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View Full Version : Review: Why you shouldn't buy a Wii OR a PS3



Airman Kai
1st December 06, 12:04 AM
Two systems that will be getting new shipments in until Xmas, and all that money still to be spent. Here's why you should go spen it on a nice lobster dinner, or perhaps a pedicure for your dear mother.

PS3 reaches new levels of dissapointment because:

1. The fucking controller is broken. No, no. Not MY controller. THE controller. Bluetooth sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls, and connection problems are abound. You can be holding Left, and then your controller will decide to drop it's connection to the console. It takes about 5 seconds for it to re-establish the conection to your PS3. So, for 5 more seconds, you WILL continue to walk left. Now you're dead. Load checkpoint, please.

2. I paid HOW MUCH for these graphics? Really, Sony? Is this REALLY what you had me pay for? With graphics no better than a XB360's, am I REALLY supposed to be impressed? No, Sony. The answer is no. You suck. Make prettier games, please. And better games, while you're at it.

3. Free online play? Are you serious? GREAT! Ok, lemme just hook this bad boy up, and... wait. Wait. This sucks. WTF? This online service SUCKS! Who gives a shit if it's free? I can't even fucking play music while I download something! I can't do ANYTHING while I download something! JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST! Are you serious?


Wii shakes my inner child to it's very core because:

1. THIS is the controller you've been touting, Nintendo? Are you fucking serious? Obvious problems aside, this thing doesn't makes my games funner AT ALL! Trying to point your gun at ANYTHING is a adventure in testing my patience. And in what SEEMS to be a parting blow at my faith in your company, the speaker on the controller has a PLASTIC diaphragm. Lo-Fi for the FUCKING loss.

2. I should have expected this, but I was hoping against all hope that your games wouldn't looki like shit. The ONE GAME that doesn't make my eyes bleed is the one you took 1 1/2 years to make. Zelda proves NOTHING. Except that it takes a LONG time in development to hide the shitty graphics of your new system. this shit actually looks WORSE than the original Xbox.

3. Wow... virtual console. How impressive. Oh, wait, what's that? I can download all those games already? Oh. Well... I guess I can still play online games for free, right? Oh. You don't have any online games? Huh. That sucks.

Steve
1st December 06, 12:36 AM
Just curious if you bought both systems, cause that's some serious scratch (games aside).

Neildo
1st December 06, 11:02 AM
Re: PS3. What's appropriate... W00t? Pwnt? 0wn4g3?

Re: Wii. ~cries~

Plasma
1st December 06, 05:00 PM
PS3 sucks worst then that reviews, its just broken,

Wii is quite possibly the most fun I EVER had playing a video game.

Neildo
1st December 06, 05:19 PM
I just saw some employees where i work playing Wii sports in a board room. They had it hooked up to the LCD projector so the display was bright and colorful.

There was 4 of them playing Doubles Tennis. When they served, it looked very responsive.

I think kai is just too rough on his Wii-mote. Take it easy flyboy, it's just a game.
Plastic lo-fi speaker is teh suck though.

Odacon
1st December 06, 05:57 PM
I think the comparasons to 360 are unfair, the 360 is releasing it's second generation of games before the ps3's even released. Obviously the graphics will improve greatly once the developers get to grips with their hilariously long delayed kits (don't ask, there's no reason. Sony had the kits ready and just didn't bother shipping them out because....) can you not use a normal wired joypad on the ps3? what happens when I lose a game and throw my pad like i always do?

Neildo
1st December 06, 06:05 PM
Oh i forgot to mention, i'm super fucking pissed at Sony. I heard the PS1 emulators (sony official, not homebrew) were released for PSP, but I need a god-fucking-damn PS3 to download it and transfer it to my PSP. What's the point of that you ask? As far as I can tell, the point was to make brainwashed Sony slaves buy more product. Fuckers.

I've already had my comeuppance though, I'm never buying another UMD ever again. I have a 2gb memory stick, which currently has two games and the pilot episode for AirWolf on it. Suck it, Sony.

edit: Had a laugh at their expense this morning too. Got a junk email from sony telling me about games i already beat because i downloaded them weeks ago. haha, bitches.

