Shafted by Paris to the Hilt (Paris Hilton 'Paris' review)

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NunOnBreak
22nd June 07, 11:32 AM
So since yesterday afternoon the radio station I usually listen to (http://1015freefm.com/), in perhaps the most cruel joke ever played on mankind, has been playing all Paris Hilton songs with some fruity DJ giving 'snaps' to cheer up everyone who calls in angry.

Lord help me I can't stop listening. Her voice isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Very breathy, she can actually carry a tune. They definitely shelled out the production dough for this CD.

1. Turn It Up - clap beat hip hop with string stings and a slightly more fleshed out chorus. Think Christina Aguilera.

2. Fightin' Over Me - Worst song on the album, the chorus is Paris bragging how boys are always fighting over her, the verses are a few different rappers relaying how she needs 'a little hood in her'

3. Stars Are Blind - Sounds kind of like a 'No Doubt' song, as does her voice at certain points. Very tropical and relaxing.

4. I Want You - Clap beats, but this time with disco / funk trumpets / sax. We want you too.

5. Jealousy - starts out with some classical strings, she is singing about some jealous girl friend she lost. The chorus sounds like Garbage. The band, not the stuff in bags that gets picked up by a smelly truck every Wednesday.

6. Heartbeat - This one starts out similar to 'True Colors' by Cyndi Lauper. Standard 80's ballad stuff.

7. Nothing In This World - A guitar with a little twang and Paris singing 'Da-dah da da da da-dah' on the offbeats. Could this be the recipe for the perfect pop song?

8. Screwed - I think this is a rejected Kelly Clarkson track. Fine if you like pop.

9. Not Leaving Without You - Madonna helped on this one. I know it. We can dance, we can dance, we can dance all night!

10. Turn You On - "All the boys are looking at me" Standard girl-giving-herself-props R&B / hip-hop.

11. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy - not a bad cover of the original. Better I think, because I don't like to picture Rod Stewart when he is singing. Turns my stomach.

This album is better than most of the pop freshman efforts out there. Who would have thought?

http://www.scrotaljustice.com/images/dayo/paris.jpg

My musical resume'?

My favorite band is Radiohead.
I took classical piano from ages 8-17 and played alto saxophone in a jazz band for 4 years. (we got to record where Sir mixalot put down 'I like big butts' woot.)
I am currently trying to teach myself guitar.

I also like most things put to piano by Glenn Gould (this (http://www.amazon.com/State-Wonder-Complete-Goldberg-Variations/dp/B00006FI7C/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-1167064-2902461?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1182529234&sr=8-1) is excellent)
Rage against the Machine
Tori Amos
AC/DC
Muse
Nirvana
The 'O brother where art thou' soundtrack
Coltrane
Johnny Cash
Dead Milkmen
Bob Marley
Queen
Cake
Led Zeppelin
David Bowie

Question!
22nd June 07, 02:08 PM
I've only heard 'Stars are Blind' and it sucks major ass.

NunOnBreak
22nd June 07, 02:32 PM
Tis one of the most disturbing music videos ever. How old is that kid she is grinding on?

aAy6BcX5RWw

Sun Wukong
22nd June 07, 05:15 PM
MY EYES! YOU BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY EYES!!!??!?!?!?!

Fearless Ukemi
22nd June 07, 06:05 PM
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c137/mchalmers002/MoreCowbell1.jpg

NunOnBreak
23rd June 07, 09:56 AM
MY EYES! YOU BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY EYES!!!??!?!?!?!

Unfortunately, the only cure for that video is a red hot poker to each iris and a frontal lobotomy.