PDA

View Full Version : I am going to spoil I Am Legend because it isn't worth seeing.



MEGA JESUS-SAMA
16th December 07, 05:04 AM
His wife and daughter die in a helicopter crash. Dog gets infected and he strangles it. He dies in a fiery explosion. Some chick that's introduced as a deus ex machina and some kid who contributed nothing to the movie find a survivor colony. The end.

I Am Legend is the same movie as I, Robot, right down to the product placement, except now the robots are super zombies and they hate sunlight. The plot reads as what if... what if.... what if... what if...

What if one of the >1% of mankind immune to zombieitus is also a brilliant scientist? What if he's able to fortify a house and install a non-trivial laboratory into the basement? What if when capturing a specimen to study he's observed by General Zomboleon Bonaparte? What if he's caught in the same trap by Zomboleon, but he wakes up an escapes from it just before sundown, except not really because Zomboleon releases zombie dogs but that's okay because his dog saves him but it's not okay because she becomes infected and he has to strangle the poor thing then when he tried to commit suicide in a blaze of zombie killing glory he's saved by one of the few survivors and some kid but oops they don't cover up the trail of his blood and the zombies find their way to his house and attack and the kid's only line in the movie alerts a zombie that Smith's character has to kill which calls out to the other zombies who storm in through the hole said zombie had enough time to rip into the ceiling and they're in the laboratory but the zombies burst in but oh wait that human specimen has been cured get a blood sample now the woman and the child hide in a little bunker while Will Smith sacrifices himself and they make it to the colony with the blood to find a cure.

I'm being too hard on the movie. The first chunk was pretty good, up until the girl and the kid show up. Then suddenly it's YOU'RE NOT ALONE and NO WOMAN THE WORLD IS OVER and IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT. The movie lulls you into a false sense of security that you might see a decent action flick, then Jesus comes in and ruins everything. The movie's only artistic merit is that they could so craftily slip corporate logos into every four or five frames.

Watch the first part, then ditch it and sneak into a different movie.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
16th December 07, 05:09 AM
that's a lot shorter with spoiler tags

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
16th December 07, 05:28 AM
What really irked me is that Zomboleon Bonaparte is the Lex Luthor to Will Smith's Superman, but never gets his comeuppance. He spends the entire movie being a dick, killing his dog, getting him shanked, and writing "FUCK NIGGERS" all over his car, but we don't even see his specific death. No being crushed by his own doomsday mecha, no being fried by his evil space lasers, no being baby-fied by his dastardly baby ray.

DerAuslander108
16th December 07, 01:35 PM
You never read the book, did you?

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
16th December 07, 02:50 PM
The movie isn't good, what difference would it make?

DerAuslander108
16th December 07, 02:58 PM
The movie was better than anything you've ever posted.

Neildo
16th December 07, 03:10 PM
i saw some car show on TV and they were talking about all the work they had to do to modify some ugly new mustang to jump out a window. i think they probably spent more on hydraulic shocks and reinforced struts than the whole POS car is worth.

that's when i knew this movie would be crap.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
16th December 07, 03:36 PM
The movie was better than anything you've ever posted.

So are you going to enlighten me or are you going to go eat a dick?

WarPhalange
16th December 07, 04:07 PM
Apparently the book ends differently.

After the vampires catch him and put him on trial, they decide that HE is the monster because he went around killing all of the vampires. Since he's the only human left and the rest are vampires, nobody gives a shit about him and he ends up dying.

Question!
16th December 07, 06:09 PM
Pretty good movie, I agree the last third of the movie dragged it down. It would have been MUCH better if they had stuck to the book.

DerAuslander108
16th December 07, 07:15 PM
The ending was definitely much more optomistic rather than the "depressing" ending of the book, very much changed the "I am legend" statement that is the last line of the book.

I almost wonder if they actually filmed or planned to film an ending more in line with the book, because the build-up to the ending continued to indicate that everything was going on as the book outlined, right until the point where the butterflies started showing up.

ironlurker
16th December 07, 07:45 PM
Good to know. I had heard rumors it got schmaltzy.

Question!
16th December 07, 09:00 PM
I almost wonder if they actually filmed or planned to film an ending more in line with the book, because the build-up to the ending continued to indicate that everything was going on as the book outlined, right until the point where the butterflies started showing up.

I think in order to stick more closely to the book, more than the ending would have had to be changed,

The beginning and middle would have had to show him going around killing mutants when they were asleep, being a legitimate threat, not just capturing a few dozen with traps and fleeing. Also, the mutants would have had to be able to speak and communicate with him.

kismasher
17th December 07, 03:27 PM
well, i didn't particularly care for either the book or the movie.

DerAuslander108
18th December 07, 12:26 AM
I think in order to stick more closely to the book, more than the ending would have had to be changed,

The beginning and middle would have had to show him going around killing mutants when they were asleep, being a legitimate threat, not just capturing a few dozen with traps and fleeing. Also, the mutants would have had to be able to speak and communicate with him.

