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GTBurns
6th August 07, 04:35 PM
I thought I would start a dicussion of examples you can come up with of really bad martial arts on TV and film. These two examples are not as much mad MA skills on the screen, but just rather just bad TV.

First example was TNT's special World Masters of Martial Arts hosted by Wesley Snipes. This award show that was a asskissing fest for stars of several B-grade Cinemax kung-fu films. They had a few bonafide masters and film legends like jackie Chan surrounded by B-Grade actors such as Cynthia Rothrock. Credentials aside, this show was just BAD TV. They had a segment of George "Sulu" Takai narrating several MA styles, each style was compared to a specific movie star. Then Sulu mentioned BILLY JACK, at that moment I was expecting to hear Sulu talk about Gymkata. This show was perceded by a marathon of B-grade Kung Fu films. This was all on TNT, the network that dares to show Theodore Rex.

WMAC Masters this was a kiddy show in Sat mornings that ran for 2 seasons, hosted by Shannon Lee. This was a show about marital arts masters who are all in their 20's competeting for mystical Emblem of the Dragon. They fought *gasp* NINJAS!

These competitions were LARP fests that happen in "battlezones", special enviroments like Mayan Jungle Ruins, the San Fran Subway, Nuclear Power Plant etc. where they wore spirit masks and fought ninjas. In season two Shannon Lee was canned and the show went even further down the fantasy. The show was cancelled after season 2 because it sucked and the action figures can still be found at closeout stores everywhere.

Question!
6th August 07, 05:56 PM
Any chick crescent kicking the gun out of someone's hand.

GTBurns
6th August 07, 06:21 PM
All TV and FILM is BULLSHIT! Remember Stage/Screen fighting is not real fighting. The sword skills and techinques you see in a swashbuckling movie will get you killed in a real fight. Still that WMAC show was pure crap that fortunately did nto last long.

WarPhalange
6th August 07, 06:46 PM
All TV and FILM is BULLSHIT! Remember Stage/Screen fighting is not real fighting. The sword skills and techinques you see in a swashbuckling movie will get you killed in a real fight. Still that WMAC show was pure crap that fortunately did nto last long.

http://markramsey.com/wp-content/captain.obvious.jpg

Mister X
6th August 07, 07:10 PM
WMAC was still better than that crap fest that was Power Rangers.

Steve
6th August 07, 07:15 PM
All TV and FILM is BULLSHIT! Remember Stage/Screen fighting is not real fighting. The sword skills and techinques you see in a swashbuckling movie will get you killed in a real fight. Still that WMAC show was pure crap that fortunately did nto last long.

LOL, are you serious?

Iscariot
6th August 07, 07:21 PM
All TV and FILM is BULLSHIT! Remember Stage/Screen fighting is not real fighting. The sword skills and techinques you see in a swashbuckling movie will get you killed in a real fight. Still that WMAC show was pure crap that fortunately did nto last long.
Can I make you look really stupid by pointing out the realistic ones?

GTBurns
6th August 07, 07:59 PM
How many times have I seen a gun knocked out of some badguy's had with a crescent kick. There needs to be a bad martial arts movie moves drinking game.
If there is not one already.

Other bullshit i have seen is Ninja's with Nunchaku, "NUN-CHUCKS" are a 20th century invention, real ninjas did not use them. Although their origin is heavily disputed. As a weapon the modern nunchaku are ineffective as a flail or as a weapon in Feudal Japan. Even today, traditional authentic Ninjutisu does not use the nunchaku as it was a useles weapon for a group of mercenary warriors
whose main skill was steath such as spying, assination, and theft.

Power rangers was crap, but Big Bad BeetleBorgs was far worse, a bunch of kids getting powers from the ghost of Liberace in a haunted house or some shit. I still do not remember the cracked out premise of that show. I am just grateful that Saban did not have his way and get that live action sailor moon made.

If you haven't seen that video of the promo trailer of the Saban Moon Nightmare, it is like the matrix, you have to be shown it.

emboesso
6th August 07, 08:00 PM
The sword skills and techinques you see in a swashbuckling movie will get you killed in a real fight.

I think the definitive swashbuckling sword fights were Errol Flynn vs. Basil Rathbone. IIRC, they were trained, coached, and choreographed by an Olympic fencer, who continued to coach Olympians well into his 90s.

Not that I know ooon-gotz about fencing, but I've always been under the impression those fight scenes were technically sound.

EDIT: Iscariot, as a long as you offered, could you cite a few realistic sword fight scenes? Or were you just talking about fight scenes in general?

