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View Full Version : Paris Hilton to Bury Goat Next to Marylin Monroe



Phrost
11th August 06, 10:04 PM
LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Paris Hilton has bought the plot next to Marilyn Monroe's grave to bury her pet goat.

The 25-year-old has reportedly booked a plot in Hollywood's Pierce Bros Westwood Village Memorial Park next to her screen idol.

It is also alleged that she has booked a gospel choir to perform at a private funeral at Los Angeles' International Church of Christ.

A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "It's absolutely disgusting. Paris booked the plot for a 'Billy Hilton'.

"Everybody was very understanding because they presumed it was one of her relatives.

"But it has transpired that it's just an old goat. Normal people are content to bury their pets in the garden and be done with it. But not Paris.

"This is one of the most prestigious cemeteries in the world, it's not for animals.

"It should be reserved for superstars."

Hollywood legends Truman Capote, Dean Martin and Jack Lemmon are also buried in the cemetery.

Steve
11th August 06, 10:09 PM
I wish I could say that I'm surprised.

She'll probably bury her pet chihuahua in a full sized plot too.

Still, that is quite a bit of stupidity combined with insensitivity. I'm sure her favorite movie star would love to have Paris' old goat buried next to her.

mrblackmagic
11th August 06, 10:17 PM
Why is it every time I wake up from a nap, the world becomes a little bit worse?

Phrost
11th August 06, 10:21 PM
As much as we all hate her, you've got to admit that's fucking funny.

Steve
11th August 06, 10:35 PM
As much as we all hate her, you've got to admit that's fucking funny.

Of course it's funny, anything with goats is automatically funny.

Hence my sig link.

Phrost
12th August 06, 12:43 AM
Dugg!

http://digg.com/celebrity/Paris_Hilton_to_Bury_Goat_Next_to_Marylin_Monroe

Steve
12th August 06, 12:53 AM
Hey Phrost, is there a way to keep track of threads that are submitted to Digg or del.icio.us?

A tag of some sort maybe?

WarPhalange
12th August 06, 02:15 AM
I think the best part is that God doesn't listen to the prayers of a goat, and hence it will go to Hell. Up yours, Paris!

DAYoung
12th August 06, 03:34 AM
I think the best part is that God doesn't listen to the prayers of a goat, and hence it will go to Hell. Up yours, Paris!

No, no - Jesus said 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'

Feta? Hello?

Steve
12th August 06, 03:42 AM
F3T4FTW.

It rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

DAYoung
12th August 06, 03:43 AM
F3T4FTW.

It rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

Scary, this internet-speak.

I can only do it ironically - and even then I feel dirty.

Steve
12th August 06, 03:48 AM
Don't worry.

You're a quick study.

And you'll get used to it...... whore.

DAYoung
12th August 06, 03:52 AM
Don't worry.

You're a quick study.

And you'll get used to it...... whore.

LINGUISTIC PROSTITUTION...

WITH sfe AS MY PIMP.

NO!

Steve
12th August 06, 03:55 AM
WINNAR!!!

yay, me!

Kiko
12th August 06, 06:04 AM
I think the best part is that God doesn't listen to the prayers of a goat, and hence it will go to Hell. Up yours, Paris!
Yep, sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell anyhow. It's in the bible!

Kiko
12th August 06, 06:57 AM
Just found this (http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/08/11/D8JEI3VO0.html).
" Paris Hilton got no love this week from her pet kinkajou Baby Luv _ in fact, the racoon-like animal bit her...."

I love karma in action!

mrblackmagic
12th August 06, 07:49 AM
Who owns a kinkajou???

Aside from anyone who flames KFJ.

Artful Dentures
12th August 06, 08:25 AM
Anyone ever see the South Park episode with Paris where all her animals kill themselves and she buys butters to be her pet?

Steve
12th August 06, 03:02 PM
Who owns a kinkajou???

Aside from anyone who flames KFJ.

