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inde
27th October 04, 12:32 PM
Oh Boy, the e-mails I get. I thought I would share this one. Enjoy.


Subject: Kerry's resume'



> JOB APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENT
>
> NAME: John Kerry
>
> RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington
> DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> EXPERIENCE:
> Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator,
> I've
> voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense
>
> bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire
> hydrant
> in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my
> neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam
> (four months).
>
> MILITARY:
> I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three
> minor
> injuries to get an early discharge from the military
> and service in
> Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I
> served in Vietnam
> (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined
> Jane Fonda in
> protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam
> vets, claiming they
> committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served
> in Vietnam (four
> months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something
> away in protest. Or
> did I? My book " Vietnam Veterans Against the War:
> The New Soldier",
> shows how I truly feel about the military. I served
> in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> COLLEGE:
> I graduated from Yale University with a low C
> average.
> Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher
> education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor
> graduate with an M.B.A
>
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S.
> Congress
> and have been there ever since. I have no real world
>
> experience except marrying very rich women and
> running
> their companies vicariously through them. I served
> in
> Vietnam (four months).
>
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
> As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most
> liberal
> voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and
> Hillary
> Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our
> military
> and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus
> gutting our country's
> ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the
> Iraq War, now I am
> against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.
> I voted for every
> liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help
> this country but I
> intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
> I served in Vietnam
> (four months).
>
> My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart,
> George
> Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or
> no charitable
> contributions and have never agreed to pay any
> voluntary excess taxes in
> Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $
> 700 million. I
> served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside
> of the
> U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can
> make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in
> those Countries,
> although I blame George Bush for sending all of the
> other jobs out of
> Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> Although I claim to be in favor of alternative
> energy
> sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off
> Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil
> our
> view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I
> served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).
>
> PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever
> cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love
> to ski/snowboard. I
> call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I
> call my $850,000
> 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".
>
>
> I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it
> reflects our real
> culture.
>
> I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at
> my
> Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large,
>
> polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George
> Bush for
> our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four
> months).
>
> PLEASE CONSIDER MY
> EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN
> 2004.

spincycle0
27th October 04, 12:51 PM
Bush's Resume:

Law enforcement:
cut funding for DEA/Local Law Enforcement tasks forces as a governor.
Oversaw a skyrocketing increase in the use and distribution of ecstacy in Texas as governor.

Education:
As governor led TEXAS to become next to last in every aspect of education.

Personal education: nearly failed out of college while drinking excessive amount of alcohol and binging on coke.

Military:
Defended Texas air space from the imminent vietcong invasion, while I simultaneously was AWOL. Cut veterans benefits.

Foreign Policy:
If their not white, they aren't right. Kill them all and let God sort them out.

Civil Rights:
I've single handedly set us back in the stone age in civil liberties. No more habeus corpus, no more due process, right to councel, right to privacy. No more right to an expediant trial. I'm looking to stack the Supreme Court with religious fundamentalists so we can have our own Jesus flavored Taliban right here states side.

I also like to lie and pretend I'm religious and believe in Jesus so the ignorant midwest fundies will vote for me while I rob them blind and indiscriminately kill people globally.

I've never ran a sucessful business, even with powerful wealthy relatives backing me. I have close ties to the Saudi Royal family.

I make crappy decisions and stick with them to appear "steadfast"

I have the IQ of a gorilla on a good day.

Vote for me in '04....or not....we're going to rig the election again anyhow.

spincycle0
27th October 04, 12:55 PM
I love how the fucking fascists attack John kerry for being rich. Bush is certainly a blue collar guy right? I mean the bush's don't have a G4 and a mansionin martha's vineyard and a huge ranch in central texas, and multimillions of dollars of net worth or anything. I mean, it's not like Bush got handed millions of dollars to pump into his failed business ventures. It would be one thing if his money and influence got him into a school he didnt deserver to go to, but it's just not true. It's that rich fucking carpetbagger Kerry trying to pick on poor, blue collar george right.

Plus we all know how the democrats are the party of the wealthy and that Republicans represent the poor, although I can't really explain why every vehicle I see with a W sticker on it is 40k + and gets less than 12 miles per gallon.

Peter H.
27th October 04, 01:19 PM
Bush's Resume:

Cut funding for DEA/Local Law Enforcement tasks forces as a governor.
Oversaw a skyrocketing increase in the use and distribution of ecstacy in Texas as governor.