I kind of liked Richard Gere vs. Ben Cross in "First Knight", and Mel Gibson vs. Nathaniel Parker in "Hamlet."

GTBurns
6th August 07, 08:33 PM
Errol Flyn movies are probably far more closer to authentic than more current stuff as there is less swordfight films being made. Most action films these days are dudes spraying bullets everywhere.

There are some demand now for those skills with the pirate films and post LOTR fantasy genre boom.

As a person who carries a BS in film Studies, first rule in film fights is: It has to look COOL.

Gezere
6th August 07, 08:56 PM
WMAC Masters this was a kiddy show in Sat mornings that ran for 2 seasons, hosted by Shannon Lee. This was a show about marital arts masters who are all in their 20's competeting for mystical Emblem of the Dragon. They fought *gasp* NINJAS!

I thought the show was cheesy as hell but I watched it if it was on.
Some of them were in their 20s but the more well known ones, at the time, were in their 30s.

Going back a bit farther for cheesy MA TV shows you got:

The Master. A classic. Lee Van Clief doing a jumping sidekick over a helicopter, nuf said.

Street Justice. Carl Weathers and Bryan Genesse. Plot was something like Carl was a cop and Bryan was a kid who saved him in Vietnam and later becomes a MA badass to help him with cases.

And one of my favorite shows...........

SIDEKICKS!!!! No not the movie with Chuck Noriss and Jon Brandis. This one stared lil Ernie Reyes Jr as THE LAST ELECTRIC KNIGHT! A cop with a kid MA superbadass who helped him solve cases.

Iscariot
6th August 07, 09:12 PM
As a person who carries a BS in film Studies, first rule in film fights is: It has to look COOL.
A BS in Film Studies? Really? Do go on.

Neildo
6th August 07, 10:18 PM
Martial Law.

Question!
6th August 07, 10:31 PM
GTBurns first post said he wanted to discuss really bad martial arts examples.

His next post was EVERYTHING IS BULLSHIT!!!1

WTF?

bad credit
7th August 07, 03:30 AM
Gawdamnit, I loved Street Justice when it was on. Holy crap, Asia, I thought I was the only person who remembered it. I went looking for it on DVD on the internet not too long ago, and it hasn't been released in a boxed set. It may never. I rarely got to see it when it was originally on because my parent's said it was too "violent" and had guns in it. Fuck I hate them.

Does anybody remember Black Sash that was the WB a couple of years ago? It was about Russell Wong teaching a bunch of Dawson's Creek style teens Bagua while bounty hunting on the side. While it had some cheesy fights and melodrama, it had great philosophy, like the original Kung Fu show. WB fucked it up, too. They only made 6 episodes, then waited to show 5 of those a year later after all the stars had moved on to other stuff. The first ep. got the highest ratings on TV that night, the second and third did ok, and then they changed the time slot and the ratings went in the crapper.

Gezere
7th August 07, 05:20 AM
Street Justice and Super Force used to come on back to back and would watch both.

I only saw two episodes of Black Sash but I liked what I saw. I really liked the Vanishing Son movies. The TV series wasn't as good but the made for TV movies, which also spawned Hercules, well done.

emboesso
7th August 07, 07:30 AM
As a person who carries a BS in film Studies, first rule in film fights is: It has to look COOL.

OK, gotcha. I thought the theme of this thread was a lot narrower than it apparently is.

To avoid future burst bubbles, do not speak to cops, doctors, gangsters, cowboys, etc., about how realisitically they are depicted on screen. And for heaven's sake, do NOT emulate porno movies. Women do not actually beg you to shoot a load all over their faces and sigh with delight after you do so. To the contary, it can actually have very negative results.

Gezere
7th August 07, 09:50 AM
And for heaven's sake, do NOT emulate porno movies. Women do not actually beg you to shoot a load all over their faces and sigh with delight after you do so. To the contary, it can actually have very negative results.
No true if you pay them enough money.

Commodore Pipes
7th August 07, 10:27 AM
Street Justice and Super Force used to come on back to back and would watch both.



True dat. Mix a little Carl Weathers and super martian technology powersuit vigilantes, and you got a stew on.

bad credit
7th August 07, 10:59 AM
Oh fuck, Super Force was terrible. Remember season 2 when he got hit by lightning and became psychic with all those other cheesy superpowers?

Commodore Pipes
7th August 07, 11:04 AM
Oh fuck, Super Force was terrible. Remember season 2 when he got hit by lightning and became psychic with all those other cheesy superpowers?

