View Full Version : Jesus thinks you're fvcking idiot...

4th November 04, 12:16 PM
'Come Bite Me!' Right...

TAIPEI (Reuters) - A man leaped into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

"Jesus will save you!" the 46-year-old man shouted at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

"Come bite me!" he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.



Too bad they didn't finish him off...


Peter H.
4th November 04, 12:23 PM
With church tithings down in recent years and congregation size dwindling due to recent scandals, churches go to new lengths to find and recruit parishoners.

4th November 04, 12:24 PM
He was testing god and therefore breaking one of the commandments. That is obviously why the lion bit him.

Beatdown Richie
4th November 04, 12:29 PM
That is obviously why the lion bit him.

Obviously. The lion being a predator had nothing whatsoever to do with it.

My hypothesis is that the lion is a militant atheist who was just waiting for a chance to get a shot at the faithful.

4th November 04, 12:31 PM
This is almost as silly as making world affecting decisions based on what Jesus told you.

4th November 04, 12:33 PM
My theory, when combined with Beatdown Ritchie's theory, demonstrates resounding proof that god exists, and works in mysterious ways.

4th November 04, 12:36 PM
Crazy mofo thinks he's Daniel!

4th November 04, 12:40 PM
The lion was obviously atheist.

4th November 04, 03:35 PM

I cannot believe some people's stupidity.

4th November 04, 03:41 PM
I'm filing this under "crazy" rather than "stupid"...

4th November 04, 03:51 PM
I kinda admire the guy actually. I could never put that much faith into something so unproven.
Of course it did backfire on him but he was willing to step up and defend his beliefs.

I might even rep++ if he conceded that god wasn't around to protect him and became a born again athiest.

4th November 04, 04:05 PM
There has been tons of voodoo guys who have gotten a spell against bullets & either died when they got shot at... or tested it right away on the bravest guy (followed by assaulting the witch-doctor for faulty spells)...

SOURCE: Fark.com. So sue me.

[EDIT: And I think Jesus is a fucking idiot too, so I wouldn't expect him to think anything else about me.... ]

4th November 04, 04:09 PM
Actually, there was a guy that demonstrated his charm, which has the power to render it's wearer bulletproof, in the news not too long ago. That guy died during the demonstration.


4th November 04, 04:59 PM
Godamn religious nut!

Don "Jive Turkey" Gwinn
4th November 04, 08:50 PM
It's not hard to be brave when you're absolutely crazy.

Also, I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't save the lions.

4th November 04, 08:54 PM
Lions don't exactly fall into the category of "meek", I'm pretty sure they're straight up damned.

Also, nice to know this guy has something in common with a sizeable portion of the population of my country, isn't that special?!

5th November 04, 04:28 AM
This thread should be called, "Religion in a Nutshell".

5th November 04, 04:30 AM
Clearly it worked as the lion didn't really hurt him.

5th November 04, 05:53 AM
What would Seigfreid do?

5th November 04, 08:50 AM
He was testing god and therefore breaking one of the commandments. That is obviously why the lion bit him.

yes, god doesn't like to take tests because he usually fails