WarPhalange
1st December 06, 07:11 PM
lol the airforce

Expecting the Wii to be graphically superior than anything means you're an idiot. You payed all of $250 for it at launch. What were you expecting? It's not meant to be graphically advanced. It's a shame, but don't act surprised.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
1st December 06, 07:44 PM
The Wii is truly the working man's console, cheap, affordable, and because the controllers are totally new everyone will suck at it equally.

I predict that, following historical trends, it will be consumed by a ruthless dictator.

Airman Kai
2nd December 06, 03:07 AM
Just curious if you bought both systems, cause that's some serious scratch (games aside). I've got all three systems, in a sense. It's a partial ownership consortium along with my fellow airman living in the house. Socialism ftw?


lol the airforce

Expecting the Wii to be graphically superior than anything means you're an idiot. You payed all of $250 for it at launch. What were you expecting? It's not meant to be graphically advanced. It's a shame, but don't act surprised.
So you're saying the expectation to suck gives it a free pass to suck? So I should also forgive Sony because their launch lineup was expected to be lackluster?

No.

And you're right. Lol the airforce. Your branch of service is much more impressive. Oh... wait.


...everyone will suck at it equally. Bingo.


...can you not use a normal wired joypad on the ps3? You can play it through the charging cable that comes with it, but if that's what it takes to play with reliability, what the fuck it the point of a wireless controller?


Wii is quite possibly the most fun I EVER had playing a video game. Are you playing some sort of secret, ninja developed game that I'm unaware of? Because NONE of the current games are what I would bill as "lots of fun." More like, "Not quite fatal."

Sirc
2nd December 06, 12:01 PM
Holy shit you're wrong all over the place. I have no idea how or why you're having problems with the bluetooth connection.

Secondly you're paying $600 for not only the system, you're also paying for the Blu-ray player. Do you realize that you're getting a gaming system + Blu-ray player? Good standalone Blu-Ray players are $600+ if you're lucky. If you don't like your PS3, I'll send you $100 + shipping for yours and some pictures of something nice.

You're pissed because you can illegally download games onto your computer? Then why even bitch. If you don't like the virtual console then fuck it. Play it on your computer then.

The PS3 and the Wii are far beyond the Xbox 360 as far as features go. You sound like a little girl who didn't get her pony on her birthday.

Steve
2nd December 06, 12:10 PM
And of course you have first hand experience, making your point...?

Shut up, and let those that have used them tell us about it.

Sirc
2nd December 06, 12:18 PM
And of course you have first hand experience, making your point...?

Shut up, and let those that have used them tell us about it.

Um.. I DO though.

Steve
2nd December 06, 01:27 PM
You have a PS3 and a Wii?

Or you are saying that you've mucked around with a friend's PS3/Wii?

WarPhalange
2nd December 06, 02:54 PM
So you're saying the expectation to suck gives it a free pass to suck? So I should also forgive Sony because their launch lineup was expected to be lackluster?

No.


No, dumbass, you get what you pay for. If you payed $600 for a system that says its hardware is incredible and you get a droopy pile of shit, you should be pissed.

But if you pay $250 for the system and the system is stating "yeah, this won't be much more advanced than the Game Cube" then you shouldn't expect it to be high-end in any way.

What you did is buy cheap Safeway chocolate ice cream and get pissed when it doesn't taste like gormet vanilla ice cream. In other words, you're an idiot.

And you're right. Lol the airforce. Your branch of service is much more impressive. Oh... wait.

Physics isn't a branch of service. It takes all who wish to join and holds no grudges when one wishes to leave. It also does not force one to do things one does not wish to do, i.e. suck.

ICY
2nd December 06, 03:17 PM
And you're right. Lol the airforce. Your branch of service is much more impressive.

Science>Military

Steve
2nd December 06, 04:33 PM
Physics isn't a branch of service. It takes all who wish to join and holds no grudges when one wishes to leave. It also does not force one to do things one does not wish to do, i.e. suck.

But it makes the planes fly....?

Letum
2nd December 06, 09:49 PM
Indeed, Physics > all.

However that is irrelevent to the current topic. I'm avoiding both consoles since I don't play alot and have yet to purchase a 360.