No. actually. I was unaware there was a season 2.

Gezere
7th August 07, 12:54 PM
Oh fuck, Super Force was terrible. Remember season 2 when he got hit by lightning and became psychic with all those other cheesy superpowers?
Yep. He almosted died as a cliff hanger for season 1 then in Season 2 pull through and has powers.

I watched this show because I LOVED Street Hawk and thought they were trying to make a newer version of it. but it was very cheestastic.

Gezere
7th August 07, 01:07 PM
Also in the 80s they would inject some MA in a show that had nothing to do with MA just to give it a cool feel. In the cartoon KIDD VIDEO during the second season KIDD all of a sudden knows Karate. The show had nothing to do with MA it was about music. Kidd didn't do any MA in season1 but in season 2 he was a badass karate fighter.

king of seals
7th August 07, 01:24 PM
Are there boxing movies that aren't documentaries but still have realistic fights and are actually good movies?

I haven't watched many, and I've basically never seen a martial arts movie.

Neildo
7th August 07, 01:40 PM
The fights in the van damme movie "in hell" were sweet, but the rest of the movie was pretty lame.

Gezere
7th August 07, 06:00 PM
Anyone ever see Brunson's HARD TIMES? Brunson as a underground street boxer. Not the most realistic fight scenes but its Charles Brunson!!!

emboesso
7th August 07, 08:11 PM
Anyone ever see Brunson's HARD TIMES? Brunson as a underground street boxer. Not the most realistic fight scenes but its Charles Brunson!!!

Cool movie, directed by Walter Hill. Great supporting acting by Strother Martin. (Edit: BTW, Walter Hill also directed the film in Olorin's avatar; "The Warriors")

Unrelated, but there's a SUPER boxing documentary about Emile Griffith, I forget the title at the moment. Its about him dealing with his homosexuality in the world of boxing, and how he killed Benny Paret in the ring.

Touching scene at the end where Griffith is introducted to Paret's son in Central Park. Paret's widow just couldn't show up for the meeting.

Really really really well done documentary.

bad credit
9th August 07, 07:54 AM
I heard in a documentary once that Bruce Lee loved Hard Times and almost got the bad guy to be Roper in Enter the Dragon.

I love Charles Bronson's Death Wish movies. Not really any MA, but the best 5 hour and a half ads for the NRA, ever.

I thought In Hell was terrible. JCVD's character seems to learn grappling out of nowhere. Undisputed 2 did it much better.

Zendetta
9th August 07, 10:11 PM
I saw the Warriors last week at the local Grindhouse/Pizza'n'Beer Joint.

Its a great movie, visually a bit ahead of its time, and iconic in many ways.

At the end, the last scene at Coney Island, everybody started clinking beer glasses.

Eldarbong
10th August 07, 01:20 PM
I am surprised noone has mentioned the TV show "Kung fu: the legend continues." It's on showcase every afternoon.
http://www.neonrainbowpress.com/KF/images/KFTLCcast.jpg
Also, anything with ninja or kickboxer in the title(except for the van damme one that was ok I guess...). Especially anything with "american" in front of "ninja" or "kickboxer" in the title.
http://www.reelfilm.com/images/amerkick.jpghttp://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/5108BKPHS5L._AA280_.jpg

Sun Wukong
10th August 07, 07:58 PM
I too am surprised that nobody else brought up the American Ninja movies: they are the epitome of all that is crap in MA movies.

Cynthia Rothrock has been in some worse movies, but how they managed to keep making sequals to this lame premise is beyond me.

I think it was while watching these movies that I realized that few things were indeed funnier than cracker's dressing up like ninja's. What was especially funny was the token black guy in the movies that always seemed to beat people up by virtue of his blackness alone.

I never saw him do anything that remotely demonstrated any sort of skill, yet, he was probably still the best character in the show.

SpringHeeledJack
10th August 07, 09:15 PM
That one really freaked me out.

Eldarbong
11th August 07, 03:25 AM
Here's a newer Cynthia Rothrock movie, called x-treme fighter. Plot summary: A deadly computer virus has invaded a virtual reality fighting game leaving a rebellious teen trapped within. Now the boy's father must enter the tainted program and battle his way through a deadly maze of levels and Martial Arts fighters to save his son before it shuts down and kills them both.
Starring:
DON "THE DRAGON" WILSON
CYNTHIA ROTHROCK
LORENZO LAMAS

http://www.mtivideo.com/artistview/images/X-trem5.jpg

Shawarma
11th August 07, 06:39 AM
Shoot Fighter 1 and 2. Featuring Bolo Yeung, street lethal cage tactics and some excellent anti-UFC propaganda for its time.

emboesso
11th August 07, 10:14 AM
In the early 90s there was a rash of cheesy direct-to-video martial arts releases. I really enjoyed Jerry Trimble. He made one movie with Jet Li, and another with Bolo called "Breathing Fire." "Breathing Fire" was somehow named the best choreographed MA movie ever in an article in Black Belt magazine. (WTF ?!?!?!?)