Yes, however, the actions of the mutants which contradict his comment that they have completely devolved from humanity point to an ending more in line with the book, and truthfully don't fit the plot otherwise.

The who trap setting thing only makes sense if the book ending was intended.

Also...Anna's inability to recognize Bob Marley...come on...a chick who been on a ship in the Caribbean doesn't know Bob?!?

kick
18th December 07, 02:52 AM
I sure hope this movie doesn't suck as you have indicated, I read the book about 15 years ago and loved it.

This is the first movie that I have been going to see at the movies as opposed to waiting until it doesn't come out on DVD.

It isn't released in Australia until 3rd of January 2008 so I have to wait, now I am thinking that I will wait until it comes out on DVD. Damn.

Shawarma
18th December 07, 07:01 AM
I'd never heard of this movie before this thread, but if, as these posts seem to indicate, the movie's about Bob Marley slaying vampires and mutants, I fail to see how anyone could give it less than a perfect score.

mrblackmagic
18th December 07, 09:15 AM
Not far removed. The Last ten or fifteen minutes of the movie ruined everything they built up to that point. More so the last five minutes. I generally try to avoid Will Smith movies for this reason. The only reason I went was to see the Dark Knight trailer.

kismasher
18th December 07, 11:03 AM
Dark Knight trailer.

WIN.

DerAuslander108
18th December 07, 05:24 PM
I seriously wonder if they filmed a different ending closer to the book, & the DERHORRYWOOD stepped in and said, no, we want the happy.

EDIT: A quick google search confirms that they completely refilmed the ending and other scenes, so it sounds like they had originally filmed it closer to the original. Rewatching some of the older previews, you can see footage from scenes that definitely didn't make the movie.

Neildo
19th December 07, 01:23 PM
I'm waiting for the alternate ending dvd release then, so i can download that instead.

kick
20th December 07, 05:14 PM
I'm waiting for the alternate ending dvd release then, so i can download that instead.

Me too now, better alternate ending makes me happy.

Matt W.
20th December 07, 05:54 PM
The real question is, how did it compare to Omega Man with Charlton Heston?

Neildo
21st December 07, 04:39 AM
downloaded it. it's a'ight. i wouldn't pay money for it though.

DerAuslander108
21st December 07, 07:26 PM
Omega Man is one of the shittiest movies ever made, and hurts if you've ever read "I Am Legend".

Shawarma
9th January 08, 11:52 AM
For anyone interested, here is the original movie based on the book I Am Legend. It's called The Last Man On Earth, it's from 1964 and it's free to watch here.

http://bmovies.com/movie_page.php?id=130

Not very impressed by it, frankly.

kick
12th May 08, 02:05 AM
I sure hope this movie doesn't suck as you have indicated, I read the book about 15 years ago and loved it.

This is the first movie that I have been going to see at the movies as opposed to waiting until it doesn't come out on DVD.

It isn't released in Australia until 3rd of January 2008 so I have to wait, now I am thinking that I will wait until it comes out on DVD. Damn.

Well, I didn't go to the Cinemas thank MJS for that, it just came out on DVD, I watched it and it sucked, and badly.

And disappointment of disappointments there were no alternate endings special features on the DVD.

It was like an American Producer watched 28 days later (which was awesome) and said hey that's cool, lets make that movie but in the US instead of the UK, but we will call it I am legend.

And the vampires looked like Zombies and couldn't even talk.

So so very disapointed.

At least I didn't see it at the movies.

socratic
12th May 08, 02:49 AM
Well, I didn't go to the Cinemas thank MJS for that, it just came out on DVD, I watched it and it sucked, and badly.

And disappointment of disappointments there were no alternate endings special features on the DVD.

It was like an American Producer watched 28 days later (which was awesome) and said hey that's cool, lets make that movie but in the US instead of the UK, but we will call it I am legend.

And the vampires looked like Zombies and couldn't even talk.

So so very disapointed.

At least I didn't see it at the movies.

You haven't seen 28 Weeks Later, have you? Replace 99% of the all-British cast with Americans, take out all the subtlety, add about six times as much eyegouging, and you have 28 Weeks Later, thank-you-Hollywood.

I actually enjoyed I Am Legend for the most part. The girl and the kid were completely annoying, I'll agree, and they really ruined a lot of the starker elements of the film. Such as, you know, he's the last man on earth and the only thing keeping him going is his mission to find a cure, and oh shit, he just had to kill the only other living thing he had left to love. The whole point of the film went out the window when just after "EVERYONE'S DEAD, BITCH! EVERYONE!" it turns out everyone isn't dead, and everything's sorta happy after all.

And they ate his fucking bacon, man. You don't do that. He was saving that bacon.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
12th May 08, 03:50 AM
The movie came so close. First Fred betrays him and he has to kill his dog and he's about to fuck shit up and it's looking like it'll be an intense film.

Then they add the girl and the kid and it pretty much sucks from then on.