View Full Version : Your Best Recipe

12th January 05, 06:43 PM
Since Ragouts cake has been going over well for most everyone, (cept that jackass Plexor) I figured we could all boost our cooking repertoires....

I guess I should start this off.....

Sweet Ginger Rum Stir Fry


Slice two Chicken Breasts into slices and begin frying in a wok with a teaspoon or two of Olive Oil.

This is the sauce I cook the chicken in:

1-2 Large spoonful of honey (depending on your taste)
1 Shot of dark rum (better the rum the better =P)
The juice from a Can of Pinnapple Chunklets
2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil

I spice that with dash of salt, alot of pepper (this is because I love pepper)
and I put a few dashes of ginger into it.

I warm that together in a pot while my chicken is beginning to cook.

I then toss that mixture into the wok with the chicken and let is simmer for a few minutes then turn it up high to start frying it together.

I add about a half of a large Onion sliced into fairly big chunks with the chicken and sauce a couple minutes after adding the sauce. I Find the onion really soaks up the flavour and helps maintian the taste through the stir fry.

After you have let the onions chicken and sauce cook together for a couple minutes I add the vegetables

I gradually add these in this order every 2 minutes or so.

I start with:
a large head of brocolli (sliced)
2-4 celery peices (sliced)
1 large man sized handfull of Chinese Sweet Pee pods (preferable the ones with pees just starting to sprout inside)
2 large man sized handfull of bean sprouts (the long white ones not the little green ones)
Half a can of Pinnapple chunklets and 1 handful of peanuts (unsalted prefered unless your a salt junkie)

You can add you other favourite Vegetables to the mix if you like.

Minute or so after adding the pinnapple and peanuts its pretty well done.

You can add some chow mein noodles into the stir fry if you like....
to do this I just used the dry precooked ones and add them in about the time I add the peapods so that they are soft by the time everythign else is added.

Serve on its own or with Rice.

Big Black Hole
12th January 05, 07:24 PM
I hate to break your bubble but I don't think many people will take cooking tips from immature Canadians with no related experience.

Sabore Wallace
12th January 05, 07:45 PM
You don't have to be a fucking formal chef to know a good recipe. A lot of times people have just worked on perfecting something. Ragout, being a chef, has a shitload of recipes and yes he can enhance them quickly. But even though Phrack isn't a "Chef" I'll try out his Chili recipes. Because it's something Phrack's played around with and made better with every round.

There's a lot of people that won't like your recipe, but they can work with that recipe to make something to fit their needs and play with it themselves. Like Phracks chili, it was WAY too fuckin' hot for me, but I took the base of his recipe and played around with it, now I got a nice recipe for a fairly spicy chili that I like a lot, but isn't too hot for me.

12th January 05, 08:24 PM
Fuck you bitch...

Im acctually starting school in September to become a professional chef. So eat it.

12th January 05, 08:37 PM
My best recipe is a recipe for disaster. KUNG FU THAT BITCH!

12th January 05, 08:56 PM
Coldelf, you lied about the ginger, YOU LIED!

EDIT: Nope... nope, I see it. Still not changing what I said, though, I like the accusatory tone in which I address you.

12th January 05, 08:57 PM
oh my god how?! =(

Oh shit I forgot to say add some diced ginger into the stirfry or if you dont have just some ginger powder to give the vegtables some Ziiiiiiiiing.

12th January 05, 09:13 PM
I dunno about the pineapple chunks, but other than that it sounds ok.

12th January 05, 09:41 PM
No need for em if you dont like em.... Someone else post some recipes!

12th January 05, 10:22 PM
Phrack's Chili? Post it please!

Yiktin Voxbane
12th January 05, 11:39 PM
the n00B's Boiled Burgers ...

