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jubei33
1st October 07, 07:26 AM
Saw it on TV last night.....Looked like she had a case of full blown AIDS.... most ridiculous movie I've ever seen.

Shawarma
1st October 07, 01:06 PM
Transporter 1 was excellent. 2 was so bad it should have been at least number 5 or 6 down the line of sequels.

syberia
1st October 07, 06:22 PM
I loved 1, and 2 was ok. They're good shamless action films if you just want a dose of things blowing up and people shooting each other/ fighting.
I watched number two with a friend once, who isn't an action fan and at the end of the film she looked at me and honestly said "So... What was that even about?"

SpringHeeledJack
1st October 07, 06:32 PM
I couldn't even make it through the first one. I can't even imagine how awful the second one is if it's worse than the giant piece of crap that first is.

jubei33
1st October 07, 08:38 PM
the funniest thing is he's like a cheaufuer in this one, but he's got rules.

It might as well be like The train conductor: "what's the first thing you do before getting on a man's train? respect him yo!

There you go, they could make a whole slew of The commuter films. -- Good, hard-assed commuters just tryin' to make it to work on time.

Neildo
2nd October 07, 02:48 AM
ratatatatatatVROOOOMka-BOOOM


fuck you haters

jubei33
2nd October 07, 07:32 AM
yeah? but it was brilliant how he used the crane to pull the 'plan B' bomb off the bottom of his car. Way to one up the hazzard boys.

Neildo
2nd October 07, 01:41 PM
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

jubei33
3rd October 07, 03:10 AM
yeah, think you're right, maybe the movie would've been better with banjos and moon shine

JimmyTheHutt
3rd October 07, 02:21 PM
All that needs be said about Transporter 2 can be found here (http://www.atomictoy.org/movies/). Read through them all.

Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt

Yiktin Voxbane
3rd October 07, 07:26 PM
The Transporter 2: Ever More Transporter!
The Bold Tale of why you should probably buy an audi

