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DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 04:33 AM
So you made it home alive enough to write this emo post...

It was a good night.

It started out in DC. You woke up around noon, not even 8 hours sleep after the bullshit from last night's shift.

You had enough time to wash some clothes and shave your head before you had to head down to Laurel to meet up the Tank's brother. From henceforth, you'll call him Hard Core, cuz that's what he is, a Marine who's been through the shit.

You went to the Nationals game. The free tickets the two of you had won got you sky box seats and free beers from a couple lovely Miller Light representatives. Hard Core wanted to hit on them, but you knew better. They'd work bars and shows before. They were used to guys coming up to them with every line.

So you headed back to Hard Core's place, got cleaned up, and picked out a change of clothes. Nothing too fancy, you weren't planning on going to play.

Aqua.

The Asian club that always brings you bad luck.

Last time you were there, your transmission dropped on the drive home. A $200.00 tab turned into $1,700.00. And you didn't even get laid...

The time before that you'd barely gotten out of there. It was your white ass versus a mob of Asians...none of them your boys...all because you'd danced with the wrong girl...you went home bruised and bleeding...but satisfied that you'd done unto others worse than they'd done unto you...you wouldn't go back to Aqua for two years....

Tonight was a good night, though you write this in your own bed, alone.

You got Aqua early, but then, you were there to keep your boy, Steve, company. He'd come down with the KDPhi girls who were hosting the party. In other words, he was by himself. You got there with Hard Core. Maverick arrived shortly there after.

Annie. The cutest bartender in DC. She remembered you from last time. The special was Vodka Cranberry's, but the way she poured, it was Vodka with a bit of cranberry juice. You gotta love a girl like that. You ordered a couple rounds of those. Steve and Amy ordered a couple rounds of Petron. Before midnight you were feeling good. After midnight you were nice and toasty.

Time to dance. There was Amy's sister, trying to get you and Mav out on the dance floor. Mav was feeling shy. Actually, he was feeling what it was like to be DerAuslander. The outsider, not one to fit in. It was just another day to you. Everyone there was either your friend, or the friend of your friend. You had no such inhibition. So you went out on the dance floor without him. A few of the girls you knew danced with Mav, but to no avail. You'd asked them to get him out there, but he wasn't feeling it. Oh, well, you thought. You can't force it. As long as he had a good time.

The night continued as you ran across the street to hit the ATM for more cash. You returned to do more shots, this time with Mav, and the two white girls he'd found. There's logic for you. A bar full of Asian girls, and Maverick ends up with the only two white girls in the house. You and Jerry walk to the bar. Jerry. He knows where you're at. Aside from Louisa's boyfriends, he feels her loss like you do. It's unspoken. If either of you bring it up, the other gives a hard look. Say nothing, leave it unspoken, just take the drink and smile for her.

It doesn't matter, because it's time to get out of there. Steve is unconscious. How do you know? You asked him if he'd let Jerry fuck him up the goat ass and he nodded and said sure. Amy is passed out as well, you try to get her up into David's arms, but she's gone, all the Petron hitting her at one time. Irony of it all, she was the hostess of the club party tonight. Blaming her never crosses your mind, just concern. You help get her up, and make sure Steve is taken care of.

You're out in the parking lot, not sure how you got there, but you're making sure Steve is in the backseat of some girl's car. You don't know who she is, maybe you do, you're too gone to recognize her. Even for you, at some point, all the Asian faces seem to blend together. You yell at Steve to get Amy upright as you put a paper bag in her face, just in case she decides to re-decorate the car's interior. You hear Maverick talking to you, he's going. You look him hard in the eye. He's straight. You'll call him tomorrow.

The Asian girl (Asian girl at Aqua?!? No...really?!?)...whoever she is...she's driving Steve and Amy back to Paul's house, where Steve lives. You take her phone from her, and dial your own number. You tell her to call you when she gets them there. She gives you a funny look. Why do you care? Then you can tell she recognizes you. You're that white boy, the one who gave the eulogy at Louisa's funeral.

"I'm not speaking at any more funerals. Call me when you get to Paul's," you say.

She nods, you know she understands. They all do.

Three months, one week. A life time...

You were in better shape the week of her funeral. Steve blames himself, and so do you. You both know.

Jerry looks at you as you get out of her car. You're not driving you tell him, point at Hard Core, the sober ass white boy. Jerry looks at you, knowing what a stupid motherfucker you are. "Call me when you get home," he says.

"No worries," you assure him.

You're in HC's car. You roll the window down. You'd hurled hours ago. Annie had poured you Vodka cranberries, Amy and Steve had ordered shot after shot of Petron, and then there was the fucking Hennesy from the Korean mafia. You'd staggered into the men's room, needing to explode. The Vietnamese gang banger wannabes were pouring something into their drinks, you didn't wanna ask. They got out of your way as you bent over the toilet and emptied your stomach. A freshly cleaned stomach meant you were ready for more alcohol, more punishment with Amy, Steve, and Jerry.