Who wouldn't want to own a kinkajou???

http://educ.csmv.qc.ca/MgrParent/vieanimale/mam/kinkajou/kamakinkajou.jpg

Kiko
12th August 06, 03:05 PM
Probably better than her boyfriends...
I'd rather have a bush baby!
http://www.cercopan.org/images/gallery%20bush%20baby.jpg

kungfujew
12th August 06, 03:07 PM
http://www.dailypepper.com/mt/archives/zorak.bmp

Spaceghost: Zorak, what are you doing with that goat?
Zorak: Uuuh... milkin' it.
Spaceghost: Moltar?
Moltar: Uuuh... looks like he's milkin' it!

Steve
12th August 06, 03:08 PM
OH MY GAWD, THAT IS SO QUTE!!!1!

<ahem> Meh, it looks like I'd kill it if I accidentally sat on it...

edit: and yes, I mean both pictures.

edit again: well, mostly the bush baby...

mrblackmagic
12th August 06, 03:15 PM
Who wouldn't want to own a kinkajou???

http://educ.csmv.qc.ca/MgrParent/vieanimale/mam/kinkajou/kamakinkajou.jpg

In time, my vaudeville-esque humor will be appreciated.

Kiko
12th August 06, 03:20 PM
*hits mrblackmagic in the face with a pie and then squirts him with a seltzer bottle*

Steve
12th August 06, 04:01 PM
ha ha ha!

Neildo
12th August 06, 04:16 PM
Wow, just when I thought that skinny ho was the stupidest bitch ever, she pulls this shit.

Not even her own dumb ass is good enough to be buried next to Marilyn.

mrblackmagic
12th August 06, 04:48 PM
*hits mrblackmagic in the face with a pie and then squirts him with a seltzer bottle*

OOOOOOOO! You! Why I ought ta.......

Shawarma
12th August 06, 07:11 PM
Gotta say this for Mrs. Hilton: Her PR agent is fucking good at what he does.

Think about it. Do you really think she does all this dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, or is she just cultivating the image of dumb rich bitch that gives her publicity and fame and allows her to cash in on it by marketing shit CD's, shit movies and shit perfumes and the like? I think she is well aware of how she is perceived, and has also managed to build a career on it. She's the kind of person that would drop ALL her clothes at the superbowl on purpose, no one-tit half-assing here. I think she's a lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for, or at least her handlers are.

DAYoung
12th August 06, 07:17 PM
Gotta say this for Mrs. Hilton: Her PR agent is fucking good at what he does.

Think about it. Do you really think she does all this dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, or is she just cultivating the image of dumb rich bitch that gives her publicity and fame and allows her to cash in on it by marketing shit CD's, shit movies and shit perfumes and the like? I think she is well aware of how she is perceived, and has also managed to build a career on it. She's the kind of person that would drop ALL her clothes at the superbowl on purpose, no one-tit half-assing here. I think she's a lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for, or at least her handlers are.

I think the word is 'canny'.

Diggler McFeely
12th August 06, 08:51 PM
Goat ... Greatest Of All Time. Elite graveyard. Am I the only one seeing the humor in this? (Apparently so.)

WarPhalange
12th August 06, 09:12 PM
Wow, just when I thought that skinny ho was the stupidest bitch ever, she pulls this shit.

Not even her own dumb ass is good enough to be buried next to Marilyn.

I'd rather be burried next to a goat than her.

mrblackmagic
12th August 06, 09:13 PM
Gotta say this for Mrs. Hilton: Her PR agent is fucking good at what he does.

Think about it. Do you really think she does all this dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, or is she just cultivating the image of dumb rich bitch that gives her publicity and fame and allows her to cash in on it by marketing shit CD's, shit movies and shit perfumes and the like? I think she is well aware of how she is perceived, and has also managed to build a career on it. She's the kind of person that would drop ALL her clothes at the superbowl on purpose, no one-tit half-assing here. I think she's a lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for, or at least her handlers are.