ThaiBoxerShorts
2nd December 06, 10:43 PM
But it makes the planes fly....?
I thought Jesus carried them in his loving, giant, invisible hands.

Which is why they're shaped like crosses.

Steve
3rd December 06, 05:38 AM
That's just silly.

WarPhalange
3rd December 06, 04:25 PM
Jesus sucks. All of his friends got killed because of him. What a weirdo.

jubei33
4th December 06, 07:23 AM
so is the Wii's controller as gimicky as it seems or is it actually used during gameplay in zelda? It seems pretty good for sports games, but I dont see it as more than a gimick as opposed to the foundation of a whole system.

EuropIan
4th December 06, 10:13 AM
Many video game -reviewers refer to the Wii as "that zelda playing machine". As far as I have heard the controls for Zelda are pretty responsive. This is almost a givin since developed by Nintendo itsself. However any third party developers (ie. Ubisoft) are going to have a tough time getting used to develop for this new controller (see: Red Steel)

Also re: PS3 the blu-ray player:

If Sony is so damn set on bringing in the new HD era, why the hell does it ship with a stanard SCART? Where are the component cables?

The X360 is indeed going into it's second generation of games. When Sony does this. we'll probably see stuff close what square's Final Fantasy trailer.

WarPhalange
4th December 06, 05:35 PM
I hear the DBZ game for Wii and Wii Sports are really good. Yeah, the DBZ game is really good. Who'da thunk it?

Cormoran
5th December 06, 11:54 AM
If it becomes succesful, is their any technical limitation in the xbox360 and PS3 that'd stop sony and microsoft from simply copying the idea of the wii controller for their consoles?

WarPhalange
5th December 06, 10:21 PM
I believe it's called a "patent".

Cormoran
6th December 06, 07:56 AM
How do you patent the idea of using motion to control gaming functions? there's quite a few kids games out now that plug directly into the tv that uses this idea of motion to control the game.

Sure you can patent the device that does it but sony and MS don't have to make an exact replica of the wii controller.

WarPhalange
6th December 06, 06:02 PM
You can patent the setup I'm sure. Unless they plan to make a different layout and stuff.

But more importantly, people will be able to tell that it's just a stupid copy of the Wii. And little bitches like MJS will start complaining that moving your wrist in a repetative manner is too hard. Pfft, like he's not used to it by now.

frumpleswift
6th December 06, 06:07 PM
How do you patent the idea of using motion to control gaming functions? there's quite a few kids games out now that plug directly into the tv that uses this idea of motion to control the game.

Sure you can patent the device that does it but sony and MS don't have to make an exact replica of the wii controller.

Many of the Wii concepts would fall under the branch of patents referred to as "Business Process" patents. Basically the concept and execution, if considered "novel" enough, could be patentable.

I'll bet the heavy use of accelerometers is new to just about any game controller device.

Also, the PS3 has already copied some of the features of the Wii-mote. Though there is nothing new in video game companies stealing Nintendo's controller inovations.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
6th December 06, 07:30 PM
Though there is nothing new in video game companies stealing Nintendo's controller inovations.

Am I the only one tired of hearing this?

frumpleswift
6th December 06, 08:47 PM
Am I the only one tired of hearing this?

In the same way I'm tired of people whining about how Bush really lost in 2000. It happens to be true, but shut up already.

Truculent Sheep
7th December 06, 12:57 PM
Playstations are fragile and badly designed. Cheap and nasty, they have a choke-hold over the gaming industry. Still, the PS2 looks cheap now...

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
7th December 06, 02:45 PM
Playstations are fragile and badly designed. Cheap and nasty, they have a choke-hold over the gaming industry. Still, the PS2 looks cheap now...

Fragility is a non-issue with PS2s (or the other past- or current-gen systems) under any reasonable circumstances, the only issue they had (the gear) has been fixed, and there's no other real problem with the system itself.

lrn2troll

Truculent Sheep
7th December 06, 03:21 PM
Well, the ones on sale in the UK - including the 'fixed' ones - keep breaking down, and not just because my brother keeps breaking them.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
7th December 06, 05:08 PM
"well, i think there's a problem, but i'm not really sure"

shut up jew

Steve
8th December 06, 04:23 AM
Why don't you shoot him with an arrow while your at it.