So there, hours later, you roll down HC's passenger side window and spit into the wind. The cold air slams against your bald skull, sobering you momentarily. Over the howl of the wind on the BW Parkway, you can hear the radio.

"Don't let the days go by..."

You willingly let go of consciousness. "Everything Zen..." You understand where you're broken, where you cannot overcome. Your temporary insanity thinks of things you can barely comprehend, thinking you should push beyond it all, be the ubermensch, the aristos DAYoung talked about. From there you move on to marvel how people you've never met could have such influence on you. Influence on you. People who can no longer influence you hold the greatest influence. What would you say if you were still here Lou?

Jina, would things be different if she'd never stuck that needle in her vein? What would have happened? Alcohol was an amusement before, now it's an escape. Would you be a better person if they were still here? If Jina had never decided to end it before you could save her...if Lou had never fallen asleep...who would you be?

You're finally back at HC's house. He asks if you're hungry, trying to get you inside. You're fine you insist, the ride woke you up. "All right," he says, as you walk to your car.

You're pulling out of HC's development as your phone rings. It's Jerry. He's surprised to hear that you're driving. You're straight, you tell him. Besides, it's only three right turns to get back to your apartment from HC's house. He tells you to call him once you've gotten home.

So you drive. Hamasaki Ayumi plays. That was a dumb choice, but then, you hadn't known that when you put the CD in that morning. Or had you? You are notorius for self-sabotage.

If I could flutter like a bird, I'd fly to you and offer my wing to your wounded back...

Just keep driving, it's not that hard, and you're pretty sober anyway. You guess it's never really occurred to anyone that you drive north on 29 to 40 every time you drive home. The same route she took. Everyday, you drive through the same physical space she died in. Everyday, you cross yourself, reaching for a faith you no longer cling to, just hoping she's happy. Just wishing she'd smile for you once more.

If my life is transient like a flower, I'll be in full bloom by your side, and after watching you smile, I'll quietly fall alone...

You pull into your parking lot and pick yourself up out of your car. You trudge to the stoop of your apartment and sit down on the steps. The first call is to HC. You're home, you're fine. Jerry is the next to know. Finally, as you lean against the cold brick, the girl calls. You don't know her name. Maybe you never will. She's gotten Steve and Amy home to Paul's. Steve swore he wouldn't get drunk tonight. You knew otherwise. It's who you are. It was one thing before she left. Now, it's all you have left.

You stumble upstairs, and this is what you do.

Fucking Bullshido...

ironlurker
28th April 07, 12:23 PM
From there you move on to marvel how people you've never met could have such influence on you. Influence on you. People who can no longer influence you hold the greatest influence.
That's the way it is, "history turned into nature".


You're that white boy, the one who gave the eulogy at Louisa's funeral.
If I'm reading this correctly, as being enamored/immersed/involved with a culture or community that will always have a certain ambivalence towards you, it's an experience that anyone who truly leaves their safe zone will end up having, and accepting it can allow you to achieve an unprecented perspective.

damn time for a keyboard where the space bar works

MaverickZ
28th April 07, 12:31 PM
She was married too, fuck that shit!

Dagon Akujin
28th April 07, 12:45 PM
A bar full of Asian girls, and Maverick ends up with the only two white girls in the house.

!

There was one for me!

:*(

Dagon

WarPhalange
28th April 07, 01:45 PM
God, that's just tl;dr. Your life is too long and tedious.

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:46 PM
Had to add this bit:

Let me clarify that I was not drunk while driving home, though I did have a few more once I got home.

To anyone who would think of driving home drunk, I refer you to this (http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=34832) thread, as well as the last several entries of this training blog to see how idiocy like that affects the people who get left behind.

So, no, taking the keys away from me is not necessary. However, can someone please take my laptop away so posts like this never happen again?

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:47 PM
If I'm reading this correctly, as being enamored/immersed/involved with a culture or community that will always have a certain ambivalence towards you, it's an experience that anyone who truly leaves their safe zone will end up having, and accepting it can allow you to achieve an unprecented perspective.

Nah, you're reading it the wrong way, but I get what you're saying.

I recently read a eulogy for a friend at her funeral. She was the kind of girl who everyone loved, and wouldn't be much of an exagerration to say half of the Asians in Maryland were there. I gained a sort of notoriety because of this, and since the funeral, I've had people who I've never met come up and tell me how touched they were, etc.

Thus, the part about the recognition.

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:48 PM
She was married too, fuck that shit!

Dude, that's like what...the second time!!!

You should just go gay. I hear it's easier.

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:49 PM
!

There was one for me!

:*(

Dagon

I told you to come...but noooooo...Dagon doesn't wanna hang out with Asian sorority girls...

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:51 PM
God, that's just tl;dr. Your life is too long and tedious.

And that's just on a good night!