Well she is a member of MENSA. Proving once and for all book smarts aren't everything.

DAYoung
12th August 06, 09:15 PM
Goat ... Greatest Of All Time. Elite graveyard. Am I the only one seeing the humor in this? (Apparently so.)

No. I had the same thought.

Then I thought of Mausolos, and the Pharaohs, and the barrows of Celtic chiefs.

And wept for us...

Steve
13th August 06, 03:52 AM
Can we all agree that she should just shut up?

Ragout
14th August 06, 01:30 AM
Probably better than her boyfriends...
I'd rather have a bush baby!


You forgot a comma.

And if you quit waxing it every week, you will eventually have one.

AAAhmed46
14th August 06, 02:20 AM
Gotta say this for Mrs. Hilton: Her PR agent is fucking good at what he does.

Think about it. Do you really think she does all this dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, or is she just cultivating the image of dumb rich bitch that gives her publicity and fame and allows her to cash in on it by marketing shit CD's, shit movies and shit perfumes and the like? I think she is well aware of how she is perceived, and has also managed to build a career on it. She's the kind of person that would drop ALL her clothes at the superbowl on purpose, no one-tit half-assing here. I think she's a lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for, or at least her handlers are.

You beat me to it.

Kiko
14th August 06, 06:27 AM
You forgot a comma.

And if you quit waxing it every week, you will eventually have one.
Ka-zing! You're mistaking me for someone who shall remain nameless, Rags. Nice to see you over here tho!

I prefer the semi-natural look, thanks.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 06:33 AM
I prefer the semi-natural look, thanks.

Do excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is the 'the semi-natural look'?

frumpleswift
14th August 06, 09:46 AM
Well she is a member of MENSA. Proving once and for all book smarts aren't everything.

Or proving that MENSA will allow in any old riff-raff these days, not like the International Society for Philosophical Enquiry or the Prometheus society. Now, they have standards. Top 2% indeed.

But seriously, can you back up the idea that she is a member of MENSA?

mrblackmagic
14th August 06, 10:49 AM
Sadly, no. American MENSA did not "avow any said persons" when I e-mailed them a few years ago. I think this is why. (http://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/23/fashion/23PARI.html?ex=1384923600&en=5d860d0be70e9df8&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND)
Even if it is a hoax, it was published by the New York Times. Bad f'in PR.

I didn't feel like trying aftwards. It didn't seem worth the effort.

frumpleswift
14th August 06, 11:21 AM
Sadly, no. American MENSA did not "avow any said persons" when I e-mailed them a few years ago. I think this is why. (http://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/23/fashion/23PARI.html?ex=1384923600&en=5d860d0be70e9df8&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND)
Even if it is a hoax, it was published by the New York Times. Bad f'in PR.

I didn't feel like trying aftwards. It didn't seem worth the effort.

All of the people I have met who were members of MENSA were huge dicks about it. They had this "I'm a member of MENSA, I must be smarter than you" attitude. It soured any aspirations of membership I may have entertained.

mrblackmagic
14th August 06, 01:00 PM
Well if passing a test consisting of some math problems and brain teasers makes you a genius, we're do I sign up. I wonder if they have dues?

Kiko
14th August 06, 04:36 PM
Do excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is the 'the semi-natural look'?
Gently and lightly trimmed. I don't think I need to get anymore descriptive. We've only known one another for a short time, you know.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 04:46 PM
Gently and lightly trimmed. I don't think I need to get anymore descriptive. We've only known one another for a short time, you know.

Oh, I get it now. Covered all-over but neat.

http://www.unionhotelvictmansion.com/images/hedge_path_small.jpg

Kiko
14th August 06, 05:06 PM
Ahem. Are you implying what I think you're implying?

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:18 PM
Ahem. Are you implying what I think you're implying?

I doubt it.

I was trying to see if I understood correctly, without actually posting a picture of a vulva on the forum.