Education:
As governor led TEXAS to become next to last in every aspect of education.



I'd really like to see proof of those. There rest is pretty much just opinion I've seen spouted off for months, as is the Kerry thing. But those three are new to me.

Kempocos
27th October 04, 01:25 PM
A few points ,

Kerry is not rich , his wife of 10 years is.

Bush and Kerry are both idiots.

Kerry is not going to save this country, He did back the war until Dean was out a canidate.

Iraq needed to be curbed, Yes they did not find Missles but thsy did find training camps , and proof that they supplied passports, weapons grade uranium to make bombs, money to variuos trerrorist groups.

Stick
27th October 04, 03:05 PM
Spin, you know we can do better. I'm sure there's another version out there.

The quick of it is, Bush is a slime ball. Kerry may not be great, but I prefer change to the utter failure I know and loathe.

Freddy
27th October 04, 03:36 PM
For those who didnt know this already both Kerry and Bush are distant relatives. Sort of makes you wonder huh?

(Not to mention there may be problems with Florida's voting practice again. Whose the governor of Florida again?) :5eek:

Stick
27th October 04, 03:58 PM
Yeah, some of this is bunk, but so much of it is true.

George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:

*

Ran for congress and lost.
*

Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
*

Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
*

Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
*

With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
*

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:

*

Attacked and took over two countries.
*

Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
*

Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
*

Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
*

Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
*

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
*

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
*

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
*

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
*

Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
*

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
*

Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
*

Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
*

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
*

Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
*

Signed more laws and executive orders circumventing the Constitution than any president in US history.
*

Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
*

Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
*

Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
*

Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
*

Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
*

My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
*

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleezza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).
*

Had more states to simultaneously go bankrupt than any president in the history of the United States.
*

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
*

Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
*

Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
*

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
*

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
*

Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
*

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
*

Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
*

Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
*

First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
*

All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
*

My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
*

Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
*

First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
*

First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
*

First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
*

Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
*

With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
*

Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
*

First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
*

Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
*

Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
*

Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
*

Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
*

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
*

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
*

In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
*

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References:

*

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
*

AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
*

Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
*

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
*

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
*

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
*

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
*

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

Peter H.
27th October 04, 04:34 PM
Yeah, some of this is bunk, but so much of it is true.

George W. Bush Resume

Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
*

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
*


Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
*

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
*


Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
*

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
*


My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
*

First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
*

First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
*


Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
*

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
*

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
*

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
*

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
*


Those are the ones I think are bunk, the rest is either pretty legitimate criticism or I just don't know enough to say if it is or isn't:

Taking it from the top of my list:

1) Governor of Texas has no control of this, and I think Houston and LA traded places a few times during the 90's anyway. As for executions: So what? You are more likely to get the death penalty in a lot of other States that carry it, but in Texas, we just actually follow through on our threats. You can also kill a person who breaks into your house while you are home and don't have to sweat the cops giving you grief. I have no objections.

2) So what? Guy got convicted, and got the death penalty. Supreme Court must have agreed too, or it wouldn't have happened.

3) George Washinton comitted murder prior to being president, 8 presidents had English Criminal records. Considering the number of presidents we had that were hard drinking, womanizing, or engaged in jobs where a little lawbreaking was the norm. I find this doubtful.

4) Wait, I thought he extended unemployment benefits for longer than anytime in history? If he didn't I better tell my buddy Sam to geta job, since he hasn't worked in over a years since being laid off and makes more on unemployment than I make now working, plus is getting free health care he didn't get while employeed.

5) He was president when it came to light, most of it happened during the 1990's, which led to that wonderful stock market upswell Clinton gets credit for.

6) I don't remember a Constitutional amendment? Do you? Only way to do that one.

7) And, like they weren't before.

8) http://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/indivs.asp Mr. Lay is pretty good, but here are the real numbers. Have fun.

9) Never heard that lie, and last time I checked, we had him on live TV as it occured.

10) Well, the secret shadow government was established around 1780 by Adam Westhaumph at the behest of George Washington, who Adam posed for paintings as because once wigged and powdered, they looked alike. If there was a shadow governemtn, do you think whoever wrote this would know about it?

11) True, after members of congress and political opponents and the media threw a fit, claiming the administration was engaging in insider trading by doing this, so they stopped. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

12) Last time I checked, the investigation was completed and Bush and Crew assisted in it.

13) Did we forget FDR who had US Citizens placed in internment camps without benefit of due process byt the thousands?