13th January 05, 12:24 AM
Rum Pineapple Boats

1 Pineapple
1/3 c Melted butter
1/4 c Packed light brown sugar
3 tb Dark rum
1/2 ts Ground cinnamon
1/8 ts Ground cloves
Freshly grated nutmeg

Cut pineapple through top and core into quarters. Cut pineapple into 1/2 inch slices, cutting to, but not through, the shell. Mix butter, sugar, rum, cinnamon and cloves. Wrap pinapple tops in aluminum foil. Place pinapple quarters on Cooking Grid, cover and cook (medium/off/medium for Weber gas grills) until pineapple is hot through, about 15 minutes, basting several times with butter-rum mixture. Sprinkle generously with nutmeg.

Edit: Shamelessly stolen from a Weber cookbook, but damn if it isn't awesome.

Yiktin Voxbane
13th January 05, 01:28 AM
Ok, my 2 favs are

Toast : take 2-4 slices of bread, Apply heat till the sugar starts to burn out of the bread and the surface goes a brown color. Remove from heat and immedeatley apply an overly generous amount of real, salted butter. Can garnish to suit tastes.

Devils Slice a banana into bacon rasher wide strips, Wrap banana chuncks in 1 rasher of bacon. Arrange several on a plate, exposed banana end up. Drizzle some tabasco, chuck them into the oven fer 3-10 mins.

Bon Apettite'

13th January 05, 03:41 AM
East Coast Flash Fried Redneck

This will take several steps over several hour, plan on serving at 2 AM on a weekend.

9 PM: Bathe chubby white meat in tepid water. Shave hairiest parts. Dress in loose fitting denim and cotton. (Flannel, NASCAR or NFL gear will also work.)

10 PM: Begin internally basting with alcohol. Beer or whiskey is preferrable. Mad Dog can be substituted if need be.

11 PM: Begin externally basting. 40 watt bar lighting, cheap redneck shit-kicker woman perfume (rubbed liberally on cheeks and crotch).

12 PM: Tenderize meat. Brief pushy shovey with local bikers at pool tables will tenderize face and ribs.

1 AM: Stuffing. Stop by convenience store for nachos and beef jerky.

2 AM: Flash fry. Attempt to shower while fixing stereo.

2:48 AM: Serve. 2-3 EMTs will plate and carry you to the closest physicians.

13th January 05, 10:57 AM
I don't have any killer recipes outside of my "any meat works" chili recipe....so far it's been great with beef, chicken, pork, turkey, alligator, and rattlesnake (long story...)....but that recipe is my secret....my mother doesnt even know it!

For the rest of ya, some dish ideas and tips:

For steak, if your serving it formally: Make a butter/basil mix in a frying pan and sear the steak in that, it will add to the flavor quite nicely.

Swordfish goes very well with fettucine alfredo....oh and adding some artichoke and proscuitto to your alfredo will make it all the more tasty.

when making bbq of any kind consider adding some ground chipotle to the sauce, this will add a nice amount of heat and a strong smoky flavor, usually better than the liquid smoke shit that is found in most bbq sauces.

sriracha sauce can be used to ake a quick seasoning for seasoned fries...but is rather hot so be conservative in it's use until you get it right. I like using it in lieu of ketchup, but I love hot foods....some dont though.

I have more but I gotta get ready for work.

13th January 05, 12:40 PM
Does anyone have a good Alfredo sauce recipe?

Dammit No Sith not that kind of Alfredo... save that for the juggs.

13th January 05, 01:07 PM
beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add beer 1 can

add cigerett 1

add beer 1 can

add cigerett 1

add cigerett 1

add 1/2 beer

pass out.

13th January 05, 02:14 PM
You know what's funny Sabore... I don't even care for spicy food all that often. I've since had to tone down that chili so that people can eat it without needing a Tums chaser after each spoonful.

I have much respect for chefs, and I sure as hell am not one. I just know what I like, and experiment. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes it's fucking repugnant like the chicken and noodle bake I made a few years back when I had the bright idea of seasoning it with cinnamon.

13th January 05, 02:25 PM
I always thought simple was best, therefore

Cremed Foreskins

1 package of McCormick's White Gravy Mix ( you may elect to make one from scratch instead )

Add ground black or white pepper to taste

Add 1 container of Hormel Chipped Beef

Serve over bread, toast or biscuits.

If you perfer Shit on a Shingle, substitute ground sausage for Chipped Beef.