"Breathing Fire" is worth a viewing because its the only appearance I know of with Bolo dressed as a woman in full drag.

Trimble was a welterweight champion kickboxer. If you ever get a chance to see his ring fights, they were really entertaining. He was someone who could actually make moves like jump spinning hook kicks work in the ring.

The big recurring theme in those 90s films was the evil kickboxing promoter who was willing to kill people to rig fights. lolz.

Let's see, back then kickboxing had so little appeal that a big purse for a champion was something like $25,000. Meanwhile, Don King and Bob Arum were promoting boxing matches with purses of $10 million and weren't killing anyone. The idea that a kickboxing promoter would resort to murder to fix a $25,000 fight was supremely lulzworthy.

Also lollable was the intense sports media coverage given to the kickboxing matches in the movies, considering that in RL kickboxing stories never made it into the sports pages.

bad credit
11th August 07, 12:31 PM
That extreme fighter movie is shit. Don and Gokor Chivichyan grapple on the beach in the program, and Gokor gets the armbar, and Don gets out by biting the leg. Just once I wanna see a movie where the guy just breaks the arm. Hell, my old JKD teacher had an armbar on the street once, the guy bit him, and he told the guy to quit or he'd break the arm. The guy quit.

Cynthia Rothrock's only good movie was her original Hong Kong flick. Damn, I forget the name. It had Yuen Baio in it. Other than that, she's a fake-tittied whore who does TKD in the movies and she's a forms champ. Seriously, fuck her. Wanna see a good female movie martial artist? One who was a real kickboxing champ? Kathy Long.

Breathing Fire also had the asian kid from Goonies in it. I guess he grew up and combined his TKD and other martial art skills with film school training and last I heard was the fight choreographer for the first X-men movie.

Jagged
11th August 07, 02:07 PM
The Last Dragon. Great movie or Greatest Movie?

http://www.toastedpixel.com/comic/thelastdragon.jpg

Neildo
12th August 07, 12:54 AM
http://www.mtivideo.com/artistview/images/X-trem5.jpg

this should totally be re-named RETURN OF THE B-LIST ACTION WASHOUTS

this steaming pile is from a rothrock movie:

lPNhqOT2G_k

king of seals
12th August 07, 04:43 AM
That extreme fighter movie is shit. Don and Gokor Chivichyan grapple on the beach in the program, and Gokor gets the armbar, and Don gets out by biting the leg.

I saw a similar scene in a Bruce Lee movie, the armbar is obviously not a juji-gatame though. The opponent of Chen Jun* is played by Robert Baker, a student of Lee.

*the character played by Lee.

I found the clip on YouTube, it has the whole "fight." The bite is exactly at 01:47:

3b-XpZ1PBhQ

Seems like Chen Jun liked the sock's taste.

Shawarma
12th August 07, 06:22 AM
Better example of armbar biting silliness can be found in Enter the Dragon. Bolo Yeung armbars the white American fighter who bites his way out of it.

king of seals
12th August 07, 08:07 AM
Better example of armbar biting silliness can be found in Enter the Dragon. Bolo Yeung armbars the white American fighter who bites his way out of it.

Here it is. The exact bite moment is at: 00:53. And the armbar does resemble a Juji-gatame.

wB5rIceVVpQ

Commodore Pipes
13th August 07, 10:29 AM
this should totally be re-named RETURN OF THE B-LIST ACTION WASHOUTS

this steaming pile is from a rothrock movie:

lPNhqOT2G_k

So, wait: Cynthia Rothrock is a man in drag?

Iscariot
13th August 07, 12:35 PM
Still waiting for GTBurns to explain to me what a 'BS in film Studies' is.

Neildo
13th August 07, 12:39 PM
So, wait: Cynthia Rothrock is a man in drag?

she appears at 1:29 (remaining) dumbass.

Commodore Pipes
13th August 07, 03:13 PM
Her arm's in a sling, right?

I stand by my question, sir. Or perhaps I should say: That's a woman?

