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View Full Version : Iraq down - who's next?



Bummer the Midget Slayer
10th April 03, 04:19 AM
Which country will be the next on little Bushs crusade? Let's take a look at the candidates:

1. North Korea
- evilty factor - 10
- weapons - nuclear bombs, modern army
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and a threat to humanity
- other - maybe a bad choice, since they could strike back

2. Iran
- evilty factor - 7
- weapons - donkey riding special forces with assault canes
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and surely support evil in general, they have a soap factory (MacGuyver could easily make a "biological warfare plant" out of it)
- other - geographicaly very convenient, since the army is already in the region

3. Cuba
- evilty factor - 4
- weapons - can cause lung-cancer through excessive use of second hand smoke emission
- possible justification for attack - they are evil, they attacked CIA led jolly good mercanaries at Pig's Bay who were minding their own business
- other - nice place for holidays, their leader will most likely die of natural causes soon so there is kind of a time-pressure to free the Cubans

4. Iceland
- evilty factor - 0.1
- weapons - education, poetry
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and a they sabotage the US airconditioning industry by living in a region which doesn't require airconditioning
- other - they can easiely be overrun by half a dozen well armed gardeners

5. Alaska
- evilty factor - 8
- weapons - cold weather, pick up trucks, shotguns
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and they used to be a part of Russia
- other - might be complicated if Bush realises it's already a part of the US

6. Neverland
- evilty factor - ?
- weapons - umbrellas, animals, facemasks
- possible justification for attack - since Michael Jackson uses masks all the time it is very likely that he posseses weapons for mass destruction
- other - Bush is bored in Camp David, he needs a place to chill

So, what's it gonna be? I vote for 6. Neverland!



Edited by - Bummer the midget slayer on April 10 2003 06:00:09

Blad3
10th April 03, 04:59 AM
FRANCE <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

j/k <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

is that "Ireland"?



Movie Quote: http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=603&view=1 - Full Metal Jacket (http://kubrickfilms.warnerbros.com/video_detail/fmj/index.html)

Edited by - Blade Windu on April 10 2003 05:13:13

SLJ
10th April 03, 05:36 AM
I know ! Why don't we just leave them to their own devices.

Lets just let them do what ever the hell they want, who cares if they have nuclear capability.

Yay problem solved.


BTW I agree with France, we're only small, and could do with the land.

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Space may be the final frontier,
But it's made in a Hollywood basement.

Blad3
10th April 03, 05:38 AM
lol.

Never liked the French anyway <img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>



Movie Quote: http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=603&view=1 - Full Metal Jacket (http://kubrickfilms.warnerbros.com/video_detail/fmj/index.html)

Bummer the Midget Slayer
10th April 03, 06:01 AM
Why's everybody so keen on France? What do they got the US want? Eurodisney?

Justme
10th April 03, 08:07 AM
"Why's everybody so keen on France? What do they got the US want? Eurodisney?"

How about the bodies of our war dead. They already told the British to get "their garabage" out of their soil. Let have our dead exhumed and brought back where they can be properly appreciated for their sacrifice. France is not an ally. Neither is Canada. I hope others will stop going to Canada, using their casino's, and buying anything made in Canada. Its time to arm our Northern border.

rellik_yzarc
10th April 03, 08:32 AM
syria or iran

Halogen
10th April 03, 08:34 AM
BTW I agree with France, we're only small, and could do with the land.http://www.iinet.net.au/~mcarson/liberty.jpg

Seriously though, I reckon Rumsfeldt (did i spell that right?) has got his sights set on Syria.




Edited by - Halogen on April 10 2003 08:37:07

Phrost
10th April 03, 09:18 AM
Moving this to OT

sanchin
10th April 03, 09:26 AM
I'll go along with France, it's got better weather than the UK, and it's only a couple of hours away from me via the tunnel. The countryside is nice, the cuisine and wine are good, the only thing spoiling the place is some of the people that live there....
(note to Francophiles, I didn't say ALL of the people ok?)

J Zen
10th April 03, 11:39 AM
My guess is there will be a diplomatic solution with the case concerning North Korea rather than a war for various reasons:

1.) The North Koreans are actually threatening for real and could prove to be a formidable opponent. They won't be a soft target like Iraq for sure. Lil Kim may actually be crazy enough to use nukes.