14) See the above item #5

15) Been pretty much proven untry, or at least exagerated to a large extent.

16) Not true. You can go to almost any library and look up a lot of what he did.

spincycle0
27th October 04, 05:10 PM
Be a good little Parteienmitglied(party member for the few fascists out there who haven't learned the mother tongue) and vote for W. We cant truly become the nations of idiots the world thinks we are unless we're led by one for another four years.

I for one welcome our white totalitarian christian theocratic overlords

Stick
27th October 04, 06:29 PM
Yeah, that list is probably over a year old.

Smeagol
28th October 04, 05:56 AM
Be a good little Parteienmitglied(party member for the few fascists out there who haven't learned the mother tongue) and vote for W. We cant truly become the nations of idiots the world thinks we are unless we're led by one for another four years.

I for one welcome our white totalitarian christian theocratic overlords
1st: it's Parteimitglied.
2nd: fuck you, dumbfuck! generalizing idiot, know-nothing-donkey-fucker. if you really think fascism was first developed in germany, think again.

Peter H.
28th October 04, 08:20 AM
Be a good little Parteienmitglied(party member for the few fascists out there who haven't learned the mother tongue) and vote for W. We cant truly become the nations of idiots the world thinks we are unless we're led by one for another four years.

I for one welcome our white totalitarian christian theocratic overlords

Shut your trap Spin, my opinions on both candidates are pretty well voiced on this board and others, they are both crap and I didn't vote for either one (yes I have already voted, if you haven't voted, make sure you do).

There are plenty of legitimate reasons to vote for either Bush or Kerry, and even more reasons to not vote for them. I dislike people misrepresenting or out right lieing about occurances to make one candidtae or the other look bad. But as this board seems to post more of this stuff about Bush, I spend an inordinate amount of my time here defending Bush, as opposed to the Kerry defense I have engaged in other areas.

jubei33
28th October 04, 10:56 AM
Isn't an MBA like one of those degrees that famous people get even though they didn't go to college?
Seriously, I heard a rumor that they were giving them away as party favors at OSU

Ah, business math class in college, lonely bastion of creative book keeping.............

Peter H.
28th October 04, 11:12 AM
Isn't an MBA like one of those degrees that famous people get even though they didn't go to college?
Seriously, I heard a rumor that they were giving them away as party favors at OSU

Ah, business math class in college, lonely bastion of creative book keeping.............

I guess it would depend on the college, around here an MBA means something. My degree is in Comp Sci with a mass of hard science and math in there, and it took me two tries to get accounting right. I have a guy in my offise with his MBA and he's like Rain Man on a two column ledger.

Peter H.
28th October 04, 11:56 AM
Nice one, your repetior of insults compromises one phrase and slight variations there of. I'm impressed. Not only are you illiterate, but you also fail to be creative, and considering your registration date and post count, I would also hazard a guess and say you are incapable of contributing intelligently to any conversation.

Your insult doesn't mean jack, as the only part that matches me if the fact that I am white, your ignorance and pollution of what could have otherwise been a decent discuss irks me to no end.

Bullshido has enough non-contributing, inarticulate, uneducated asses floating around, but we had almost succeded in purging them from CEPS and banishing them to Trollshido, that we were actually making headway on decent political discussion. Your blatant "I support Kerry, so I'm right, everyone else is a facist pig dog with no intellect of their own" is a throw back to the hay day of Ballonknot. While occasionally a refreshing from intelligent discourse, wore out its welcome about two months ago. Sigh, if only Capt. Shady was still here, he has much more energy for dealing with individuals of your epic intellectual scope.

Now, shoo, I got more whitlin on my porch to do before I go an hang me a faggot.

And as this probably eluded you, that's sarcasm, and you are an asshat, just so we can comunicate on the same level.

Peter H.
28th October 04, 01:06 PM
There rest is pretty much just opinion I've seen spouted off for months, as is the Kerry thing.


I hate having to quote myself.

And from this you decided to attack me. You may be able to sound out the words, but you apparently don't understand them.


And if your idea of matching wits is:

Oh and one more time....fuck you.

I have surely lost this battle. I cede to your gragantuan wit.

Smeagol
29th October 04, 09:45 AM
@spincycle:
http://smeagol666.bei.t-online.de/stfu.gif

rharbers
29th October 04, 01:25 PM
Thank God Only One Of Them Can Win.