As the word 'twat' is derived from 'twitchell', meaning 'a path between hedges', I thought that this might make a substitute.

It's covered - neither bare nor overgrown.

kungfujew
14th August 06, 05:23 PM
I doubt it.

I was trying to see if I understood correctly, without actually posting a picture of a vulva on the forum.

As the word 'twat' is derived from 'twitchell', meaning 'a path between hedges', I thought that this might make a substitute.

It's covered - neither bare nor overgrown.

But if you're allergic it'll give you a nasty rash, not to mention all the spiders and things living in it. Wait, you're not talking about shrubberies at all!!

Kiko
14th August 06, 05:24 PM
'Twas the traffic on the path I was alluding to. Anyhow.. er.. nice euphemism.

I'll never look at a hedgerow the same way now. Nor be able to call anyone a twat-waffle with the same intonation!

Isn't your avatar cold?

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:27 PM
'Twas the traffic on the path I was alluding to. Anyhow.. er.. nice euphemism.

I'll never look at a hedgerow the same way now. Nor be able to call anyone a twat-waffle with the same intonation!

Thanks. It's one of my favourite bits of etymology.


Isn't your avatar cold?

'Twas a beautiful sunny morning.

mrblackmagic
14th August 06, 05:38 PM
DAYoung? Your avatar is missing a few bits and by bits I mean your clothes.

Kiko
14th August 06, 05:40 PM
If indeed that is himself. My those are an awful lot of books!

kungfujew
14th August 06, 05:42 PM
Holy crap I think it is him. The wife took that, didn't she?

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:48 PM
DAYoung? Your avatar is missing a few bits and by bits I mean your clothes.

Lap it up.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:49 PM
If indeed that is himself. My those are an awful lot of books!

History and politics/sociology shelves.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:49 PM
Holy crap I think it is him. The wife took that, didn't she?

She did indeed.

My wife, that is.

Steve
14th August 06, 05:52 PM
History and politics/sociology shelves.

It's winter there for goodness sakes!!

Isn't shrinkage an issue down under?

Kiko
14th August 06, 05:55 PM
Pay attention, he said it was a SUNNY morning.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 05:56 PM
It's winter there for goodness sakes!!

Isn't shrinkage an issue down under?

It's from summer, a year or so ago.

We're living in a new house now.

But yes, it is an issue...

kungfujew
14th August 06, 06:00 PM
Only it shrinks in the *opposite* direction, what with it being in the Southern hemisphere.

DAYoung
14th August 06, 06:04 PM
Only it shrinks in the *opposite* direction, what with it being in the Southern hemisphere.

I don't know what that means, but I'm a little frightened.

kungfujew
14th August 06, 06:06 PM
I don't know what that means, but I'm a little frightened.

You know, like the toilets flushing the other way!

DAYoung
14th August 06, 06:17 PM
You know, like the toilets flushing the other way!

http://users.bigpond.net.au/dancorp/LOTW/angry.jpg

kungfujew
14th August 06, 06:25 PM
http://users.bigpond.net.au/dancorp/LOTW/angry.jpg

Muhammed? Is that you? Would an enema help?

mrblackmagic
14th August 06, 06:33 PM
She did indeed.

My wife, that is.

What is the actual meaning of that picture?

Was there a meaning or was it just "honey, don't be alarmed. I'm going to take your picture. Continue reading naked."

DAYoung
14th August 06, 06:35 PM
What is the actual meaning of that picture?

Was there a meaning or was it just "honey, don't be alarmed. I'm going to take your picture. Continue reading naked."

It was a lovely sunny morning, light streaming through the windows into the hallway and onto the floorboards. I woke up and needed to read something in the hsitory section. My wife thought that the light and the eccentricity of the moment would make for a nice photo.

Letum
24th November 06, 06:26 PM
Wasn't Monroe a cheap whore anyway?

Steve
24th November 06, 06:51 PM
Monroe is an Icon, Paris' goat isn't.