2.) South Koreans wouldn't be too happy to host or bear the burden of war that isn't exactly theirs, especially with the threat of WMD.

3.) The Chinese may be troubled by the US action against NK. The US need to retain good relationship with China right now for future economic benefits.

Justme
10th April 03, 11:48 AM
J Zen. I agree. Why won't China help? I am missing that part.

Deadpan Scientist
10th April 03, 12:13 PM
Syria. We should have cleaned that cesspool out before iraq...

poet
10th April 03, 12:14 PM
Didn't we get the Statue of Liberty from France?
Wasn't it with their help we told Britan to stick it?


"I do not agree with what you have to say but, I will defend to the death your right to say it."
-Voltaire

KC Elbows
10th April 03, 12:16 PM
Excuse me, but what has Iran done to rate themselves so high on the evility factor? Let's see, they became more moderate and seemed to be going through reforms. I'm not particularly knowledgeable on their current existence, but I think it's been something like 20 years since we had issues with them. Do others have info I don't here, because they sure seem to be sort of behaving.

Why would China help? Wouldn't that essentially be helping to get American armies close to Chinese borders?

I've heard some say that the thought is that the US will pressure China to deal with the North Korean problem.

Deadpan Scientist
10th April 03, 12:32 PM
China should take care of the whole thing, after all, N Korea is their crackhead neighbor...

Osiris
10th April 03, 12:39 PM
And their ally.

"You say, "Nobody is going to pay Kim until there is some guarantee they will get what they paid for." The point is I'M NOT SELLING!" Ashida Kim

Justme
10th April 03, 12:46 PM
"And their ally."

Wastrel might know, but I don't think China is a fond of N Korea as we might think. Omar probably has a good idea too.

Osiris
10th April 03, 01:01 PM
People seriously overestimate the benevolance of China.

"You say, "Nobody is going to pay Kim until there is some guarantee they will get what they paid for." The point is I'M NOT SELLING!" Ashida Kim

elipson
12th April 03, 12:22 AM
Neither is Canada. I hope others will stop going to Canada, using their casino's, and buying anything made in Canada

Well dude, you better turn off your lights, tear down your house, and stop drinking bottled water, because Canada sends an AWFUL lot of electricity, lumber, and fresh water to the states. Ya, go ahead, boycott us, see what it does to your already depressed economy!!!

hahaha!!!

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind"
-Ghandi

The Wastrel
12th April 03, 12:35 AM
Osiris,
It has nothing to do with benevolence. Why does China want a nuclear powered neighbor with starving millions, especially now that it's addicted to Western investment. Trust me, Chinese leadership is nothing like NK. Current CCP members come from the idealistic "Lost Generation" of liberalizers.

**The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**

Boyd
12th April 03, 01:59 AM
You know what we desperately need in this country? Jingoism. Sure can't have enough of that. I mean, who do those fuckers think they are, disagreeing with America?

They don't call it the Nazi PARTY for nothing!

Boyd
12th April 03, 02:01 AM
Oh, also, KC: While Iran has been becoming steadily more moderate over time, there was a recent event--and God help me, I completely forgot what it was, but believe me when I say it was real--that started pushing Iran back towards Crazy Islam.

They don't call it the Nazi PARTY for nothing!

9chambers
12th April 03, 02:01 AM
Honestly, I had an idea today that would make a good screen play .. about these guys who decide that if they launch a terrorist attack on America that we will come over an depose their dirty dictator and free them and give them DVDs and blue jeans. They hijack a plane and bumble an attempt to get our attention directed at their country. We invade and liberate the wrong country so they just stay here and open a resteraunt.

:)

Osiris
12th April 03, 03:58 AM
"Oh, also, KC: While Iran has been becoming steadily more moderate over time, there was a recent event--and God help me, I completely forgot what it was, but believe me when I say it was real--that started pushing Iran back towards Crazy Islam."

Wouldnt be the war with that crazy American supported dctator would it? Cant think of his name though.