Taters and Onions

4-5 large potatos, peeled and sliced into disks.

1/2 large onion, shredded

Combine and fry in pan with a small amount of oil. Pepper to taste.

Taco Stuff

1 box of Taco Bell or Ortega or Ole El Passo Hard Shell Taco complete kit.

1 lb of hamburger, the leaner the better

Cook as directed on box.

After heating shells, place them in a plastic bag and smash.

Mix smashed taco shells into taco meat and add the package of Taco Sauce from the box. Medium Salsa also works.

Top with shredded cheese and anything else you desire.

13th January 05, 03:40 PM
Put frozen french fries in 9/13 inch baking dish
Top with 2-3 cans of canned chicken chili
sprinkle with copious amounts of shredded cheddar cheese

Bake until it's done


13th January 05, 03:41 PM
sometimes it's fucking repugnant like the chicken and noodle bake I made a few years back when I had the bright idea of seasoning it with cinnamon.

Im sure you probably know this but since I cant remember your chilli recipe... Cinnamon is wicked in Chilli.

13th January 05, 07:46 PM
Does anyone have a good Alfredo sauce recipe?

I have some Alfredo sauce for you...FROM MY PENIS!!!

Dammit No Sith not that kind of Alfredo... save that for the juggs.

Oh, nevermind then.

14th January 05, 02:00 AM
Im sure you probably know this but since I cant remember your chilli recipe... Cinnamon is wicked in Chilli.

*Shudder* This reminds me of the first time (and as a result one of the few times) I ever had too much to drink. I had about half a fifth of Hot Damn (cinnamon schnaps) and all I had eaten that night was a bowl of chilli. The two did not mix well at all. I was hugging a toilet the next morning for about 5 hours. Dry heaving is not fun.

14th January 05, 02:17 AM
I can give you the alfredo sauce recipe we use at work, but we make about 40 gallons at a time so I will need to do the math to scale it down.

Also, it relies on heavy cream.... not for the health conscious.

14th January 05, 10:57 AM
Sweet thanks Ragout......

14th January 05, 09:45 PM
This will sound weird but it makes one hell of an outstanding Tri-Tip.

Take one large Tri-Tip.

Smear French's Yellow Mustard all over it....(has to be yellow mustard and literally LOTS of it all over the meat.)

Pour on a shit load of ROCK salt (kind for making ice cream) all over the mustard coated tri-tip. Pour on as much as you can until it is completley covered.

Make sure you have some people watching so they can say "What the FUCK are you doing!!!!??!! I hate Mustard!!!!

Put on Grill at 350 degrees until its around 140 degrees internal temp.

Take off the grill and tap the salt off. (it will break off kind of like a shell)

Slice and enjoy.

15th January 05, 03:42 AM
Fairmont Alfredo Sauce

Ok, just made this tonight and I don't have time to list all the ingredients out... they are just in the text. You'll need a blonde roux for this. If you don't want to hassle with a roux, use Gold Medal Wondra thickening flour. If you don't want to spend the $3 for a years supply of Wondra, you can make a cornstarch slurry which is 2:1 cold water:cornstarch

Pour some olive oil, about 3 tablespoons in a pan and heat over medium until it is about to smoke... If it is smoking it is too hot so start over.

Put 2 cloves of minced garlic and about the same amount of minced shallots in the pan, turn heat down a bit. You want the garlic and shallots to get translucent - not brown. Add a shot of dry sherry or cream sherry or a good cooking sherry. Cream sherry is my favorite for alfredo.