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 01:53 PM
Oh, and Maverick...the next time I send two girls to freak you...

GET A CLUE!::zalien:

Stick
28th April 07, 01:58 PM
Well damn, I guess that means no one wants to go out tonight.

MaverickZ
28th April 07, 02:01 PM
Oh, and Maverick...the next time I send two girls to freak you...

GET A CLUE!::zalien:
But I was lazy AND tired. I'll do better next time master.

Stick
28th April 07, 02:06 PM
I would've done better.

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 02:07 PM
Well damn, I guess that means no one wants to go out tonight.

I'm working at the Fox in Annapolis, so come on down.

And remember...next weekend in Cinco de Drinko!

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 02:08 PM
But I was lazy AND tired. I'll do better next time master.

LOL...

I know you were lazy and tired. That's why I did all the work for you. I didn't realize you were so tired to not be able to respond when a girl walks up and just shoves her ass in your crotch.

MaverickZ
28th April 07, 02:33 PM
LOL...

I know you were lazy and tired. That's why I did all the work for you. I didn't realize you were so tired to not be able to respond when a girl walks up and just shoves her ass in your crotch.
It was certainly a nice ass, my passe' attitude is not a testament to her qualities.

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l80/dmepadme/379b451966f71569b42b69e474ac2e22.gif

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 02:49 PM
It won't let me rep you for that. But it deserves rep. Someone rep Maverick for me. He needs rep. Can I get some rep here?

Stick
28th April 07, 04:46 PM
Done.

DerAuslander108
28th April 07, 05:26 PM
Someone put the dancing Mal to the tune of the Hamster Dance so I can jerk off to it.

Dagon Akujin
28th April 07, 05:42 PM
Someone put the dancing Mal to the tune of the Hamster Dance so I can jerk off to it.

Um...

?

:gay:

frumpleswift
28th April 07, 05:46 PM
Someone put the dancing Mal to the tune of the Hamster Dance so I can jerk off to it.

That is perhaps one of the most disturbing images I have had all month.

Kuririn shooting his load onto mal dressed in a hamster suit.

PizDoff
28th April 07, 06:09 PM
One of the worst threads I have ever read.

Two things (at least for now)

-J-pop is better than our North American garbage. Or at least Hamasaki Ayumi
-Being 'shepard' to drink people sucks.

Also, people who drink and drive do raise my ire.

DerAuslander108
29th April 07, 01:33 AM
I am to please.

And shoot to kill.

Neildo
29th April 07, 02:04 AM
I feel like having a rum and coke after reading this thread.

good thing i have both on hand.

cheers!

DerAuslander108
29th April 07, 02:56 AM
Have you tried Gosling's Black Seal?

It's my absolute favorite rum. Tastes like liquid sugar cane. Reminds me of Hawaii.

DAYoung
29th April 07, 04:40 AM
This thread makes me want to be a teetotaler.

Odacon
29th April 07, 09:06 AM
Just to ram home the anti drink drive message:

MX_w23Iogt8

As with all Irish Drink Drive ads, this is based on actual reports from emergency services.

mrblackmagic
29th April 07, 09:42 AM
Why does bad stuff seem to happen at clubs named Aqua, Liquid, or one's named after fickle emotions.

MaverickZ
29th April 07, 12:23 PM
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y232/StikArt/Posters/beermotiv.jpg

DerAuslander108
30th April 07, 10:58 PM
This thread makes me want to be a teetotaler.

We have a word for people like you where I come from.






Treiber.

DerAuslander108
30th April 07, 11:00 PM
Why does bad stuff seem to happen at clubs named Aqua, Liquid, or one's named after fickle emotions.

Hey, I never had a bad time at Dream or Love or Platinum or Fur.

DAYoung
30th April 07, 11:53 PM
We have a word for people like you where I come from.

Masturbators' Anonymous has its own language?

I'm impressed.


Treiber.


Pffcht.

DerAuslander108
1st May 07, 12:26 AM
Come now, you know you gotta a chuckle out of it.

Will you be around much tonight?

I'm looking over your Budo paper, and it's going to be another sleepless night for me.

Might as well play while I can.

DerAuslander108
1st May 07, 12:27 AM
Come now, you know you gotta a chuckle out of it.

Will you be around much tonight?

I'm looking over your Budo paper, and it's going to be another sleepless night for me.

Might as well play while I can.

DAYoung
1st May 07, 12:40 AM
Come now, you know you gotta a chuckle out of it.

Will you be around much tonight?

I'm looking over your Budo paper, and it's going to be another sleepless night for me.

Might as well play while I can.

When you say tonight, you mean this afternoon? What time is it there? It's Tuesday, 3.40pm here.

In any case, I'll certaiunly be working for the next few hours, which means I'll be online.

Thanks for looking over my paper, by the way - mochos gracias, El Gautama.

DerAuslander108
1st May 07, 12:42 AM
BTW, I never masturbate anonymously.