Dagon Akujin
9th December 06, 04:22 PM
From the mouth of Maddox himself: (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sony_bullshit)


I'm tired of Sony's bullshit.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/sony_bullshit_anim4.gif

You may know Sony most readily as the company that recently recalled something on the order of every laptop battery ever made because of a small glitch (they explode). Then there was the "rootkit" debacle, where Sony secretly installed hidden bullshit on your computer. One of Sony BMG's presidents handled the situation with the delicacy of a gang rape with this quote: "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?" Good point, shit-head! And before that, Sony was known for its shitty optical drives in their PS2s, resulting in a class action lawsuit. The word "shitty" in the previous sentence is a bit misleading, since I also use the word to describe Renée Zellweger's life, and having to void your warranty by adjusting a cog to fix a misaligned laser inside your PS2 is slightly shittier.

Not content with the reaming they give consumers with their shoddy products and condescending attitude, Sony determined that it didn't have enough bad press, so they decided to wield their giant gnarled cock of corporate greed again, this time training it on a small-time import shop called "Lik Sang." Lik Sang was a haven for nerds who wanted to import games and systems from other countries. It turns out that Lik Sang broke some major laws that not only earned them the scorn of Sony, but pissed Sony off to the point where they sued Lik Sang into oblivion. So what was this grave infraction committed against Sony that not only threatened the very foundation of this giant multi-national corporation, but warranted destroying the lives and careers of a group of dorks running a gaming website? Simple: they committed the mortal sin of selling Japanese PSPs to European gamers. Oh no! Not that!

When I read the law suit, I did a double take to make sure I read it correctly. Sony is suing to prevent people from selling PSPs? Great move, morons! Because if there's anything Sony needs right now, it's fewer people buying PSPs. In fact, PSP sales are part of the reason Sony expects to lose $1.7 billion dollars in their gaming division by March. That means that I and anyone else who makes any money at all between now and March (or at least manages not to lose more than $1,699,999,999.99) will officially make more money than Sony's gaming division. I rule.

This isn't the first time Sony bullied a gaming website for selling PSP imports. In June of 2005, Sony sued a website called ElectricBirdLand (Sony literally hired men in dark sunglasses to deliver the papers to the defendant, because Sony is insecure about the size of its penis), stating that the sale of Japanese PSPs to the UK could hurt their ability to exploit the "excitement and anticipation of the market." Hey Sony, you know what else could help you exploit the excitement and anticipation of the market? The PSP not sucking:

Sony's strategy towards portable gaming seems to be to take the same shitty first generation Playstation games that weren't great to begin with, and make them portable so now we can take an example of Sony's utter-inability-to-stop-sucking with us everywhere we go. Nobody wants to buy movies in your stupid proprietary format, assholes!

So why does a company that relies on consumer satisfaction and brand recognition treat its fans with such contempt? Because...

Sony hates you.

Sony would love nothing more than to see you and your family suffer. Sony is like that psycho-ex who you had a few good times with, but was too clingy and the sex got boring. Now it's over and Sony is still stewing about it by leaving you voice mail asking for another chance and promising it "can change."

Tough shit Sony. We've moved on. We're dating your younger, hotter sister, Wii. Even your fuglier step-sister, Xbox 360, looks hotter than you do. At least she's been around the block a few times and knows how to turn tricks. You've got nothing, and it's going to stay that way until you stop being a crabby old cunt.

WarPhalange
9th December 06, 06:03 PM
It's cool to hate Sony now!

Dagon Akujin
9th December 06, 06:51 PM
It's cool to hate Sony now!

If you could help my PSP suck less, it wouldn't be as cool.

MEGA JESUS-SAMA
9th December 06, 07:02 PM
Agreeing with Maddox is basically being wrong.

WarPhalange
9th December 06, 07:02 PM
But dude, you can watch movies on your PSP! Where else can you possibly watch movies!?

Dagon Akujin
9th December 06, 07:15 PM
But dude, you can watch movies on your PSP! Where else can you possibly watch movies!?

On my portable DVD player? It's screen is like, 5 times bigger, too. And I don't even have to buy the movies for it, since I already own them.