Shawarma
13th August 07, 05:10 PM
That clip Neildo posted is the greatest thing ever filmed. RAARGH! TOWEL DEFEATS KNIFE! MORE RARGH! YUH, C YA!

bad credit
13th August 07, 09:08 PM
Robert Baker was Bruce Lee's bodyguard, too. Supposedly he dissapeared right after the Dragon's death, and there's some conspiracy theories about that.

My fave bite to get out of an armbar is in Dead or Alive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuGh4CrUMtM

Neildo
14th August 07, 12:02 AM
Her arm's in a sling, right?

I stand by my question, sir. Or perhaps I should say: That's a woman?

unfortunately, yes.

i'm no sure exactly how she got as famous as she did. i'm pretty sure it's not looks. i think she just showed some producers that trick where she can kick a dude in the face whos standing right beind her and they signed her up.

king of seals
15th August 07, 05:38 AM
My fave bite to get out of an armbar is in Dead or Alive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuGh4CrUMtM

As if that movie wasn't already bad enough... :chewy:

mrblackmagic
15th August 07, 10:16 PM
Don't forget Eric Roberts was the bad guy.

I think the worst I've seen was a pilot/movie on TNT starring Billy Zane and produced by Jet Li called Invincible.

bad credit
18th August 07, 02:57 PM
Yeah, it sucked. It was like Matrix meets Mortal Kombat. There was even a scene about how love was the most powerful force in the world, and somehow you can use it in a fight.

Zub-Zub
18th August 07, 05:37 PM
I have two terrifying words for you. Three Ninjas. It was basically Home Alone meets American Ninja.

ironlurker
18th August 07, 05:39 PM
Legend of the Liquid Sword was pretty bad, even from the standpoint of funny bad.

mrblackmagic
18th August 07, 05:40 PM
I have two terrifying words for you. Three Ninjas. It was basically Home Alone meets American Ninja.


And a spanish guy in a satin ninja costume got beaten with jelly beans. Try again, noob.

Zub-Zub
18th August 07, 05:47 PM
Ok, try this one. Sonny Chiba's "The Streetfighter". Most memorably cheesy moment: he chops a yakuza in the back of the head and makes his eyeballs pop out, hanging out of socket.

Steve
18th August 07, 05:50 PM
How dare you, The Streetfighter is pure gold.

ironlurker
18th August 07, 05:56 PM
Ok, try this one. Sonny Chiba's "The Streetfighter". Most memorably cheesy moment: he chops a yakuza in the back of the head and makes his eyeballs pop out, hanging out of socket.
I think I saw that move in a preview of The Human Weapon: Season 2

AAAhmed46
18th August 07, 08:41 PM
I really enjoyed Kung fu.

Not 'the legends continues' but kung fu.

I don't know why, but it was fun to watch.

bad credit
18th August 07, 10:42 PM
I seem to remember an episode of the old Fist of the North Star where the bad guys had a forbidden martial arts technique that involved firing a ninja swordsman out of a cannon in a spinning fashion.

polishillusion
23rd August 07, 01:45 PM
my mom once told me she wanted to learn to fight like the chick in "Charmed"

I then proceeded to change my genetic disposition and left my family.

bad credit
29th August 07, 07:28 AM
Yeah, I remember the ep. where a spell made Alyssa Milano a "3rd degree black belt in Jeet Kune Do." It made Bruce roll over in his grave and baby Jesus cry.

That chick on that show doesn't do JKD. It's more like TKD. There also aren't belts in JKD.

mrblackmagic
29th August 07, 12:06 PM
Ok, try this one. Sonny Chiba's "The Streetfighter". Most memorably cheesy moment: he chops a yakuza in the back of the head and makes his eyeballs pop out, hanging out of socket.

And that was The Streetfighter Returns. The streetfighter is when he rips the guy's balls and throat out.

bad credit
30th August 07, 02:46 AM
The guy whose balls he ripped off was a rapist, right?

Zub-Zub
1st September 07, 12:47 PM
Yeah, I remember the ep. where a spell made Alyssa Milano a "3rd degree black belt in Jeet Kune Do." It made Bruce roll over in his grave and baby Jesus cry.......


SAY WHAT?! OH HELL NO!!! For that, I am going to go cast some necromancy on Bruce Lee's behalf, so he can mushroom stamp that bitch! Whoever writes for that show should be summarily executed via asphyxiation a la horse cock.

mrblackmagic
1st September 07, 12:55 PM
The guy whose balls he ripped off was a rapist, right?

Indeed.

king of seals
1st September 07, 02:34 PM
Riki-oh, then.

