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kungfujew
5th September 06, 12:15 PM
1. Tool fucking rocks in concert.

2. Maynard is a godamn beefcake

2a. Maynard has t3h [email protected] horse-stance (I think he does BJJ too)

3. Concert Ho's rock

3a. There are no attractive, single women in the greater Bay Area.

4. If every third person around you has a lit joint, you might not get a contact high, but you WILL get contact munchies.

5. If you go over to a woman's house to hang out and you want to make an impression, you WILL get a terrible case of gas the moment you walk in the door.

frumpleswift
5th September 06, 01:05 PM
1. Tool fucking rocks in concert.

Amen brother.

2. Maynard is a godamn beefcake

Um...you like pegging so much you want to try the real deal?

2a. Maynard has t3h [email protected] horse-stance (I think he does BJJ too)

He does.

3. Concert Ho's rock

Ah Tool rotties :)

3a. There are no attractive, single women in the greater Bay Area.

I am NOT giving you my phonebook, no matter how much you whine.

4. If every third person around you has a lit joint, you might not get a contact high, but you WILL get contact munchies.

I would get contact highs in my college dorm. No need for a concert.

5. If you go over to a woman's house to hang out and you want to make an impression, you WILL get a terrible case of gas the moment you walk in the door.

Now that is funny...

Halfrican
5th September 06, 02:13 PM
Maynard is a purple belt in BJJ trained by Rickson Gracie

kungfujew
5th September 06, 02:13 PM
1. Tool fucking rocks in concert.

Amen brother.

2. Maynard is a godamn beefcake

Um...you like pegging so much you want to try the real deal?

2a. Maynard has t3h [email protected] horse-stance (I think he does BJJ too)

He does.

3. Concert Ho's rock

Ah Tool rotties :)

3a. There are no attractive, single women in the greater Bay Area.

I am NOT giving you my phonebook, no matter how much you whine.

4. If every third person around you has a lit joint, you might not get a contact high, but you WILL get contact munchies.

I would get contact highs in my college dorm. No need for a concert.

5. If you go over to a woman's house to hang out and you want to make an impression, you WILL get a terrible case of gas the moment you walk in the door.

Now that is funny...

Maynard's entreaty to the mosh pit at the start of the concert:
"And you guys down there... what are you guys doing? You like knocking into people? Or maybe you just like rubbing up against other guys... (said in a creepily homoerotic tone)".

Sadly I don't think Maynard would ever get with a low-life like me...

Oh, observation #6:
Gay men, like Italians, know how to have a godamn good time just about anywhere. These two uber-built Castro types were a few rows up and they were rocking out like you wouldn't believe...

Halfrican
5th September 06, 02:15 PM
If you weren't on the floor, you weren't at a Tool concert.

kungfujew
5th September 06, 02:17 PM
If you weren't on the floor, you weren't at a Tool concert.

1. I'm there for the music, and I'd like to be able to hear more music after I leave.

2. Floor tickets are fucking pricey as hell.

frumpleswift
5th September 06, 02:19 PM
My wife was at an early APC concert (before Mer de Noms was released). People expecting Tool started moshing. Maynard stopped playing and berated the audience for beating on each other while he played love songs, and refused to start playing again until they had calmed down.

I was also at a Tool concert with two 5'4" girls. I spent the whole time trying to keep them from getting crushed under the boots of a bunch of violent stoned moshers.

kungfujew
5th September 06, 02:22 PM
My wife was at an early APC concert (before Mer de Noms was released). People expecting Tool started moshing. Maynard stopped playing and absconded the audience, and refused to start playing again until they had calmed down.

Exactly. You can mosh at a fucking Pantera concert. You go to an APC concert, listen to the godamn music and stop massaging broken glass into the poor fat kid getting tossed around the pit.

Zendetta
6th September 06, 09:17 PM
THat was a sweet show! Oakland never saw so many pasty white folks in one place before either.

It got really cool about 2/3rds into it when they turned on the BIG light show and/or the drugs kicked in.

Next time they play the Town, my team of Ninjas is going to get floor tickets, pick out our best warrior, start moshing, and then hurl our champion over the heads of the security staff onto the stage to grapple with Maynard himself.

Jew, you wanna get in on this? We're probably gonna need a good Lawyer.

frumpleswift
6th September 06, 09:25 PM
The last time I saw tool in concert Maynard started off dressed like a Fundamentalist Preacher, and started preaching to the audience about helfire.

About halfway through Eulogy he stripped down to a sports-bra that had cleavage built into it.

Strange weird little man he is.

Shawarma
6th September 06, 09:47 PM
Heh, in the forum overview, this thread is titled "Observations of a tool....by Frumpleswift."

frumpleswift
6th September 06, 10:04 PM
Heh, in the forum overview, this thread is titled "Observations of a tool....by Frumpleswift."

Are you asking me to observe you?

kungfujew
7th September 06, 12:30 AM
Zen, you were at the concert? Holy shit, we could have had an impromptu throwdown ^ ^

Zendetta
7th September 06, 02:08 PM
Fuck Yeah! Good show, too.

The dudes I was there with were on a lot of strange drugs, and they both love to scrap, so a throwdown would've gone over quite well.

Then you could have come over to my Oakland penthouse for more drug abuse and martial arts, rather than just cutting the cheese at your would-be paramour's pad!

kungfujew
7th September 06, 02:36 PM
Fuck Yeah! Good show, too.

The dudes I was there with were on a lot of strange drugs, and they both love to scrap, so a throwdown would've gone over quite well.

Then you could have come over to my Oakland penthouse for more drug abuse and martial arts, rather than just cutting the cheese at your would-be paramour's pad!

Dammit! Well maybe I'll see you at the October BA throwdown...
Oh, and an unrelated (well... mostly unrelated) observation:
Why do you always feel the need to take a dump right after you get out of the shower?

Greese
8th September 06, 12:26 PM
If you weren't on the floor, it doesn't count.
What sucks about tool is they are so god damn huge here that the tickets for their KC show sold out in 5 minutes.

I did see APC when they had James Iha on Guitar and Twiggy on Bass...talk about a 90's alternative fans wet dream.

Seriously...I almost came.

kungfujew
8th September 06, 12:28 PM
If you weren't on the floor, it doesn't count.
What sucks about tool is they are so god damn huge here that the tickets for their KC show sold out in 5 minutes.

I did see APC when they had James Iha on Guitar and Twiggy on Bass...talk about a 90's alternative fans wet dream.

Seriously...I almost came.

If you weren't actually cumming, it doesn't count.

frumpleswift
8th September 06, 12:39 PM
If you weren't actually cumming, it doesn't count.

I saved my splooge from both APC concerts I went to. You want me to mail you the pants?

kungfujew
8th September 06, 12:58 PM
I saved my splooge from both APC concerts I went to. You want me to mail you the pants?

Photographic evidence and a DNA test will suffice.