Dagon

jubei33
10th December 06, 03:12 AM
Agreeing with Maddox is basically being wrong.

Nah hes right. Their whole marketing scheme is about establishing their formats as dominate. Plus the absurd and invasive anti piracy countermeasures are big reasons sony sucks. This isn't just with gaming either, its also the same with all of their portable media devices. The sonicstage software is so so as far as use goes, but it also limits what kinds of songs you can play and controls any song not tagged with their DRM labels.

Dagon Akujin
10th December 06, 03:16 AM
How Sony treats its fans. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in02LCdufUc)
in02LCdufUc

Truculent Sheep
10th December 06, 02:45 PM
"well, i think there's a problem, but i'm not really sure"

shut up jew

No, what I said was 'the PS2 is over-rated and defective' - a bit like you, then, but at least I can use it as a bookend when it goes tits up.

Anyway, I'm not a Jew. I eat bacon and everything. I even light fires on the Sabbath. Oh yes!

EuropIan
12th December 06, 02:22 AM
MJ SAN's trolling is so close to fanboydom it's funny.


Sony will sell ps3s.. But they won't make profits until about 2008. Will it be too late for them then? Who knows? However, we all know that when FF XIII is released, Japanese people will riot and buy ps3s like the little consumer droids they are..This has nothing to do with it being a ps3. Rather, think of the ps3 as "that final fantasy machine"
Also, color mepissed about the ps3 getting all the new fighters (VF5, Tekken 6 and supposedly an arcade port of Tekken 5 Dark Ressurection)... grrrr.

Wii is causing the right kind of hype and flying of the shelves (in a magnitude far greater than ps3), will it outsell their DS? Not likely. (to be fair. Currently, the Wii is thought of as "that Zelda playing machine with extra minigames")

Steve
12th December 06, 03:32 AM
The Wii is the one ring to rule them all.

Your own confusing post explains it.

Airman Kai
13th December 06, 01:10 AM
Whatever. They're both garbage as of this point. The Wii is (and will probably always be) a gaming machine for non-gamers. The PS3, as somebody already mentioned, is intended to be a vessel that will deliver crappy japanese games to stupid japanese consumers.

I had all three consoles last cycle, and this time I've lost just about all confidence I once had for both Sony and Nintendo. I have to admit, though, that if the two upcoming final fantasy games are anything to get excited about... I'll probably get a Playstation3. Not really seeing much on the Nintendo side to motivate me.

Dagon Akujin
13th December 06, 01:20 AM
Whatever. They're both garbage as of this point. The Wii is (and will probably always be) a gaming machine for non-gamers. The PS3, as somebody already mentioned, is intended to be a vessel that will deliver crappy japanese games to stupid japanese consumers.

I had all three consoles last cycle, and this time I've lost just about all confidence I once had for both Sony and Nintendo. I have to admit, though, that if the two upcoming final fantasy games are anything to get excited about... I'll probably get a Playstation3. Not really seeing much on the Nintendo side to motivate me.

Here's the other things I've noticed though that should be an important factor in deciding what console is best for you: WII HELPS YOU SCORED WITH A CHICKS!

No, seriously. Girls don't like video-game nerds or guys who get off on animated boobies. So the 360 and PS3 are out for them. The Wii, however? Every girl I talk to loves it.

Dagon

Airman Kai
13th December 06, 01:28 AM
Here's the other things I've noticed though that should be an important factor in deciding what console is best for you: WII HELPS YOU SCORED WITH A CHICKS!

No, seriously. Girls don't like video-game nerds or guys who get off on animated boobies. So the 360 and PS3 are out for them. The Wii, however? Every girl I talk to loves it.

Dagon

NO. Just NO.

You don't spend your time with women showing them your Nintendo. You spend it with women while not bringing up video games at all. Because Nintendo doesn't appeal to WOMEN, it appeals to GIRLS.

Steve
13th December 06, 01:46 AM
I'll spend my time with the GIRLS that you mention.

Repost, just for the fun of it:

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/Wiigirl06.gif

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/Wiigirl01.gif

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/Wiigirl03.gif

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/Wiigirl04.gif

http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i141/forstevee/Wiigirl05.gif