You can't be any purposelessly gorier than that.

That movie has like, Oscar/Hai trying to choke Ricky with his own intestines, Ricky surviving multiple shots...

Follow this link to view pictures and even gifs of the whole film: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/storyofricky/default.php.

polishillusion
7th September 07, 02:43 PM
Yeah, I remember the ep. where a spell made Alyssa Milano a "3rd degree black belt in Jeet Kune Do." It made Bruce roll over in his grave and baby Jesus cry.

That chick on that show doesn't do JKD. It's more like TKD. There also aren't belts in JKD.


she crescent kicks a bad guy at least once an episode.

bad credit
7th September 07, 06:41 PM
And she has fake tits and hairy arms and belly. And she's still hot. I hate her.

I swear I've seen some really crazy shit out of her in some eps. Like backflip kicks. The mule kicks are prolly the only realistic thing she does. Hmmm, I'm off to youtube to search for fight vids from that show.

polishillusion
8th September 07, 07:21 PM
shes from Staten Island... was raised 4 blocks from my house.

Goldenmane
23rd September 07, 10:18 PM
Raven. (http://www.tv.com/raven/show/678/summary.html)

"A ninja-trained former Special Forces agent retires to Hawaii and uses his skills to help those in need and to search for his long-lost son, while avoiding assassins sent to kill him by his former associates in the Black Dragon clan."

'Nuff said.

bad credit
23rd September 07, 11:32 PM
Yeah, I remember that show. Raven wasn't full of awesome fights and ninja cheesiness. It was all talking and mysteries. I watched several episodes and just saw a bunch of drama about guilt and the guy's past, and no martial arts. That show sucked.

Goldenmane
24th September 07, 10:49 PM
The best thing about Raven was... well, there's this guy, right? Who was raised and trained by ninjas, right? But then he killed all the ninjas 'cos they killed his family, right? So he's, like, uberninja, yeah? So he's the sneakiest motherfucker in the world, like, evar...

...and the fucker gets captured in every episode. Every episode. I recall him running around, under a full moon, wearing white sneakers, out in the open. No wonder the ninjas managed to capture him. Even though he had previously killed them all. Must have been zombie ninjas. Yeah.

I do recall some episodes that had "martial arts" (in terms of fighting), but it was paltry and shit. But "martial arts" as a term encompasses all that ninjery goodness, no?

bad credit
24th September 07, 11:49 PM
I think I remember him practicing with a sword in the end of an episode once. That's it.

Anybody here remember Lorenzo Lamas' debacle Immortal? It was after his several year run on Renegade, which in my personal opinion is similar to Walker Texas Ranger, but better.

Immortal was a ripoff of Highlander, only Lamas was a 400 year old white samurai who couldn't die thanks to an oath he had made to forever fight demonkind. See, they had possessed some folks and then killed his wife and kid.

Goldenmane
25th September 07, 02:12 AM
Hahaha... I've never come across Immortal before. An old g/f of mine used to watch Renegade. Hell, I even watched it on and off.

But she also watched Walker. I'd go train instead.

Quikfeet509
1st October 07, 02:07 AM
There was a HK movie where Cynthia Rothrock gets decapitated in the end fight sequence.


I thought it was somewhat funny. Then Yuen Biao defeats the evil Police Captain and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Toby Christensen
9th November 07, 11:28 PM
Errol Flyn movies are probably far more closer to authentic than more current stuff as there is less swordfight films being made. Most action films these days are dudes spraying bullets everywhere.

There are some demand now for those skills with the pirate films and post LOTR fantasy genre boom.

As a person who carries a BS in film Studies, first rule in film fights is: It has to look COOL.

Isn't there a Maritime Fighting Association (or some similar name) that existed BEFORE Pirates of The Carribean and teaches general self defence as a sideline?

Shawarma
10th November 07, 01:22 PM
Am I the only one who thinks the LOTR shaky-cam messy-as-fuck swordfighting with lots of RAAARGH closeups of people screaming NOOOOO in slo-mo as their best friend gets killed really sucks?

Toby Christensen
11th November 07, 10:28 AM
Well there IS the Maritime Combat Association ( a chapter in America) and the Ulfhednir Society of Copenhagen.

Are their MA EXACTLY as they were back in the day? No. But I'd say they are a good approximation, judging by what they say on their websites.

bad credit
12th November 07, 03:41 AM
Maritime combat? What the hell is that? Like Merchant Marine Savate?

OZZ
22nd November 07, 11:32 AM
As far as Swordfights go..my favorite one in a film is the fight between Tim Roth and Liam Neeson in ROB ROY.