9chambers, how bout we add a plot twist. We support their dictator to make money ad controlthe oil flow. This convieniently inreases conflict in the region and causes the people to have problems with us. Because we have "inadvertantly" caused an attack on our country we have to respond. Seeing that the problem STEMS from two places, we avoid those places. We then proceed to attck the attackers current base and another country at random. The random country is demonized with false information and intentional fear mongering. Both coutries fall, we profit and the cause of the problem somehow remains unsolved. This means that conflict can continue, big business can get paid and all the rich people live happily ever after.

"You say, "Nobody is going to pay Kim until there is some guarantee they will get what they paid for." The point is I'M NOT SELLING!" Ashida Kim

Freddy
12th April 03, 04:32 PM
I think this Iraq invasion just gave North Korea a justification to develope weopns of mass desstruction. If I recall correctly they should be able to produce weopons grade uranium in about four months.

"Do what thou wilt is the whole of the Law"

The Wastrel
12th April 03, 04:52 PM
I think you're partially right Freddy. Problem is that NK's been doing it all along. Bush's "Axis of Evil" comment just gave them a fig leaf. We have to persuade countries that they will be listened to even if they DON'T have nukes. No one's done that so far.

**The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**

J Zen
12th April 03, 06:19 PM
Iran is moderate only in theory; sure they may have some form of democratic elements in their politics but they also have a parallel shadow government controlled by some anti-democracy Muslim extremists. It's similar to how pretty much nothing in the UN are decided without the US's approval. The democratic government can't really do anything without the support and approval of the shadow government. As long as this parallel structure still exists or the balance of power is tipped in favor of the Islamic extremists, democracy is still quite a long way to go in Iran. But to simply remove Islamic influence (i.e. like the seperation of the church and state) from the politics wouldn't really be plausible either. Islam is part of their culture and politics, and will most probably always be that way. What they need is probably to use Islam as the tools of empowerment - to promote democratic ideals through Islam, but right now, the voice of the religious rights are the ones being heard and thus Islam is for the most part, being used to empower the religious elites and to instill the general feeling of discontent against the west. Perhaps more moderate Islamic figures should be made to lead the Islamic world and make their voices heard to combat the poison spewed by the ultra-conservative religious rights.

gong sau
12th April 03, 08:10 PM
>Neither is Canada.

>Its time to arm our Northern border.

Hey Justme, Fuck you. Just because we're stuck with a moron in power who emits more and more suprising crap the longer he's PM, doesn't mean we all agree with him. We don't like him either, and he'll be gone next election (quaranteed). Take a look at opinion polls. Unlike France, we don't have a majority saying that they'd rather see Iraq win than the states.

gong sau
12th April 03, 08:16 PM
>We have to persuade countries that they will be listened to even if they DON'T have nukes. No one's done that so far.

That wouldn't happen to be because nobody listens to countries that don't have nukes, now would it?

Boyd
12th April 03, 10:20 PM
Hey, fuck YOU Gong Sau! You think you guys are better than America? You think you're EQUAL to America? Hell no! America could crush the entire world with its giant swinging dick and by God they'll like it! We're America, buddy. Do you know what that means? It means we do whatever the hell we please.

In conclusion, we should all invade Mexico.

They don't call it the Nazi PARTY for nothing!

The Wastrel
12th April 03, 10:49 PM
gongsau,
I wish brand had a picture with someone with their finger on their nose.

**The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**

Freddy
14th April 03, 01:12 PM
I think America should focus on the volatile situation between Pakistan and India. Not only are they building weopns of mass destruction there are religious fanactics on both side of the conflict that are ready to use them. I'm surpirise there isnt more focus on the BJP fanactics in power in India. They are just as bad as those "muslim" extreamist. In a few years India would have missiles that could reach beyond the Asian continent and into Europe and North America. As far as I know nobody is keeping a watch on them (not really).
With North Korea I think Japan should just keep silent on the issue and let South Korea and China mediate a solution with NK. I think Japan involvement would just stir up confronations with both the Koreas and China.

"Do what thou wilt is the whole of the Law"

Sheol
14th April 03, 04:05 PM
Freddy:
We're watching. However, we can only deal with one crisis at a time, due to the economic crisis. Further, our military hasn't recovered from the severe damage it was dealt by the Clinton administration.