PHYSICS: I AM NOT IN THIS MOVIE
OPENING CREDITS: BEHOLD! AN AUDI!
TRANSPORTER: *SCOWL*
RANDOM SCHOOLGIRL HOOTCH: DUDE GET OUT OF THAT SWEET AUDI OR I SHOOT YOU
TANSPORTER: *SCOWLS HARDER*
THUGS: HA HA YOUR AUDI IS OURS, UH, DAWG
** Transporter dispenses beatings **
TRANSPORTER: WELL OFF TO SCHOOL
KID: SUP TRANSPORTER LETS HAVE SOME STERN BUT ENDERING BANTER AS YOU DRIVE ME THROUGH A MONTAGE OF MIAMI
TRANSPORTER: *LOVINGLY SCOWLS*
KID: :D
KIDS PARENTS: WE ARE FIGHTING ON OUR FRONT LAWN
TRANSPORTER: I WILL SAVE YOU KID BY PULLING AWAY SO YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR PARENTS YELLING AT EACHOTHER
MOM: SUP TRANSPORTER THANKS FOR WHATEVER HEY WANNA HEAR ABOUT ALL MY PROBLEMS
TRANSPORTER: *SCOWLS LUSTILY*
DAD: HEY WIFE STOP FLIRTING WITH THAT AUDI I WANT TO YELL AT YOU SOME MORE
MOM: LATER TRANSPORTER - OH HEY TAKE MY KID TO THE DOCTOR TOMMOROW
SPIES: WE HEARD THAT
** meanwhile the villian beats up some dudes in samurai armor **
VILLIAN: BWAH HA HA VIRUS
SHE-HENCH: YES ALSO BWAH HA HA
** The Transporter goes home and orders a pizza! **
TRANSPORTER: MY REFRIDGERATOR IS SPONSORED BY HEINIKEN
MOM: HEY HI TRANSPORTER I THINK YOU SHOULD TRANSPORT ME *WIIIIINNNKKKKKK*
TRANSPORTER: DUDE LADY HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING *SCOWLS*
MOM: LOL YES
TRANSPORTER: WELL YOU SHOULD DRIVE HOME THEN
MOM: OKAY LATER TRANSPORTER
** later, at the doctors office **
SHE-HENCH: I KILL YOU DOCTORS... IN MY UNDERWEAR!
** the transporter transports the kid to the doctors!! **
KID: FUCK DUDE, I DON;T WANT TO GET A SHOT
TRANSPORTER: DUDE I PROMISE I WILL NEVER DIE OR LET ANYONE HURT YOU EVER FOREVER
KID: K
TRANSPORTER: OH SHIT THAT NURSE HAS A TATOO SHE IS NO NURSE AT ALL
SHE-HENCH: *UNDERWEAR, MACHINE GUNS, ETC*
TRANSPORTER: LETS GET OUT OF HERE KID
SHE-HENCH: DAMN WE DID NOT GET TO INJECT THE KID WITH MT. DEW VIRUS
OTHER HENCH DUDE: IT'S COOL I PLANTED THE BIGGEST HUGEST CAR BOMB EVER ON THAT SWEET ASS AUDI OH MAN WHAT A CAR
** THEY ESCAPE AND GO HOME! **
TRANSPORTER: O SHIT SNIPER IS POINTING A GUN AT KIDS HEAD *SCOWL!*
SHE HENCH: HAHA WE HAVE U NOW TRANSPORTER AND ALSO KID
MOM: WTF
TRANSPORTER: TIME FOR SOME ACTION DRIVING *SSSCCCOOWWLLLL* *VROOM*
** so there is a car chase and shit and the audi plows through all this shit including a concrete wall without a scratch **
VILLAIN: WELL DONE TRASNPORTER WELLCOME TO MY EVIL BASE NOW GO AWAY SO WE CAN BLOW YOU UP WITH THAT CAR BOMB
TRANSPORTER: THE SENSABLE THING WOULD BE TO DRIVE AWAY AND THEN BAIL OUT OF THE CAR BUT HOW ABOUT INSTED I DRIVE UP THIS RAMP, DO A 360 BARREL ROLL AND USE THAT LOW HANGING CRANE TO KNOCK THE HUGE CARBOMB OFF MY CAR. YEAH THAT WOULDN'T BE STUPID AND IN FACT VERY COOL
** he does that and it is stupid **
TRANSPORTER: TRANSPORTER TO MILF COME IN MILF
MOM: DUDE TRANSPORTER EVERYONE HATES YOU NOW
TRANSPORTER: *SCOWL*
FRENCH COP DUDE: ALLO TRANSPORTUER I WAS IN ZE FIRST MOVIE! I AM AT YOUR HOUSE CHOOKING OH NO SWAT PEOPLES ARRESTING ME
TRANSPORTER: DON;T WORRY YOU CAN USE THE POLICE COMPUTERS TO ADVANCE THE PLOT CONVIENTLY WHENEVER I NEED YOU TO
FRENCH COP DUDE: OUI
** MEANWHILE IT IS RANSOM TIME **
DAD: OKAY I PAID YOUR RANSOM GIVE ME MY SONNNNNN
VILLIAN: K HE IS IN A TRUCK OR SOMETHING
MOM: IT IS GOD TO HAVE YOU BACK SON I HOPE THEY DID NOT INJECT YOU WITH A VIRUS
KID: COUGH COUGH
MOM: YEAH YOU SEEM FINE
**the Trasnporter does a bunch of crap that uncovers the fiendish plot that the kid is like a virus bomb and infecting everyone**
MOM: FUCK NOW EVERONE IS DYING
TRANSPORTER: SCOWL!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY FRENCH DUDE USE THAT COMPUTER TO FIND THE VILLAIN'S HIDEOUT
FRENCH DUDE: OUI - ZUT ALLURES I AM DISCOVERED IT IS ALL UP TO YOU TRANSPORTER
** transporter goes to the hideout **
GANG OF DUDES WITH AXES AND SWORDS: WE ARE GOING TO NOT BE ALBE TO HIT YOU EVEN THOUGH THERE IS LIKE 12 OF US RIGHT
TRASPORTER: NO
GAMG OF DUDES WITH GUNS: OK OUR TURN
TRANSPORTER: THIS FIRE HOSE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU POW POW POW
VILLIAN: WELL DONE TRASPORTER BUT I PUT ALL THE ANTIDOTE IN MY BLOOD!
TRANSPORTER: WAIT WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS
VILLAIN: YOU MAY HAVE BATTLED ALL MY THUGS, BUT TO YOU HAVE ENOUGH HP LEFT TO DEFEAT THE SUB-BOSS?
SHE-HENCH: RAWR
VILLIAN: BWA HA HA HA *ESCAPES*
TRANSPORTER: PROTIP: THROW THE SHE-HENCH INTO A WALL OF SPIKES (?) FOR AN EASY WIN!
** Transporter steals a car that is faster than time **
VILLAN: WELL I CAN REST EASY NOW THAT I AM ON MY PRIVATE JET AND ESCAPTING - OH SHIT TRANSPORTER!
TRASNPORTER: YEAH I CLIMBED IN THROUGH THE WHEEL WELL (!!!???) BTW YOUR SUPER POORLY CGI'D PLANE LOOKS LIKE PS2 SHIT
** there is a big fight and teh pilot gets shot and dies and they crash into the ocean but the tranporter wins becasue he jumped away from the crash(!!??!?!?!?!??!!????)
**
TRANPORTER: WELL I SAVED EVERYONE *SCOWLS AT HINTS OF A SEQUAL*
THE END

Yiktin Voxbane
3rd October 07, 07:27 PM
Gold !

Funny site .

JimmyTheHutt
4th October 07, 09:37 AM
Gold !

Funny site .

The MoviePuke stuff is funny. If you hate DragonBall Z, you need to read all of the ButtLord stuff. If you hate Japanese Fantasy Anime or RPGs, read OMFE. Honestly, I wish the guys there produced stuff on a more regular basis.

The stuff on King Kong just killed me.

Veritas et Lux!
Jimmy The Hutt