine that stinkin pork had.

No, his band was the act to see in Europe and he was a sexy rebellious rockstar during WW2. He was mildly successful in America and during his tour with Duke Ellington was well received by fans and critics, but never really took off over here.

Toby Christensen
26th June 08, 05:30 AM
Frank Sinatra nearly got murdered in Australia apparently. I mean, I KNOW he was rude to people, but shit a brick...

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 05:49 AM
Couldn't handle that much awesome on your continent at once?

Toby Christensen
26th June 08, 05:56 AM
No apparently he treated everyone like such shit that all supplies and amenities were cut off to his motel.

He demanded the Unions resume services. They refused.
He threatened gangsters from Chicago, until it was pointed out they were outnumbered on home turf so he went home in a sulk.

And he picked on George Burns. What kind of a sick mind does THAT?!

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 06:08 AM
I don't know, we pick on you.

Toby Christensen
26th June 08, 06:26 AM
Yes, but I'm smarter and prettier than my critics. And a bastard in actual brawling.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 07:23 AM
Sorry, I don't think you're prettier than I am.

socratic
26th June 08, 08:47 AM
Jesus fucking Christ what a little queen.

VJRb4iCgRWw

He completely ruined a once unique and beautiful song.

Wow, that fucking sucked. Dio couldn't have missed the point more if he was trying.

Hint: Paranoid isn't about RAARRRR METAL!

nihilist
26th June 08, 09:03 AM
No, his band was the act to see in Europe and he was a sexy rebellious rockstar during WW2. He was mildly successful in America and during his tour with Duke Ellington was well received by fans and critics, but never really took off over here.


How does what you just stated have any thing at all to do with would could be loosely defined as a PR machine?

Django does not need defending anyway.

nihilist
26th June 08, 09:06 AM
No apparently he treated everyone like such shit that all supplies and amenities were cut off to his motel.

He demanded the Unions resume services. They refused.
He threatened gangsters from Chicago, until it was pointed out they were outnumbered on home turf so he went home in a sulk.

And he picked on George Burns. What kind of a sick mind does THAT?!



What kind of sick minds deny Frank Sinatra hot towels?

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
26th June 08, 09:20 AM
How does what you just stated have any thing at all to do with would could be loosely defined as a PR machine?

The QHCF was, to some degree, a manufactured act attempting to capitalize on the popularity of American music in Europe. They probably had full creative leeway, though.


Django does not need defending anyway.

I suppose not. His later recordings are highly underappreciated, though his final release had a limpwristed, almost smooth jazz sound and he was playing in front of a bunch of mediocre surrender monkeys.

Cullion
26th June 08, 01:59 PM
Elvis took it a step further and made all of his songs G-Rated while pretending to still be edgy.

Jailhouse Rock is about being queer in jail.

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 02:38 PM
Jailhouse Rock is about being queer in jail.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jailhouse_Rock_(song)

As noted by Rolling Stone magazine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolling_Stone_magazine) (which later ranked the song #67 on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/500_Greatest_Songs_of_All_Time)), there are parts of the lyrics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyrics) that may represent talk about homosexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual) relationships between inmates:
"Number forty-seven said to number three"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see"I sure would be delighted with your company"Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me". On the other hand, many see this as a lighthearted reference to forced environmental improvisation, as reflected in the next verse:
"Sad Sack was sittin on a block of stone"Way over in the corner weepin' all alone."The warden said, hey, buddy, don't you be no square."If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair". After all:
"Everybody in the whole cellblock, was dancing to the jailhouse rock".If there was anything remotely non-G-rated, it's not Elvis's fault.

After all, Hound Dog was originally about a shitty husband. Now it's about a dog.

mrblackmagic
26th June 08, 03:03 PM
I'm just going to say Kanye West.

How does rhyming a word with itself 6 times in a row and then making the lyrics to hit songs sound like the Chipmunks qualify you as a great artist and cultural icon?

WarPhalange
26th June 08, 06:43 PM
You just don't care about black people.

nihilist
27th June 08, 12:06 AM
This has to be my favorite all time greatest Dio performance.
mhTTLvsOUi4

Toby Christensen
27th June 08, 12:08 AM
Oh fucking no...

It's a good thing I hate Harry Potter.

nihilist
27th June 08, 12:12 AM
That's a boy scout.

Harry Potter is a boy wizard.

Toby Christensen
27th June 08, 12:14 AM
A boy scout runs into a deformed gnome?

Trippy!

nihilist
27th June 08, 01:39 AM
You are just one genetic mutation away from being a deformed gnome.

Wait, why did that sound so familiar...

Steve
27th June 08, 01:44 AM
I'm just going to say Kanye West.

How does rhyming a word with itself 6 times in a row and then making the lyrics to hit songs sound like the Chipmunks qualify you as a great artist and cultural icon?

*cough*eminem*cough*

WarPhalange
27th June 08, 02:00 AM
qGngb7X6xuk

Why the fuck is his voice alway so god damn whiny? It ruins the songs.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
27th June 08, 03:19 AM
hey guys
3Z8i4pGH2ZI
am i jimi hendrix yet?

socratic
27th June 08, 04:31 AM
Why the fuck is his voice alway so god damn whiny? It ruins the songs.

Obvious: Because that's how Ozzy Osbourne sounds?

I think his voice really works with their music, especially on Paranoid. He actually sounds like someone who's depressed, rather than Dio, who's all RARRR.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
27th June 08, 04:35 AM
if it's any consolation I don't like either singer.

bob
27th June 08, 04:49 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jailhouse_Rock_(song)

As noted by Rolling Stone magazine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolling_Stone_magazine) (which later ranked the song #67 on their list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/500_Greatest_Songs_of_All_Time)), there are parts of the lyrics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyrics) that may represent talk about homosexual (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual) relationships between inmates:
"Number forty-seven said to number three"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see"I sure would be delighted with your company"Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me". On the other hand, many see this as a lighthearted reference to forced environmental improvisation, as reflected in the next verse:
"Sad Sack was sittin on a block of stone"Way over in the corner weepin' all alone."The warden said, hey, buddy, don't you be no square."If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair". After all:
"Everybody in the whole cellblock, was dancing to the jailhouse rock".If there was anything remotely non-G-rated, it's not Elvis's fault.

After all, Hound Dog was originally about a shitty husband. Now it's about a dog.

The word 'punk' originally meant 'prison bitch' or 'one who is forced to give out sexual favours to his fellow inmates'. It was appropriated ironically by the early punk bands. The fashion of having jeans ripped at the knee derived from the punk's repeatedly finding himself on his knees (or hands and knees) to bestow said favours.

Sharing this information with punk friends guarantees epic lulz.