There's a few reasons why North Korea is now so willing to talk. The U.S. is the main one, but there are other factors. Do you remember the ABM project?

Ironwave
14th April 03, 04:11 PM
syria or Iran

______________________________________________
"

I agree Syria or Iran and North Korea there top's on the American shit list then FRANCE we should kick the shit out of those cheese eating & wine drinking FAG smoking people. !France, Russia and Germany boycotted the US not to go to war with Iraq. Why, because they all were selling Iraq weapons for oil & money they are whore's they stand on their soap boxes for peace yet, they are the one's that are selling Iraq weapons We should take them all out one at a time!

The Wastrel
14th April 03, 05:31 PM
Gee, we sure needed another one of these guys, didn't we?

**The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**

Osiris
14th April 03, 06:52 PM
"our military hasn't recovered from the severe damage it was dealt by the Clinton administration."

Yeh, were helpless now. I still dont see how we managed to beat Iraq.

"You say, "Nobody is going to pay Kim until there is some guarantee they will get what they paid for." The point is I'M NOT SELLING!" Ashida Kim

Sheol
14th April 03, 08:08 PM
Osiris:
First, no matter the degree of dominance, mounting such a large operation requires a very large number of personnel on the frontline AND in supporting roles. We had personnel stretched very thinly, with many, if not most, having dangerously little amounts of sleep in order to make up for the lack of sufficient personnel.

Second, we have only started to fully modernize and upgrade our forces. Many programs were either cut or given inadequate funding, prior to 1991. We still haven't replaced certain equipment because the money isn't there. Our intelligence services still have a lot of lost time to make up for.

Third, there was a high-level castration of military command under Clinton. Those that didn't agree with the changes in policy or objected too vociferously to the cutbacks, were either 'encouraged' to retire or moved out of the way. Meanwhile, certain personnel that toed the line were promoted in key positions. From what I understand, there still remains some correction within the upper ranks to be made. It's not something that you want to do out in the field.

To be sure, our armed forces are still the best in the world, but we should support them as well as we reasonably can. Hopefully, we won't have to deploy them in another large-scale operation, but we must be prepared for the worst.

Boyd
14th April 03, 08:34 PM
I agree Syria or Iran and North Korea there top's on the American shit list then FRANCE we should kick the shit out of those cheese eating & wine drinking FAG smoking people.

Dude totally!!! Where do they get off on thinking they have a right to disagree with US foreign policy? Don't they know we could beat up anyone in the world?

They don't call it the Nazi PARTY for nothing!

Osiris
14th April 03, 08:43 PM
"To be sure, our armed forces are still the best in the world, but we should support them as well as we reasonably can. Hopefully, we won't have to deploy them in another large-scale operation, but we must be prepared for the worst."

How powerful is powerful enough though? We can kick a tremenous aount of ass as we are. Its not like Clinton let the military slide THAT far. In fact I think we should cut down even further. What the fuck is a hyperpower?


"You say, "Nobody is going to pay Kim until there is some guarantee they will get what they paid for." The point is I'M NOT SELLING!" Ashida Kim

Sheol
14th April 03, 09:04 PM
Osiris:
I suspect that what you want is for the cost (expressed in casualties) of protecting U.S. interests to be high enough so as to deter the American public from supporting any military action.

Tell me, if you could be so capable and equipped to neutralize almost every single threat to your safety with minimal risk to yourself, would you do so? Sure you would. A pacifist probably wouldn't, but it's obvious that we're not pacifists. We're willing to use force.

FingerorMoon?
14th April 03, 09:14 PM
4. Iceland
- evilty factor - 0.1
- weapons - education, poetry
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and a they sabotage the US airconditioning industry by living in a region which doesn't require airconditioning
- other - they can easiely be overrun by half a dozen well armed gardeners

ba ha ha ha


5. Alaska
- evilty factor - 8
- weapons - cold weather, pick up trucks, shotguns
- possible justification for attack - they are evil and they used to be a part of Russia
- other - might be complicated if Bush realises it's already a part of the US

Bush will never figure that out.

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Don't view the glass as half empty, view it as half full of shit.
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