And even if you insist that Monroe was a cheap whore, Paris' goat wasn't, so it still shouldn't be buried there.

Now, maybe Paris... Ah but wait, she's an expensive whore.

So that won't work either.

Sirc
24th November 06, 07:26 PM
I bet that on her deathbed, Paris Hilton will confess that every act of stupidity that she ever did was a calculated act to garner attention. That she just lead the entire world on her life long joke to prove some philosophical point about materialism and greed. I bet she's a super genius and is just taking us all for the biggest ride of our lives.

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN BE THIS BLATANTLY RETARDED.

Kiko
24th November 06, 09:19 PM
Sure they can. If they're a poor nobody no one ever cares. If they're wealthy, we all have to put up with their shenanigans.

Steve
24th November 06, 09:35 PM
Now I feel even worse for the goat...

It had to put up with Paris' shenanigans, while the poor idiot would have put the goat to work.

AAAhmed46
25th November 06, 01:17 AM
So...how did paris become a celebrety again?

Steve
25th November 06, 01:19 AM
Um, her last name is Hilton.

WarPhalange
25th November 06, 01:32 AM
I bet that on her deathbed, Paris Hilton will confess that every act of stupidity that she ever did was a calculated act to garner attention. That she just lead the entire world on her life long joke to prove some philosophical point about materialism and greed. I bet she's a super genius and is just taking us all for the biggest ride of our lives.

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN BE THIS BLATANTLY RETARDED.

That's what they said about Bush.

AAAhmed46
25th November 06, 01:35 AM
But i never heard of her until she fucked some guy in that freaking tape, and then she landed roles where she sucked at.

Steve
25th November 06, 01:37 AM
That's what they said about Bush.

No, that's what they will say about Bush.

Steve
25th November 06, 01:42 AM
But i never heard of her until she fucked some guy in that freaking tape, and then she landed roles where she sucked at.

You've just explained why she's famous.

WarPhalange
25th November 06, 02:17 AM
No, that's what they will say about Bush.

Well I'm saying it now.

Steve
25th November 06, 04:00 AM
K.

DAYoung
25th November 06, 06:45 AM
K.


But the hands of one of the gentleman were laid on K.'s throat,
while the other pushed the knife deep into his heart and twisted it
there, twice. As his eyesight failed, K. saw the two gentlemen cheek by
cheek, close in front of his face, watching the result. "Like a dog!" he
said, it was as if the shame of it should outlive him.

Kiko
25th November 06, 07:44 AM
NOT AGAIN!!

AAAhmed46
25th November 06, 05:16 PM
I want to see paris replaced by someone better looking.

WarPhalange
25th November 06, 07:40 PM
http://www.artlex.com/ArtLex/uv/images/ugly_guyshead.jpeg

AAAhmed46
25th November 06, 10:03 PM
That picture keeps coming back to haunt me again and again.

Teh El Macho
25th November 06, 10:08 PM
Why is it that Paris loved that goat so much???? (*** evil grin ***)

Anyways, as funny as it is, one has to be a senseless, pampered bitch, disconnected from the real world to not only bury a goat like that, but to hire a fucking choir??? What the fuck is the choir going to sing like? BEEEEEHHH, BEHHHHH....

WarPhalange
25th November 06, 10:17 PM
Mythodea?

Teh El Macho
25th November 06, 10:28 PM
That rhymes with gonorrhea.

WarPhalange
26th November 06, 01:49 AM
I should neg rep you for that.

Steve
26th November 06, 04:29 AM
i-xq8Mnw1gg

Shawarma
26th November 06, 09:05 AM
Fainting goats rule.

Anyway, Mrs. Hilton appears to be attention whoring (as opposed to regular whoring), something she is very good at. And look where it's gotten her to.

Steve
26th November 06, 09:25 AM
You didn't tell me that fainting goats 'rule' when it was part of my sig.

But that's okay.