EuropIan
26th November 07, 08:17 PM
Crippled masters


Awesomely bad

oYYbvzz4RsU

bad credit
26th November 07, 11:47 PM
Have y'all checked out www.bmovies.com ?

Shawarma
27th November 07, 09:02 AM
I have now. Wow, A Boy And His Dog is awesome. Makes a lot of sense that it's a Harlan Ellison film.

bad credit
27th November 07, 10:41 AM
Yeah, I've been wanting to watch it for years. I'm a HUGE fan of anything post-apoclypse. I tried to watch it the other night but it kept stopping to download. I'll go back and try again.

Watched Death Machines, which was terrible. I had to see the old Ron Marchini movie, though, since I've recently bought his Omega Cop and Karate Cop from the dollar DVD bin at Wal-mart. I found an online interview with the director, apparently Ron was such a terrible actor and was so nervous about it, they didn't give him any lines in Death Machines. Man, go buy and watch his other movies. He wanted to be Chuck Norris soooooo bad, and it just didn't work out.

Shawarma
27th November 07, 02:14 PM
I like how in A Boy And His Dog there are NO characters that are not complete and utter assholes. The main character is a dim, violent kid whose main concern in life is to locate rapeable womenfolk, his dog is a sleazy, sarcastic sociopath who uses his telepathic skills for the greater goo, no wait, I meant "To find womenfolk to rape."

The evil talking dog with telepathic abilities is perhaps the best plot device ever, by the way.

This movie is pure 70ies. No moral lessons, no redeeming qualities, just grim, nasty nihilism. And the ending is so fucking awesome I can't believe it.

NoMan
6th December 07, 02:47 PM
I used to watch "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues", when I was like 10. I loved it because David Carradine moved slow as shit in every fight scene. I mean slow. I mean molasses being poured out of a jar slow. But he never got hit, and he always beat the bad guy easily. The guy that played his son, however, moved much faster. But always got beat up or nearly lost his fights. Classic.

The other funny thing was that the first episode was kinda gritty, (people died, women in lingerie, sex is mentioned), while the later episodes were pure cheeze. There were so many Deus Ex Machina's pulled out it was unbelievable. Time travel, hypnosis, etc.

DerAuslander108
6th December 07, 04:51 PM
Other bullshit i have seen is Ninja's with Nunchaku, "NUN-CHUCKS" are a 20th century invention

Wrong.

DerAuslander108
6th December 07, 06:56 PM
Does anybody remember Black Sash that was the WB a couple of years ago? It was about Russell Wong teaching a bunch of Dawson's Creek style teens Bagua while bounty hunting on the side. While it had some cheesy fights and melodrama, it had great philosophy, like the original Kung Fu show. WB fucked it up, too. They only made 6 episodes, then waited to show 5 of those a year later after all the stars had moved on to other stuff. The first ep. got the highest ratings on TV that night, the second and third did ok, and then they changed the time slot and the ratings went in the crapper.

Black Sash was an amazing TV.

Despite still being a show where the only way an Asian American male can get a lead role is by doing martial arts, it also had him married (ok, divorced) to a hot white woman, and portrayed as a sexual being, rather than just a kung fu badass or a villain. It was a show about martial arts, rather than just having martial arts as another tool in the hero's belt.

Of course they cancelled it...

DerAuslander108
6th December 07, 06:57 PM
SIDEKICKS!!!! No not the movie with Chuck Noriss and Jon Brandis. This one stared lil Ernie Reyes Jr as THE LAST ELECTRIC KNIGHT! A cop with a kid MA superbadass who helped him solve cases.

Dude, I loved the Last Electric Knight!!!!!

I thought I was the only one who'd seen it!!!


I only saw two episodes of Black Sash but I liked what I saw. I really liked the Vanishing Son movies. The TV series wasn't as good but the made for TV movies, which also spawned Hercules, well done.

Vanishing Son are still some of my favorite martial art movies.

Toby Christensen
9th December 07, 04:29 AM
What gets me about Pat Morita is that he deliberately perpetuated the "squinting inscrutable old Asian man/fish out of water Asian American" when he had more brains and talent than that.

For my contribution, anything that portrays MA as purely Asian, mystical without carrying it off skillfully (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) or implies that it will keep you safe from firearms.

