PDA

View Full Version : Pirate Master: So Lame it Almost Makes me Want to Be a Ninja. Almost.



Commodore Pipes
1st June 07, 08:35 AM
I watched the Pirate Master last night. I like pirates; I am very third grade in that sense. Also, I am scared of nuns, so I am very third grade in that sense, too. Fucking Sister Sylvia. That old hag.

Pirate Master is a reality TV show like survivor, which means it features physical challenges and battles of wits. Also like survivor, the challenges don't seem that challenging, and there really aren't any wits to speak of. It looks very much like Disney's Pirate's of the Carribean, the Interactive scavenger hunt addition. I mean, if Sister Sylvia didn't like my sister, why pick on me? Dumb, butch, habit-wearing bitch.

So they go on this scavenger hunt, and this guy who was billed as a 'Scientist/Exotic Dancer' (I shit you not) is the only one who uses his wits and actually accomplishes the task at hand. So he demonstrates that he can think and get shit done.

Clearly this is too threatening to the other contestants, so they turn on him. Like when she asked the whole class if she should shoot me or hang me because I never did my homework. The whole class turned against. Can you imagine what it's like, not just not having any friends in thrdr grade, but the teacher herself actually manipulating the class to get them to turn against you? That fucking cunt. Anyway, they vote some paranoid, conniving piece of shit as captain.

So they can vote the scientist stripper off, the guy with the most sailing experience, or some poor lady who got caught in the crossfire, but if they cast a unanimous vote, they can vote off the captain. So the scientist stripper gathers all the compasses aboard ship and hides them on his person. And when it comes time to vote, he holds up all the compasses and says "You can vote me off, but I have the compasses, and if I go, they go with me.

AND SO THEY UNANIMOUSLY VOTE THE ONLY GUY WITH COMPASSES OFF OF THE SHIP. Since he's the only one thinking, and clearly most of these people cannot think, he must go. And what's left? A crew filled with dullards and nitwits. I fucking hate reality TV. And the stripper scientist couldn't believe that they voted him off. You should have seen his face. He looked just like a little boy, silently suffering the humiliation of a vindictive nun and her little Catholic school army of emotional terrorists. So I don't like reality TV.

AAAhmed46
2nd June 07, 12:09 AM
Serious? Cant the producers stop him from taking all the compasses or something?

John_Dillinger
2nd June 07, 04:42 AM
Fucking Sister Sylvia. That old hag.

I loled, and searously... pirates don't do reality tv this is obviously some evil wizard/larper/ninjer conspiracy... fuck em.

Steve
2nd June 07, 04:51 AM
I watched the Pirate Master last night. I like pirates; I am very third grade in that sense. Also, I am scared of nuns, so I am very third grade in that sense, too. Fucking Sister Sylvia. That old hag.

Pirate Master is a reality TV show like survivor, which means it features physical challenges and battles of wits. Also like survivor, the challenges don't seem that challenging, and there really aren't any wits to speak of. It looks very much like Disney's Pirate's of the Carribean, the Interactive scavenger hunt addition. I mean, if Sister Sylvia didn't like my sister, why pick on me? Dumb, butch, habit-wearing bitch.

So they go on this scavenger hunt, and this guy who was billed as a 'Scientist/Exotic Dancer' (I shit you not) is the only one who uses his wits and actually accomplishes the task at hand. So he demonstrates that he can think and get shit done.

Clearly this is too threatening to the other contestants, so they turn on him. Like when she asked the whole class if she should shoot me or hang me because I never did my homework. The whole class turned against. Can you imagine what it's like, not just not having any friends in thrdr grade, but the teacher herself actually manipulating the class to get them to turn against you? That fucking cunt. Anyway, they vote some paranoid, conniving piece of shit as captain.

So they can vote the scientist stripper off, the guy with the most sailing experience, or some poor lady who got caught in the crossfire, but if they cast a unanimous vote, they can vote off the captain. So the scientist stripper gathers all the compasses aboard ship and hides them on his person. And when it comes time to vote, he holds up all the compasses and says "You can vote me off, but I have the compasses, and if I go, they go with me.

AND SO THEY UNANIMOUSLY VOTE THE ONLY GUY WITH COMPASSES OFF OF THE SHIP. Since he's the only one thinking, and clearly most of these people cannot think, he must go. And what's left? A crew filled with dullards and nitwits. I fucking hate reality TV. And the stripper scientist couldn't believe that they voted him off. You should have seen his face. He looked just like a little boy, silently suffering the humiliation of a vindictive nun and her little Catholic school army of emotional terrorists. So I don't like reality TV.

5iS2yZaiygc

If I had watched this show I would be emo too.

Commodore Pipes
4th June 07, 09:26 AM
Yeah, it was pretty bad.

uu-tu-pa master
11th June 07, 05:51 AM
Reality TV is a sad and pathetic thing, get some will power and fucking turn the shit off. Shows like survivor go on for 20 billion seasons then even lower quality spinoffs/ripoffs emerge and its because people still watch it, even when we all no its shit and a trained monkey could come up with a better idea

Commodore Pipes
11th June 07, 11:52 AM
You clearly have never seen the show, dude. You don't know the willpower it took to watch this piece of shit to the end.