PDA

View Full Version : To be a Republican....



Balloonknot
23rd June 04, 02:20 PM
To be a Republican in 2004, somehow, you have to believe that:

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U. N. resolutions against Iraq.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

It is okay that the Bush family has done $millions of business with the Bin Laden family.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's Harken Oil stock trade are none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Affirmative Action is wrong but it is OK for your Daddy and his friends to get you into Yale, the Texas Air National Guard, Harvard Business School, part ownership of Harken Oil, part ownership of the Texas Rangers, the Governorship of Texas and then have the Supreme Court Appoint you President of the USA.

EuropIan
23rd June 04, 02:24 PM
Somebody sent you that via Emalil, right?

kismasher
23rd June 04, 02:58 PM
i love it when relevant and viable topics get buried in pouty language

McDojo Artist
23rd June 04, 03:05 PM
All conservatist parties suck,liberals suck too

riceavenger
23rd June 04, 03:15 PM
I always knew tai chi practrictioners were hippies.

SRK85
23rd June 04, 03:24 PM
HAHA i hate conseratives and liberals. Communism all the way jk. Go nader. Vote Nader 2004.

Stick
23rd June 04, 03:40 PM
Yeah, the whole "Clinton must be impeached and destroyed for his lie about a blowjob" and then "well, uh, national security".

That Clinton's lie is so visciously harped upon and seen as the great travesty of the 90's and then Bush's lies about things that are actually important are basically ignored disgusts me to no end.

Chupacabra
23rd June 04, 03:46 PM
i'm republican

SlimJim
23rd June 04, 03:47 PM
Originally posted by riceavenger
I always knew tai chi practrictioners were hippies.

Thanks for pointing that out. Until I went back and read his style, I thought he was an aikidoka.

NHB_Ben
23rd June 04, 03:47 PM
Originally posted by Chupacabra
<= republican

Less than or equal to a republican?

EuropIan
23rd June 04, 03:48 PM
Remember. The rebuplicans have tthe moral high ground, they KNOW what lies are more despicable than other (sex!? Why, I'm OUTRAGED)

Note: Clinton did other things that was wrong, but getting a bJ from a chubby intern is not it.

Chupacabra
23rd June 04, 03:49 PM
Originally posted by NHB_Ben
Less than or equal to a republican?

nah, it's an arrow pointing at me


edited it for clarification

NHB_Ben
23rd June 04, 03:56 PM
I was just joking, goat sucker.

Deluxe247
23rd June 04, 04:42 PM
die demoncrat!

Leodom
23rd June 04, 05:34 PM
Originally posted by Dai-Tenshi
Yeah, the whole "Clinton must be impeached and destroyed for his lie about a blowjob" and then "well, uh, national security".

That Clinton's lie is so visciously harped upon and seen as the great travesty of the 90's and then Bush's lies about things that are actually important are basically ignored disgusts me to no end.

Clinton lied to keep a woman (Paula Jones) from having her day in court. She accused Clinton of sexual harassment and Clinton lied to keep her from pursuing the charges. Clinton eventually lost and settled out of court. If he hadn't lied in the Paula Jones deposition, the BJ with Monica Lewinsky would have been nothing more than joke fodder for Leno and Letterman.

Regardless of what you think of the act, Clinton lied to avoid prosecution under a law he pushed for and signed. The unintended consequence was impeachment.

Leodom
23rd June 04, 05:36 PM
Regarding "To be a Republican..."

To be a Republican you have to believe that people are responsible for their own actions.

All that other CRAP posted by BalloonKnot isn't even worth replying.

Dochter
23rd June 04, 05:36 PM
He still got busted for sex.

Who were his cheif opponents on this moral crusade? Oh yeah at least via media representation it was folks like Rush and Newt.

HA!

Leodom
23rd June 04, 05:50 PM
It was presented as a moral crusade by the press in an effort to minimize the real crime. Lying to a grand jury is a felony offense. That qualifies as "High Crimes and Misdemeanors". Yes, he lied about his sex life, but he still lied to a grand jury. That is perjury. He was busted for perjury. His perjury was about sex. If it were you or I or any other citizen, we would have served jail time, regardless of the subject. In addition, since the suit to be brought by Paula Jones was a SEXUAL harassment suit, lying about his sex life is relevent to the case and not just incidental. He was trying to avoid getting busted for sexual harassment and so he was impeached for perjury.

Leodom
23rd June 04, 06:04 PM
If Clinton had been a Republican president, the press would have minimized the sex angle ostensibly in an effort to "protect" him but would have pressed the perjury charge to the hilt. It would be have been made out to be purely a perjury issue "regardless of the subject matter".

Stick
23rd June 04, 07:37 PM
Let's put Bush before the grand jury over his case for war and see what we get.

Shuma-Gorath
23rd June 04, 08:35 PM
http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/6676/SeanHannity.jpghttp://img34.imageshack.us/img34/6676/SeanHannity.jpg
http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/6676/SeanHannity.jpg

Wounded Ronin
23rd June 04, 09:27 PM
Originally posted by Leodom
Regarding "To be a Republican..."

To be a Republican you have to believe that people are responsible for their own actions.

All that other CRAP posted by BalloonKnot isn't even worth replying.


Like "To be a Republican you have to believe that people are responsible for their own actions" is really saying anything.

CaptShady
23rd June 04, 10:14 PM
So much of that is just typical bullshit lies that it spread by the left for political gain. So much of it isn't even worthy of a reply to.

Some of it is true.

Chupacabra
24th June 04, 08:50 AM
Originally posted by NHB_Ben
I was just joking, goat sucker.

i don't know why the hell that made me laugh but it did

Lady Vic
24th June 04, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by Chupacabra
i don't know why the hell that made me laugh but it did Isn't that what a Chupacabra is? Or is my crypto-zoology off?

riceavenger
24th June 04, 09:41 AM
The only thing Clinton is guilty of is extremely bad taste.

Chupacabra
24th June 04, 10:03 AM
Originally posted by Lady Vic
Isn't that what a Chupacabra is? Or is my crypto-zoology off?

yeah thats what it is.

it still makes me laugh everytime I read the words "goat sucker" though

CaptShady
24th June 04, 04:16 PM
In south Texas, it's loosely translated to "Goat Boy" .. which reminds me of one of Jim Brewer's characters on SNL .. hysterical!

Ka-Bar
24th June 04, 05:16 PM
Goat boy? WTF?

Not saying I don't believe you, but "chupacabra" literally translates as "goat sucker" and no part of the mythology mentions the creature being a humanoid-goat freak.

Jenfucius
24th June 04, 08:01 PM
to be a democrat all you have to do is be delusional and weak-minded.

now i understand why there's so many of them.

CaptShady
24th June 04, 10:56 PM
Originally posted by Ka-Bar
Goat boy? WTF?

Not saying I don't believe you, but "chupacabra" literally translates as "goat sucker" and no part of the mythology mentions the creature being a humanoid-goat freak.

In south Texas, that's EXACTLYl what "chupacabra" is. Tis the name of a half man half goat that goes around eating people, stray dogs, cats, etc. During the last "sighting" .. my pet rabbit disappeared ... the barrio was aghast!

Ka-Bar
24th June 04, 11:23 PM
Originally posted by CaptShady
In south Texas, that's EXACTLYl what "chupacabra" is. Tis the name of a half man half goat that goes around eating people, stray dogs, cats, etc. During the last "sighting" .. my pet rabbit disappeared ... the barrio was aghast!

iAy! iNo me gustan las chupacabras!
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~dechene/bumble.jpg