I remember one scene involving some kind of "kung fu"

Gangster: (levelling gun) "You're going to die"
Master (looks up at big stormclouds gathering overhead) "I have a feeling I'll die on a night like this..."
(gun glows red hot in gangster's hand. He yells and drops it. KF "master roundhouses him unconscious)
Master: "But tonight is not that night"

mrblackmagic
10th December 07, 10:29 AM
Why fist of the white lotus is the best/worst martial arts movie of all times?
YcJ9yxyKlaQ
4:05 Wow. Just wow.
6:00 Best party trick EVAR.

Greyfox
28th December 07, 01:33 PM
'Enter the Game of Death'.

Such a bad movie, that they even managed to misspell 'The End'.

I kid you not.

Oh, it also stars Bolo.

MrGalt
9th January 08, 05:21 AM
No Retreat, No Surrender (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089695/) has it all: pacifist krotty teachers, the ghost of Bruce Lee, Van Damme in a non-speaking role, a fat kid biting ankles for all the fans of that technique on this thread, disco fighting, Sherman Oaks Karate, American rules kickboxing with Pete "Sugarfoot" Cunningham, a backflip kick taught as the ultimate technique, the "you must first empty your cup" demonstration taught, you guessed it...by the ghost of Bruce Fucking Lee! Truly the baddest of bad MA movies.

Neildo
9th January 08, 08:32 AM
i've always avoided that one but i think i want to see it now.

Shawarma
9th January 08, 08:48 AM
Shootfighter 1 and 2. Both have Bolo Yeung with actual speaking parts and #2 has Joe Son as Least Convincing Evil Archvillain Ever. They are bragable.

asimpson2006
9th January 08, 11:39 AM
No Retreat, No Surrender (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089695/) has it all: pacifist krotty teachers, the ghost of Bruce Lee, Van Damme in a non-speaking role, a fat kid biting ankles for all the fans of that technique on this thread, disco fighting, Sherman Oaks Karate, American rules kickboxing with Pete "Sugarfoot" Cunningham, a backflip kick taught as the ultimate technique, the "you must first empty your cup" demonstration taught, you guessed it...by the ghost of Bruce Fucking Lee! Truly the baddest of bad MA movies.

That movie is one of my favorite films of all time. What's wrong with being a pacifist?

I enjoyed the First two American Ninja movies that were made. The third film was ok, but crap.

Cynthia Rothrock was never succesfully here, which was a damn shame.

American Kickboxer 1 was decent, but corny, I have yet to see two, but it's in my queue in Netflix.

WMAC Masters was the shit back in the day. It was one of my favorite shows back in the 90's. Yea, the stuff cheesy as hell, but it was damn fun.

It's still one of my favorite shows to date.

MrGalt
9th January 08, 04:48 PM
I worked at a TV station that aired WMAC once, so I actually got paid to watch that show. Hell, when I was a teenager I thought it would be cool to BE on that show.

I'll let somebody else take on what is wrong with being a pacifist, but I was merely pointing out the incredible cliche of the krotty teacher who won't fight for seemingly any reason. At least he didn't swear an oath to his parents/dead master/brother/etc. That would've made him kung fu.

bad credit
10th January 08, 02:07 PM
Have y'all seen Sport Ranger? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HIZmZ7rgXY

It's the Thai version of Power Rangers. Best part? The teen who plays tennis and beats up putties with a racket.

Shar
11th January 08, 09:47 PM
There is a swedish martial arts parody called Disco Kung Fu.

PLOT SUMMARY: Mehmet lives in a suburb of Stockholm called Kastby, he's persecuted and pursued (romantically) by the evil Tarek who together with his gang is terrorizing the entire community. Mehmet doesn't like the situation but daren't resist his persecutor. Suddenly a legendary but almost forgotten Kung-Fu master, Willy Fastfoot, re-emerges. He begins teaching Mehmet his famous style called 'Disco Kung-Fu'.




http://www.filmbetyg.nu/sysimages/movies/18248.jpg



Don't even try to find anothing more hilarious.

Sun Wukong
12th January 08, 02:40 PM
Re: Fist of the White Lotus

Cut Gordon Liu a break on that on, everybody makes a real stinker now and then.

king of seals
15th January 08, 05:31 PM
I quickly mixed a few things I found from Silat Zombie, Bloodsport, Fist of the White Lotus, etc. and uploaded it on YT.

GechqvbG4_E

Is it ridiculous enough?

Neildo
16th January 08, 02:01 PM
fuck that is the most awesome video ever.

EuropIan
16th January 08, 02:09 PM
pretty damn good, but you forgot

z4mNpfZWfC0

Toby Christensen
16th January 08, 05:06 PM
That man in the black singlet looks like thalidomide poisoning to me.