When they are ready add 3/4 cup butter and 1/4 cup parmesan reggiano cheese. For the love of god, or satan if you choose, DO NOT USE THE SHITTY KRAFT parmesan... Use a decent parmesan that you shred. Stay away from the powdered parmesan because it will make the sauce grainy. With the heat still on low, whisk the cheese and butter together until smooth. If some oil separates from the butter, keep whisking, turn down the heat a bit, and add a bit more butter. In a separate pan, or preferrably a double boiler, heat - not boil, but heat 3 cups of heavy cream. If you pour cold cream into the hot butter/cheese you will get a grainy nasty sauce. Whisk vigorously slowly adding the cream until it is well integrated. Now, you will probably have very thin cream sauce base. Season then thicken is my motto, so add nutmeg and some black pepper to taste... usually, about 1 teaspoon of nutmeg will do the trick, maybe a little more... I don't really measure spices. Add a bit of salt if you used unsalted butter... don't forget to taste before adding salt. Parmesan has a lot of salt so it may not need it. Anyways, once seasoned, add a little roux and whisk it in until dissolved... if you are using wondra, do the same... with the slurry, do the same, but the cornstarch has to get pretty hot to thicken, so turn the heat up a bit if you are using this. Use less thickeners than you think you need. When you pull the sauce off the heat, it will naturally tighten up some. If you add too much, add some soft butter and a little warm cream to thin it out.

You should get about 4 cups, 8 servings of high calorie rich goodness.

good luck, let me know how it turns out or if you have questions.

20th November 06, 04:18 PM
Saw this and couldn't find Phrack's chili thread so I am posting it here:

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the
Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted". Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sherri, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sherri saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those red necks.

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sherri. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

20th November 06, 05:11 PM
Chili rules.

2nd November 08, 08:11 AM
Hmm.. No good chicken soup recipes.

Mr. Mantis
6th November 08, 01:07 PM
Does anyone have a good Alfredo sauce recipe?

Dammit No Sith not that kind of Alfredo... save that for the juggs.

Alfredo sauce is easy, it's all FAT!

Put butter in a saute' pan, add some garlic to taste and saute' but do not burn! add heavy cream and grated Parmesan cheese, salt, pepper and a little parsley.

Boom, done.

My best recipe is for bread, it rulz and I will not give it out, not that you could make it without seeing it done anyway.

But, a great recipie from Lechuza years ago is for the Bullshido Burger

1/2 lb.* ground beef patty - cook that mother up.
make 2 grilled cheese sandwiches.
Use them for the bun, add your favorite condiments!

*1/4 will work if you don't want to make that much of a pig out of yourself.

6th November 08, 01:11 PM
Like this? with bacon...

6th November 08, 02:04 PM
Holy shit! I now know what I will have as my last meal if I ever get sentenced to death.

6th November 08, 06:06 PM
Jeez, just eat the damn grilled cheese-o-burger a time or two. You wont need to be "sentenced". My cholesterol is going up just looking at it.

6th November 08, 06:17 PM
you hosers don't deserve this, but here it is anyway:

Ong Bak Beef

a few pounds of skirt steak
soy vey marinade
2 big ziploc freezer bags
your elbows, which muay thai has turned into deadly meat tenderizers

put skirt steak in ziploc freezer bag.
drench with Soy Vey marinade.
put first bag with meat and marinade into second bag so it doesn't get all over kitchen during next step.

Now BEAT YOUR MEAT. not the way you do in the shower; I'm talking pummel that beef with your fists, elbows, and forearms. Pound that shit! But don't let the bags open.

Once the meat has been whailed on in the manner of Tony Jaa testing out a new stuntman, let it marinate over night.

Then grill it (over charcoal, natch). Slice across the grain of the meat in half inch strips. Slicing along the grain will produce meat floss.

serve with coconut rice and maybe some grilled bell peppers.

Robot Jesus
6th November 08, 09:38 PM
why not pummel and then marinate? could lead to some more fulfilling combat.

Robot Jesus
6th November 08, 10:04 PM
can anyone think of a stearl way to mount beef on a heavy bag?

7th November 08, 01:03 AM
Jeez, just eat the damn grilled cheese-o-burger a time or two. You wont need to be "sentenced". My cholesterol is going up just looking at it.

Oh, I will. That will be one of those days that I only have a single thing for brunch, and nothing else until the next day.

Mr. Mantis
7th November 08, 12:55 PM
Like this? with bacon...
Well hello Emeril. Talk about taking it up a notch, BAM! Here I come Elizabeth!

7th November 08, 01:51 PM
Here I come Elizabeth!

Next, we make Gorilla Cookies with Aunt Esther!